Hi people,
It is so good to know that there are so many kind animal lovers out there.
Yesterday we had to put our wild-eyed, grey, one-step-from-the-wild "Elliott bin Laden, Terrorist Cat" to sleep due to chronic kidney failure. I am in so much pain that I feel like I don't even want to go on. My husband and I have no children so our cats, dogs and birds are our 'babies'. Elliott was probably the most unique character I've ever had in a pet: clever, mischievious, deeply affectionate, and omnipresent in our home. I can't go anywhere in the house without running into a reminder of him, and behaviors that once annoyed me are now looked back upon wistfully.
I want him back. I don't want him to be dead.
He always wanted to be where the humans were, the center of activity.
When I am in the bathroom I am reminded how many times I caught him splaching in the toilet. In the kitchen I realize I no longer have to put half empty glasses in the sink because if I don't he will knock them over. On the screened-in porch his footprints are everywhere......In the spare room there is still a little 'nest' in my pile of dirtly clothes that I need to wash; his last resting place. I am utterly, woefully, inconsolable. This was unexpected, he wes only 10! We always thought that he would live a long, long time because he was so energetic and large and lean and healthy. I ache, I ache, I ache. I can't get away from it. This is too painful, much too painful.
I struggle to believe in god, I always have and yet, if I don't think that his spirit lives on somewhere in the universe then I'll go nuts. I feel like there is a huge hole in my heart right now that I can't plug. I miss him terribly and the worst part is, I know it will go on for a long time, that the only way it will heal is through time and that is something that I can hardly stand.
so, I would welcome any words of encouragement or support, any words of wisdom, any advice you have for getting through this. I didn't want to go to bed last night because that was our special time. Every night he would race me upstairs to bed and then curl up under my arm......although, interestingly enough, last night Otis (our other cat) came in and curled up under my arm! He didn't stay very long, but it was almost like he knew I needed him. 2 years ago we had to put another cat to sleep (cancer), my beloved and favorite pet, Jet-boy: the Most Exquistie, Cute and Perfect Cat. That nearly killed me. He was 16 years old. I was just beginning to be able to think about him without becoming totally depressed and now Elliott is gone. It wasn't supposed to happen so soon....I'm not ready. I still need him. He didn't have a long enough life.
I'm so very, very sad.....
Thank you for listening,
Mikki
Full Version: Elliott Is Gone And I Am Bereft.......
QUOTE (Mikki @ Sep 14 2008, 05:33 PM) 
Hi people,
It is so good to know that there are so many kind animal lovers out there.
Yesterday we had to put our wild-eyed, grey, one-step-from-the-wild "Elliott bin Laden, Terrorist Cat" to sleep due to chronic kidney failure. I am in so much pain that I feel like I don't even want to go on. My husband and I have no children so our cats, dogs and birds are our 'babies'. Elliott was probably the most unique character I've ever had in a pet: clever, mischievious, deeply affectionate, and omnipresent in our home. I can't go anywhere in the house without running into a reminder of him, and behaviors that once annoyed me are now looked back upon wistfully.
I want him back. I don't want him to be dead.
He always wanted to be where the humans were, the center of activity.
When I am in the bathroom I am reminded how many times I caught him splaching in the toilet. In the kitchen I realize I no longer have to put half empty glasses in the sink because if I don't he will knock them over. On the screened-in porch his footprints are everywhere......In the spare room there is still a little 'nest' in my pile of dirtly clothes that I need to wash; his last resting place. I am utterly, woefully, inconsolable. This was unexpected, he wes only 10! We always thought that he would live a long, long time because he was so energetic and large and lean and healthy. I ache, I ache, I ache. I can't get away from it. This is too painful, much too painful.
I struggle to believe in god, I always have and yet, if I don't think that his spirit lives on somewhere in the universe then I'll go nuts. I feel like there is a huge hole in my heart right now that I can't plug. I miss him terribly and the worst part is, I know it will go on for a long time, that the only way it will heal is through time and that is something that I can hardly stand.
so, I would welcome any words of encouragement or support, any words of wisdom, any advice you have for getting through this. I didn't want to go to bed last night because that was our special time. Every night he would race me upstairs to bed and then curl up under my arm......although, interestingly enough, last night Otis (our other cat) came in and curled up under my arm! He didn't stay very long, but it was almost like he knew I needed him. 2 years ago we had to put another cat to sleep (cancer), my beloved and favorite pet, Jet-boy: the Most Exquistie, Cute and Perfect Cat. That nearly killed me. He was 16 years old. I was just beginning to be able to think about him without becoming totally depressed and now Elliott is gone. It wasn't supposed to happen so soon....I'm not ready. I still need him. He didn't have a long enough life.
I'm so very, very sad.....
Thank you for listening,
Mikki
It is so good to know that there are so many kind animal lovers out there.
Yesterday we had to put our wild-eyed, grey, one-step-from-the-wild "Elliott bin Laden, Terrorist Cat" to sleep due to chronic kidney failure. I am in so much pain that I feel like I don't even want to go on. My husband and I have no children so our cats, dogs and birds are our 'babies'. Elliott was probably the most unique character I've ever had in a pet: clever, mischievious, deeply affectionate, and omnipresent in our home. I can't go anywhere in the house without running into a reminder of him, and behaviors that once annoyed me are now looked back upon wistfully.
I want him back. I don't want him to be dead.
He always wanted to be where the humans were, the center of activity.
When I am in the bathroom I am reminded how many times I caught him splaching in the toilet. In the kitchen I realize I no longer have to put half empty glasses in the sink because if I don't he will knock them over. On the screened-in porch his footprints are everywhere......In the spare room there is still a little 'nest' in my pile of dirtly clothes that I need to wash; his last resting place. I am utterly, woefully, inconsolable. This was unexpected, he wes only 10! We always thought that he would live a long, long time because he was so energetic and large and lean and healthy. I ache, I ache, I ache. I can't get away from it. This is too painful, much too painful.
I struggle to believe in god, I always have and yet, if I don't think that his spirit lives on somewhere in the universe then I'll go nuts. I feel like there is a huge hole in my heart right now that I can't plug. I miss him terribly and the worst part is, I know it will go on for a long time, that the only way it will heal is through time and that is something that I can hardly stand.
so, I would welcome any words of encouragement or support, any words of wisdom, any advice you have for getting through this. I didn't want to go to bed last night because that was our special time. Every night he would race me upstairs to bed and then curl up under my arm......although, interestingly enough, last night Otis (our other cat) came in and curled up under my arm! He didn't stay very long, but it was almost like he knew I needed him. 2 years ago we had to put another cat to sleep (cancer), my beloved and favorite pet, Jet-boy: the Most Exquistie, Cute and Perfect Cat. That nearly killed me. He was 16 years old. I was just beginning to be able to think about him without becoming totally depressed and now Elliott is gone. It wasn't supposed to happen so soon....I'm not ready. I still need him. He didn't have a long enough life.
I'm so very, very sad.....
Thank you for listening,
Mikki
Mikki-Let me first say I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss of Elliott. You have come to the right place. This site was a lifesaver when I lost my 14 yr old furbaby dog Omar. It is coming up on 6 weeks now. I can't believe it's been that long. I can honestly say that the 'heart wrenching pain' is almost gone, but the sadness and the tears are not. It's funny how the things that used to bug us about our furbabies are now the things we would so love to have. I miss the balls of fur he would leave behind when he got up from his favorite spots. I miss the dog fur that would find it's way to my food. I miss kicking his water bowl, of course right when I filled it. I miss being late for something, but that was his favorite time he wanted to wander the back yard and not 'hear' me. I know I can get another furbaby. I don't want another furbaby right now. I miss my Omar so much. So come here to talk about your Elliott kitty as much as you need to. We love to hear stories. Hang in there. Time is what works. Even though the beginning time SUCKS, it does get better...little by little.
