Coping With The Ashes Options

[KayMarie]

I made my first post a few weeks ago when I lost my dog of 16 years (AKA, my whole life). Zizi died while I was away and I worked myself into a rut over it, at first. I've been steadily improving, keeping busy, but still coming to the message board, if not replying, just reading.

But since my dog's ashes came back, I've had a really bad time. I don't know if anyone else has had this problem, but my mother didn't want me to come home and see the little urn just sitting on the kitchen counter, so she put them in her closet and told me that whenever I was ready, I could take them out and she would put the ashes in the urn we had made for him.

Only I haven't been able to do it. I cleaned a spot in my room for him, next to my dresser, where he slept when he wasn't sleeping on my bed. I ordered a little keepsake chest to keep his things in like his AKC certificates, pictures, and tags. I have everything ready... but I can't take the ashes out of the closet.

I'll go in, look at the little box, then start crying. I get so upset, I can't even move. I'll sit with it there in my hands, but I can never bring myself to walk out of the closet holding that little thing and I keep thinking "He can't fit in this." I realize that's a little crazy, but I can't seem to stop myself. It distresses me so much.

My mom keeps telling me to take my time, but I feel bad about leaving him in there. It feels like I'm ignoring what's there, even though I still think about him every day.

[Muffins]

Hi Kay Marie:

I know there are many people on this site that can help you A LOT better than I can with regard to your precious
Zizi's remains.
It's also "not crazy" to think "how can my Zizi fit into this container???"
I know other posters here have thought the same thing.............

Ben and I decided "not" to get Ernestine's remains when she was put to sleep on 2/7/2004...........
Personally, of course we loved her (and still do) very, very much.........
But, we believe that She is a part of everything that makes this world beautiful.
And, she always will be........

One thing I've heard said is that you shouldn't take the ashes out of the plastic wrap that comes inside the box.....
And then you can move it to a ceramic urn........
There will be other posters who can help you better.......

You are "not ignoring what's there", because after death, I believe, we are not in "the shell" that is "left over"....
I realize that we all have individual beliefs............
None are right/wrong --- they're just personal & individual; that's all.

I am happy that you have a spot in your room for Zizi's things......
Sixteen years is a very long time to love a furbaby.......
I remember your cute picture, with you as a little one sleeping, and Zizi sleeping right next to you..........
It was the most adorable picture I've seen in a long time.

I hope in some tiny way, this has helped...
Love, Denise