I am sitting here, a grown man, with tears dropping onto my clothes, because the light has gone out of my life. My beautiful little cat, my own love for 11 years, my Chance, was killed by a stray dog in the street outside my house this morning. She was dead before I could get outside. I brought her inside and laid her on the couch, she spasmed a little, but she was already gone. I buried her in the woods across the road from my house a little while later.

This is the worst I have ever felt. My friends are being very kind, but I don't know how it'll be when I go out of my door again. I live alone, but I never felt lonely when my Chance was with me. Now I am understanding loneliness. It's very early, but I feel so bad. Not guilty, not angry, just sad. I don't think grieving is wrong, but I wasn't ready for this. My house is empty and still. It seems unfamiliar. I feel unbalanced, uncentred, I feel like a stranger in my own skin. I can imagine no comfort.

Thanks for reading this, and thanks to whoever for the site.

h

Oh Iam so sorry for the loss of Chance. When we lose our pets to such a tragedy it must be awful. At least my boy was almost 16 and I had time to prepare myself before he was put to sleep.
This forum is a good place to come to just put down your feelings.
I know when my Raggs died I felt dead inside almost no feeling at all. it has been since July so I am better but for you it is fresh. There will be others that will write much more comforting things as they seem better than myself to have more words of wisdom but I have to say this site did help me and I hope it helps you. Cry all you need to it shows you are human
Raggs Mom Joanne

I wish you peace, and know how painful it is to lose a companion who was always there for you.
I've recently lost one of my cat companions. I knew my beloved pet was ill, but your situation is so much harder, because you didn't know that today would be the day you would have to let Chance go.

I can really relate to what you've said about being a stranger in your own skin. Anyone who has shared their life with a pet learns that they make us whole in ways that we don't often figure out until after they are gone. Often, it is the ones who we do not plan to come in to our lives that do this best for us. (My cat was a stray, i.e. "dumped")

Take the time and solitude you need to in order to honor the gift Chance gave you. Believe no one who tells you it is foolish to feel this way about a cat. Everyone here knows how you feel about Chance. Post again when you feel up to it. I am sorry for your loss.

Hi, I am SO sorry for your loss!

What an unbelievable, indescribable heartache you are experiencing right now. The death of a pet is like nothing else. They depend on us, give us unconditional love, are with us every day.. they're our kids.

Chance knows you loved and love her very much. For some unknown reason, maybe it was her time to pass on. You WILL be reunited with her, when it's your time. I know that seems like such a very long time from now that it seems it will be impossible to live through your earthly life "without her." ...But her spirit is all around you, and she wants you to be okay. Her soul is now in the realm where she'll never experience emotional or physical pain, and she is not aware of the pain of being separated from you, of time or space. She's only aware of bliss.

BUt the impossible-feeling place to be is where you're at. Your heart has been shattered. I'm so so sorry, and I'm glad you found this site. We here all know so well the pain of losing our furry kids, and we'll help you through this. When I lost my Little Girl, all I could do was practically live on this site (even while I slept I kept my computer on, beside my bed, at this site, and it somehow helped me feel not so alone), and I watched **, and talked only to people who would understand. My first venture out of the house was difficult, because I didn't have that warm greeting. Gradually I felt better. Even though it seems impossible right now, believe me that you will too.

Please write some more, about how you're doing. I hope that knowing Chance went quickly, and knowing that she is at peace and in bliss, helps.

Possibly, if and when you're able, you might even adopt another needy animal in Chance's honor. She would be proud. But only if/when you feel up to it. When I felt I was ready, I adopted other needy animals, in my Little Girl's honor, and it helped. No one will EVER replace your Chance, but love is stronger than the death of the physical body, and her love will live on in you. And please remember---you'll be together again.

Sending you prayers of understanding and peace of mind,
Love,
Kathy

When I was a child, our cat, Glitter Black, was attacked by a dog on Cape Cod. My parents, no cat lovers, waited until they were ready to go out to dinner to take her to the vet, who "put her to sleep." It is over 35 years later and her death still haunts me, so I understand how you feel. That your loved one was taken from you by violence and suffered fear and pain is unbearable, even if the assailant is not morally responsible. It helps me to think that Glitter and now your Chance are in God's care now and His perfect love is better than any human's

As you go through the stages of mourning, you might feel other emotions, even anger and guilt. Be gentle with yourself and accepting of all emotions - it can be almost interesting to notice the fluxuations in moods - a scent, a snippet of music, a bark, seeing another Yorkie causes all sorts of emotions concerning the death of my dog, the brought me to this site.

