Hey guys,
I lost my best friend, Raggs, a rescue pup that was found abandoned and neglected in the streets. His coat was matted and mangled. Hence the name.
I was first introduced to Raggs at the age of 7 when my Dad brought him home. He was approx. 8 weeks old. I'm now 22, Raggs passed last Sunday. I had the pleasure of his friendship for 15 years.
We quickly became friends, then best friends and soon enough we were inseparable. He was part of the family..We both grew up together. Now he's gone and i'm completely lost.
During my late teens i battled against an eating disorder. I was very sick. And he knew that, he knew that i was sick.
Resting his head on my chest a little more gently than usual, his big green eyes would stare into mine and they would beg me to get better, his eyes told me i needed to fight it and get better.
He pulled me through that dreadful time. After all, we were a team. A unit.
We bounced off each other, protecting one other when either of us fell.
Over the years his eye sight began to dim and his hearing wasn't too good...He was getting old...
Something of which was easily over shadowed by liveliness and playfulness.
Through out Last Friday he was puking violently, drinking lots, not eating and seemed...'sluggish'.
I comfortred him through the night into the early hours.
After an hours sleep, i woke up to find that he had perked up alot. Throughout Saturday he wasn't puking, he was eating and he seemed a lot happier. I went to bed that night relieved that my best friend was ok, foolishly putting it down to something he may of eaten.
The following morning i woke to find him in much worse condition than on the Firday. He was puking again, drinking lots and could barely walk. When he could stand and walk (with assistance), He couldnt balance and couldnt walk straight.
My Dad called the Veterinarian hospital in the neighbouring town while i comforted him, and told him what he told me 2 years previously...'Get beter'...'Please get better'...'It'll be alright'.
Soon enough my Dad had scooped him up off of the carpet in a wrap around, we were in the car and heading to the hospital.
My best friend has always had a...'rebellious' streak towards being examined or when getting his shots. This time was different, their was no fight...No need to calm him.
After an examination, the Vet said that his kidneys had completley shut down and that the kindest thing we could do for him was put him to sleep.
'No! No he's fine! He was fine yesterday!', i kept thinking. It hadn't hit me what was going on or what was about to happen.
My best friend of 15 years wasn't about to leave me...He couldnt.
The Vet asked us to leave the room while she did her thing.
That wasn't going to happen.
She shaved a small piece of fur off of his leg...Normally he would try his best to avoid that happening, but still..Nothing.
The rest...I just cant write...
I'm completley lost. The earliest memory of life i have is when i was 7, the day i met my best friend.
I can honestly say that i've never known life without him.
The bottom of my world fell through last Sunday. My heart feels so heavy and yet a chunk of it is missing.
Part of me still cant get my head round it...
I will never feel the same way he made me feel ever again. Only he had the power to do that. Words cant describe those feelings...And their gone.
Half of me has gone.
Since Sunday i just havn't been able to function...I cant stop crying, i cant stop panicking, i just...I cant cope much longer.
Even if just one person reply's to this...Please just say anything...Anything to let me know that someone is their..
Full Version: Lost...
Believe it or not, everything you are saying and feeling is NORMAL.
As far as pain and grieving...you are definitely not alone in that. We all come here looking for relief from the pain that overwhelms us when we have lost our best friend. What helps is realizing we are not suffering alone. Even though we feel this disaster just happened to us, we quickly realize by looking around this forum and reading the different stories..that...this disaster has happened to all here.
Knowing others know exactly how you feel because they are there, have been there, and some are going there again soon....it helps to realize that.
One here said after a loss: The pain of losing him will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing him.
We know that to be true. We get through the pain by remembering the years of joy. I lost my last one in September after 16 1/2 years. I had 16 years and 4 months of a healthy, happy boy..and 2 months of worry and then loss. I would never trade having him all those good years..to avoid the pain that will come when the loss arrives.
Why we lose them, we will never know. The closest I come to understanding in a nice way is to think that we lose them so many of us will open our hearts and homes to the thousands who are waiting for a home, waiting to be needed, waiting to be loved...and if I did not lose my friend...they would still be waiting. But each time, in my lifetime, whether it is a dog or a cat, when they left me...I miss the hugging of them, I miss looking into those eyes of a beautiful soul who cannot speak with words but whose eyes follow us everywhere. True, when we are sick, they never leave our side...that's all a part of the unconditional love they give us.
What you went through is a horrible memory and when it appears in your mind...you have to push it away and remember a good memory of Raggs that will make you smile. I am glad you had him for the years you did and if I could work miracles..none of us would ever lose any of our best friends..but that's not life.
Life is unfair. Life is cruel. But then we should remember that Life also gave us our best friends for all the time they were allowed to be with us. We cry until we are exhausted...then we cry again..and again...until we are too exhausted to cry. Everything seems so empty all around us. and that is because it is empty now.
We take baby steps toward healing because it becomes physically exhausting to grieve constantly. At first, it all happens so spontaneously...but then after a while...we realize grieving does not make us feel better because we realize grieving will not bring back our loss.
I surround myself with pictures of my precious ones so every room I go into...I can look into their eyes and remember the bond we will always have. But after a time, I needed the physical touch and so I adopted one from the local SPCA and for me, this provides the distraction I need, this helps fill the emptiness, and so I am bonding with another soul who needed a home and needed to be loved. One who will never be starved or abused or neglected in any way because he now has a home. He is not a replacement because that is impossible but his affection helps me in many ways.
You might want to read the story in this Section posted by Havana...it is about a man and his best friend..Jorge and Buster...I think you will read many of your feelings in what he is going through since he lost his best friend a few short weeks ago..so you can see what I mean about people here understanding exactly what you are going through and that you are not going through all that pain alone.
We try to feel better by talking about our special ones, posting pictures if we have them, telling stories that make us smile because they are of the good happy healthy memories we shared with them. Some here write in their topic a special letter to their friend, saying everything they can think of they would like to say..if only they could say it in person again. We share the pain everyday by listening to one another and many times typing through tears as we read about someone's pain and relive it inside ourselves.
Yes, to answer your question...there is someone here....there are many here who care and are listening.
All we can give here is a cyberhug....but it is always given sincerely because what we share here comes from the heart.
So here is one for you today and everyday
It is okay to post your thoughts and your feelings....it is in the responses that we are able to "touch" one another and, if we are lucky, someone feels better from reading something we said.
As far as pain and grieving...you are definitely not alone in that. We all come here looking for relief from the pain that overwhelms us when we have lost our best friend. What helps is realizing we are not suffering alone. Even though we feel this disaster just happened to us, we quickly realize by looking around this forum and reading the different stories..that...this disaster has happened to all here.
Knowing others know exactly how you feel because they are there, have been there, and some are going there again soon....it helps to realize that.
One here said after a loss: The pain of losing him will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing him.
We know that to be true. We get through the pain by remembering the years of joy. I lost my last one in September after 16 1/2 years. I had 16 years and 4 months of a healthy, happy boy..and 2 months of worry and then loss. I would never trade having him all those good years..to avoid the pain that will come when the loss arrives.
Why we lose them, we will never know. The closest I come to understanding in a nice way is to think that we lose them so many of us will open our hearts and homes to the thousands who are waiting for a home, waiting to be needed, waiting to be loved...and if I did not lose my friend...they would still be waiting. But each time, in my lifetime, whether it is a dog or a cat, when they left me...I miss the hugging of them, I miss looking into those eyes of a beautiful soul who cannot speak with words but whose eyes follow us everywhere. True, when we are sick, they never leave our side...that's all a part of the unconditional love they give us.
What you went through is a horrible memory and when it appears in your mind...you have to push it away and remember a good memory of Raggs that will make you smile. I am glad you had him for the years you did and if I could work miracles..none of us would ever lose any of our best friends..but that's not life.
Life is unfair. Life is cruel. But then we should remember that Life also gave us our best friends for all the time they were allowed to be with us. We cry until we are exhausted...then we cry again..and again...until we are too exhausted to cry. Everything seems so empty all around us. and that is because it is empty now.
We take baby steps toward healing because it becomes physically exhausting to grieve constantly. At first, it all happens so spontaneously...but then after a while...we realize grieving does not make us feel better because we realize grieving will not bring back our loss.
I surround myself with pictures of my precious ones so every room I go into...I can look into their eyes and remember the bond we will always have. But after a time, I needed the physical touch and so I adopted one from the local SPCA and for me, this provides the distraction I need, this helps fill the emptiness, and so I am bonding with another soul who needed a home and needed to be loved. One who will never be starved or abused or neglected in any way because he now has a home. He is not a replacement because that is impossible but his affection helps me in many ways.
You might want to read the story in this Section posted by Havana...it is about a man and his best friend..Jorge and Buster...I think you will read many of your feelings in what he is going through since he lost his best friend a few short weeks ago..so you can see what I mean about people here understanding exactly what you are going through and that you are not going through all that pain alone.
We try to feel better by talking about our special ones, posting pictures if we have them, telling stories that make us smile because they are of the good happy healthy memories we shared with them. Some here write in their topic a special letter to their friend, saying everything they can think of they would like to say..if only they could say it in person again. We share the pain everyday by listening to one another and many times typing through tears as we read about someone's pain and relive it inside ourselves.
Yes, to answer your question...there is someone here....there are many here who care and are listening.
