My Denis past away on the 21st December 2006, he was (still is) a beautiful 14 year old black cat and had chronic kidney failure. With the aid of tablets we managed to keep his condition under control for a year until two weeks ago when his levels shot through the roof and he was off his food. The vets took him in to be put on a drip for 3 days where I was allowed to visit him. He picked up a little whilst I was there and I told them he was unhappy with the drip in his arm so they said they would keep him in one more day then I could take him home for the weekend to see if he picked up when he was back in his own home, if not then we would have to think of the inevitable.
There was little change Friday night, and throughout Saturday and was still didn't eat. The only think that seemed to comfort him was an inordinate amount of cuddles which I gave him.
On Sunday there was a complete turnabout and he wolfed down 3 bowls of food and was up and about walking, albeit a bit wobbly. On Monday he went back to the vets and I told them of the positive day previous we had had and they let me take him home again and said if he goes downhill again then there would be little we could do for him. Denis again had given up eating and all he wanted was to be held and kissed and cuddled, which he reciprocated back with such passion and force it was heart wrenching, I had never known him to be like this.
Denis was now very weak and falling over a lot so I had to make the decision for the vet to come round to the house so we could do 'it' together with him in my arms in the chair that we had spent so many hours together sharing so much.
It's the worst thing I have ever ever had to do in my life. The guilt is insurmountable.
I told him that, that night we would turn on the Xmas lights, find the brightest star in the sky and make a wish for him. We carried him outside with us wrapped up in his box and made a wish. I said I would light a candle for him everynight until the New Year.
Tonight even though I will be alone I will try not to be upset. I've gone through every emotion possible from guilt to anger to sadness and back again but tonight I will try to be happy for him. I miss him more than words can explain and its a horrible place to be in right now.
I like to think that I was his earth mother whilst he was here and needed me and now he has left and made that big journey on his own. With every end there is always a beginning.
There is no comfort at a time like this, only, I know I am not going through this alone.
Love you always Denis, I miss you so much it is unbearable. Peace be with you my man, there will never ever be another Denis, eternally yours. ************xx
Full Version: My Heart Bleeds
Your guilt, your sadness, your anger....it's a terrible ordeal to lose one of the greatest things you ever loved in your whole life. I was extremely moved by your post and it took some contemplation & settling down before coming back to write. Christmas will never be the same for you but that is a smaller issue right now and I can bet you are one of the many here that are glad it is over. YOU are the main concern here right now. I lost my baby Chase about 6 weeks ago and it still hurts....but then...the loss always will. I have learned from here what you do after for yourself is what counts.
I cried hard when I read that. There are things I read in this place that move me tremendously. What a wonderful thing to do! How noble and kind of you! Your guilt will pass once that monster gets tired of you. Realization will dictate that you let him "rest eternal" out of love. I know that you did, your post was very successful in demonstrating that! You are not alone. This place is saturated with terrible sadness & broken lives. But in amongst that there is much empathy and hope. It felt like I would never get better....that horrible place you are in right now, I have seen it and can go there in a heartbeat if I think about that gut-wrenching day for too long. But like the Phoenix that rises from the ashes, you will triumph over the guilt, the anger, and the profuse grief that will surely dominate your life for the brutal days yet to come. There is great compasion and understanding here because we have all felt what you are feeling. Yes...you were his guardian on earth during his short reign here but this place is just a moment in the greater scheme of what happens after we depart this place. You stated "another beginning". It's the part of the journey we the living dread for our furbabies...because they go on alone without us.
I salute you for your insight maam. Your belief in that kind of journey will makes Denis' journey complete....but not easy because Denis is there and you are here, but that is why you came here, isn't it? And speaking of here...post a picture of your furbaby if you can or want. Most do. It gives your Denis another sense of imortality...besides the journey. Lastly...be kind to yourself, come often, write much. It helps. I feel your pain, I am sorry for your loss.
