I Need Advise Options

[Julie]

I lost my precious kitty Devon 5 weeks ago on Wednesday. (I wonder if Wednesdays will ever be normal again.) I miss Devy desperately. My apartment is so quiet and lonely. She was my only pet. I honestly feel that I have lost my baby. My child. I have never gone through so much pain. My children are grown and they have been very supportive but they have their own lives. There is a part of me that wants to get another pet. And then there is that part that does not. Last weekend my daughter and I went to a couple shelters but I found it very sad. It seemed to make me miss Devon even more. I look at petfinder.com a lot. There is a cat on there at an Atlanta animal control (which is about 4 hours from where I live) that looks so much like Devon that I can't quit looking at it. I am so tempted to get her, but then I wonder if I would really be better off (and the cat also) if I got one totally different from her. I am so conflicted. I know I would be saving a life if I adopted another cat. But I don't know if I can go through this turmoil again. I keep telling myself that, even though this pain has been horrendous, I would not give up the 4 wonderful years I had with Devy for anything in the world.
Does it sound like I should get a new cat yet? Should I get one that looks like Devon?
Any advise would be very appreciated. Julie

[samhaincat]

Wednesday for you too? My precious Zody (the black one) and much loved Spicey (the shaded golden) died two years apart almost on the same day, both on a Wednesday. After awhile (a long while for me) it does become just another day in the week, the actual date becomes more important.
I don't know what's best for you...I can only share my experience. When Zody died it was devastating, I had had to put him to sleep and the vet couldn't find a vein and he struggled terribly, I felt awful- I wanted to comfort him but then he was gone and all I could do was hold his limp body.
I made the mistake afterwards and got another kitty too soon, 4 months later, he was black like Zody but he wasn't Zody and he had at first a very annoying personality-annoying to me because he was totally opposite to Zody, Zody was calm, quiet, laid back, Loki was hyper noisy and mischievous. I honestly didn't like him at the beginning and even tried to find another home for him...but fate (or perhaps Zody's spirit) had something else in mind. Gradually the screeching hyper little maniac wormed his way into my heart, and it wasn't until he himself had a health scare did I suddenly realize how much I had come to love him. He'll be two at the end of September and I adore and love him dearly, no amount of money in the world would make me part with him now.
Now that my little sweetness Spicey died, peacefully in her sleep, which was still traumatizing for me but less than Zody's death, the urge to fill that big hole in my heart and the void in my home is strong but this time I am not rushing, I'm giving myself time to mourn her. (when I do get another cat I'm pretty sure I will look for one that resembles spicey).
That's just me though, and I think I realized from when Zody died that no matter what I did the ache in my heart was still there, in fact it is to this day.
Do what it is good for your heart, follow your gut instinct but know that no other kitty no matter how much you love them and how similiar they look to Devon will take away what you felt for Devon.
I do find it comforting that Loki is a black hairball like Zody was, he also has the same colour eyes, however his face and body type are completely different as his most of his personality, however I must say as he gets older he once in awhile does something that only Zody did and I look at him in amazement and wonder sometimes if Zody's spirit is whispering little cat words in his ear. Peace will come to you in time, and hopefully you too will feel as if Devon's presence is somehow close by.