Hugs,
Marcie
Hi, Mikki, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Elliott. Losing a beloved fur or feathered companion is never easy regardless of the cir%%stances or how long we have been blessed with the gift of their physical presence. This grief journey is one of the hardest experiences we will ever go through on this side of eternity. Our fur and feathered companions give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention and we surrender ourselves to them completely, and this is one of the reasons why it hurts so deeply when must let go of their physical presence. Euthanasia is similar to stopping life support for a human family member or friend. And it is the last gift of love we can give to our beloved companions - - at great sacrifice to us - - so that they can join the angels in heaven's perfect garden healed and healthy once again with their dignity intact. Many people struggle with the thought of not being reunited with their fur and feathered kin in heaven, but I wish to assure you that your beloved Elliott and Jet-boy, and all of your beloved companions will be with you in eternal joy when it is your appropriate time to join them. You have known God's perfect love for you through your beloved companions, and He provides a place for them in His eternal kingdom. Scripture specifically states this, although many organized religions choose to ignore it and will not acknowledge it when someone brings it to their attention. If you would like further information about this I would be glad to send it to you. You can e-mail me individually and I will be very glad to respond to you. But for now, Mikki, the emptiness in your heart feels like an abyss, and your arms ache to hold him, and your fingers hurt to run them through his fur again. I found that holding my Eli's collar and sleeping with it helped with the immediate physical pain of separation; it was very comforting to hold onto something that just belonged to him. And hopefully at some point in time you will come to understand that Elliott's sweet living Spirit is still with you in your heart and your memories, and nothing and no one can ever take this from you, and you will come to undertand that your relationship with him has just temporarily transformed to a different dimension. Your bond is as strong with him as it has ever been as it now transcends both time and space. This grief journey is a one day at a time journey, Mikki, and unfortunately it cannot be rushed. But it is a journey that you do not have to travel alone. Each of us here knows first hand the painful grief journey of losing a beloved companion, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Mikki, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
QUOTE
Hi people,
It is so good to know that there are so many kind animal lovers out there.
Yesterday we had to put our wild-eyed, grey, one-step-from-the-wild "Elliott bin Laden, Terrorist Cat" to sleep due to chronic kidney failure. I am in so much pain that I feel like I don't even want to go on. My husband and I have no children so our cats, dogs and birds are our 'babies'. Elliott was probably the most unique character I've ever had in a pet: clever, mischievous, deeply affectionate, and omnipresent in our home. I can't go anywhere in the house without running into a reminder of him, and behaviors that once annoyed me are now looked back upon wistfully.
I want him back. I don't want him to be dead.
He always wanted to be where the humans were, the center of activity.
When I am in the bathroom I am reminded how many times I caught him splashing in the toilet. In the kitchen I realize I no longer have to put half empty glasses in the sink because if I don't he will knock them over. On the screened-in porch his footprints are everywhere......In the spare room there is still a little 'nest' in my pile of dirty clothes that I need to wash; his last resting place. I am utterly, woefully, inconsolable. This was unexpected, he was only 10! We always thought that he would live a long, long time because he was so energetic and large and lean and healthy. I ache, I ache, I ache. I can't get away from it. This is too painful, much too painful.
I struggle to believe in god, I always have and yet, if I don't think that his spirit lives on somewhere in the universe then I'll go nuts. I feel like there is a huge hole in my heart right now that I can't plug. I miss him terribly and the worst part is, I know it will go on for a long time, that the only way it will heal is through time and that is something that I can hardly stand.
so, I would welcome any words of encouragement or support, any words of wisdom, any advice you have for getting through this. I didn't want to go to bed last night because that was our special time. Every night he would race me upstairs to bed and then curl up under my arm......although, interestingly enough, last night Otis (our other cat) came in and curled up under my arm! He didn't stay very long, but it was almost like he knew I needed him. 2 years ago we had to put another cat to sleep (cancer), my beloved and favorite pet, Jet-boy: the Most Exquisite, Cute and Perfect Cat. That nearly killed me. He was 16 years old. I was just beginning to be able to think about him without becoming totally depressed and now Elliott is gone. It wasn't supposed to happen so soon....I'm not ready. I still need him. He didn't have a long enough life.
I'm so very, very sad.....
Thank you for listening,
Mikki
It is so good to know that there are so many kind animal lovers out there.
Yesterday we had to put our wild-eyed, grey, one-step-from-the-wild "Elliott bin Laden, Terrorist Cat" to sleep due to chronic kidney failure. I am in so much pain that I feel like I don't even want to go on. My husband and I have no children so our cats, dogs and birds are our 'babies'. Elliott was probably the most unique character I've ever had in a pet: clever, mischievous, deeply affectionate, and omnipresent in our home. I can't go anywhere in the house without running into a reminder of him, and behaviors that once annoyed me are now looked back upon wistfully.
I want him back. I don't want him to be dead.
He always wanted to be where the humans were, the center of activity.
When I am in the bathroom I am reminded how many times I caught him splashing in the toilet. In the kitchen I realize I no longer have to put half empty glasses in the sink because if I don't he will knock them over. On the screened-in porch his footprints are everywhere......In the spare room there is still a little 'nest' in my pile of dirty clothes that I need to wash; his last resting place. I am utterly, woefully, inconsolable. This was unexpected, he was only 10! We always thought that he would live a long, long time because he was so energetic and large and lean and healthy. I ache, I ache, I ache. I can't get away from it. This is too painful, much too painful.
I struggle to believe in god, I always have and yet, if I don't think that his spirit lives on somewhere in the universe then I'll go nuts. I feel like there is a huge hole in my heart right now that I can't plug. I miss him terribly and the worst part is, I know it will go on for a long time, that the only way it will heal is through time and that is something that I can hardly stand.
so, I would welcome any words of encouragement or support, any words of wisdom, any advice you have for getting through this. I didn't want to go to bed last night because that was our special time. Every night he would race me upstairs to bed and then curl up under my arm......although, interestingly enough, last night Otis (our other cat) came in and curled up under my arm! He didn't stay very long, but it was almost like he knew I needed him. 2 years ago we had to put another cat to sleep (cancer), my beloved and favorite pet, Jet-boy: the Most Exquisite, Cute and Perfect Cat. That nearly killed me. He was 16 years old. I was just beginning to be able to think about him without becoming totally depressed and now Elliott is gone. It wasn't supposed to happen so soon....I'm not ready. I still need him. He didn't have a long enough life.
I'm so very, very sad.....
Thank you for listening,
Mikki
Dearest Mikki, I am so sorry your pain is this devastating and I want so much to reach out to you and give you a big hug! You see, I was never blessed with human children. My fur and feather kids are my family. They mean more to me than words can express.
I'd like to try to at least begin to help you a a little by letting you know you're not alone and that the gosh awful pain due to the loss of a fur kid or feather kid can and many times is just as devastating if not more than losing a loved one. Even if that human loved one is a best friend, spouse, mom, dad or even a sibling. I've put information about that in the "Pet Loss Support Resources and Articles" forum but will give you a direct link to take you there. Please click Here. Please read at least some of it. You are not alone. We understand, care so much and want to be here for you.
My deepest condolences on your loss and what must be just about the most gosh awful time in your life, Dear One.
Winging Many Angels and Hugs to You For Comfort, Love, Hope and Peace!!!
Always,
Dottie xoxoxox
PS. When you talk about your baby splashing around in your toilet, it reminds me so much of one of my fur babies many, many years ago. However, I am glad he never learned to flush the toilet. I find just a tad bit of humor helps give some glimmer of comfort at times like this, so if you care to see and hear just click Here: Gizmo Flushes And no, that's not my fur kid. More Hugs!!!
Whatever helps you is the right thing to do. Don't feel as though you have to rush to do the old regular routines. Do what you are comfortable doing. This is the horrible time for pain. I know what you mean about age 10..my Little Guy's twin brother, Keeper, we had to let go in 2002 and he was 10 at the time...it all happened in a week's time..we didn't know he had a cancer mass filling up his chest...he hid it all so well..acting normal. My Little Guy just had to go last September after reaching 16 the previous May of that year. No matter what the age...it truly is never long enough.
I did capture cat fur from the cat brushes and keep it in a ziplock bag. It feels as soft as it did when I first put it there. It feels alive..not dried out and there is something about knowing it belonged to them that means a lot.