All we can give here is a cyberhug....but it is always given sincerely because what we share here comes from the heart.
So here is one for you today and everyday
It is okay to post your thoughts and your feelings....it is in the responses that we are able to "touch" one another and, if we are lucky, someone feels better from reading something we said.
Thankyou...
Remembering the good times/memories only brings me to tears...I cant bear to look at any photographs yet...I hope someday that tears wont be involved, and its just a smile.
Yes, browsing the forum and reading peoples stories before my first post...I know that their are people out their feeling the same or similar feelings...I hope that one day i can come on this forum and be able to write an inspiring post for someone like you've just done me...
Remembering the good times/memories only brings me to tears...I cant bear to look at any photographs yet...I hope someday that tears wont be involved, and its just a smile.
Yes, browsing the forum and reading peoples stories before my first post...I know that their are people out their feeling the same or similar feelings...I hope that one day i can come on this forum and be able to write an inspiring post for someone like you've just done me...
Thankyou for your words 'LoveThem'...
Their isn't anyone around my place to give me those words.
Those 'leading' words.
Yeah, hopefully this topic will allow me to...'get out' everything.
I will keep posting.
Thankyou.
Their isn't anyone around my place to give me those words.
Those 'leading' words.
Yeah, hopefully this topic will allow me to...'get out' everything.
I will keep posting.
Thankyou.
I am so sorry for your loss of Raggs. I know how you feel. My dog Skipper died in her sleep last night and was almost 17. The pain is intense and we all feel it. Know that you are not alone and that all of us here understand how you feel. Raggs sounds like a very special baby. Do you have a picture you would like to share?
I know you don't believe it, but this does get better with time. I lost my Scottie three years ago - I still miss her daily but the raw pain has subsided and has been replaced by good memories.
Hoping you find peace...
I know you don't believe it, but this does get better with time. I lost my Scottie three years ago - I still miss her daily but the raw pain has subsided and has been replaced by good memories.
Hoping you find peace...
I am so sorry to hear Raggs has passed away. 
The raw emotion you describe is well known and understood by me as well as all that find their way to this site.
The intense pain you are feeling not only is NORMAL....but needed. If you felt nothing at all I would think something was terribly wrong. I promise you with time and patience you will find peace in your heart. Though Raggs body has perished, his loving soul will never die. His and your heart became one long ago when you were just 7 years old. The two of you grew up together and knew each other well. Since you both were children when you got him, you and he learned many important things about life throughout all your years right into adulthood. You have told a marvelous love story about yourself and Raggs.
The memories you and Raggs made together over the last 15 years is the gift he left you when he passed away. A love such as yours does not ever diminish. Over time the anxiety you are feeling will.
When my Goliath passed away so suddenly this last November I thought I'd never be able to function in a normal way again. I felt as though I died right along with him and prayed that I would. I kept telling myself it all was just a bad dream only to find I was in a living nightmare. It took me two months before I found this site and it was then I was able to find my way back to finding hope, inspiration, and encouragment to go on. I also came to realize that Goliath never left my side. His gentle and loving spirit is with me always. Your Raggs is with you too.
Post pictures when you are ready and share more about Raggs and the loving life the two of you made together. Come often to LS, even if you chose not to post. Read others stories and know you are not alone. Together we all walk down that sad road of grief, picking up the pieces of our broken hearts along the way.
Much love to you with hugs of comfort,
Beth
The raw emotion you describe is well known and understood by me as well as all that find their way to this site.The intense pain you are feeling not only is NORMAL....but needed. If you felt nothing at all I would think something was terribly wrong. I promise you with time and patience you will find peace in your heart. Though Raggs body has perished, his loving soul will never die. His and your heart became one long ago when you were just 7 years old. The two of you grew up together and knew each other well. Since you both were children when you got him, you and he learned many important things about life throughout all your years right into adulthood. You have told a marvelous love story about yourself and Raggs.
The memories you and Raggs made together over the last 15 years is the gift he left you when he passed away. A love such as yours does not ever diminish. Over time the anxiety you are feeling will.
When my Goliath passed away so suddenly this last November I thought I'd never be able to function in a normal way again. I felt as though I died right along with him and prayed that I would. I kept telling myself it all was just a bad dream only to find I was in a living nightmare. It took me two months before I found this site and it was then I was able to find my way back to finding hope, inspiration, and encouragment to go on. I also came to realize that Goliath never left my side. His gentle and loving spirit is with me always. Your Raggs is with you too.
Post pictures when you are ready and share more about Raggs and the loving life the two of you made together. Come often to LS, even if you chose not to post. Read others stories and know you are not alone. Together we all walk down that sad road of grief, picking up the pieces of our broken hearts along the way.
Much love to you with hugs of comfort,
Beth
QUOTE (justme @ Jul 11 2008, 02:56 PM) 
Hey guys,
I lost my best friend, Raggs, a rescue pup that was found abandoned and neglected in the streets. His coat was matted and mangled. Hence the name.
I was first introduced to Raggs at the age of 7 when my Dad brought him home. He was approx. 8 weeks old. I'm now 22, Raggs passed last Sunday. I had the pleasure of his friendship for 15 years.
We quickly became friends, then best friends and soon enough we were inseparable. He was part of the family..We both grew up together. Now he's gone and i'm completely lost.
During my late teens i battled against an eating disorder. I was very sick. And he knew that, he knew that i was sick.
Resting his head on my chest a little more gently than usual, his big green eyes would stare into mine and they would beg me to get better, his eyes told me i needed to fight it and get better.
He pulled me through that dreadful time. After all, we were a team. A unit.
We bounced off each other, protecting one other when either of us fell.
Over the years his eye sight began to dim and his hearing wasn't too good...He was getting old...
Something of which was easily over shadowed by liveliness and playfulness.
Through out Last Friday he was puking violently, drinking lots, not eating and seemed...'sluggish'.
I comfortred him through the night into the early hours.
After an hours sleep, i woke up to find that he had perked up alot. Throughout Saturday he wasn't puking, he was eating and he seemed a lot happier. I went to bed that night relieved that my best friend was ok, foolishly putting it down to something he may of eaten.
The following morning i woke to find him in much worse condition than on the Firday. He was puking again, drinking lots and could barely walk. When he could stand and walk (with assistance), He couldnt balance and couldnt walk straight.
My Dad called the Veterinarian hospital in the neighbouring town while i comforted him, and told him what he told me 2 years previously...'Get beter'...'Please get better'...'It'll be alright'.
Soon enough my Dad had scooped him up off of the carpet in a wrap around, we were in the car and heading to the hospital.
My best friend has always had a...'rebellious' streak towards being examined or when getting his shots. This time was different, their was no fight...No need to calm him.
After an examination, the Vet said that his kidneys had completley shut down and that the kindest thing we could do for him was put him to sleep.
'No! No he's fine! He was fine yesterday!', i kept thinking. It hadn't hit me what was going on or what was about to happen.
My best friend of 15 years wasn't about to leave me...He couldnt.
The Vet asked us to leave the room while she did her thing.
That wasn't going to happen.
She shaved a small piece of fur off of his leg...Normally he would try his best to avoid that happening, but still..Nothing.
The rest...I just cant write...
I'm completley lost. The earliest memory of life i have is when i was 7, the day i met my best friend.
I can honestly say that i've never known life without him.
The bottom of my world fell through last Sunday. My heart feels so heavy and yet a chunk of it is missing.
Part of me still cant get my head round it...
I will never feel the same way he made me feel ever again. Only he had the power to do that. Words cant describe those feelings...And their gone.
Half of me has gone.
Since Sunday i just havn't been able to function...I cant stop crying, i cant stop panicking, i just...I cant cope much longer.
Even if just one person reply's to this...Please just say anything...Anything to let me know that someone is their..
I lost my best friend, Raggs, a rescue pup that was found abandoned and neglected in the streets. His coat was matted and mangled. Hence the name.
I was first introduced to Raggs at the age of 7 when my Dad brought him home. He was approx. 8 weeks old. I'm now 22, Raggs passed last Sunday. I had the pleasure of his friendship for 15 years.
We quickly became friends, then best friends and soon enough we were inseparable. He was part of the family..We both grew up together. Now he's gone and i'm completely lost.
During my late teens i battled against an eating disorder. I was very sick. And he knew that, he knew that i was sick.
Resting his head on my chest a little more gently than usual, his big green eyes would stare into mine and they would beg me to get better, his eyes told me i needed to fight it and get better.
He pulled me through that dreadful time. After all, we were a team. A unit.
We bounced off each other, protecting one other when either of us fell.
Over the years his eye sight began to dim and his hearing wasn't too good...He was getting old...
Something of which was easily over shadowed by liveliness and playfulness.
Through out Last Friday he was puking violently, drinking lots, not eating and seemed...'sluggish'.
I comfortred him through the night into the early hours.
After an hours sleep, i woke up to find that he had perked up alot. Throughout Saturday he wasn't puking, he was eating and he seemed a lot happier. I went to bed that night relieved that my best friend was ok, foolishly putting it down to something he may of eaten.
The following morning i woke to find him in much worse condition than on the Firday. He was puking again, drinking lots and could barely walk. When he could stand and walk (with assistance), He couldnt balance and couldnt walk straight.
My Dad called the Veterinarian hospital in the neighbouring town while i comforted him, and told him what he told me 2 years previously...'Get beter'...'Please get better'...'It'll be alright'.