QUOTE
I told him that, that night we would turn on the Xmas lights, find the brightest star in the sky and make a wish for him. We carried him outside with us wrapped up in his box and made a wish. I said I would light a candle for him everynight until the New Year
I cried hard when I read that. There are things I read in this place that move me tremendously. What a wonderful thing to do! How noble and kind of you! Your guilt will pass once that monster gets tired of you. Realization will dictate that you let him "rest eternal" out of love. I know that you did, your post was very successful in demonstrating that! You are not alone. This place is saturated with terrible sadness & broken lives. But in amongst that there is much empathy and hope. It felt like I would never get better....that horrible place you are in right now, I have seen it and can go there in a heartbeat if I think about that gut-wrenching day for too long. But like the Phoenix that rises from the ashes, you will triumph over the guilt, the anger, and the profuse grief that will surely dominate your life for the brutal days yet to come. There is great compasion and understanding here because we have all felt what you are feeling. Yes...you were his guardian on earth during his short reign here but this place is just a moment in the greater scheme of what happens after we depart this place. You stated "another beginning". It's the part of the journey we the living dread for our furbabies...because they go on alone without us.
QUOTE
I like to think that I was his earth mother whilst he was here and needed me and now he has left and made that big journey on his own. With every end there is always a beginning
I salute you for your insight maam. Your belief in that kind of journey will makes Denis' journey complete....but not easy because Denis is there and you are here, but that is why you came here, isn't it? And speaking of here...post a picture of your furbaby if you can or want. Most do. It gives your Denis another sense of imortality...besides the journey. Lastly...be kind to yourself, come often, write much. It helps. I feel your pain, I am sorry for your loss.
Thank you for your kind words and I said to myself that I wouldn't cry today! It has taken me a while to get back to you to thank you. Like the Phoenix, Denis will rise from the ashes and so will I.
Even though the kidney disease had made him almost completely blind he never let that stop him, he had att*itude, and the right att*itude to cope with little sight. He never gave up, he was a fighter through and through.
Tonight I shall be looking for him in the sky.
Thank you once again.
Even though the kidney disease had made him almost completely blind he never let that stop him, he had att*itude, and the right att*itude to cope with little sight. He never gave up, he was a fighter through and through.
Tonight I shall be looking for him in the sky.
Thank you once again.
First of all I want to say that I am so sorry for your loss.Your Dennis sounds like such a sweet boy.All of the feelings you are having right now are completely normal.Guilt is the big one and it will eat you alive if you let it....please try not to feel guilty.You did what was best for him and he knew that.It's the hardest thing in the world to have to say good bye to a pet that we love like a family member.I know what your going thur because I've been there myself.On Oct. 13th I had to make the decision to put my beautiful boy Sox to sleep.He had feline diabetes and his kidneys were failing.He was in pain and I couldn't put him thur anymore.He had had enough...We made the decision but I still felt guilty about it.I learned from this site that it doesn't help you to feel that way.It only makes the pain that much worse.You did what you did out of love for him.He knew that you loved him and he knew you did the right thing.Your post moved me so much and you could just feel the love you have for him in your words.Please come here as often as you need to and when your up to it tell us some more about your boy.Post a picture if your up to it,we would love to see it.My thoughts and prayers will be with you tonight and I hope you can soon find some peace.We understand what your going and we're here for you.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)
I'm so sorry for your loss. It has been just over three weeks since I lost my Alley and the tears never seem to be far off.
The stars are a wonderful place for her, Denis, and the others, to be there waiting for us.
The stars are a wonderful place for her, Denis, and the others, to be there waiting for us.
I'm so very sorry you lost your Denis. It's so hard to lose them. You have nothing to feel guilty about, you loved Denis his whole life and you loved him through his death. It's one of the things we accept we will have to do when we get a fur baby to love.
He showed you how much he understood what you would have to do by loving you so much on Friday and Saturday, you gave him his comfort. You were so lucky to have each other for 14 years.
We lost our Moose kitty on Oct. 23rd. He was only 10. I understand where you are at right now. I wish so much I could be more help.
I too would love to see a picture of him, when you can. He will always be your bright and shining star.