At first, you may want to cry a lot...I did and I did cry a lot. I gave in at the time but as the days went on..I realized it didn't make me feel better..but if I felt like doing it...I would again. Yes, it takes time to heal. You have been through it with Jet-boy..so you know and remember. It may have helped having Elliott there with you. It helped me to have one still left as I lost one but last September I lost my last one and that was very different...I couldn't take the empty house and my boy left in September 2007. I hated the holidays that year and finally the day after Christmas I wound up adopting a shelter boy who looked like my twin boys. That's what helped me...my home was not empty anymore. But it is something we all work through and one day we will ask ourselves..what do we really want...what would make us feel better (and we know it is impossible to get our babies back).....that was the time, in December, that I decided I wanted to come home and hear that meow again. It was not my boy and will never be either of my boys or their sister...but my new one looks like them and I find a sense of inner peace seeing him stretched out sleeping or playing or whatever.....just being there without pain and suffering.
Do what you need to do to get through each day. You can post here your thoughts and feelings.
You can write Elliott a note here about anything you want to say to him. Maybe you will tell some stories about life with him...like some you just did...and maybe find a photo so we can see your sweet boy. We love pictures because they are memories of happy healthy times.
Many here can relate to having no children so these special ones are truly our "children".
Here all do understand exactly how you are feeling and we all share the same pain. We
know that pain all too well and we do what we can to cope with it. Posting helps..it really does.
And your babies now being Angels are watching over you and are listening to whatever you say to them...and know too, many here are also listening...waiting to help as best we can.
Hugs.....
It is the worst of times right now. We are here with you. You are not alone.
Judy
I did capture cat fur from the cat brushes and keep it in a ziplock bag. It feels as soft as it did when I first put it there. It feels alive..not dried out and there is something about knowing it belonged to them that means a lot.
At first, you may want to cry a lot...I did and I did cry a lot. I gave in at the time but as the days went on..I realized it didn't make me feel better..but if I felt like doing it...I would again. Yes, it takes time to heal. You have been through it with Jet-boy..so you know and remember. It may have helped having Elliott there with you. It helped me to have one still left as I lost one but last September I lost my last one and that was very different...I couldn't take the empty house and my boy left in September 2007. I hated the holidays that year and finally the day after Christmas I wound up adopting a shelter boy who looked like my twin boys. That's what helped me...my home was not empty anymore. But it is something we all work through and one day we will ask ourselves..what do we really want...what would make us feel better (and we know it is impossible to get our babies back).....that was the time, in December, that I decided I wanted to come home and hear that meow again. It was not my boy and will never be either of my boys or their sister...but my new one looks like them and I find a sense of inner peace seeing him stretched out sleeping or playing or whatever.....just being there without pain and suffering.
Do what you need to do to get through each day. You can post here your thoughts and feelings.
You can write Elliott a note here about anything you want to say to him. Maybe you will tell some stories about life with him...like some you just did...and maybe find a photo so we can see your sweet boy. We love pictures because they are memories of happy healthy times.
Many here can relate to having no children so these special ones are truly our "children".
Here all do understand exactly how you are feeling and we all share the same pain. We
know that pain all too well and we do what we can to cope with it. Posting helps..it really does.
And your babies now being Angels are watching over you and are listening to whatever you say to them...and know too, many here are also listening...waiting to help as best we can.
Hugs.....
It is the worst of times right now. We are here with you. You are not alone.
Judy
QUOTE (LoveThem @ Sep 14 2008, 06:49 PM)
Whatever helps you is the right thing to do. Don't feel as though you have to rush to do the old regular routines. Do what you are comfortable doing. This is the horrible time for pain. I know what you mean about age 10..my Little Guy's twin brother, Keeper, we had to let go in 2002 and he was 10 at the time...it all happened in a week's time..we didn't know he had a cancer mass filling up his chest...he hid it all so well..acting normal. My Little Guy just had to go last September after reaching 16 the previous May of that year. No matter what the age...it truly is never long enough.
I did capture cat fur from the cat brushes and keep it in a ziplock bag. It feels as soft as it did when I first put it there. It feels alive..not dried out and there is something about knowing it belonged to them that means a lot.
At first, you may want to cry a lot...I did and I did cry a lot. I gave in at the time but as the days went on..I realized it didn't make me feel better..but if I felt like doing it...I would again. Yes, it takes time to heal. You have been through it with Jet-boy..so you know and remember. It may have helped having Elliott there with you. It helped me to have one still left as I lost one but last September I lost my last one and that was very different...I couldn't take the empty house and my boy left in September 2007. I hated the holidays that year and finally the day after Christmas I wound up adopting a shelter boy who looked like my twin boys. That's what helped me...my home was not empty anymore. But it is something we all work through and one day we will ask ourselves..what do we really want...what would make us feel better (and we know it is impossible to get our babies back).....that was the time, in December, that I decided I wanted to come home and hear that meow again. It was not my boy and will never be either of my boys or their sister...but my new one looks like them and I find a sense of inner peace seeing him stretched out sleeping or playing or whatever.....just being there without pain and suffering.
Do what you need to do to get through each day. You can post here your thoughts and feelings.
You can write Elliott a note here about anything you want to say to him. Maybe you will tell some stories about life with him...like some you just did...and maybe find a photo so we can see your sweet boy. We love pictures because they are memories of happy healthy times.
Many here can relate to having no children so these special ones are truly our "children".
Here all do understand exactly how you are feeling and we all share the same pain. We
know that pain all too well and we do what we can to cope with it. Posting helps..it really does.
And your babies now being Angels are watching over you and are listening to whatever you say to them...and know too, many here are also listening...waiting to help as best we can.
Hugs.....
It is the worst of times right now. We are here with you. You are not alone.
Judy
I did capture cat fur from the cat brushes and keep it in a ziplock bag. It feels as soft as it did when I first put it there. It feels alive..not dried out and there is something about knowing it belonged to them that means a lot.
At first, you may want to cry a lot...I did and I did cry a lot. I gave in at the time but as the days went on..I realized it didn't make me feel better..but if I felt like doing it...I would again. Yes, it takes time to heal. You have been through it with Jet-boy..so you know and remember. It may have helped having Elliott there with you. It helped me to have one still left as I lost one but last September I lost my last one and that was very different...I couldn't take the empty house and my boy left in September 2007. I hated the holidays that year and finally the day after Christmas I wound up adopting a shelter boy who looked like my twin boys. That's what helped me...my home was not empty anymore. But it is something we all work through and one day we will ask ourselves..what do we really want...what would make us feel better (and we know it is impossible to get our babies back).....that was the time, in December, that I decided I wanted to come home and hear that meow again. It was not my boy and will never be either of my boys or their sister...but my new one looks like them and I find a sense of inner peace seeing him stretched out sleeping or playing or whatever.....just being there without pain and suffering.
Do what you need to do to get through each day. You can post here your thoughts and feelings.
You can write Elliott a note here about anything you want to say to him. Maybe you will tell some stories about life with him...like some you just did...and maybe find a photo so we can see your sweet boy. We love pictures because they are memories of happy healthy times.
Many here can relate to having no children so these special ones are truly our "children".
Here all do understand exactly how you are feeling and we all share the same pain. We
know that pain all too well and we do what we can to cope with it. Posting helps..it really does.
And your babies now being Angels are watching over you and are listening to whatever you say to them...and know too, many here are also listening...waiting to help as best we can.
Hugs.....
It is the worst of times right now. We are here with you. You are not alone.
Judy
I am so deeply sorry you lost your precious Elliot..Everyone is right when they say they are never here with us long enough. You said he was only 10. I envied that so much. I lost my guy a 2 1/2. It's been 4mo now, sometimes it seems so long ago and others like it was yesterday. Believe me when I tell you I have cried every day since the day I lost him. My heart goes out to you, I know exactly how you feel. Everywhere I look in the house and yard, I see him. It's been so many years since I went thru this and I thought I was prepairing myself for an easier time with this one, so not true. Collect some of his toys, pick up any fur you might find, take pictures of those paw prints ( I wish I had some of those) make a memory box or photo album. It hurts, but when the pain eases you'll remember him happily. I wish in my heart I could offer you more, it's just that I STILL feel everything you are just now experiencing. I hope you heal quickly..Post a pict when you feel up to it.. Hugs.. Ann
So sorry you have to feel the same way as us for the loss of Sweet Elliott and for that am deeply sorry, I know there are no words to make feel better but please you can come to us and talk as much as you want and need 'cause I know it helps a lot to get it out of our chests, believe me I know that well and I am glad that I was able to find this site to at least talk about it and they listen they do and as much as you want and need. again so sorry, God Bless you, your family and most of all Sweet Elliott up in Heaven, always here, Jorge Click to view attachment
Click to view attachment
QUOTE (AngelCareOne @ Sep 14 2008, 06:29 PM)
Dearest Mikki, I am so sorry your pain is this devastating and I want so much to reach out to you and give you a big hug! You see, I was never blessed with human children. My fur and feather kids are my family. They mean more to me than words can express.