Soon enough my Dad had scooped him up off of the carpet in a wrap around, we were in the car and heading to the hospital.
My best friend has always had a...'rebellious' streak towards being examined or when getting his shots. This time was different, their was no fight...No need to calm him.
After an examination, the Vet said that his kidneys had completley shut down and that the kindest thing we could do for him was put him to sleep.
'No! No he's fine! He was fine yesterday!', i kept thinking. It hadn't hit me what was going on or what was about to happen.
My best friend of 15 years wasn't about to leave me...He couldnt.
The Vet asked us to leave the room while she did her thing.
That wasn't going to happen.
She shaved a small piece of fur off of his leg...Normally he would try his best to avoid that happening, but still..Nothing.
The rest...I just cant write...
I'm completley lost. The earliest memory of life i have is when i was 7, the day i met my best friend.
I can honestly say that i've never known life without him.
The bottom of my world fell through last Sunday. My heart feels so heavy and yet a chunk of it is missing.
Part of me still cant get my head round it...
I will never feel the same way he made me feel ever again. Only he had the power to do that. Words cant describe those feelings...And their gone.
Half of me has gone.
Since Sunday i just havn't been able to function...I cant stop crying, i cant stop panicking, i just...I cant cope much longer.
Even if just one person reply's to this...Please just say anything...Anything to let me know that someone is their..
Thankyou Nanpacific55 and Goliath, your words bring me to tears...
I found this forum merely because i was at my wits end..Still am. I just needed to hear someone out their...anyone...So thankyou all.
Nanpacific55...I'm sorry to hear about Skipper, really...
I just hope that...I find some kind of 'peace' soon because...I really cant take much more of this.
Their are photographs of the two of us all over the house...I just can't look at them right now and yet i cant take them down...I dont want to take them down.
I will gladly share some pictures of my bud as soon as i...feel comfortable or 'peaceful' i guess.
I found this forum merely because i was at my wits end..Still am. I just needed to hear someone out their...anyone...So thankyou all.
Nanpacific55...I'm sorry to hear about Skipper, really...
I just hope that...I find some kind of 'peace' soon because...I really cant take much more of this.
Their are photographs of the two of us all over the house...I just can't look at them right now and yet i cant take them down...I dont want to take them down.
I will gladly share some pictures of my bud as soon as i...feel comfortable or 'peaceful' i guess.
Hi, yes, am so very sorry for your loss too and believe me the last thing in the world I want in this my darkest days is to see someone suffering as much as I am in this days. You like me had lost the most important thing in this world and still can not believe that my Son Buster is really gone for ever....."had to paused for a few seconds, lost it again" the only thing I have left are my memories of him some videos and lots of pics. To me life is not fear anymore we Buster and I lived such long time together and at the end everything went down so fast that it is so unbelieveble still since we were all alone for a long time, 11 years and now I am the way I never wanted to be. The worst part of all is when I go to sleep and he is not by my side anymore and really hate the flash-back of when he was dying in my arms and when it happens I have to seat down fast on the bed or just walk away from it, I knew this will kill me as it did but I thought I can not and I will not leave him alone in his last minutes. Thank you for reading my posts as you said you did and wish you the best in the world and at the same time I wish I could say or do something to eliminate your pain and suffering but I can't cause am feeling the same way you do and my life is very empty right now, you can contact me anytime at any day I will be here for you too like many others were here for me when I needed it the most even though not to much lately, thanks again, Blessings always Buster and Jorge Click to view attachment
Click to view attachment
Jorge and Buster,
Thankyou, as i said reading your story touched me...And in a way, it comforted me knowing that i wasnt alone.
Buster looks like such a loving, caring, beautiful friend...
I too refused to leave my best friend alone in his last minutes...and yes, the flashbacks are haunting...Its now 2:50am here and i'm scared to sleep because i know what will come to me...
The same goes for you Jorge, contact me anytime, any day ok.
Thankyou, as i said reading your story touched me...And in a way, it comforted me knowing that i wasnt alone.
Buster looks like such a loving, caring, beautiful friend...
I too refused to leave my best friend alone in his last minutes...and yes, the flashbacks are haunting...Its now 2:50am here and i'm scared to sleep because i know what will come to me...
The same goes for you Jorge, contact me anytime, any day ok.
First let me tell you there are so many people here for you!!!!!! They were here for me. My loss of Sissy just being 36 days ago. There are many ups and downs to your grief. Everyone's lasts a different amount of time. Yes, most of us here have been in your position before. Just know your Raggs was proud to have been your pet. Sometime we have to make decisions which we know are best, but are so very hard to make and understand.
One day you will be able to look at pictures and smile. When you are ready please post some stories. Would love to hear them!!!
You had many wonderful years together and probably made many great memories. No one can take those away from you.
Many many Hugs to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One day you will be able to look at pictures and smile. When you are ready please post some stories. Would love to hear them!!!
You had many wonderful years together and probably made many great memories. No one can take those away from you.
Many many Hugs to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i understand how you feel, i really do.
i just lost my best friend too.
*hugs tight* i don't know if i can offer any comfort, hurting as bad as i am too, but i can let you know you are not the only one feeling this way.
what i am hoping for myself is that i will start being able to be happy that i had her.
maybe we both can be happy that we had friends that wonderful and caring.
maybe someday we will be with them again, you with raggs and me with my blackfoot.
or maybe the best thing we can do is be the best people we can be, who they would be proud of. it's the hardest thing i've ever had to do, keeping going each day, but when i think of how proud my best friend is going to be of me when i do what i've wanted to do and what she inspired me to be.
i don't know if this helped at all.... i'm sorry if it didn't, but i'm always willing to listen. and i always have hugs to offer.
~demi
i just lost my best friend too.
*hugs tight* i don't know if i can offer any comfort, hurting as bad as i am too, but i can let you know you are not the only one feeling this way.
what i am hoping for myself is that i will start being able to be happy that i had her.
maybe we both can be happy that we had friends that wonderful and caring.
maybe someday we will be with them again, you with raggs and me with my blackfoot.
or maybe the best thing we can do is be the best people we can be, who they would be proud of. it's the hardest thing i've ever had to do, keeping going each day, but when i think of how proud my best friend is going to be of me when i do what i've wanted to do and what she inspired me to be.
i don't know if this helped at all.... i'm sorry if it didn't, but i'm always willing to listen. and i always have hugs to offer.
~demi
You lost a friend that started in childhood, so it is as bad as it can get, because you feel your childhood died with your friend.
Just remember that in order for us to be good friends to them, we HAVE to outlive them so we can be there for them their entire lives.
We have had so many cat and dog friends over the years that when it is time to lose them, we think of when they arrived in our lives and how young and healthy we were when they came, and that adds more pain.
This is one of the few things in Life that we collect all the joys and rewards from every day, and then one day, we pay for it all at once when the terrible bill comes due.
I do not think I can say anything that will make you happy, except that the pain may not get better but it will get different. You will be able someday to look back at all the joy, and even smile, despite being sad.
Just remember that your friend paid you in advance all those years, and would not want you to suffer, either.
Just remember that in order for us to be good friends to them, we HAVE to outlive them so we can be there for them their entire lives.
We have had so many cat and dog friends over the years that when it is time to lose them, we think of when they arrived in our lives and how young and healthy we were when they came, and that adds more pain.
This is one of the few things in Life that we collect all the joys and rewards from every day, and then one day, we pay for it all at once when the terrible bill comes due.
I do not think I can say anything that will make you happy, except that the pain may not get better but it will get different. You will be able someday to look back at all the joy, and even smile, despite being sad.
Just remember that your friend paid you in advance all those years, and would not want you to suffer, either.
Justme,
So sorry to hear about the loss of your best friend, Raggs. How wonderful that you two had 15 years together, however, I know that wasn't long enough. I really can't say anything ....Lovethem, Goliath, Jorge, as well as the others on this site, express our pain and sadness so well. My heart goes out to you. I lost my baby girl, Zoe, a precious 2 year old westie, to a tragic accident of her getting hit by a car, a month ago today. It is still very hard for me to be a functional person in society. The emptiness I feel is the same as I day I lost her. I talk to my husband and friends, all the time about her, it really helps. I am able to look at Zoe's pictures and smile, but cry at the same time. I know you feel lost. You are not alone.
There are many of us who are going through the same emotional storm.
Raggs is now in you heart ...she will always be with you.
That is what I am holding to now.
Please feel free to tell stories or write something to Raggs.
Much love and support during this difficult time.
Deanna
So sorry to hear about the loss of your best friend, Raggs. How wonderful that you two had 15 years together, however, I know that wasn't long enough. I really can't say anything ....Lovethem, Goliath, Jorge, as well as the others on this site, express our pain and sadness so well. My heart goes out to you. I lost my baby girl, Zoe, a precious 2 year old westie, to a tragic accident of her getting hit by a car, a month ago today. It is still very hard for me to be a functional person in society. The emptiness I feel is the same as I day I lost her. I talk to my husband and friends, all the time about her, it really helps. I am able to look at Zoe's pictures and smile, but cry at the same time. I know you feel lost. You are not alone.
There are many of us who are going through the same emotional storm.
Raggs is now in you heart ...she will always be with you.
That is what I am holding to now.
Please feel free to tell stories or write something to Raggs.
Much love and support during this difficult time.