Thinking of you
Lori
He showed you how much he understood what you would have to do by loving you so much on Friday and Saturday, you gave him his comfort. You were so lucky to have each other for 14 years.
We lost our Moose kitty on Oct. 23rd. He was only 10. I understand where you are at right now. I wish so much I could be more help.
I too would love to see a picture of him, when you can. He will always be your bright and shining star.
Thinking of you
Lori
Renee, Alleys Mama & Lori and everyone else out there,
I had just started to write some thanks to you all when there was a power cut and I lost everything so now I am having so start all over again.
What I had started to say was thank you for all your kind words, thoughts and compassion, it all means a great deal and means that no one has to go through the grieving process alone. These are bad times for us all but when hands reach out across the ocean to share the experience, offer support, kindness and compassion, it is truely a great act.
With each new day the guilt takes less of a hold and allows kinder, much nicer memories to surface and allows us space to remember these. What we did was an act of true committment to love, to face the situation truthfully where no further action will avail and the only way to go is to let go. We face the pain because it means there is nothing further that can be done, we let go, we bow to fate as an acceptance of an ending. The future cannot be manipulate and we go empty handed in to the unknown.
What we have left now are our memories, happy and sad, and without sharing their lives we would never have these. They leave us with big holes in our heart, a big aching void, but like every great cat, one day we will lick our wound and get right back up again. Like Spring returning again into our lives we will one day be filled with renewed hope and promise in life once more. As one chapter ends a new one always begins and its hard to look forward when we are still looking back. With the New Year we bring forward the happy memories and the good times shared, which means that they won't be continually locked in the old year. It is hard to be philosophical about death when were are surrounded by such pain and sorrow, I have moments of calmness but I still have moments when the bad memories come back to haunt me or should I say taunt me, but time as they say is a great healer and I know this is true.
I will share this strange thing with you that happened the other night, it might make me sound like a lunatic but this is what happened.
I think my Denis may shown me a choice the other night, I awoke in the middle of the night, my heart was racing so fast I thought it was going to explode, my whole body was pounding with the force, I jumped out of bed so fast and shouted 'Denis, I am not ready to go, I have four others to look after who need me here'. This was all in the space of seconds and slowly my heartbeat returned to normal. I've no idea where those words came from, this was at 3am in the morning and I was still half asleep. And besides I actually have five who need me not four.
Yes, perhaps I was having a panic attack in my sleep but perhaps Denis was giving me a big kick up the backside and saying even though your thoughts are to slowly curl up and die, given the choice, you choose life, because your job is not done there yet, and that indeed was what I needed to remember.
So yes whatever it was I think there was a message in there for me to think about, no matter how bad things are, we are still needed here. Each and everyone of us. Observe the pain and stick with it, we will all get through it at some point.
Yesterday I found up all my photos of Denis, to choose one to post of him here on this site, it was very sad to see his face all over again, and brought all those tears flooding back, I have chosen one of him in his mid-life where he is looking his most handsome and free from the ravages of time. I'm sure he would agree and say 'don't put that one of me on there, with all my grey hairs and me looking old, put that one on of me looking young and beautiful!' So this I will do in the next few days for you all to see. My partner will be back tomorrow and will be able to do this for me as I'm a bit of a techonphobe!
Be kind to yourselves
E.M - Debbie
I had just started to write some thanks to you all when there was a power cut and I lost everything so now I am having so start all over again.
What I had started to say was thank you for all your kind words, thoughts and compassion, it all means a great deal and means that no one has to go through the grieving process alone. These are bad times for us all but when hands reach out across the ocean to share the experience, offer support, kindness and compassion, it is truely a great act.
With each new day the guilt takes less of a hold and allows kinder, much nicer memories to surface and allows us space to remember these. What we did was an act of true committment to love, to face the situation truthfully where no further action will avail and the only way to go is to let go. We face the pain because it means there is nothing further that can be done, we let go, we bow to fate as an acceptance of an ending. The future cannot be manipulate and we go empty handed in to the unknown.