I'd like to try to at least begin to help you a a little by letting you know you're not alone and that the gosh awful pain due to the loss of a fur kid or feather kid can and many times is just as devastating if not more than losing a loved one. Even if that human loved one is a best friend, spouse, mom, dad or even a sibling. I've put information about that in the "Pet Loss Support Resources and Articles" forum but will give you a direct link to take you there. Please click Here. Please read at least some of it. You are not alone. We understand, care so much and want to be here for you.
My deepest condolences on your loss and what must be just about the most gosh awful time in your life, Dear One.
Winging Many Angels and Hugs to You For Comfort, Love, Hope and Peace!!!
Always,
Dottie xoxoxox
PS. When you talk about your baby splashing around in your toilet, it reminds me so much of one of my fur babies many, many years ago. However, I am glad he never learned to flush the toilet. I find just a tad bit of humor helps give some glimmer of comfort at times like this, so if you care to see and hear just click Here: Gizmo Flushes And no, that's not my fur kid. More Hugs!!!
jI'd like to try to at least begin to help you a a little by letting you know you're not alone and that the gosh awful pain due to the loss of a fur kid or feather kid can and many times is just as devastating if not more than losing a loved one. Even if that human loved one is a best friend, spouse, mom, dad or even a sibling. I've put information about that in the "Pet Loss Support Resources and Articles" forum but will give you a direct link to take you there. Please click Here. Please read at least some of it. You are not alone. We understand, care so much and want to be here for you.
My deepest condolences on your loss and what must be just about the most gosh awful time in your life, Dear One.
Winging Many Angels and Hugs to You For Comfort, Love, Hope and Peace!!!
Always,
Dottie xoxoxox
PS. When you talk about your baby splashing around in your toilet, it reminds me so much of one of my fur babies many, many years ago. However, I am glad he never learned to flush the toilet. I find just a tad bit of humor helps give some glimmer of comfort at times like this, so if you care to see and hear just click Here: Gizmo Flushes And no, that's not my fur kid. More Hugs!!!
Thank you for the kind words and the link, Dottie---I read all of it and it really helped. Right now the hardest thing is to keep moving forward, I have to keep doing my life even though I would much rather stay in bed with the covers pulled over my head. Gizmo flushing was great---Elliott didn't flush the toilet, but he loved to go in and splash around in it. He did get to be pretty good at opening doors by rolling the door knob back and forth between his paws until the door unlocked. Clever boy! I miss him terribly.......
QUOTE (Omarmommy @ Sep 14 2008, 06:08 PM)
Mikki-Let me first say I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss of Elliott. You have come to the right place. This site was a lifesaver when I lost my 14 yr old furbaby dog Omar. It is coming up on 6 weeks now. I can't believe it's been that long. I can honestly say that the 'heart wrenching pain' is almost gone, but the sadness and the tears are not. It's funny how the things that used to bug us about our furbabies are now the things we would so love to have. I miss the balls of fur he would leave behind when he got up from his favorite spots. I miss the dog fur that would find it's way to my food. I miss kicking his water bowl, of course right when I filled it. I miss being late for something, but that was his favorite time he wanted to wander the back yard and not 'hear' me. I know I can get another furbaby. I don't want another furbaby right now. I miss my Omar so much. So come here to talk about your Elliott kitty as much as you need to. We love to hear stories. Hang in there. Time is what works. Even though the beginning time SUCKS, it does get better...little by little.
Hugs,
Marcie
Hugs,
Marcie
Thank you Marcie! I love that you signed off with 'hugs' and I think I actually felt it......I have always maintained that whenever one of our pets leave us, that it opens up another place in our home for another unwanted pet. So, I think eventually we will fill that space with another interesting, unique and special feline but right now I can't even conceive of it......14 years old is a nice long life for a dog! I feel your pain, and understand how precious his little fur balls have become now that he is no longer there. I so hope that we get to see our special fur friends again someday when we pass on.....I need to beleive in that. Anyway, thank you so very much for writing back.
With care,
Mikki
QUOTE (havana @ Sep 15 2008, 09:48 AM)
So sorry you have to feel the same way as us for the loss of Sweet Elliott and for that am deeply sorry, I know there are no words to make feel better but please you can come to us and talk as much as you want and need 'cause I know it helps a lot to get it out of our chests, believe me I know that well and I am glad that I was able to find this site to at least talk about it and they listen they do and as much as you want and need. again so sorry, God Bless you, your family and most of all Sweet Elliott up in Heaven, always here, Jorge Click to view attachment
Click to view attachmentThank you Jorge for your kind words---do you have kitty cats, also? I like to think of Elliott in heaven so thank you for putting that image in my mind. I really need it right now.
xoxoxo,
Mikki
QUOTE (Mikki @ Sep 15 2008, 12:12 PM)
Right now the hardest thing is to keep moving forward, I have to keep doing my life even though I would much rather stay in bed with the covers pulled over my head.
Boy do I relate - I have a home based business and I just don't care about anything right now, including money, although I am doing the minimal things required. Just keep thinking I would rather do without than make the efforts needed to work towards new projects. I think it could be easier if I had a methodical type job.
These difficult times make me question the purpose of life. Sometimes, especially when the joys of life are superseded by a series of painful events, it gets hard to see a positive perspective.
That's not much encouragement, I know, but it's what I'm going thru also..
Jan.
Mikki, I can totally relate to you. I was looking at your post, and thinking, wow.... this is something I could have wrote. I have gone through many of the same feelings. My cat Ren died on a Thursday (this was only a month 1/2 after losing my other cat Zorro to cancer). That Saturday night, I went to bed and CRIED and CRIED and cried, I just had to know he was OK, that I would see my beloved babies again. I went through every possible scenario, and I decided, too- I just couldn't stand it if he wasn't in the spirit world. I just wanted a sign, a sign, it was just a heart wrenching feeling.
Strange thing is, that Thursday (a week anniversary of his death), I got my sign. I posted it under the title "Strange Occurences". I keep thinking back to the things that happened that night. I don't think I even posted everything that happened that night, but I am just convinced my Ren and Zorro came back to visit us that night.
Take care and I know what you mean about missing them. My mind keeps flashing back to things they would do.
Hugs
Ren, Zorro, and Nemo's Mommy
Strange thing is, that Thursday (a week anniversary of his death), I got my sign. I posted it under the title "Strange Occurences". I keep thinking back to the things that happened that night. I don't think I even posted everything that happened that night, but I am just convinced my Ren and Zorro came back to visit us that night.
Take care and I know what you mean about missing them. My mind keeps flashing back to things they would do.
Hugs
Ren, Zorro, and Nemo's Mommy
QUOTE (Nemo's Mommy @ Sep 15 2008, 06:31 PM)
Mikki, I can totally relate to you. I was looking at your post, and thinking, wow.... this is something I could have wrote. I have gone through many of the same feelings. My cat Ren died on a Thursday (this was only a month 1/2 after losing my other cat Zorro to cancer). That Saturday night, I went to bed and CRIED and CRIED and cried, I just had to know he was OK, that I would see my beloved babies again. I went through every possible scenario, and I decided, too- I just couldn't stand it if he wasn't in the spirit world. I just wanted a sign, a sign, it was just a heart wrenching feeling.
Strange thing is, that Thursday (a week anniversary of his death), I got my sign. I posted it under the title "Strange Occurences". I keep thinking back to the things that happened that night. I don't think I even posted everything that happened that night, but I am just convinced my Ren and Zorro came back to visit us that night.
Take care and I know what you mean about missing them. My mind keeps flashing back to things they would do.