Deanna
sissycat, demi,
Thankyou, your words did comfort me, i really appreciate it. I've read both of your stories and i am so sorry.
Jon730, your right...I guess i do feel my childhood died with my best friend...Every memory i have from the age of 7 to 22, he was their. Even when i wasnt here at home and in class or simply at the store..I knew he was here waiting for me to get back...
I dont know a life without him, i'm terrified of a life without him...
Deanne, Your right, it was never long enough. I'm glad talking to your friends and husband helps you. Reading your story brought me to tears, just like everyone's story on here. But in a way..Those stories give me company, so if anything...Thankyou.
ugh' today was a bad day...I woke at 4:30am, after going to bed at 3:00am. From the second i opened my eyes an overwhelming sense emptiness and anxiety took me over. I jumped out of bed, fully awake...No drowsiness, no slowly coming too...It like i wasnt even asleep. I know my body is exausted, i just cant feel it...
The rest of the day was filled with tears and anxious pacing around the house...
I've got finals next week...I just dont know what to do..
Thankyou, your words did comfort me, i really appreciate it. I've read both of your stories and i am so sorry.
Jon730, your right...I guess i do feel my childhood died with my best friend...Every memory i have from the age of 7 to 22, he was their. Even when i wasnt here at home and in class or simply at the store..I knew he was here waiting for me to get back...
I dont know a life without him, i'm terrified of a life without him...
Deanne, Your right, it was never long enough. I'm glad talking to your friends and husband helps you. Reading your story brought me to tears, just like everyone's story on here. But in a way..Those stories give me company, so if anything...Thankyou.
ugh' today was a bad day...I woke at 4:30am, after going to bed at 3:00am. From the second i opened my eyes an overwhelming sense emptiness and anxiety took me over. I jumped out of bed, fully awake...No drowsiness, no slowly coming too...It like i wasnt even asleep. I know my body is exausted, i just cant feel it...
The rest of the day was filled with tears and anxious pacing around the house...
I've got finals next week...I just dont know what to do..
LoveThem, no it doesnt sound crazy and your right...I would be studying at home. I would always sit with him in the garden or play fetch during my breaks...They always surved as a welcome joyous distraction...
to be honest...A big part of me just...doesnt care about the finals...I just know that i've got them next week...Thats it, no other feelings.
I know my parents would be proud if i aced them but..That too isn't really enough anymore.
I find it hard holding it together walking to the store, so an exam hall...
I will try my hardest to look at some photographs tommorow...Part of me wants too because i miss him so much but at the same time...I know what will happen, and like i said..I cant take much more.
to be honest...A big part of me just...doesnt care about the finals...I just know that i've got them next week...Thats it, no other feelings.
I know my parents would be proud if i aced them but..That too isn't really enough anymore.
I find it hard holding it together walking to the store, so an exam hall...
I will try my hardest to look at some photographs tommorow...Part of me wants too because i miss him so much but at the same time...I know what will happen, and like i said..I cant take much more.
Its ok you've run out of words...Everything you've said has, and no-doubt will contine to comfort me as i read your posts over and over again...I could never of found words such as yours where i am.
According to the rest of my family...Their is a time limit on emotions. This has hit me head on and left me in pieces while everyone else...i dont know...I just feel like i'm starting to annoy everyone now with my crying. So i do it alone now..With the occasional break down in front of everyone.
But like you said, everyone grieves in their own way so...ugh' i just dont know.
To be honest, my grandparents died when i was 5 or 6..I cant remember them, my parents and sister are still here and i dont speak to anyone else in my family apart from my immediates so...This is my first major loss, my best friend and member of the family..
Credit to you for openeing you heart to a number of special friends...I couldnt cope with feeling the loss over and over...
Your belief does comfort me...That if they were not taken, not all of us would give a home to another...
I have a question but i'm not sure how to phrase it...I know nobody will know for sure but...
A brave face with dogs when they are in pain?...
I mean...If my Raggs had felt pain during the early hours of Sunday morning before we took him to the vets...Would he have shown it? Crying, yelping etc...
I know that only i have the best chance of answering that but..But i mean in general...All beloved pets...
I know with this question i am torturing myself but...I just want to know what people think...
According to the rest of my family...Their is a time limit on emotions. This has hit me head on and left me in pieces while everyone else...i dont know...I just feel like i'm starting to annoy everyone now with my crying. So i do it alone now..With the occasional break down in front of everyone.
But like you said, everyone grieves in their own way so...ugh' i just dont know.
To be honest, my grandparents died when i was 5 or 6..I cant remember them, my parents and sister are still here and i dont speak to anyone else in my family apart from my immediates so...This is my first major loss, my best friend and member of the family..
Credit to you for openeing you heart to a number of special friends...I couldnt cope with feeling the loss over and over...
Your belief does comfort me...That if they were not taken, not all of us would give a home to another...
I have a question but i'm not sure how to phrase it...I know nobody will know for sure but...
A brave face with dogs when they are in pain?...
I mean...If my Raggs had felt pain during the early hours of Sunday morning before we took him to the vets...Would he have shown it? Crying, yelping etc...
I know that only i have the best chance of answering that but..But i mean in general...All beloved pets...
I know with this question i am torturing myself but...I just want to know what people think...
QUOTE
I have a question but i'm not sure how to phrase it...I know nobody will know for sure but...
A brave face with dogs when they are in pain?...
I mean...If my Raggs had felt pain during the early hours of Sunday morning before we took him to the vets...Would he have shown it? Crying, yelping etc...
I know that only i have the best chance of answering that but..But i mean in general...All beloved pets...
A brave face with dogs when they are in pain?...
I mean...If my Raggs had felt pain during the early hours of Sunday morning before we took him to the vets...Would he have shown it? Crying, yelping etc...
I know that only i have the best chance of answering that but..But i mean in general...All beloved pets...
Dogs are more trusting and may be more willing to show their pain than cats. Our Aussie Matilda had liver cancer, undetected. But she would, tired and sick as she was, beg us to throw sticks, and always put on a brave front.
Cats generally do not show much unless the pain is terrible. Even pain sometimes causes purring, which is misinterpreted. In Nature, a sick animal is often fair game for others or for predators, so there is a survival advantage to pretending everything is fine. Poor Miles purred till the last.
One survival strategy you should think of is your finals.
I run a business, and there were things I simply HAD to do, or I would not get paid. And while I found there were bad moments, throwing myself into the routine actaully was a healthy distraction. Your finals are forever...and you already HAVE your Friend forever, so you may as well give the finals a go, and throw yourself intpo them and focus as best you can. You may find yourself feeling a little better for an hour or so at a time. Sure, take Grief Breaks when needed..I had to. But weeks later, yu will start (start) healing, and the finals will be behind you, and you will wonder how you ever did it and all. But it is always faster healing when you look back and tell yourself, "I was devastated, but at least I wasn't totally useless!!"
Thnkyou Jon730. That helped me understand a little more..
And your right, my finals are forever...I just need to find the strength.
Well today is exactly one week since my Raggs passed. It was so hard....
I keep having flashbacks by looking at the time and thinking about what was happeneing this time last Sunday.
I went out for a walk, not being able to stay at home any longer. I was walking back up my street when i could see that the neighbours dog, who is very highly strung and barks aggressively at anyone or anything walking by, was laying on the green opposite my house. I knew he would start barking at me, like he has so many times before, as i made my way closer to home and the green. Sure enough he caught sight of me and started barking. He then stood up and started rushing towards me, still barking. I thought 'ugh' no i dont need this'...As soon as he got up to me, he stopped barking, laid down at my feet with his head on the floor and looked up at me...Just like my Raggs would do. I was reluctant to stroke him but i kneeled and began to anyway, at which time my neighbour appeared looking somewhat shocked. He walked over and said 'wow thats unusual, he is very protective of my wife and i and only lets us pet him'...Something of which i already knew...I was shocked too.
All evening i have thought about that, trying my best to believe in something...positive...But it just makes my heart even heavier
And your right, my finals are forever...I just need to find the strength.
Well today is exactly one week since my Raggs passed. It was so hard....
I keep having flashbacks by looking at the time and thinking about what was happeneing this time last Sunday.
I went out for a walk, not being able to stay at home any longer. I was walking back up my street when i could see that the neighbours dog, who is very highly strung and barks aggressively at anyone or anything walking by, was laying on the green opposite my house. I knew he would start barking at me, like he has so many times before, as i made my way closer to home and the green. Sure enough he caught sight of me and started barking. He then stood up and started rushing towards me, still barking. I thought 'ugh' no i dont need this'...As soon as he got up to me, he stopped barking, laid down at my feet with his head on the floor and looked up at me...Just like my Raggs would do. I was reluctant to stroke him but i kneeled and began to anyway, at which time my neighbour appeared looking somewhat shocked. He walked over and said 'wow thats unusual, he is very protective of my wife and i and only lets us pet him'...Something of which i already knew...I was shocked too.
All evening i have thought about that, trying my best to believe in something...positive...But it just makes my heart even heavier
QUOTE
I thought 'ugh' no i dont need this'...As soon as he got up to me, he stopped barking, laid down at my feet with his head on the floor and looked up at me...Just like my Raggs would do. I was reluctant to stroke him but i kneeled and began to anyway, at which time my neighbour appeared looking somewhat shocked. He walked over and said 'wow thats unusual, he is very protective of my wife and i and only lets us pet him'...Something of which i already knew...I was shocked too.
