I'm New And Lost My Beautiful Boy, loss of 13 year old husky Options

[Cathi]

He was a largewhite and grey husky with deep golden eyes. There was a tiny tiny bit of wolf in his genes. He had a sweet and happy spirit. He looked very noble and pranced when he walked. We used to go everywhere together, camping, walking by the river, even garage sales.

And he loved kids. When he saw them, his ears would lay flat against his head in glee and his tail would wag his back end almost off the ground. He was like a wolf who loved the pups in the pack.

He has been sick for a few weeks and stopped eating completely a few days ago. Yesterday my husband and I had to put him to sleep and I can't stop crying. This hurts way more than when even my dad died. It is like losing a child. I wish I could bring him back. It hurts so much.

Cathi

[Cathi]

I think I forgot to add....his name was Tico and he was 13 years old. (Cathi)

[PHILLONNE]

I AM VERY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. I AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME AS I LOST A 13 YEAR OLD BEAGLE THAT I LOVED SO SO MUCH. I TOO FEEL LIKE I LOST A CHILD

AND YES IT IS EVEN WORSE THAN LOOSING OLDER FAMILY MEMBERS. WITH NO
INDEFERENCE TO THEM .
.
EVEN THOUGH OUR BELOVEDS WERE AT THE LIFE EXPECTANCY RANGE, I TRIED TO START BRACING MYSELF WHEN DOLLY TURNED 10 AND WAS REALLY STARTING TO SLOW DOWN. IT DID'NT WORK ! WHEN SHE DIED A GREAT PART OF ME DIED TOO.I AM HIT SO HARD BY THIS.
THERE IS A REALLY GOOD POST BY "STEPHANIE" I BELIEVE WHICH SPELLS OUT HER STAGES OF GRIEF. IT MADE ME FEEL BETTER TO KNOW THAT I WAS'NT THE ONLY ONE TO "CAVE IN" LIKE THIS. IT'S LIKE EVRYTHING IN LIFE IS SO MUCH DULLER NOW THAT SHE'S GONE.
DOLLY PASSED ON JUN3 29TH (FOREVER MY D DAY) AND FOR TWO WEEKS OR SO I HAD TO FIGHT BACK TEARS IN THE SUPERMARKET PET FOOD AREA AND ANYWHERE THOSE REMINDERS WERE . TWO MONTHS AND 1 WEEK AND STILL NOT A TEAR- FREE DAY. AND I'M A 6-1 GUY EX FOOTBALL ETC. AND I'M NOT ONE BIT ASHAMED TO SAY I'VE CRIED OVER HER EVERYDAY.
I DON'T WRITE THIS TO DEPRESS YOU ANY FURTHER (GOD KNOWS) BUT HOPEFULLY TO LET YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT ALONE IN THIS SUFFERING. AND I HOPE THIS HELPS IN SOMEWAY.
NON PET PEOPLE REALLY DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND OR CARE , SADLY, BUT THE PEOPLE HERE DO AND YOU CAN ALWAYS TALK TO US .
DON'T BUY INTO THE GUILT DEVIL THAT SEEMS TO HAUNT US ALL. I.E. I SHOULD'VE FED THEM MORE , SHOULDA GAVE MORE TIME , IF ONLY THIS, OR THAT . YOU'LL PROBABLY FEEL THIS . DON'T BELIEVE IT THOUGH CAUSE ALL THE PEOPLE HERE ADORED THEIR PETS AND LAVISHED THEM WITH LOVE , CARE AND TREATS. I FELT GUILTY THAT I MAY HAVE NOT FED DOLLY ENOUGH (MY FIANCE' SAID HON, YOU'RE FEEDING HER TOO MUCH) UNTIL I FINALLY GOT ENOUGH NERVE TO LOOK AT OLD PICTURES OF HER AT 1, 2, 3 YEARS OLD. THIS QUICKLY PROVED "DOLLY" CERTAINLY HAD ENOUGH "COOKIES" AND STUFF AND DEVELOPED INTO A QUITE FULL FIGURED OLDER LADY. IT'S TOUGH, CAUSE AT 13 THEY ARE LIKE PEOPLE IN THEIR 80S OR SO , BUT WE SEE THEM AS OUR 13 YEAR OLD CHILD. I REALLY THINK THIS IS A GREAT SORCE OF THE PAIN . IT WAS VERY AWAKENING FOR ME TO SEE DOLLY'S PICTURES THROUGH HER YEARS AS I COULD SEE HER NATURAL AGING. BUT WHO AM I KIDDING ; SHE WILL ALWAYS BE MY SWEET "BABY GIRL".
THESE ARE INDEED "CRAZY TIMES" IN OUR LIVES. AND NOT THE GOOD FUN ONES EITHER , SO HANG IN THERE FOR NOW AND KNOW THESE CYBER STANGERS REALLY CARE A LOT . LET US KNOW.
PHIL.

[Cathi]

Thank you Phil...I am so very very sorry for your loss, what an angel your dog sounds like. Aren't they all just the TRUE angels?

Yes, I'm fighting the guilt devil and trying not to buy into it. We had a very hot summer and I'm kicking myself for not walking Tico more and just being too hot or tired.

I don't even have a good last "walk memory" of us together. Toward the end, we walked very slowly and he always wanted to walk on the grass instead of the sidewalk. I let him because I figured it felt better on his feet. I'm trying to capture the good memories but they just aren't coming very easily yet. I can only remember that he is gone. My whole body hurts from grief. He had the best spirit of anyone I know- even people. I'm rambling, but thank you again....