I agree with LittleGirl's Mommy - when you are ready, there is no need to be lonely - you can adopt a cat in Chance's honor. The new cat can't and won't replace Chance in your heart - but you have room for both. There is no limit on our capacity to love. When is the time right? Only you know. It differs for everyone. Some cannot bear a petless home and need a new friend quickly, others need longer to adjust to the loss of their friend. There is no right or wrong answer. Either way, you will mourn for Chance - do you want to mourn alone or with another companion by your side.

When Daisy passed away, if I didn't have a toddler, I would have gotten a new dog almost immediately. To be without a dog is unthinkable to me, but I am waiting since my son is still to young to understand and appreciate how to treat a furry friend. Daisy was already here when he arrived and they kept a separate peace.

There is no reason for you to be alone, any longer than you feel you need to. Wonderful cats are out there waiting for a home. No Chances, but other creatures needing love. It is not a betrayal of Chance, but an honor to her - that she made such a difference in your life that you forever want to have cats.

Daisy's Mommy

There are no words that will make you feel better right now. All of us here have been right where you are now. I am very sorry for your loss. The hurt will ease over time when you are ready. Until then, mourn your baby and take comfort in knowing she is at Rainbow Bridge now with all of our furbabies. Please know I am praying for you and Chance.

Your friend in grief,

Kurbysma

I am so, so sorry for your pain and loss. I've never not had other cats in the house when I lost one of mine, so I can't even imagine how lonely that must be, and I just feel awful for you. I don't know what your personal beliefs are, but my feeling is that our departed pets watch over us and feel unending love from a greater power that they are with now. Right now, I know it seems that words will not change how you feel, and maybe they won't now, but one day the time will come when the pain does lessen - it doesn't go away, but it does ease.

There are few concrete things you can do change what has happened, but if there is a stray in your area which is dangerous and unpredictable enough to do this to Chance, you might want to contact Animal Control to let them know. It may make no difference, but it could save another pet one day.

And while it is never a good idea to make any drastic decisions in the depths of this kind of pain, I would also have to agree that at some point, in tribute to Chance and your mutual love which will never be gone, you might want to consider adopting another lonely soul who might not have any other opportunity to reap the benefits of the immense love which you never lose, however many heartbreaks you may experience in life. It may seem inconceivable now, but in my loneliest and saddest times of my life, my cats have been a literal Godsend.

Again, I extend my very deepest sympathy, and I pray for you and Chance, and peace for you both. Please come back and let us know how you're doing. We've all been there and we understand the pain, and most of all, we care. Bless you both - Barbara

I am very sorry for your loss.

One thing that helped me a bit was visiting the shelter cats every few days and talking to them. I know it sounds silly, but the unconditional quality of love in the way they just look at you and meow, or rub their cheeks against your hand is soothing. Even though it is not your pet, it makes you feel as though someone is there and listening.

I wish you peace.

I am very sorry for your loss. It sounds like Chance had a great home with you and was very happy. You gave her a great life. If you feel up to it, post a topic in the pets memorial section and tell Chances' story. Tell everyone how you two met and got together and some of your memories you have with your great friend. I felt this helped me when I found this forum.

So sorry for your loss, I do know how you feel, we had to say goodbye to our baby boy Nipper (border collie) 10 days ago and although we are still feeling grief like never before, it is getting a little easier. At least I have my soul mate to help me through this experience, both Ralph my husband and I have been to hell and back and can now find comfort in this website, where we read every day other strories of heartache. Maybe one day we will get another dog but at the moment we cannot even think about it. I know that there are many animals out there who would appreciate your love and maybe that is what you need too, being on your own. Never feel that you do not have anyone to talk to, as we are all here ready to listen and sympathize with you. I hope that you begin to heal as we have .