All evening i have thought about that, trying my best to believe in something...positive...But it just makes my heart even heavier
All evening i have thought about that, trying my best to believe in something...positive...But it just makes my heart even heavier
Another way of looking at it is that even a dog who DID NOT LIKE you recognized your grief and offered comfort!
Instead , perhaps consider he was just relaying a message from Raggs on the Dog Channel, and try to smile briefly about it.
"Hey, Brother Dog.
Do me a favour and tell Justme I am fine, I miss him and will see him again!
NOW you can bite him, if you want to..I'll understand!"
Thanks Jon730. That did put a little smirk on my face...
I'll try to think of that..
I'll try to think of that..
I am having a difficult time posting this to you, but I feel it important so here goes try # 3. 1st time i hit a wrong button, 2nd time electricity went off.
I just wanted to say my family also thought I was grieving too long. I found the wonderful people here and learned it is ok to take as long as you need to grieve and everyone is different. I just finished having a short cry. Haven't cried in 1 1/2 weeks. I think it makes me feel better. They also thought I was nuts to put up so many pictures of Sissy. There are 4 right here on the wall behind my computer so everytime I sit here (this is my usual spot) She is looking right back at me. I even had one blown up to 8x10 size. I had them at my work too. May sound crazy, but I would rub her pictures on her back as if I were rubbing here. Just a feeling that made me think she knows I still care.
Animals work in mysterious ways so maybe your dog experience was a sign. I believe I had a sign, but not like that. Just a few days after she had passed I was on my knees in the floor and I know it was her that rubbed up against me to let me know she is ok.
I hope your finals go well. I know Raggs would have wanted you to continue to do well. Raggs spirit is with you no matter where you go or what you do. He will help you through your finals!!!!!!
Many Hugs to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just wanted to say my family also thought I was grieving too long. I found the wonderful people here and learned it is ok to take as long as you need to grieve and everyone is different. I just finished having a short cry. Haven't cried in 1 1/2 weeks. I think it makes me feel better. They also thought I was nuts to put up so many pictures of Sissy. There are 4 right here on the wall behind my computer so everytime I sit here (this is my usual spot) She is looking right back at me. I even had one blown up to 8x10 size. I had them at my work too. May sound crazy, but I would rub her pictures on her back as if I were rubbing here. Just a feeling that made me think she knows I still care.
Animals work in mysterious ways so maybe your dog experience was a sign. I believe I had a sign, but not like that. Just a few days after she had passed I was on my knees in the floor and I know it was her that rubbed up against me to let me know she is ok.
I hope your finals go well. I know Raggs would have wanted you to continue to do well. Raggs spirit is with you no matter where you go or what you do. He will help you through your finals!!!!!!
Many Hugs to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sissycat, Thankyou for your post, 3rd time lucky.
No it doesnt sound crazy.
I have put up a...'shrine' if you like, under his favourite tree in my back garden. And as soon as i feel..'comfortable' looking at pictures of my Raggs, i too will have many pictures around the house...
In a way i think i was directed to this site...
I knew in my mind that i was starting to make the rest of my family...'uncomfortable' with my crying and grieving as a whole. It was wearing on them...
So i began to seek help and comfort via the Internet. I then came across this forum full of understanding loving people.
I keep praying for some sort of sign, i sit on the floor or in the garden hoping that i feel a brush against my arm or leg...anything.
But...maybe what happened to me today was a sign...i dont know, i'll never know.
Thankyou.
No it doesnt sound crazy.
I have put up a...'shrine' if you like, under his favourite tree in my back garden. And as soon as i feel..'comfortable' looking at pictures of my Raggs, i too will have many pictures around the house...
In a way i think i was directed to this site...
I knew in my mind that i was starting to make the rest of my family...'uncomfortable' with my crying and grieving as a whole. It was wearing on them...
So i began to seek help and comfort via the Internet. I then came across this forum full of understanding loving people.
I keep praying for some sort of sign, i sit on the floor or in the garden hoping that i feel a brush against my arm or leg...anything.
But...maybe what happened to me today was a sign...i dont know, i'll never know.
Thankyou.
QUOTE
I keep praying for some sort of sign, i sit on the floor or in the garden hoping that i feel a brush against my arm or leg...anything.
But...maybe what happened to me today was a sign...i dont know, i'll never know.
But...maybe what happened to me today was a sign...i dont know, i'll never know.
QUOTE
I was reluctant to stroke him but i kneeled and began to anyway, at which time my neighbour appeared looking somewhat shocked. He walked over and said 'wow thats unusual, he is very protective of my wife and i and only lets us pet him'...Something of which i already knew...I was shocked too.
A man was trapped on the roof of his house in a huge flood and the waters were rising. He prayed for a sign.
An hour later, a boat came by and he waved them off.."I am awaiting a sign!". They shrugged and left.
Later, another boat came by. He likewise waved them off.."I am awaiting a sign!!". The guys in the boat looked at each other, shrugged, and powered away.
The water were still rising, and it was getting toward Sundown. A helicopter circled overhead, but he waved them off. "I am waiting for a SIGN!!".
That night, he drowned and appeared before Saint Peter.
"I prayed and prayed for a sign, but one never came!!!"
"WE SENT YOU TWO BOATS AND A HELICOPTER!!!!!!"
________________________________________________________________________
Most people do not really believe in coincidences, deep down. Just accept the message from that dog who never liked you, and be glad of it.
Justme'
I had a Raggs too, a 15 yr and 5mos Bichon who passed away July5th 2oo6 and I miss him so much, time will help but allow yourself to grieve.
Raggs Human Mom
Joanne
I had a Raggs too, a 15 yr and 5mos Bichon who passed away July5th 2oo6 and I miss him so much, time will help but allow yourself to grieve.
Raggs Human Mom
Joanne
LoveThem,
Yeah the people on this forum are just...Angels...Everyone of you guys.
And yes, Jon730's post was...somewhat different..But in a good way. The end of his post made me smirk. I thank him for that.
You said: 'There is no time limit on grieving. One "size" does NOT fit all.'
I say: Since comming to this forum and reading peoples stories, i have realised that completley. I accept that now and in a way..feel comfortable knowing that.
Like i said, i do now grieve by myself, or here with you guys in this exact spot i find myself every night into the early hours.
I noticed for the first time while out walking today, just how many beloved pets their are in my neighbourhood. I never noticed it before but...it seemed like everywhere i turned their seemed to be some kind of loving friendship between a dog or cat and their owners...I just couldnt believe how i never noticed it before...
Probably because i had my own special friend and that was all that mattered.
You said: 'I love your story about the barking dog...but you know, it doesn't surprise me..because these sweethearts DO JUST KNOW when we are hurting inside..even when they are not our sweethearts'
I say: I know my Raggs always knew when i was hurting inside so yeah...In the back of my mind i kinda' knew it would apply to other special guys. I mean heck', i feel like its pulsating out of me at the moment. I guess that part of me found comfort in thinking that it was something..'higher'.
You said: 'But so many of these things come on so fast, we just do the best we can with the time given us to act.'
I agree, a lot of conditions do come on so fast..But since last Sunday, when my Raggs passed, I have looked into Kidney failure/disease...For my own sake i just needed to know the how's and why's of that condition that took him. I know that i am torturing myself here and that their is nothing i can do now but...I needed/wanted to know if their was anything i could of done, any tell-tale signs in the months or years leading up to last Sunday.
Yes Raggs was unusually calm at the vets...Which made me feel somewhat frustrated, in a way, angry, and the feeling i'll never forget...Sick to the bowls of my core.
Like a sledge hammer it hit me that their was something not right.
My indestructible best friend was sick.
If my Raggs suffered through pain that unforgetable Sunday morning, he didnt show it...*ugh' tears again*...not a cry nor yelp. If he was in pain...He didnt need to put on a brave face for me, that was my job, a brave face for him...Even though he could see through it everytime.
Yeah the people on this forum are just...Angels...Everyone of you guys.
And yes, Jon730's post was...somewhat different..But in a good way. The end of his post made me smirk. I thank him for that.
You said: 'There is no time limit on grieving. One "size" does NOT fit all.'
I say: Since comming to this forum and reading peoples stories, i have realised that completley. I accept that now and in a way..feel comfortable knowing that.
Like i said, i do now grieve by myself, or here with you guys in this exact spot i find myself every night into the early hours.
I noticed for the first time while out walking today, just how many beloved pets their are in my neighbourhood. I never noticed it before but...it seemed like everywhere i turned their seemed to be some kind of loving friendship between a dog or cat and their owners...I just couldnt believe how i never noticed it before...
Probably because i had my own special friend and that was all that mattered.
You said: 'I love your story about the barking dog...but you know, it doesn't surprise me..because these sweethearts DO JUST KNOW when we are hurting inside..even when they are not our sweethearts'
I say: I know my Raggs always knew when i was hurting inside so yeah...In the back of my mind i kinda' knew it would apply to other special guys. I mean heck', i feel like its pulsating out of me at the moment. I guess that part of me found comfort in thinking that it was something..'higher'.
You said: 'But so many of these things come on so fast, we just do the best we can with the time given us to act.'