[PHILLONNE]

YOU'RE WELCOME FOR SURE. RIGHT NOW IT SEEMS THE HAPPIER THE MEMORY THE MORE THE PAIN . THAT'S PROBABLY WHY YOU "CAN'T SEEM TO REMEMBER" BUT DON'T WORRY , YOU WILL IN TIME.
I WAS SO DAMB MAD THAT IT WAS SO HOT THIS SUMMER BUT I KEPT DOLLY AND "FREDDIE" (HER MATE SINCE PUPPYHOOD) IN THE COOL CELLAR OR THE A.C. BUT IT CERTAINLY DID'NT MAKE HER FINAL DAYS ANY EASIER. YOU TOO, I'M SURE.
I READ WHERE RE: GRIEF, YOU CAN SOME IT UP BY THIS STATEMENT - "YOU'RE NOT FINISHED GRIEVING AT ALL UNTIL YOUR LOSS NO LONGER OCCUPIES YOUR ENTIRE THOUGHT PROCESS." YO ! BOY ! I GOT A WAYS TO GO.
PHIL.
RIGHT NOW ARE'NT WE ALL THE GREATEST LOSERS..?

[jenpij]

Cathi - I am so sorry for your loss of Tico!!! Do you have a picture of him ??
My husband and I lost our 8 yr old Golden Retriever Magee to liver cancer almost 2 months ago..... the vet recommended putting her through chemo...daily injections plus meds would give her 6-9 months !! We couldn’t believe this was happening and 6-9 months is nothing !! But when you are faced with an option of helping a loving pet you’re willing to do anything !!! So we went for it...well the chemo made Magee VERY sick...she stopped eating and became lethargic and died in my husband’s arms 12 DAYS after her initial treatment......so much for 6-9 months !!!

After becoming hysterical after she died I got angry and questioned why I put her through the chemo..if I hadn’t she would still be here !!! Why did I listen to the vet????? I should have gotten a 2nd opinion....8 is too young !!!

You’ll have good days and bad days....it’s a rollercoaster ride that NO ONE wants to be on...you’ll be filled with sadness, guilt, endless questions & thoughts....everything...Magee died 2 months ago but I think about her every day several times a day...the only thing that will help ease the pain is time.....I promise it will get “a little better” each day....

Tico is at peace now, I know that me saying that won’t ease your pain....but you just lost him recently....grieve as much as you feel you need to...someone on the boards said it normally takes 1 month for each year of your pets life to feel somewhat better....some days will be better than others....try to take care of yourself !!

[rushie'smom]

Cathi,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a cat named Tico too and my best friend has a husky wolf hybrid, I'm sure your boy was a beauty! Please believe that it does get better. I have the same regrets over not walking Rush more this summer. He was always eager to go, but as I saw him less able to walk as far as he usually did, I chalked it up to age and the heat this summer so I didn't want to stress his system. I told him and myself that we'd go more this fall when the heat subsided. Now I'll never walk with him along the lake with the crunchy leaves under our feet. My last walk with him will be to the lake to scatter his ashes this Christmas.
When I first lost him, all I could see in my mind were his last moments. Every time I closed my eyes, I could see it and it cut like a knife. Luckily, I'd taken home video of him with my kids when they were all just pups. Seeing his goofy antics and his silly face next to his sister's (my daughter) when she was just 4 helped to ease the pain. It also helped to remind me what a loving and full life he'd had in our family. We'd made a lifelong committment to him and we were able to keep it. I'm eternally grateful for that.
Try to remember the fun times. Look back over pictures of Tico when he was younger and remember the happy times. We're making a scrapbook to always remember Rush. My daughter has called dibs on it when I die! LOL Find comfort in the fact that your pet was well loved and knew you were there with him so he wasn't afraid. Now he's playing with his furry friends and waiting for the day when you'll be together again.

Hugs,
Rush's Mom

[tammy]

I am also sorry about your loss and your pain. Phil's posts are so right on I don't think I can add anymore. I just want to tell you I am sorry and please take care.

-Tammy

[Kathleen032]

Dear Cathi,

I'm so sorry for your loss of Tico. Since Shiloh had a rather lengthy illness, I spent my last few months with her making mental notes about all the cute things she did, taking pictures of her, taking extra walks, and taking extra drives in the car. Hobbie's passing was more sudden, she got sick and 2 weeks later she was gone. It sounds like I experienced with Hobbie what you're experiencing with Tico. When Hobbie first died I could only remember the things surrounded with her illness and passing. I was worried that I'd forgotten all the happy memories we had. The good news is, as time passes all those wonderful memories keep coming back. I think a person goes in shock after a major loss like Tico. When the shock passes, you'll find that all your wonderful memories of Tico will come back, and those memories will bring you so much comfort.

Take care.
Hugs,
Kathleen

[Lisa...NOAH'...]

Cathi,
I'm sorry you lost your beloved Tico. I had a husky also. Her name was Shana and she was such a beautiful, sweet girl. I had to have her put to sleep also. It's been 11 years now that she's been gone and I think of her everyday. I still have pictures of her around the house and everytime I look at them...I tell myself that someday we will be together again. I know that isn't much comfort to you right now. I know it's terribly painful to go through such a loss. My cat TJ also passed away 6 weeks ago. I had him 22 years and I am still extremely distraught. I miss him soooo much. Take each day one at a time. The first few weeks are the hardest. Post here when you feel the need. There are people here that really do care.

Lisa...NOAH'S ARK