Ok, so I'm back home, and doing everyday things. However, nothing is the same. Every activity, every moment, every day/hour/minute is filled with one refrain: "Falkor is dead." It's always there. It seems to fill up my entire self.

I wake up in the morning and see the sun. "Falkor is dead."
We go grocery shopping. "Falkor is dead."
I'm drinking coffee. "Falkor is dead."
I'm visiting friends. "Falkor is dead."
I'm watching soccer with Michael. "Falkor is dead."
"Falkor is dead.""Falkor is dead.""Falkor is dead."
All the time. Whatever I do. I know this will improve, but by God, it's no fun right now at two weeks and one day.

I'm so sorry for your loss again Steph. I know what you mean though. I go through my day...like I would any other day...even when Omar was alive, and I just think of it different. Hard to explain. It's the toughest pulling up to the house, and I can't hear him make his noise through the window because he's excited I'm home...then run to the garage door to away my appearance. I miss that. The pain is so great. And all I hear from people is...he had a great life...he was old...you did what you had to do. I know all that...but I hurt. I hurt bad. I keep thinking...last Saturday Omar was here with me. Fine. What happened? It's so odd in my house without him. There is a different 'feeling' in the house. Hard to explain.

Take care.
Omarmommy
Marcie

Steph:

I feel your pain and know exactly where you're coming from. I lost my Shenley less than a week ago and just can't get her off my mind - seems like everything I do reminds me. I can say that the painful moments are becoming fewer replaced by the good memories. I wish there was something I could say to lessen your hurt. Please know that we all will eventually find peace with our loss. Hang in there.

I am so sorry you are going through this. All you can do is let time go by. Take it one day at a time and try to keep yourself occupied with as many distractions as possible.

Take care,
Ken Albin

Hey Steph,
I completely understand how you feel. It's been almost at two months since I lost my little furry girl, Zoe, and I am still grieving terribly.
Hang in there ~ stay strong.
Deanna

Hi Steph, I really feel your pain, cuz I'm going thru that too. With me, I tried to prepare myself for it. I knew eventually "it" was going to happen. But all the prep in the world will not completely stop the heart from shattering. Even though I tried to mentally prepare myself for the initial passing, it's the emptiness that completely eluded me. How did I forget to prepare myself for that emptiness. No more greetings, no more of everything the way life was that I took for granted at times. Life is a rough ride right now for a lot of us. My thoughts are with you.. Ann

I'm right there with you Steph. It's been a tough week for me. I'll be doing something around the house and all of the sudden I'll think of Angel in the emergency vet so sick and of us saying goodbye to her... and then I'll think, "my Angel is gone, my pretty girl is dead". I know just how you feel. I'm so sorry.

Hi, Steph, life isn't fun when we lose a beloved furchild. In the beginning it feels like life will never have any meaning again. We go through the days like a robot on automatic pilot, and when we do "feel" anything it's the deepest sadness that our hearts and souls will ever know, and then we don't want to "feel" anything. We go through the motions to appear "alive" and "adjusting" to other humans around us while our hearts continue to crumble with the grief of our loss. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Steph, and please let us know how you're doing. We are here for you, Steph.

Peace and blessings,

moon_beam

Dear (((((((Steph)))))))

I truly understand how you feel my friend and am sending you lots of hugs.

I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and my prayers at this very difficult time.

Peace, comfort & love,

Denise xo

Thank you all so much for your responses. I can't tell you how much it means to me to have people around who understand that he was so much more than "just a dog".

Hi again Steph, I'd just wanted to respond to what you said about being "just a dog".I don't know what I hate more, hearing "oh, he's just a dog, or "she's just a cat" or whatever as much as "just get another one". Obviously, these people have nevered truely loved a pet. I just found out today that my boyfriend's brother might lose his dog. They have found lumps and is being tested for cancer. It doesn't sound good. We all joked about how he treats his Kiara. I pray it's nothing for his sake. They won't be able to afford the medical treatments. My heart aches just thinking about it. I'm not rich by any means, but if Arthur went thru the surgery like I thought, it would have been 5000.00 if not more and I would have gladly paid it just to have him back. Next time around, I'm seriouly thinking of getting pet insurance...Take Care.. Ann

That too annoys me. I had "just a dog", but he was MY dog for 14 yrs and loved me so unconditionally even when I doubted myself.

I read somewhere that it's a shame for people that have lost a pet to say they never will get another so they don't need to go thru the loss again, but right at this moment, I can't even think of another.

Hang in there and know we are all here for you when you need us.

Omarmommy
-Marcie

Hi Steph,

Sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. It's been four days for me and so far it seems like the hurt has been getting worse as the reality sinks in. It now seems like even when I am not consiously thinking about the loss I still feel depressed. Like I am trying to recover from a car crash.

Keep sharing.

Steph, it never ceases to amaze me the insensitivity of people. Falkor and all our furkids are not "just a - - - " They are living, breathing, feeling, loving, devoted companions. They cannot be replaced for they are individuals with their own special personalities and gifts. Falkor was, and still is, and always will be, the love of your life in his own special, unique individual way. Each of us here do share your loss, Steph, and we are here for you through this very painful time.

Peace and blessings,

moon_beam

I know how you all feel. I'm on day 6 without Stella and every action I've taken seems to come with, "This is the first time I've (insert action) since Stella's been gone." I mean, really... cleaning the lint out of the dryer, changing the sheets, taking the trash out, riding my bike, eating pasta.... everything! I'm almost driving myself loony, but it happens immediately with everything I do. I'm almost beginning to realize she's not coming back, I guess. But I still can't bring myself to use the "d" word with her. She's just gone to somewhere else, and I'll see her again another time. Funny thing, she has been visiting me in my dreams, although only briefly, since I asked her to. She was always so obliging. I love you, Stel..

Steph-

I completely understand this thinking process. It is so hard how uncontrollable it feels to have your mind keep going back to these thoughts. I appreciate you sharing this, because it is such a hard place to be in.

-Beth26