I agree, a lot of conditions do come on so fast..But since last Sunday, when my Raggs passed, I have looked into Kidney failure/disease...For my own sake i just needed to know the how's and why's of that condition that took him. I know that i am torturing myself here and that their is nothing i can do now but...I needed/wanted to know if their was anything i could of done, any tell-tale signs in the months or years leading up to last Sunday.
Yes Raggs was unusually calm at the vets...Which made me feel somewhat frustrated, in a way, angry, and the feeling i'll never forget...Sick to the bowls of my core.
Like a sledge hammer it hit me that their was something not right.
My indestructible best friend was sick.
If my Raggs suffered through pain that unforgetable Sunday morning, he didnt show it...*ugh' tears again*...not a cry nor yelp. If he was in pain...He didnt need to put on a brave face for me, that was my job, a brave face for him...Even though he could see through it everytime.
QUOTE (Jon730 @ Jul 13 2008, 10:34 PM)
A man was trapped on the roof of his house in a huge flood and the waters were rising. He prayed for a sign.
An hour later, a boat came by and he waved them off.."I am awaiting a sign!". They shrugged and left.
Later, another boat came by. He likewise waved them off.."I am awaiting a sign!!". The guys in the boat looked at each other, shrugged, and powered away.
The water were still rising, and it was getting toward Sundown. A helicopter circled overhead, but he waved them off. "I am waiting for a SIGN!!".
That night, he drowned and appeared before Saint Peter.
"I prayed and prayed for a sign, but one never came!!!"
"WE SENT YOU TWO BOATS AND A HELICOPTER!!!!!!"
________________________________________________________________________
Most people do not really believe in coincidences, deep down. Just accept the message from that dog who never liked you, and be glad of it.
An hour later, a boat came by and he waved them off.."I am awaiting a sign!". They shrugged and left.
Later, another boat came by. He likewise waved them off.."I am awaiting a sign!!". The guys in the boat looked at each other, shrugged, and powered away.
The water were still rising, and it was getting toward Sundown. A helicopter circled overhead, but he waved them off. "I am waiting for a SIGN!!".
That night, he drowned and appeared before Saint Peter.
"I prayed and prayed for a sign, but one never came!!!"
"WE SENT YOU TWO BOATS AND A HELICOPTER!!!!!!"
________________________________________________________________________
Most people do not really believe in coincidences, deep down. Just accept the message from that dog who never liked you, and be glad of it.
Dont put my life on hold looking for/waiting for a clear sign that may never come...
Just accept and interpret the 'coincidences' and unusual happenings as they come..
?
QUOTE (JOANNE @ Jul 13 2008, 11:08 PM)
Justme'
I had a Raggs too, a 15 yr and 5mos Bichon who passed away July5th 2oo6 and I miss him so much, time will help but allow yourself to grieve.
Raggs Human Mom
Joanne
I had a Raggs too, a 15 yr and 5mos Bichon who passed away July5th 2oo6 and I miss him so much, time will help but allow yourself to grieve.
Raggs Human Mom
Joanne
Its nice to know that their were/are other special friends out their named Raggs.
Thankyou.
QUOTE (justme @ Jul 13 2008, 06:40 PM)
Dont put my life on hold looking for/waiting for a clear sign that may never come...
Just accept and interpret the 'coincidences' and unusual happenings as they come..
?
Just accept and interpret the 'coincidences' and unusual happenings as they come..
?
Yes, just let Raggs surprise you, and accept whatever comes and do not question anything that is good, happy, or positive.
Maybe you will be one of the lucky ones who sees a darting shadow at the edge of your vision..I did. Or a brush against your leg when you least expect it.
Or a dog that was always unfriendly suddenly adopting a posture that Raggs used, and suddenly showing you compassion and friendship for no reason at all!
Or maybe, even, you will look into the eyes of an animal in a shelter, and see him there, waiting for you to bring him home.
There was a post on here that addressed whether animals had souls.
Also: Cybershoulder Room: See: Visits From Your Babies After Passing On
QUOTE (justme @ Jul 13 2008, 06:33 PM)
I noticed for the first time while out walking today, just how many beloved pets their are in my neighbourhood. I never noticed it before but...it seemed like everywhere i turned their seemed to be some kind of loving friendship between a dog or cat and their owners...I just couldnt believe how i never noticed it before...
Probably because i had my own special friend and that was all that mattered.
Probably because i had my own special friend and that was all that mattered.
Over time you will notice many other things. Your own special friend has taught you how to appreciate everything much more. All of us tend to take things for granted........some more than others. When our lives come to a screeching halt after a loved one passes away we can realize that there are many moments in our everyday lives to notice. There is much beauty in this world...... take time to seize the special moments. Keep your heart and your eyes open and you will see many opportunities to grab onto many of the lessons Raggs taught you. Raggs will bring you many more "hellos" in the days to come. The barking dog that allowed you to pet him was no coincidence.
Goliath taught me to live each day one at a time. All I have is today....there is no promise of tomorrow.
I am sorry Raggs have passed away, but at the same time I am happy that you were so blessed in sharing the love he brought into your life. Raggs loving spirit is alive and well within you. Your hearts are bound and cannot be broken because the soul never dies. A love such as yours is everlasting.
Much love and comforting hugs from my heart to yours,
Beth
LoveThem,
I just...I'm not a religious person...In fact part of me has come to resent the thought of god over the past couple of years.
I dont mean to start a discussion about a higher power or god, nor do i mean disrespect to those who believe in god.
Just for me...It doesn't cut it...Nothing does.
I wish i did soley believe in a higher power..
But i just can't grasp it..But like you said..
'So who is to say they cannot let us know'..I hope their is something out their beyond our comprehension, i really do...heck' i know it would comfort me a little if i did..
But yes, i too have read stories and accounts of experiences that are...well, magical...And it does bring a flutter to my heart.
I too wonder how my neighbour's dog will react next time we lock eyes...quite nervous and anxious actually.
I know that eariler this evening the same neighbour who i described previously was taken away in an ambulance...I dont know why yet.
Thanks, i'll give Jon's thread a look, and Lucky's too.
Jon730,
I have seen flashes of darting shadows in the corner of my eye!...I quickly jerk my head but..nothing their. During the past week i've actually got up off of my seat to go and investigate, secretly hoping that someone is their.
The bigger part of me puts it down to exhaustion but...a part of me holds on and tells me to get up and go see.
I have read various articles etc, about animals having souls...Some not so positive, some tearful.
My best friend had a soul...No doubt.
Goliath,
I'de be the first to admit that i have taken things for granted.
Your words are beautiful Goliath, thankyou..
I just...I'm not a religious person...In fact part of me has come to resent the thought of god over the past couple of years.
I dont mean to start a discussion about a higher power or god, nor do i mean disrespect to those who believe in god.
Just for me...It doesn't cut it...Nothing does.
I wish i did soley believe in a higher power..
But i just can't grasp it..But like you said..
'So who is to say they cannot let us know'..I hope their is something out their beyond our comprehension, i really do...heck' i know it would comfort me a little if i did..
But yes, i too have read stories and accounts of experiences that are...well, magical...And it does bring a flutter to my heart.
I too wonder how my neighbour's dog will react next time we lock eyes...quite nervous and anxious actually.
I know that eariler this evening the same neighbour who i described previously was taken away in an ambulance...I dont know why yet.
Thanks, i'll give Jon's thread a look, and Lucky's too.
Jon730,
I have seen flashes of darting shadows in the corner of my eye!...I quickly jerk my head but..nothing their. During the past week i've actually got up off of my seat to go and investigate, secretly hoping that someone is their.
The bigger part of me puts it down to exhaustion but...a part of me holds on and tells me to get up and go see.
I have read various articles etc, about animals having souls...Some not so positive, some tearful.
My best friend had a soul...No doubt.
Goliath,
I'de be the first to admit that i have taken things for granted.
Your words are beautiful Goliath, thankyou..
Just wanted to ask if you knew of the Candle Ceremony that is on every Monday night? It has seemed to give me some comfort. You add for pet's name to the list. That also gave me comfort. My daughter and I actually light the candles with them.
QUOTE (sissycat @ Jul 14 2008, 08:26 PM)
Just wanted to ask if you knew of the Candle Ceremony that is on every Monday night? It has seemed to give me some comfort. You add for pet's name to the list. That also gave me comfort. My daughter and I actually light the candles with them.
erm..I dont believe i have no. On this website?, the main page?
Im in desperate need of something, anything so...
I'm so sorry to hear about Rags. Know this place has/is a tremondous help when going through the pain. Some days, when I really miss Candy, I'll come to boards and it comforts me. I hope it can comfort you as well.
I know no words can soothe you at this moment, but know we know the pain you are going through and know you are not alone. Please come and vent anytime and we'd love to hear more about Rags.
God bless.
Candy's Dad
I know no words can soothe you at this moment, but know we know the pain you are going through and know you are not alone. Please come and vent anytime and we'd love to hear more about Rags.
God bless.
Candy's Dad
Thankyou Candy's Dad i appreciate it,
I read your story about your beloved Candy. What a beautiful special friend.
I'm so sorry.
Yes, without the loving, caring people on this board...I cant imagine.
Again, thankyou.
I read your story about your beloved Candy. What a beautiful special friend.
I'm so sorry.
Yes, without the loving, caring people on this board...I cant imagine.
Again, thankyou.