Hugs
Ren, Zorro, and Nemo's Mommy
Strange thing is, that Thursday (a week anniversary of his death), I got my sign. I posted it under the title "Strange Occurences". I keep thinking back to the things that happened that night. I don't think I even posted everything that happened that night, but I am just convinced my Ren and Zorro came back to visit us that night.
Take care and I know what you mean about missing them. My mind keeps flashing back to things they would do.
Hugs
Ren, Zorro, and Nemo's Mommy
Thanks so much for your kind words--I will go look under 'strange occurances'. I also had a 'sign' when Jet died 2 years ago. It's a long story, but I also felt that he was near me. Thanks again for your support.
QUOTE (Zita'sMom @ Sep 15 2008, 01:32 PM)
Boy do I relate - I have a home based business and I just don't care about anything right now, including money, although I am doing the minimal things required. Just keep thinking I would rather do without than make the efforts needed to work towards new projects. I think it could be easier if I had a methodical type job.
These difficult times make me question the purpose of life. Sometimes, especially when the joys of life are superseded by a series of painful events, it gets hard to see a positive perspective.
That's not much encouragement, I know, but it's what I'm going thru also..
Jan.
These difficult times make me question the purpose of life. Sometimes, especially when the joys of life are superseded by a series of painful events, it gets hard to see a positive perspective.
That's not much encouragement, I know, but it's what I'm going thru also..
Jan.
Oh, I so get that. There must be some kind of underlying purpose or meaning to all of this or I simply can't go on. I've been in a two-year slump and have lost some of my positive outlook, some of my sense of purpose. It's hard to bounce back from a loss like ours without some kind of 'faith' that there is some kind of divine reason for such suffering.....and yet in the great scheme of things, much of my life is really just great, it could be so much worse. What's hard for me right now is just being in my house at all. Fortunately I have 2 dogs, 2 birds and another cat to keep me somewhat occupied so that helps....but then, Elliott was his own unique character......anyway, thank you for writing and I hope you are felling better soon, too.
QUOTE (Omarmommy @ Sep 14 2008, 06:08 PM)
Mikki-Let me first say I'm so very sorry to hear about your loss of Elliott. You have come to the right place. This site was a lifesaver when I lost my 14 yr old furbaby dog Omar. It is coming up on 6 weeks now. I can't believe it's been that long. I can honestly say that the 'heart wrenching pain' is almost gone, but the sadness and the tears are not. It's funny how the things that used to bug us about our furbabies are now the things we would so love to have. I miss the balls of fur he would leave behind when he got up from his favorite spots. I miss the dog fur that would find it's way to my food. I miss kicking his water bowl, of course right when I filled it. I miss being late for something, but that was his favorite time he wanted to wander the back yard and not 'hear' me. I know I can get another furbaby. I don't want another furbaby right now. I miss my Omar so much. So come here to talk about your Elliott kitty as much as you need to. We love to hear stories. Hang in there. Time is what works. Even though the beginning time SUCKS, it does get better...little by little.
Hugs,
Marcie
Hugs,
Marcie
Hi Marcie (I love the name Marcie. If my husband and I had had a little girl that would have been one of my choices for names!),
Thanks so much for the encouragement. I am sorry about Omar. 14 years is a good long life for a dog, but that doens't make it any easier does it? When you love an animal (or a person) so intensely, so unconditionally it is just gut wrenching and miserable when it's time for them to go. It makes me want to never love another animal just to avoid the pain, but then life would be very empty. I can't imagine coming home to an empty house. Do you have other critters to help soothe you? We have 2 dogs, 2 birds and another cat, all of whom we love dearly. It really helps I think. Thanks for writing,
Mikki
QUOTE (LoveThem @ Sep 14 2008, 06:49 PM)
Whatever helps you is the right thing to do. Don't feel as though you have to rush to do the old regular routines. Do what you are comfortable doing. This is the horrible time for pain. I know what you mean about age 10..my Little Guy's twin brother, Keeper, we had to let go in 2002 and he was 10 at the time...it all happened in a week's time..we didn't know he had a cancer mass filling up his chest...he hid it all so well..acting normal. My Little Guy just had to go last September after reaching 16 the previous May of that year. No matter what the age...it truly is never long enough.
I did capture cat fur from the cat brushes and keep it in a ziplock bag. It feels as soft as it did when I first put it there. It feels alive..not dried out and there is something about knowing it belonged to them that means a lot.
At first, you may want to cry a lot...I did and I did cry a lot. I gave in at the time but as the days went on..I realized it didn't make me feel better..but if I felt like doing it...I would again. Yes, it takes time to heal. You have been through it with Jet-boy..so you know and remember. It may have helped having Elliott there with you. It helped me to have one still left as I lost one but last September I lost my last one and that was very different...I couldn't take the empty house and my boy left in September 2007. I hated the holidays that year and finally the day after Christmas I wound up adopting a shelter boy who looked like my twin boys. That's what helped me...my home was not empty anymore. But it is something we all work through and one day we will ask ourselves..what do we really want...what would make us feel better (and we know it is impossible to get our babies back).....that was the time, in December, that I decided I wanted to come home and hear that meow again. It was not my boy and will never be either of my boys or their sister...but my new one looks like them and I find a sense of inner peace seeing him stretched out sleeping or playing or whatever.....just being there without pain and suffering.
Do what you need to do to get through each day. You can post here your thoughts and feelings.
You can write Elliott a note here about anything you want to say to him. Maybe you will tell some stories about life with him...like some you just did...and maybe find a photo so we can see your sweet boy. We love pictures because they are memories of happy healthy times.
Many here can relate to having no children so these special ones are truly our "children".
Here all do understand exactly how you are feeling and we all share the same pain. We
know that pain all too well and we do what we can to cope with it. Posting helps..it really does.
And your babies now being Angels are watching over you and are listening to whatever you say to them...and know too, many here are also listening...waiting to help as best we can.
Hugs.....
It is the worst of times right now. We are here with you. You are not alone.
Judy
I did capture cat fur from the cat brushes and keep it in a ziplock bag. It feels as soft as it did when I first put it there. It feels alive..not dried out and there is something about knowing it belonged to them that means a lot.
At first, you may want to cry a lot...I did and I did cry a lot. I gave in at the time but as the days went on..I realized it didn't make me feel better..but if I felt like doing it...I would again. Yes, it takes time to heal. You have been through it with Jet-boy..so you know and remember. It may have helped having Elliott there with you. It helped me to have one still left as I lost one but last September I lost my last one and that was very different...I couldn't take the empty house and my boy left in September 2007. I hated the holidays that year and finally the day after Christmas I wound up adopting a shelter boy who looked like my twin boys. That's what helped me...my home was not empty anymore. But it is something we all work through and one day we will ask ourselves..what do we really want...what would make us feel better (and we know it is impossible to get our babies back).....that was the time, in December, that I decided I wanted to come home and hear that meow again. It was not my boy and will never be either of my boys or their sister...but my new one looks like them and I find a sense of inner peace seeing him stretched out sleeping or playing or whatever.....just being there without pain and suffering.
Do what you need to do to get through each day. You can post here your thoughts and feelings.
You can write Elliott a note here about anything you want to say to him. Maybe you will tell some stories about life with him...like some you just did...and maybe find a photo so we can see your sweet boy. We love pictures because they are memories of happy healthy times.
Many here can relate to having no children so these special ones are truly our "children".
Here all do understand exactly how you are feeling and we all share the same pain. We
know that pain all too well and we do what we can to cope with it. Posting helps..it really does.
And your babies now being Angels are watching over you and are listening to whatever you say to them...and know too, many here are also listening...waiting to help as best we can.
Hugs.....
It is the worst of times right now. We are here with you. You are not alone.
Judy
I love the idea of keeping the cat's fur in a ziploc back---what a beautiful way to comfort yourself! I have a feather from when our bird, Lucy died and I have a whisker from both Jet and Elliott. It's such a wierd thing but it comforts me. The thing that is so tough about this is that I am only just now able to move past losing Jet (over 2 years ago!), and now Elliott goes. I've lost 3 cats to cancer which just caught me off guard. They were all strictly indoor cats, we gave them the best food and kept them up to date on shots. I really beleived that they would live a long time, to at least 20. Not 8 years, 10 years or 16 years. funny thing is my husband and I both thought that Elliot would last the longest, he was so healthy and mischievious and energetic. It just doens't seem right that they have all died of cancer. It does really help to have the other animals in the house. Right now I have our two dogs, Fletcher and Speck laying at my side while I write. It helps. And so did your response, so I thank you very much for that.
