I Need Advise

I lost my precious kitty Devon 5 weeks ago on Wednesday. (I wonder if Wednesdays will ever be normal again.) I miss Devy desperately. My apartment is so quiet and lonely. She was my only pet. I honestly feel that I have lost my baby. My child. I have never gone through so much pain. My children are grown and they have been very supportive but they have their own lives. There is a part of me that wants to get another pet. And then there is that part that does not. Last weekend my daughter and I went to a couple shelters but I found it very sad. It seemed to make me miss Devon even more. I look at petfinder.com a lot. There is a cat on there at an Atlanta animal control (which is about 4 hours from where I live) that looks so much like Devon that I can't quit looking at it. I am so tempted to get her, but then I wonder if I would really be better off (and the cat also) if I got one totally different from her. I am so conflicted. I know I would be saving a life if I adopted another cat. But I don't know if I can go through this turmoil again. I keep telling myself that, even though this pain has been horrendous, I would not give up the 4 wonderful years I had with Devy for anything in the world.
Does it sound like I should get a new cat yet? Should I get one that looks like Devon?
Any advise would be very appreciated. Julie

2 Weeks Ago Today

Two weeks ago today I lost my precious kitty Devon. I had her for 4 years and I miss her so much, I honestly don't know what to do. I go to work, and function pretty well, but the minute I get in the car to go home, all I think about is that I am going home to an empty apartment. She used to be waiting. I would say "Where's my baby Devy? And she'd come running, roll over on her back, legs in the air and wait patiently for me to scratch her neck and tummy. She would stay in the living room with me all evening while I was watching TV, etc. and she was laying on the back of the loveseat on her favorite throw. When I turned off the TV she would jump down and run to bed. As soon as I would lie down she would get on top of me and go to sleep. I would lay there half the night without moving just to not disturb her.
God, I miss her so much! She was so good! She never got into things, and she was not terribly sociable, but she and I were very close. The funny thing is, I really wasn't crazy about the idea of having a cat. She actually belonged to my daughter and they were going to stay with me for the summer after she graduated from college. Well, Devon wasn't very crazy over the move either. Gradually, we started liking each other. When Brooke was ready to move, the person she was moving in with was allergic to cats, so I kept her. By then I was crazy over her. My family was shocked at how I felt about her. I couldn't wait to get home from work to see her. She was everything to me. My children are grown and Devon was my baby. I honestly feel that I have lost my child. I do not know how to get through this. I cannot speak about her without crying. I constantly think of those last minutes ( I had to have her put down). I still haven't been able to empty her food bowl or throw out her litter box. I haven't washed the shirt I had on that last day. The one with her hair all over it. I haven't even washed my sheets because I don't want her totally gone from my life. If I had not found this site I really don't know what I would have done. I can say things here that I don't say to anyone else. I have a good day once in a while but most of the time I feel like I am just going to scream! In some ways, I don't feel that I have really let myself go yet. I bet you are wondering what more I could do!.
When I am feeling really terrible, coming here is the only thing that keeps me sane. I know that all of you are having or have had the same feelings, but I really, really appreciate being able to vent to someone who understands.
Thank you for being here.

My Precious Devon

I lost my beloved Siamese on July 20. As I write this,I still cannot believe this happened. I say the words but I don't really believe Devon is gone. She hadn't eaten in two days and she was breathing very hard.I was so afraid something was very wrong. When I took her to the vet, I was told that she had a malignant mass in her chest cavity and there was nothingto be done. We put her to sleep that day. I amso devasted I can barely breathe. I go to work and function pretty well, but when I get up in the morning and when I come home at night I can barely stand it. My children are grown and we are very close, but it was just Devon and me. She was my baby! If I sound like I am ramblling,it is probably because I have drank a bottle of wine. I miss Devon so much, I feel like my heart is breaking! How am I supposed to get through this? I honestly feel that I have lost my child! My family thinks I should get another cat. I don't know if I am ready.I also don't know if I could go through this again. At a later time,I will write about what a wonderful time we had together, but right now I am grieving. I want my Devy back!!! I need her so much! Will this pain end?! I need all the help I can get.