Candle Ceremony
go to www.lightning-strike.com/
click on the links, then scroll down to the Monday Pet Loss Candle Ceremony
Add your Pet's name to the Rainbow Bridge. (they update every Monday)
Then go back to the main page, click links again, then click on Monday Pet Loss Candle Ceremony words. Scroll down and it will tell you when for your time zone. Keep scrolling down till you get to enter chat room. Just pick a name and connect. The ceremony is done throught this chat room.
There are many great people to talk to here also.
You should also read The Rainbow Bridge if you have not read it yet.
Hope this is some help and not confusing.
Hope to see you there. My screen name is kitten322003
go to www.lightning-strike.com/
click on the links, then scroll down to the Monday Pet Loss Candle Ceremony
Add your Pet's name to the Rainbow Bridge. (they update every Monday)
Then go back to the main page, click links again, then click on Monday Pet Loss Candle Ceremony words. Scroll down and it will tell you when for your time zone. Keep scrolling down till you get to enter chat room. Just pick a name and connect. The ceremony is done throught this chat room.
There are many great people to talk to here also.
You should also read The Rainbow Bridge if you have not read it yet.
Hope this is some help and not confusing.
Hope to see you there. My screen name is kitten322003
Thankyou sissycat, no your directions were clear.
Justme,
I've been thinking about you. Hope you're doing ok. Hang in there. Tell more stories and share some pics.
Deanna
I've been thinking about you. Hope you're doing ok. Hang in there. Tell more stories and share some pics.
Deanna
Justme you are on my mind this morning. Just wanted to let you know. Hope you are feeling a little better today.
Many Hugs to You!!!!!!!!!
Many Hugs to You!!!!!!!!!
Deanna,
Thankyou Deanna, i will share many pictures and stories as soon as i feel..'comfortable'
My heart aches so much i just cant bring myself to any pictures just yet...
sissycat,
A thankyou to you too. I appreciate it.
I will add my special friend's name to the candle light ceremont for next Monday.
Well again, today was another tough one...It just doesn't seem to let up. My heart feels heavier than ever and i still feel sick in my stomach. When i think i'm all cried out, they soon start again. But thankfully not as much.
Half of me feels missing. Half of me IS missing.
I posted earlier about how after my Raggs passed, i suddenly noticed how many beloved pets their are in my neighbourhood. While out walking today, and seeing these beloved pets playing fetch or simply walking along side THEIR special friend, i felt...Well my heart would sink a little further, my eyes would fill up a little and then something new, a little anger
I THINK i know why but please, anyone pitch in with their own view.
I think it was because i saw what i once had. And that what i had, was taken away..
?
Will this...progress? get worse? subside?...
Thankyou Deanna, i will share many pictures and stories as soon as i feel..'comfortable'
My heart aches so much i just cant bring myself to any pictures just yet...
sissycat,
A thankyou to you too. I appreciate it.
I will add my special friend's name to the candle light ceremont for next Monday.
Well again, today was another tough one...It just doesn't seem to let up. My heart feels heavier than ever and i still feel sick in my stomach. When i think i'm all cried out, they soon start again. But thankfully not as much.
Half of me feels missing. Half of me IS missing.
I posted earlier about how after my Raggs passed, i suddenly noticed how many beloved pets their are in my neighbourhood. While out walking today, and seeing these beloved pets playing fetch or simply walking along side THEIR special friend, i felt...Well my heart would sink a little further, my eyes would fill up a little and then something new, a little anger
I THINK i know why but please, anyone pitch in with their own view.
I think it was because i saw what i once had. And that what i had, was taken away..
?
Will this...progress? get worse? subside?...
Well said LoveThem!!!!
Wish I could do more for you. Just being here and listening and letting you know we have been in your position. I went through all the different stages of grief. I'm not done yet, but I am so much better after 5 1/2 weeks than at first. It is a bumpy roller coaster ride. (someone posted that to me) It is so very true.
Just hang in there and know we are all here for you!!!!
Many Many Hugs to you!!
Wish I could do more for you. Just being here and listening and letting you know we have been in your position. I went through all the different stages of grief. I'm not done yet, but I am so much better after 5 1/2 weeks than at first. It is a bumpy roller coaster ride. (someone posted that to me) It is so very true.
Just hang in there and know we are all here for you!!!!
Many Many Hugs to you!!
I could not have said that better. Raging at the unfairness and cruelty of the situation is normal, and a little bit of it is healthy. A little!
It motivates one out of the whirlpool of despair and turns some of the bad feelings outward.
But brooding on this aspect is not good, as it can lead to bad places...(Like I did when the Bad Vet killed Pepper with an overdose of stupidity.)
I was THIS close to calling Al "the Bear" from Providence and having his legs broken. Or Worse.
Louie "The Fox" would have done it cheaper, but that was because he ENJOYED it, and didn't like to stop....
I mean there has to be realistic PERSPECTIVE in these things.
But that is all to illustrate not to go too far down one road or the other. Not too much anger, not too much despair, and just keep all the wonderful years and memories handy to neutralize the poison. Rather than think of what you lost, think of what you gained.
Just because we pay at the end all at once does not mean the price was too high, does it? If I had never met Miles, I would not have had the pain at the end, but I would not have become a more loving person for bringing her into my life, or saving hers. She paid me and paid me and paid me, a thousand times over.
Sometimes we realize that the love we get from a pet is what most people WISH they got from a human..Total dedication, no excuses, no judgements, no conditions, and complete acceptance of who we are.
A perfect love, when you think of it.
What's that worth? Pain at the end. Looking back, it's not really too expensive, is it?
It motivates one out of the whirlpool of despair and turns some of the bad feelings outward.
But brooding on this aspect is not good, as it can lead to bad places...(Like I did when the Bad Vet killed Pepper with an overdose of stupidity.)
I was THIS close to calling Al "the Bear" from Providence and having his legs broken. Or Worse.
Louie "The Fox" would have done it cheaper, but that was because he ENJOYED it, and didn't like to stop....
I mean there has to be realistic PERSPECTIVE in these things.
But that is all to illustrate not to go too far down one road or the other. Not too much anger, not too much despair, and just keep all the wonderful years and memories handy to neutralize the poison. Rather than think of what you lost, think of what you gained.
Just because we pay at the end all at once does not mean the price was too high, does it? If I had never met Miles, I would not have had the pain at the end, but I would not have become a more loving person for bringing her into my life, or saving hers. She paid me and paid me and paid me, a thousand times over.
Sometimes we realize that the love we get from a pet is what most people WISH they got from a human..Total dedication, no excuses, no judgements, no conditions, and complete acceptance of who we are.
A perfect love, when you think of it.
What's that worth? Pain at the end. Looking back, it's not really too expensive, is it?
QUOTE (justme @ Jul 15 2008, 03:39 PM)
I posted earlier about how after my Raggs passed, i suddenly noticed how many beloved pets their are in my neighbourhood. While out walking today, and seeing these beloved pets playing fetch or simply walking along side THEIR special friend, i felt...Well my heart would sink a little further, my eyes would fill up a little and then something new, a little anger
Will this...progress? get worse? subside?...
Will this...progress? get worse? subside?...
The many different emotions I went through after Goliath passed were sooooooooo many. I can't even list them all. Eventually I just couldn't take it anymore and completely shut down emotionally and did nothing I didn't absolutely have to. The roller coaster I was on seemed wreckless as well as endless.............I was on a one way track going nowhere. Two months after Goliath passed away I found LS and found the beginning of my journey down a very long road. Except this road has led me to places where I find inspiration, encouragment, hope, understanding, acceptance, and peace. As I take each baby step down the road of recovery I pick up another small piece of my broken heart. The pieces are many and the journey is long and sometimes weary. All was and IS worth it. I wouldn't trade one second of the time I had in this world for anything.
You ask will this progress? Little by little it will....but only if you let it. Worse? It got worse for me before it began to get any better. Subside? Yes it will eventually. Everybody is different and we all find various ways that work for us as we make our way through the grief and deep agonizing pain of losing our furry kid.
Look within yourself for what you struggle with. Reach deep and you will feel Raggs love is so much alive. As you feel the warmth of his sunshine and the goodness in your heart, you too will begin to remember all the wonderful memories you made together.............and smile because he enriched your life so much.
Much love and comfort from my heart to yours,
Beth
LoveThem,
again, thankyou. Your words never fail to give me a little comfort.
You said that you understand about how half of me is missing...
In your experience/opinion...Will that aspect of things 'heal'? or..I mean thats one aspect of this whole..terrible thing that i just cant see healing...That half of me is just irreplaceable.
I'm gonna' be honest and i dont mind saying this because i am not ashamed or embarrassed and i think its important to illustrate my position a little more, but, i dont have any friends at all and i haven't had any friends since High School. Sure their are people i say 'hi' too across campus but thats it. I wont go into the how's and why's but its never bothered me because all the love and friendship i needed was from my Raggs.
sissycat,
Thankyou.
I too have read a post describing this as a bumpy roller coaster ride.
I myself, cant really see that yet as it feels like i haven't gone up to go back down.
But i get what you mean. Maybe one day feeling 'ok'...A week later, a few tears...
Thankyou so much for your post. I really appreciate it.
Jon730,
Thankyou, again another smirk.
I agree, i know within myself that brooding on the anger aspect cannot be good.
And your right...Thinking of what i gained rather than what i have lost sounds good.