With care,
Mikki
QUOTE (Mikki @ Sep 15 2008, 07:10 PM)
Oh, I so get that. There must be some kind of underlying purpose or meaning to all of this or I simply can't go on. I've been in a two-year slump and have lost some of my positive outlook, some of my sense of purpose. It's hard to bounce back from a loss like ours without some kind of 'faith' that there is some kind of divine reason for such suffering.....and yet in the great scheme of things, much of my life is really just great, it could be so much worse. What's hard for me right now is just being in my house at all. Fortunately I have 2 dogs, 2 birds and another cat to keep me somewhat occupied so that helps....but then, Elliott was his own unique character......anyway, thank you for writing and I hope you are felling better soon, too.
I kind of think that disease and body failure type causes of death go in the "meant to be" sort of category - like we all have an exit plan at some point and when the body fails naturally maybe it is part of the divine plan. My cat Missy died of liver cancer at age 12. It was shocking to me also because she had been such a healthy cat. I do wonder in her case, now knowing about some of the poisonous stuff in pet foods if that could have been partly the cause, but she had a rich, full life, and it was just hard to watch her fade away. My dog Merlin died at age 17 and I finally chose to euthanize because he was so distressed and uncomfortable. He was my "soul mate" of dogs but I was able to grieve and accept his loss because his body just couldn't go on, and also I feel like he remains my soul mate even now.
My Zita (the cat I lost in Oct last year) went missing in the night, (we think, we didn't see her after she ate her dinner). That was really hard because there was no goodbye and no body. With Ziggy, this is equally hard - taken by human hands - shot - and not saved because of a vet's error in judgement. Oh this one is really hard. Sometimes I think we just have a breaking point, and I feel I'm at mine. I don't feel thoughts of suicide or anything like that - just a sense of why bother - purposelessness. I just feel no joy. Zita was my healing kitty, Ziggy was my "sound healing" kitty - with a singing purr, she sounded like a bird or a frog, it's hard to describe. She made everyone laugh with this wonderful sound. She was so happy living with us and so appreciative - not a common trait for cats really! What a sweet little soul and to suffer at the hands of a broken person who "entertained" him/herself by watching her fight for her life - so sick, and so hard to accept that this is part of human reality.
I know I am a sensitive person - maybe too sensitive. But this is one I can't just shrug off and say, oh well, it happens... Life is impermanent, I do know that. And maybe acceptance of that is part of the healing process.
Jan.
QUOTE (Zita'sMom @ Sep 15 2008, 11:10 PM)
I kind of think that disease and body failure type causes of death go in the "meant to be" sort of category - like we all have an exit plan at some point and when the body fails naturally maybe it is part of the divine plan. My cat Missy died of liver cancer at age 12. It was shocking to me also because she had been such a healthy cat. I do wonder in her case, now knowing about some of the poisonous stuff in pet foods if that could have been partly the cause, but she had a rich, full life, and it was just hard to watch her fade away. My dog Merlin died at age 17 and I finally chose to euthanize because he was so distressed and uncomfortable. He was my "soul mate" of dogs but I was able to grieve and accept his loss because his body just couldn't go on, and also I feel like he remains my soul mate even now.
My Zita (the cat I lost in Oct last year) went missing in the night, (we think, we didn't see her after she ate her dinner). That was really hard because there was no goodbye and no body. With Ziggy, this is equally hard - taken by human hands - shot - and not saved because of a vet's error in judgement. Oh this one is really hard. Sometimes I think we just have a breaking point, and I feel I'm at mine. I don't feel thoughts of suicide or anything like that - just a sense of why bother - purposelessness. I just feel no joy. Zita was my healing kitty, Ziggy was my "sound healing" kitty - with a singing purr, she sounded like a bird or a frog, it's hard to describe. She made everyone laugh with this wonderful sound. She was so happy living with us and so appreciative - not a common trait for cats really! What a sweet little soul and to suffer at the hands of a broken person who "entertained" him/herself by watching her fight for her life - so sick, and so hard to accept that this is part of human reality.
I know I am a sensitive person - maybe too sensitive. But this is one I can't just shrug off and say, oh well, it happens... Life is impermanent, I do know that. And maybe acceptance of that is part of the healing process.
Jan.
Oh Jan, that is so heartwrenching that your kitty died because of human evil. That is one of the primary reasons that my cats are strictly indoor cats; there are just too many hateful people in the world and I can't bear the thought of someone else hurting them. I had a dog as a child that disappeared and it haunted me for years and years. We did not have a fenced in yard and we just let the dogs out to run....it was fourth of July and we left for a picnic and she got out and we think she just got so spooked that she ran and ran. Now I have a large fenced in yard and we keep close watch on our dogs. The pain of not knowing I think is worse than watching them fade due to illness.....although losing them for any reason is awful......I don't know if it's 'too soon' for you or not, but in the past I have found that the best thing for me to do (when I'm ready) is to adopt another animal (or two!) from a shelter. It does my heart good to know that I have saved another animal from being put to sleep. It also helps me to think that, now that my beloved [Arliss, Jet, Lucy, Elliott] is gone there is a place in my home for a new animal. It's amazing how good that feels. I'm not ready to do that right now, but I know I will at some point. I like to think that my pets leave in order to make room in our home for another needy animal. Think about it.
"to ease another's heartache is to soothe one's own"
my heart goes out to you,
Mikki
My Zita (the cat I lost in Oct last year) went missing in the night, (we think, we didn't see her after she ate her dinner). That was really hard because there was no goodbye and no body. With Ziggy, this is equally hard - taken by human hands - shot - and not saved because of a vet's error in judgement. Oh this one is really hard. Sometimes I think we just have a breaking point, and I feel I'm at mine. I don't feel thoughts of suicide or anything like that - just a sense of why bother - purposelessness. I just feel no joy. Zita was my healing kitty, Ziggy was my "sound healing" kitty - with a singing purr, she sounded like a bird or a frog, it's hard to describe. She made everyone laugh with this wonderful sound. She was so happy living with us and so appreciative - not a common trait for cats really! What a sweet little soul and to suffer at the hands of a broken person who "entertained" him/herself by watching her fight for her life - so sick, and so hard to accept that this is part of human reality.
I know I am a sensitive person - maybe too sensitive. But this is one I can't just shrug off and say, oh well, it happens... Life is impermanent, I do know that. And maybe acceptance of that is part of the healing process.
Jan.
Oh Jan, that is so heartwrenching that your kitty died because of human evil. That is one of the primary reasons that my cats are strictly indoor cats; there are just too many hateful people in the world and I can't bear the thought of someone else hurting them. I had a dog as a child that disappeared and it haunted me for years and years. We did not have a fenced in yard and we just let the dogs out to run....it was fourth of July and we left for a picnic and she got out and we think she just got so spooked that she ran and ran. Now I have a large fenced in yard and we keep close watch on our dogs. The pain of not knowing I think is worse than watching them fade due to illness.....although losing them for any reason is awful......I don't know if it's 'too soon' for you or not, but in the past I have found that the best thing for me to do (when I'm ready) is to adopt another animal (or two!) from a shelter. It does my heart good to know that I have saved another animal from being put to sleep. It also helps me to think that, now that my beloved [Arliss, Jet, Lucy, Elliott] is gone there is a place in my home for a new animal. It's amazing how good that feels. I'm not ready to do that right now, but I know I will at some point. I like to think that my pets leave in order to make room in our home for another needy animal. Think about it.
"to ease another's heartache is to soothe one's own"
my heart goes out to you,
Mikki
Hi, Mikki
Thank you for stopping by my topic about my Little Guy. I did answer your post there today.
I hope you are doing better but I know how hard everything is. I hope my suggestions about things you mentioned helped.
Keep posting here your thoughts and feelings. It really helps to get things out. I know you said about going back to work...that probably helped in getting you out of the house but then did not help when you came home. We here know exactly how you feel.