What we have left now are our memories, happy and sad, and without sharing their lives we would never have these. They leave us with big holes in our heart, a big aching void, but like every great cat, one day we will lick our wound and get right back up again. Like Spring returning again into our lives we will one day be filled with renewed hope and promise in life once more. As one chapter ends a new one always begins and its hard to look forward when we are still looking back. With the New Year we bring forward the happy memories and the good times shared, which means that they won't be continually locked in the old year. It is hard to be philosophical about death when were are surrounded by such pain and sorrow, I have moments of calmness but I still have moments when the bad memories come back to haunt me or should I say taunt me, but time as they say is a great healer and I know this is true.
I will share this strange thing with you that happened the other night, it might make me sound like a lunatic but this is what happened.
I think my Denis may shown me a choice the other night, I awoke in the middle of the night, my heart was racing so fast I thought it was going to explode, my whole body was pounding with the force, I jumped out of bed so fast and shouted 'Denis, I am not ready to go, I have four others to look after who need me here'. This was all in the space of seconds and slowly my heartbeat returned to normal. I've no idea where those words came from, this was at 3am in the morning and I was still half asleep. And besides I actually have five who need me not four.
Yes, perhaps I was having a panic attack in my sleep but perhaps Denis was giving me a big kick up the backside and saying even though your thoughts are to slowly curl up and die, given the choice, you choose life, because your job is not done there yet, and that indeed was what I needed to remember.
So yes whatever it was I think there was a message in there for me to think about, no matter how bad things are, we are still needed here. Each and everyone of us. Observe the pain and stick with it, we will all get through it at some point.
Yesterday I found up all my photos of Denis, to choose one to post of him here on this site, it was very sad to see his face all over again, and brought all those tears flooding back, I have chosen one of him in his mid-life where he is looking his most handsome and free from the ravages of time. I'm sure he would agree and say 'don't put that one of me on there, with all my grey hairs and me looking old, put that one on of me looking young and beautiful!' So this I will do in the next few days for you all to see. My partner will be back tomorrow and will be able to do this for me as I'm a bit of a techonphobe!
Be kind to yourselves
E.M - Debbie
Debbie
It's hard to be philosophical about death at this point in your grief, it's just too new and it hurts too much. You actually seem to be doing very well, you are thinking and putting your thoughts down wonderfully.
I think your Denis was giving you a good kick, so to speak. It's so easy to just want to go with them, but there are always others who still need you. At first I was too hurt and upset to 'hear' what my baby was trying to say to me, it took me about a month to calm down enough he could come through.
Thinking of you and Denis
Lori
It's hard to be philosophical about death at this point in your grief, it's just too new and it hurts too much. You actually seem to be doing very well, you are thinking and putting your thoughts down wonderfully.
I think your Denis was giving you a good kick, so to speak. It's so easy to just want to go with them, but there are always others who still need you. At first I was too hurt and upset to 'hear' what my baby was trying to say to me, it took me about a month to calm down enough he could come through.
Thinking of you and Denis
Lori
....and i thought I was doing so well in coping.
The post just arrived, there was an envelope with my name on it that looked like a late Christmas card, I opened it up and there was a picture of a beautiful cat on the front. I opened it up and it was from the vets, a deepest sympathy card, signed by everyone, including a message from Rosy that just said 'you tried so hard'. I just dropped the card to the floor and burst out crying. I felt like I had just been kicked in the stomach. I can't bear to look at it, it makes this all seem to real. A lovely gesture I know but oh so painful. I'm crying too much now to type so I've got to go now and lick my wounds
The post just arrived, there was an envelope with my name on it that looked like a late Christmas card, I opened it up and there was a picture of a beautiful cat on the front. I opened it up and it was from the vets, a deepest sympathy card, signed by everyone, including a message from Rosy that just said 'you tried so hard'. I just dropped the card to the floor and burst out crying. I felt like I had just been kicked in the stomach. I can't bear to look at it, it makes this all seem to real. A lovely gesture I know but oh so painful. I'm crying too much now to type so I've got to go now and lick my wounds
QUOTE
I will share this strange thing with you that happened the other night, it might make me sound like a lunatic but this is what happened.