But the thing is...While a large part of me is going through this whole terrible process...Another part of me still cant get my head around that he's gone. It just...It wont go in, i cant seem to process it. I've sat down alone and told myself out loud that he has gone, but it just doesnt register...
The last part of your post hit it straight on (in my eyes). Granted i'm only 22 but i dont think the love of which you described exisits between humans. I'm sorry if i make anyone feel a little uncomfortable by saying what i just did but, thats kinda' how i see it. Maybe i'm wrong, maybe i'm right.
goliath,
Wow..Beth, your words really hit home. I too think i'm heading down a little...'blurry' road.
I can honestly say that without the people on this forum...i'de be just a little more lost.
Thankyou for your kind words. They mean so much..
again, thankyou. Your words never fail to give me a little comfort.
You said that you understand about how half of me is missing...
In your experience/opinion...Will that aspect of things 'heal'? or..I mean thats one aspect of this whole..terrible thing that i just cant see healing...That half of me is just irreplaceable.
I'm gonna' be honest and i dont mind saying this because i am not ashamed or embarrassed and i think its important to illustrate my position a little more, but, i dont have any friends at all and i haven't had any friends since High School. Sure their are people i say 'hi' too across campus but thats it. I wont go into the how's and why's but its never bothered me because all the love and friendship i needed was from my Raggs.
sissycat,
Thankyou.
I too have read a post describing this as a bumpy roller coaster ride.
I myself, cant really see that yet as it feels like i haven't gone up to go back down.
But i get what you mean. Maybe one day feeling 'ok'...A week later, a few tears...
Thankyou so much for your post. I really appreciate it.
Jon730,
Thankyou, again another smirk.
I agree, i know within myself that brooding on the anger aspect cannot be good.
And your right...Thinking of what i gained rather than what i have lost sounds good.
But the thing is...While a large part of me is going through this whole terrible process...Another part of me still cant get my head around that he's gone. It just...It wont go in, i cant seem to process it. I've sat down alone and told myself out loud that he has gone, but it just doesnt register...
The last part of your post hit it straight on (in my eyes). Granted i'm only 22 but i dont think the love of which you described exisits between humans. I'm sorry if i make anyone feel a little uncomfortable by saying what i just did but, thats kinda' how i see it. Maybe i'm wrong, maybe i'm right.
goliath,
Wow..Beth, your words really hit home. I too think i'm heading down a little...'blurry' road.
I can honestly say that without the people on this forum...i'de be just a little more lost.
Thankyou for your kind words. They mean so much..
QUOTE
The last part of your post hit it straight on (in my eyes). Granted i'm only 22 but i dont think the love of which you described exisits between humans. I'm sorry if i make anyone feel a little uncomfortable by saying what i just did but, thats kinda' how i see it. Maybe i'm wrong, maybe i'm right.
Oh, I have experienced it but only in certain phases of a relationship, then it shifts.
Animals have no foreknowledge of agiing, sickness, or death, so they never need to question or doubt because they live in the present.
We live a long time, and know what's coming. We live long enough for the ideal aspects of a relationship to shift. We live long enough to be disappointed.
The only "Happily ever after" comes from a pet.
Do not get me wrong..I have been married over forty years, and it's a good one...Better than anyones' we know.
But I will not be annoyed by a pet if he forgets to pay the bills, and the pet will not be annoyed with me if I forget to mow the lawn.
We never argue. (Because my wife is a firearms instructor! She's more accurate, I am faster-it's a standoff.) But we do drive each other crazy.
Iggy only drives me crazy for a few minutes at bedtime when he attacks my feet. Sam only drives my wife crazy when Sam tries to sleep on her face.
Other than that. it's idyllic.
I guess i just thought the 'Happily ever after' would be exactly that...
My indestructable Raggs. Who could overcome anything and would always be their..
If ever a slight thought of ageing crept into my mind, i could easily push it aside. Helped of course by his...and i'm wondering, 'brave face' and liveliness...Maybe if i had just...done something, anything.
He rescued me in so many ways, even from the brink of death...And whatever i did, even when he was by my side, i could never repay that. Even in the very end. And that will forever haunt me.
Maybe if i had let those ageing thoughts enter my mind, i could get my head around it all now...
That does actually sound idyllic
My indestructable Raggs. Who could overcome anything and would always be their..
If ever a slight thought of ageing crept into my mind, i could easily push it aside. Helped of course by his...and i'm wondering, 'brave face' and liveliness...Maybe if i had just...done something, anything.
He rescued me in so many ways, even from the brink of death...And whatever i did, even when he was by my side, i could never repay that. Even in the very end. And that will forever haunt me.
Maybe if i had let those ageing thoughts enter my mind, i could get my head around it all now...
That does actually sound idyllic
LoveThem,
I understand, thankyou for answering.
I'm sorry if all these questions seen a little...Dumb or obvious but as i said, this is my first major loss and i just want to head down the "right" direction.
So it's my finals tommorow..I've GOT TO go, i know that now. I just hope that i can hold it together and my brain will somehow engage. Normally around this time (the night before), i am extremely nervous and 'paniky' about the exam, but...If anything, i'm just nervous about holding it together. Not the exam.
Once tommorow is over, and if i come out of the other end, i am going to sit down and go through my photographs...Another 'feat' in itself.
I understand, thankyou for answering.
I'm sorry if all these questions seen a little...Dumb or obvious but as i said, this is my first major loss and i just want to head down the "right" direction.
So it's my finals tommorow..I've GOT TO go, i know that now. I just hope that i can hold it together and my brain will somehow engage. Normally around this time (the night before), i am extremely nervous and 'paniky' about the exam, but...If anything, i'm just nervous about holding it together. Not the exam.
Once tommorow is over, and if i come out of the other end, i am going to sit down and go through my photographs...Another 'feat' in itself.
QUOTE (Jon730 @ Jul 16 2008, 05:08 PM)
But I will not be annoyed by a pet if he forgets to pay the bills, and the pet will not be annoyed with me if I forget to mow the lawn.
That's the beauty in animals. Because they aren't concerned about our everyday troubles and annoyances they help us to ground ourselves which helps to balance our hearts and minds. Today I worry far less about aging and death and pay more attention to what is being offered to me in a new day. The here and now is all I have and if I awaken tomorrow, today will be but a memory.
Keep Raggs closest to your heart and let his loving spirit walk right by your side. Hold your chin up high and feel his warm love that is in your heart now and for always.
Much love with comforting hugs,
Beth
Hi loneredhorse, I am so sorry you lost your Raggs. You had a very special bond that will never die. I understand your hurt. You gave him a happy life and a purpose in this world to help you get thru your tough time. You were lucky to have found eachother. I lost my cat Arthur a little over a month ago. I still can't speak of him without tears. He was only 2 1/2. It had been 16yrs since my last pet. Mainly because I thought I would never find another like her or love another like I did my Daisy. I was skiddish of Arthur. I kind of closed my heart to him at first. But it didn't take long before I fell in love all over again. No, he wasn't Daisy and you will never have another like Raggs, but when the time is right, you will find another companion and love it just as much. And after going thru this you'll value every moment with them. One of the topics here was remembering the good times. All I could think of was every moment I spent with him. It's going to take time and like everyone has said the joy of having them around out-wieghs the pain of losing them. In time you'll realize that. I wish you well, and speedy healing. This is a great site. I hope it helps. Ann
goliath,
Thankyou, your words always provide me with some comfort.
ann,
I too think that i will never find another like my Raggs or be able to give a piece of my heart to another. Part of me feels like i would be...'disrespecting' my Raggs...I just couldnt.
I dont think it would be fair on anyone. My new furry one, me...
its 'justme' by the way, not 'loneredhorse'
LoveThem,
Your right in everything you said. It never even occured to me to look at it like that. I think maybe i just thought that all my questions might..I dunno'. But anyway one thing's for sure, if it wasn't for the people on this forum..I wouldnt know what to do, which road to head down or what feelings are 'normal'...
My exam, well i just dont know...Parts of today are just a blur. Kinda' like when you get in your car to drive home from somewhere and then all of a sudden your home. 'autopilot' i guess. The other parts were just sick feelings in my stomach and my heart aching. I swear sometimes it feels like it's just gonna' physically cave in...
But my heart just wasn't in it. Its not really into anything anymore. Maybe my previous revision got me some grades, i dont know. I wont know until early September anyway so..
Thankyou, your words always provide me with some comfort.
ann,
I too think that i will never find another like my Raggs or be able to give a piece of my heart to another. Part of me feels like i would be...'disrespecting' my Raggs...I just couldnt.
I dont think it would be fair on anyone. My new furry one, me...
its 'justme' by the way, not 'loneredhorse'
LoveThem,
Your right in everything you said. It never even occured to me to look at it like that. I think maybe i just thought that all my questions might..I dunno'. But anyway one thing's for sure, if it wasn't for the people on this forum..I wouldnt know what to do, which road to head down or what feelings are 'normal'...
My exam, well i just dont know...Parts of today are just a blur. Kinda' like when you get in your car to drive home from somewhere and then all of a sudden your home. 'autopilot' i guess. The other parts were just sick feelings in my stomach and my heart aching. I swear sometimes it feels like it's just gonna' physically cave in...
But my heart just wasn't in it. Its not really into anything anymore. Maybe my previous revision got me some grades, i dont know. I wont know until early September anyway so..
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