Rafer Options

[Idajean]

It helps to write about my wonderful Dobie Rafer. This morning I was remembering his bath time. He was always so patient about this never a fight. I would say tubby time and all 108 lbs of him would calmly walk into the bathroom and jump into the tub. Other times I would take him in the shower with me. That was a site to see. Afterwards I would wrap him in 3 large bath towels and tell him to lay down. He would stay there until I was finshed bathing and cleaning the shower. His last bath was 3 weeks ago. Little did I know it would be his last. I will miss him the rest of my life. Lonely and empty is how I feel. I hope this passes.

[tanbuck]

Idajean, I read your question for Sharon on her post and where you mentioned the loneliness in the house when you come home. I hate this for you and for all of us going through this. It does ease off a little at a time. Some days are better than others. And for me, when Frasier died, I would go along doing o.k. and functioning o.k. and then BAM! out of nowhere I was on the floor again just weeping for him. I guess that's just how it all goes and it's normal. Even this morning I instinctively turned to say goodbye to the "boys" as I left for work. I have to keep catching myself with that kind of thing.
I know what you mean about the warm fuzzy body. I miss my two boys so much and I long for those little bodies against me at night. I know you miss Rafer that way.
Anyway, I just felt the despair in your post to Sharon so I wanted to let you know that someone is sending hugs your way. Not the warm fuzzy you want right now, but a hug nonetheless. I'm so sorry you are hurting.
-Donna

[Idajean]

Idajean, I read your question for Sharon on her post and where you mentioned the loneliness in the house when you come home. I hate this for you and for all of us going through this. It does ease off a little at a time. Some days are better than others. And for me, when Frasier died, I would go along doing o.k. and functioning o.k. and then BAM! out of nowhere I was on the floor again just weeping for him. I guess that's just how it all goes and it's normal. Even this morning I instinctively turned to say goodbye to the "boys" as I left for work. I have to keep catching myself with that kind of thing.
I know what you mean about the warm fuzzy body. I miss my two boys so much and I long for those little bodies against me at night. I know you miss Rafer that way.
Anyway, I just felt the despair in your post to Sharon so I wanted to let you know that someone is sending hugs your way. Not the warm fuzzy you want right now, but a hug nonetheless. I'm so sorry you are hurting.
-Donna

Thanks Donna, it means so much to me that other people feel the same way I do. I find that I am better out of the house. Its when I am home and look for him that it hurts so much. He had a favorite chair that I kept his special blanket on. I wrapped that blanket up in a ball and hold it close and cry. I can still smell him. I guess I will never wash it. I was cleaning up his doggy bowls but I could not put them away yet. I keep second guessing myself, did I do the right thing. It is so dam lousy. My only salvation is that I did spend every day of his life with him except for an occassional long week end away. I could never leave him for any lenght of time.