When you have a very special one like Elliott....the pain takes longer to become less intense.
It all takes time. It is hard to get through the days but I am glad you have others at home to help you although I know Elliott was his own special boy and can not be replaced but in time you will find it won't hurt to remember the happy things he did and also be able to look at a picture of him and instead of the hurt...your mind will remember the time when it was taken and how he just felt so good then and you can see it in his eyes in the picture. Their eyes never lie.
Hugs to you and your new Angel, Elliott.....a boy who is a part of you and will be forever.
Judy
Thank you for stopping by my topic about my Little Guy. I did answer your post there today.
I hope you are doing better but I know how hard everything is. I hope my suggestions about things you mentioned helped.
Keep posting here your thoughts and feelings. It really helps to get things out. I know you said about going back to work...that probably helped in getting you out of the house but then did not help when you came home. We here know exactly how you feel.
When you have a very special one like Elliott....the pain takes longer to become less intense.
It all takes time. It is hard to get through the days but I am glad you have others at home to help you although I know Elliott was his own special boy and can not be replaced but in time you will find it won't hurt to remember the happy things he did and also be able to look at a picture of him and instead of the hurt...your mind will remember the time when it was taken and how he just felt so good then and you can see it in his eyes in the picture. Their eyes never lie.
Hugs to you and your new Angel, Elliott.....a boy who is a part of you and will be forever.
Judy
Mikki - thanks for letting me "cry" on your topic! I am far from at peace with what has happened just yet.
I do think adopting another cat can be excellent therapy. Ziggy was my helper cat to help me grieve Zita - this is part of what makes it so difficult to now have lost her.
But beyond that, with 5 dogs and all the comings and goings here it is really hard to keep a cat locked in. We have lost 3 young cats since March 2006 and that seems very bad odds for cats here. (All for different reasons, but all the same...) What's so strange is that this is a quiet rural place which I thought totally safe. It's turned out to be my worst nightmare living here.
I think I would have to move before adopting another. If it was practical to keep it indoors I would consider it, but as I said, someone here always is leaving the door open and unless I kept the cat locked in one room (which I don't think would be fair) I don't see adopting another while living here. The only exception would be to build a cat house, but with other personal stresses and pressures I don't think that would be possible at this point.
I do think for you Mikki - adopting another, when you are ready, would give your loss of Elliot some feeling of purpose - giving a wonderful home to another special cat ....
thanks so much for your empathy Mikki
Someday we will both see our Jets, Elliots, Ziggys and Zitas - I do look forward to that day. And I hope for a strong sign that my Ziggy and Zita are both well and thriving, and the same for you with your Elliot.
take care
Jan.
I do think adopting another cat can be excellent therapy. Ziggy was my helper cat to help me grieve Zita - this is part of what makes it so difficult to now have lost her.
But beyond that, with 5 dogs and all the comings and goings here it is really hard to keep a cat locked in. We have lost 3 young cats since March 2006 and that seems very bad odds for cats here. (All for different reasons, but all the same...) What's so strange is that this is a quiet rural place which I thought totally safe. It's turned out to be my worst nightmare living here.
I think I would have to move before adopting another. If it was practical to keep it indoors I would consider it, but as I said, someone here always is leaving the door open and unless I kept the cat locked in one room (which I don't think would be fair) I don't see adopting another while living here. The only exception would be to build a cat house, but with other personal stresses and pressures I don't think that would be possible at this point.
I do think for you Mikki - adopting another, when you are ready, would give your loss of Elliot some feeling of purpose - giving a wonderful home to another special cat ....
thanks so much for your empathy Mikki
Someday we will both see our Jets, Elliots, Ziggys and Zitas - I do look forward to that day. And I hope for a strong sign that my Ziggy and Zita are both well and thriving, and the same for you with your Elliot.
take care
Jan.
QUOTE
Oh Jan, that is so heartwrenching that your kitty died because of human evil. That is one of the primary reasons that my cats are strictly indoor cats; there are just too many hateful people in the world and I can't bear the thought of someone else hurting them. I had a dog as a child that disappeared and it haunted me for years and years. We did not have a fenced in yard and we just let the dogs out to run....it was fourth of July and we left for a picnic and she got out and we think she just got so spooked that she ran and ran. Now I have a large fenced in yard and we keep close watch on our dogs. The pain of not knowing I think is worse than watching them fade due to illness.....although losing them for any reason is awful......I don't know if it's 'too soon' for you or not, but in the past I have found that the best thing for me to do (when I'm ready) is to adopt another animal (or two!) from a shelter. It does my heart good to know that I have saved another animal from being put to sleep. It also helps me to think that, now that my beloved [Arliss, Jet, Lucy, Elliott] is gone there is a place in my home for a new animal. It's amazing how good that feels. I'm not ready to do that right now, but I know I will at some point. I like to think that my pets leave in order to make room in our home for another needy animal. Think about it.
"to ease another's heartache is to soothe one's own"
my heart goes out to you,
Mikki
"to ease another's heartache is to soothe one's own"
my heart goes out to you,
Mikki
Hi dear animal lovers,
Well, it's been two weeks since we had to put Elliott to sweet, sweet sleep. I actually went several days where I felt 'okay', where I wasn't crying or suffocating under that heart-crushing grief. Today, I am working from home and it's being at home that is so rough.....at work I don't expect him to come up with his insistent meow to demand attention. At work I don't expect to find him on the kitchen coutertops (oh how that used to annoy me!), at work I will not find his beloved grey cat hair all over the place. or step into a pile of fresh cat puke... so of course, I don't miss him as much there--but being at home is another story.
I finally broke down and cleaned 'Elliott's' room--my spare bedroom with the white bedspread and cushy white lace pillows and white throw rugs. It was meant to be this pristine haven for guests but it almost never looked that way because Elliott laid claim to it--he loved to burrow into all those pillows and I used to call John to come look at him because he looked so cute tucked in among the pillows peeking out at us. The bed always had this grey hair-mess on the pillows, I got tired of cleaning them all the time so I laid a sheet over them---he would always find a way to paw and push his way to those pillows and bury himself there....and then of course there is the barf stain on the white chair that will always be there. That's okay with me now. That's just okay....and it's odd now, that when I go into the kitchen to make a sandwich that I dont' have to scrub the counter before I put my bread on it (because Otis, our remaining cat, has no interest in countertops). and I don't have to keep the bathroom door shut so that he won't go play in the toilet. So, you see how easy it is to be reminded? Elliott is omnipresent in our home and I don't want to erase him. I just want him to be here. That's all. I jsut want him to be here because he belongs here with us. We used to joke that it was a good thing that someone else had not adopted him, he would surely have been returned! He certainly was a problematic cat, but we loved him not in spite of it, but because of it. 'sigh'......My white bedroom won't have to be cleaned as often, I won't have to wash the bedding every couple of weeks, or clean up his hair balls or worry about stepping on my earrings (he loved to bat those around, too). But I would so much rather have the inconvenience, I would so much rather have his annoying, loving presence.....I don't know what to 'do' to get past it, I can't even conceive of getting another animal, and yet that has always been my way of coping: an animal passing on opens up a space for another unwanted, neglected animal to move into our home. I am just not there, yet....
Thanks for letting me vent......
Mikki
Well, it's been two weeks since we had to put Elliott to sweet, sweet sleep. I actually went several days where I felt 'okay', where I wasn't crying or suffocating under that heart-crushing grief. Today, I am working from home and it's being at home that is so rough.....at work I don't expect him to come up with his insistent meow to demand attention. At work I don't expect to find him on the kitchen coutertops (oh how that used to annoy me!), at work I will not find his beloved grey cat hair all over the place. or step into a pile of fresh cat puke... so of course, I don't miss him as much there--but being at home is another story.