Your friend Kathryn

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you will remember your cat always and know she is in a much better place, free from pain and suffering. She is whole and eternal; I hope this is comforting to you at such a bad time in your life.
Will be praying for you!
Lisa

dear h,
How terrible it is to have lost you best beloved Chance in so sad a way. I understand your pain. It is almost 11 weeks since my dearest Furry died of heart disease aged 12. I have felt like life isn't worth living often since then. But by giving a home to another cat - Bella- who is older than Furry was when she died, has helped me to keep going.
As Lovelost suggested for you, I started by going to the shelter just to cuddle the oldies, but found myself responding to her need for love. It is still a bittersweet experience, as if Furry hadn't died then Bella wouldn't be here.
Time truly does help to ease the pain, but the grief comes & goes. I find that this site is a great comfort as no-one else wants to hear me anymore. So come back & tell us all about your dearest Chance.
Judith

Thanks to everyone who wrote something, you have all helped me tremendously to get through the first part of my grief with a degree of support I never expected.

Thank you for all your good wishes, your prayers and your expressions of sympathy. It is a very valuable part of this experience for me, and an invaluable resource for anyone in a similar position. I never expected to feel so grateful to complete strangers.

I read your comments in the midst of my sadness, and I hope you believe me when I say each one exorcised my torment a little more.

The worst times are waking up in a silent house, and returning from work to no welcome. Any time in between activities catches me catching my breath. I also detect certain people's patience with another's grief is easily exhausted. I will take my own good time, with your established and continuing support.

I can't say I have a spiritual side, much to my regret - I have looked, but there's nothing there for me - so I am forced to turn to a more everyday course. This is no way meant to express disrespect for anyone else's beliefs. We are all trying to work towards the same goal, I think.

I buried my Chance under some trees in the woods I walk through every day on the way to work. She is in a beautiful spot, the autumn sun playing through the branches. This comforts me. I can visit any time. She will always be in my heart, always. How much I loved her I am only just beginning to acknowledge fully. My only love. I miss you everywhere in my life.

Thank you all again, and I wish you all the peace you have revealed to me.

h

To finish, I have close contacts with the local Stray Cat Charity, and thus access to any number of deserving cases. This is an avenue I will explore more fully in the near future. There is no need to be lonely, someone said. How right you are.

Hackneyslim, I too was shocked at the love and compassion of strangers.I lost my boy of 14 years two weeks ago tomorrow the same way- the neighbors dog. All I can tell you is that it does get better. The week following his death I felt like my heart was totally exposed and that anyone could touch it. Just reach in and touch it. And they did! It was so oddly comforting. Look forward to that, enjoy the love of strangers and when you're ready- get a new cat! michaelT

Oh what a traumatic experience for you...how sad to lose Chance this way. Even though it was too soon, you gave her a good life and loved her so...

I too question spirituality...but I found it good to participate in the Rainbow bridge ceremony Monday nights. There was something powerful in knowing other people in the world were grieving the loss of their beloved pets too. Even if you don't participate, still add Chance's name to the list.

http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

http://rainbowsbridge.com/CandleLighting_Tribute/default.htm

I too live alone and could not stand the quiet house so adopted another cat quite soon. It felt right - you will know when it is time too.

hackneyslim,
Please know that we will always be here for you, and you don't need a spiritual side to know pain or to eventually find that it eases, which in spite of your present agony, it does in time. It's nice that you can visit Chance every day - I think that's a wonderful touch, and one which Chance would appreciate. They never leave our hearts or souls, and even when we feel we can't carry on without them, somehow we do.

I wouldn't want to offend you, or make you uncomfortable, but since everyone here is in my prayers, you and Chance will always be as well. You were wonderful to her, and to the other stray cats you volunteer with, and to me that makes you a special and rare person indeed. So many people can pass these poor souls by, yet you cared, and that's a rarer and rarer quality in our society. Please let us know how it goes, and take care of yourself - it's very easy, I've found, in the midst of deep grief, to ignore one's own health. Best wishes - Barbara

I know exactly how you're feeling. My cat Freida was recently attacked and killed by an unleased dog right in front of our house, just as it was getting dark on September 3. I just logged back into this Site after "Wake Me Up When September Ends" came on the radio, and I started to get sad again. (I also lost another cat last September.)

Take care, I'll be thinking about you.

Inessence

I lost my beloved cat last night on the Friday 13th. He was very sick and went into coma early in the morning, and died looking so peacefully. I buried him today. He was my good companion, every time I laid down on the floor and type into my laptop, he would be next to me looking into screen and sometimes to try to hit the keyboard while typing. Now I am laying down with my laptop, alone, without his meow, and brushing againt me. I feel so alone and empty. I could not believe that the loss of the pet could be so painfull. I will never forget my cat, he is in my memory forever.