Does Anyone Else Not Want To Vacuum? Options

[tammy]

I'ts been 5 days since my cat Diapey died. My apartment is a total mess. But I don't want to vacuum because it will suck up her cat hair and I feel like it will be "erasing" her from ever being here. And I don't want to wash the blanket on top of my bed because I think that too will be wiping her away. If I wash the blanket and vacuum, what's left here of her?! Does anyone else feel like that?

I'm supposed to go on vacation with friends a week from tomorrow and I just don't think I'll be up for it. Should I make myself go? Any recommendations? If I don't go, how do I explain this to my friends without sounding like a crazy person?

And it really sucks to to wake up in the morning, and as soon as I open my eyes, my heart just sinks.
I don't even have to think about her; my heart is so heavy.

Thanks for listening again. And I am sorry to all those who have lost their pets too.
-Tammy

[mosmommy]

I did not want to vacuum for a long time after losing Cosmo, and I still haven't washed his blanket or the towel I was putting in the dryer and using to keep him warm. I know it feels like we would be "erasing" him from our home. It may take a while, but someday you will have to vacuum. You could keep the blanket unwashed for a while though, and snuggle with it whenever things are tough, which is daily. I cover up with Cosmo's blanket whenever I'm missing him bad, and it helps me to think that he is comforting me. Sometimes, I will fold it up and lay with it next to me, since I can't hold him anymore. I have also put the towel over my pillow and slept on it almost every night. Crazy and dirty? Maybe, but who cares!
As far as vacation goes, it might help to go, but if you don't really think you'll be able to have a good time, then tell your friends the truth. If they really love you, they won't think you're "crazy", just mourning. Whatever you decide, do not apologize for it, I know alot of people do not understand the depth of furbaby loss, but that doesn't change how you feel. As for me, it took me 2 months just to go to a movie, and I still cried while I was there even though it was an action type film. I also felt guilty on the way home, because I did have a pretty good time, and it was the first "good time" I had had since losing my Cosmo. However, I was glad that I went, since it was Cosmo's 2 month mark that day ( and I had also lost one of my pet mice 2 days before) I was happy that I didn't stay home and wallow in my grief. I had plenty of time to do that when I got back.
I hope this helps you with your decision.
Peace, Love, and Prayers,
Michelle