Rafer

It is two weeks today that Rafer is gone from my life. I went to my son's home over Easter. I visited with my grandkids and son and daughter but all the while I still felt guilty leaving our home and Rafer's memory behind. I cried a lot at night, and I was sad during the day but managed to hold it together. My daughter-in-law gave me a beautiful sterling silver disc with a dog running. She had Rafer's name engraved on the back. I thought that was so kind of her. I can wear it close to my heart always. I have started crying again this morning. Today I pick up his ashes. I JUST WANT HIM BACK WHOLE AND BEAUTIFUL AGAIN. I want my Rafer. Will I ever get over this horrible lonliness? Everything I do that was done when he was with me brings me to tears. He followed me everywhere. I always felt protected and loved with him. When I would garden his would lay near me. If I was pulling weeds he would grab the clumps of grass or whatever and toss them around. It was so funny. I think he thought he was helping. He gave me such joy, from the time I brought him home at 11 pounds to his big grown-up self at 101 pounds. I was lucky to have had him in my life, but I still wish he were here. Rafer's mom forever.

Rafer

It helps to write about my wonderful Dobie Rafer. This morning I was remembering his bath time. He was always so patient about this never a fight. I would say tubby time and all 108 lbs of him would calmly walk into the bathroom and jump into the tub. Other times I would take him in the shower with me. That was a site to see. Afterwards I would wrap him in 3 large bath towels and tell him to lay down. He would stay there until I was finshed bathing and cleaning the shower. His last bath was 3 weeks ago. Little did I know it would be his last. I will miss him the rest of my life. Lonely and empty is how I feel. I hope this passes.

Rafer

Thank you all for caring and sharing. I do not know how to download his picture. I will get my granddaughter to help me. He was a wonderful companion to me. When I first saw him has a 5 week old baby he was the most endearing one in the litter. When I picked him up at 8 weeks he had his ears cropped and was wearing tampons in his ears to hold them up. What a site. We still laugh about it. Well I tapped and re-tapped those ears for 5 months and than gave up. He alway had one lazy ear tip but still the most handsome dog. Every one that met him commented on his bueaty and gentleness. He would push up against you to make friends and lay his head on your lap for a snuggle and ear scratch. I work from home and was with him almost every day of his life .He would come into my office periodically with a ball or just to put his head in my lap as if to say I'm here are we going out to play. Writing about him helps, but the pain of his not being here is do deep.

Rafer

Rafer was born on St. Patty Day 2003 and died on March 23 2010. He was a majestic handsom Doberman. His name is Celtic meaning Rich and prosperous. I loved this dog more than any other, whether this was right or wrong it was what it was. I can't believe I will never feel his head on my lap again or look into his trusting eyes. He was taken much to early. Two weeks ago he had his yearly checkup and was pronounced healthy. After he was given all his shots we returned home and within hours he started to have problems breathing. When i took him to the vets x-rays and an EKG showed he had cardiomyopathy. What a shock. I was told with medications he may live for 6 months to a year. He only made it two weeks. We were back at the vets every 3rd day or so as he would fill up with fluid and unable to breath again. He stopped eating and with all the medications he was taking it became so futile. Last night after a day of not breathing well, increased lasix and no eating I went back to vets. His gums were white, is heart was in such a severe arrhytmia that he suggested putting him to sleep. I was just so devasted. I lay on the floor at the vets with him as they gave him the injection. I just kept telling him how much I loved him and what a wonderful boy he was, until he quietly crossed over the bridge. I am 67 and know that the pain I feel will be with me until my end. I will hold him in my heat forever.