I finally broke down and cleaned 'Elliott's' room--my spare bedroom with the white bedspread and cushy white lace pillows and white throw rugs. It was meant to be this pristine haven for guests but it almost never looked that way because Elliott laid claim to it--he loved to burrow into all those pillows and I used to call John to come look at him because he looked so cute tucked in among the pillows peeking out at us. The bed always had this grey hair-mess on the pillows, I got tired of cleaning them all the time so I laid a sheet over them---he would always find a way to paw and push his way to those pillows and bury himself there....and then of course there is the barf stain on the white chair that will always be there. That's okay with me now. That's just okay....and it's odd now, that when I go into the kitchen to make a sandwich that I dont' have to scrub the counter before I put my bread on it (because Otis, our remaining cat, has no interest in countertops). and I don't have to keep the bathroom door shut so that he won't go play in the toilet. So, you see how easy it is to be reminded? Elliott is omnipresent in our home and I don't want to erase him. I just want him to be here. That's all. I jsut want him to be here because he belongs here with us. We used to joke that it was a good thing that someone else had not adopted him, he would surely have been returned! He certainly was a problematic cat, but we loved him not in spite of it, but because of it. 'sigh'......My white bedroom won't have to be cleaned as often, I won't have to wash the bedding every couple of weeks, or clean up his hair balls or worry about stepping on my earrings (he loved to bat those around, too). But I would so much rather have the inconvenience, I would so much rather have his annoying, loving presence.....I don't know what to 'do' to get past it, I can't even conceive of getting another animal, and yet that has always been my way of coping: an animal passing on opens up a space for another unwanted, neglected animal to move into our home. I am just not there, yet....
Thanks for letting me vent......
Mikki
QUOTE (jackjackbojack @ Sep 27 2008, 11:01 PM)
Hi Mikki
I am so sorry to hear about elliott. I do understand the pain. I lost four cats total to kidney disease. One was over nine years ago. I lost three other kitties within 9o days. Rassy cat will have been gone a year Oct 18. And when it comes to having ones heart broke and wondering how we are ever going to get through, we have all been there. I sincerely doubt I will ever stop blaming myself about my rassy cat. But somewhere deep within, I have realized that I am going on inspite of my pain.
For me, I had a monster vet. He cut Rassy's life short. And by the time, I got my other two to another vet, it was just a matter of time...but at least I did get some extra time. Kidney disease is like an emotional roller coaster...one day up and one day down. Please be good to yourself. I found that holding one of my pictures of my kids in my hands before I went to bed really helped me. I bought a wonderful book called animals and the afterlife. That was really helpuf to me. It took a long time before I could talk without crying. And now, I am really working on trying to forgive myself along with that monster.
I am glad that you found this forum. I found it really helped me. Just by being able to read other stories made me realize I wasnt alone in my own grief. Its been a hard year for me too. And I dont care how long we have our babies, its never long enough.
take care
Joanne
I am so sorry to hear about elliott. I do understand the pain. I lost four cats total to kidney disease. One was over nine years ago. I lost three other kitties within 9o days. Rassy cat will have been gone a year Oct 18. And when it comes to having ones heart broke and wondering how we are ever going to get through, we have all been there. I sincerely doubt I will ever stop blaming myself about my rassy cat. But somewhere deep within, I have realized that I am going on inspite of my pain.
For me, I had a monster vet. He cut Rassy's life short. And by the time, I got my other two to another vet, it was just a matter of time...but at least I did get some extra time. Kidney disease is like an emotional roller coaster...one day up and one day down. Please be good to yourself. I found that holding one of my pictures of my kids in my hands before I went to bed really helped me. I bought a wonderful book called animals and the afterlife. That was really helpuf to me. It took a long time before I could talk without crying. And now, I am really working on trying to forgive myself along with that monster.
I am glad that you found this forum. I found it really helped me. Just by being able to read other stories made me realize I wasnt alone in my own grief. Its been a hard year for me too. And I dont care how long we have our babies, its never long enough.
take care
Joanne
Thanks so much for your support and writing, Jan--you lost 4 cats to kidney disease? What on earth causes it? I am tired of losing animals to diseases, cancers and the like. I thought my cats would die from 'old age'.....well, now that I think of it, maybe getting these incurable diseases IS 'old age'. Either way, it's just a miserable thing......3 kittens within 90 days---I couldn't go on! My heart aches for you, that must have been so hard. I adore cats....animals of any kind, really. There's such a sweetness, a trusting that is irresistable. They make my heart swell with joy! Right now I am sitting on my couch with a dog on each side sleeping (I've been calling for Otis, but I think he is happily snoozing in his catbed by the upstairs window)....and that just reminded me: cat beds. I probably have 5 or 6 of them throughout the house--for one cat! Otis has his favorites, too, almost never sleeps in the one in the dining room window (that was Jet's and then Elliott's favorite). but Otis never goes there, I wonder why??? I can't bring myself to take it down....no, I'll leave it there.....and we have 3 litter boxes! for one cat.......one cat is just not quite right......how old were your 3 kitties that died? did the vet have any idea what caused it?....I love your idea of holding you cat's picture before going to bed. That was my favorite time with Jet....and when Jet died, Elliott picked up the ritual. It's those rituals, those habits that make it so hard to move on, it's like there is a hole in my daily routine, such a palpable absence.
Well I am so grateful for this site, and so grateful for you Jan and what you contribute. I hope you can stop blaming yourself for dear Rassy cat, I am sure that he holds no grudges toward you at all....that's the beauty, they just love us unconditionally. Do you have other furkids---they hellp in some ways. I've had moments where I've thought that I don't want to get any more animals, it's just so painful losing them. but then I think, there are so many, many unwanted, neglected animals out there that it is simply WRONG of me not to step in and offer them a home. If nothing else, I get some sense of purpose from that.
Enough for now. thanks again for your presence at this site and in my life ;0)
Mikki
I don't know what to 'do' to get past it, I can't even conceive of getting another animal, and yet that has always been my way of coping: an animal passing on opens up a space for another unwanted, neglected animal to move into our home. I am just not there, yet....
I know what you mean. It is also my way of coping. You will know when you are "there". I needed the distraction because I could not handle an empty home. But first I had to cry myself out. I started with 3, then it was 2, and finally it was 1, and then it was none. The none was the hardest...no furbaby to hug at all.
I guess we just take it one day at a time and do the best we can. Eventually, I started asking myself what would make me feel better (since crying was not doing it), and my answer was I wanted another. One I could hold again..that I could look into those big eyes that never fail to look back.
Baby steps...and one day at a time....helps the healing.
No matter what though, we truly will love and miss them forever. And the grief will come back from time to time but it is a relief eventually to not be overwhelmed everyday by something we can't change because we can't bring them back. But I have pictures of my Little Guy in every room and I look into his eyes and remember the sweet, gentle boy he was. I can smile at a picture in which he was healthy and happy.
Posting about your days and your thoughts and feelings does help. Anything that makes us feel better is a good thing to do.
Take care and know you are not alone in your pain. It is a part of all our lives so we can understand how you feel and we just try to help each other cope and hopefully, have some better days.
By the way..I just now came back from your post in Sissycat's topic about calling out for Elliott like I have for my Little Guy. I have to believe they hear us but as I said...I had to stop cause the silent answer started hurting too much. But yes, I tried to find comfort in trying it at first..
I know what you mean. It is also my way of coping. You will know when you are "there". I needed the distraction because I could not handle an empty home. But first I had to cry myself out. I started with 3, then it was 2, and finally it was 1, and then it was none. The none was the hardest...no furbaby to hug at all.
I guess we just take it one day at a time and do the best we can. Eventually, I started asking myself what would make me feel better (since crying was not doing it), and my answer was I wanted another. One I could hold again..that I could look into those big eyes that never fail to look back.
Baby steps...and one day at a time....helps the healing.
No matter what though, we truly will love and miss them forever. And the grief will come back from time to time but it is a relief eventually to not be overwhelmed everyday by something we can't change because we can't bring them back. But I have pictures of my Little Guy in every room and I look into his eyes and remember the sweet, gentle boy he was. I can smile at a picture in which he was healthy and happy.
Posting about your days and your thoughts and feelings does help. Anything that makes us feel better is a good thing to do.
Take care and know you are not alone in your pain. It is a part of all our lives so we can understand how you feel and we just try to help each other cope and hopefully, have some better days.
By the way..I just now came back from your post in Sissycat's topic about calling out for Elliott like I have for my Little Guy. I have to believe they hear us but as I said...I had to stop cause the silent answer started hurting too much. But yes, I tried to find comfort in trying it at first..
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