For what it's worth, you don't sound like a lunatic to me.
All I know for sure is you miss your beautiful friend and it hurts like hell. And I hope you're not still buying into the guilt of making the unselfish decision for him. It's only been 5 days since I had to say those words on behalf of my boy. As much as it hurt me, better I hurt emotionally now than put it off while he suffers physically.
I'm especially fond of black cats. Got two bossy old ones with me. Just something about them -- like they think they're special because they know they've got that whole thing about giving you bad luck if they want to. Here's a silly thought for you: Do you think Denis and my Black Cats who crossed (Moon Cat & Magic) are hanging out at the kitty poker tables in cat heaven? They'd always win because they'd give the other cat's bad luck. Sorry about that other kitty moms!
I hoped that helped you smile for just a second.
Peace&Love
V-Angel
That did make me smile for a second, the thought of kitty poker tables in cat heaven! Moon Cat, Magic, Denis and my other two black cats, Whoosh and Marshall would make a good team!
I think Denis will be doing quite well at kitty poker, he could be quite cheeky at times, he was a bit of a risk taker right from the word go.
He was one cat who knew that he had nine lives and how to live each and every one of them.
Even with his tiny amount of sight he would still go charging about the house, jumping up onto things, and miss sometimes as well! There was just no stopping him sometimes.
I'm sure he will have a few tricks up his sleeve....!
I think Denis will be doing quite well at kitty poker, he could be quite cheeky at times, he was a bit of a risk taker right from the word go.
He was one cat who knew that he had nine lives and how to live each and every one of them.
Even with his tiny amount of sight he would still go charging about the house, jumping up onto things, and miss sometimes as well! There was just no stopping him sometimes.
I'm sure he will have a few tricks up his sleeve....!
My Denis,
Wow, Denis is a real honey, no wonder you miss him so.
Debbie
Sheps mama
Debbie
Sheps mama
Your Denis was a gorgeous boy. I've always been fond of black cats, like my Alley. I guess when I was growing up, we always had cats, and they always seemed to be black, so to me, that's what a cat should look like!
The only thing getting me through all this, is the thought that somewhere, all our kitties are together, talking about us, as we're talking about them, and missing us just the same, waiting until we are together again.
The only thing getting me through all this, is the thought that somewhere, all our kitties are together, talking about us, as we're talking about them, and missing us just the same, waiting until we are together again.
Denis was sleek & gorgeous & so happy in that photo in such a lovely garden. The pain of losing our best beloved furbabies is the price we pay for loving & being loved so.
Judith
Judith
Oh your Dennis was so handsome! He looks so wise and so happy in his picture. Thank you for letting us see him.
Love
Lori
Love
Lori
Moose mom, Furry's mum, Alleys mama and Sheps mama,
Thank you to you all for your lovely words about my Denis, thet go along way, I can tell you.
Denis does look happy and proud in that photo, so young and full of life. That photo was taken at the first house we had ever bought so there are a lot of fond memories there.
When I think of that house and Denis, I alway think of him 'bringing home the bacon' which brings a smile to my face.
One day Denis had obviously jumped over the garden wall to one of the houses at the bottom of the garden and reappeared at the back door with two slices of fresh, uncooked bacon in his mouth, totally clean with not a speck of dirt on them. I can only imagine that some had had their kitchen door open and Denis had gone in and saw two slices of bacon on the work top and decided to steal them! Perhaps they had only left the kitchen for a couple of seconds but that was long enough for him to snatch and grab them. I could imagine the look of puzzlement on someones face when they returned to find their bacon for breakfast had totally disappeared. The look on Denis's face, with these two big slices of bacon hanging from his mouth, he was really proud of his catch!
Thank you to you all for your lovely words about my Denis, thet go along way, I can tell you.
Denis does look happy and proud in that photo, so young and full of life. That photo was taken at the first house we had ever bought so there are a lot of fond memories there.
When I think of that house and Denis, I alway think of him 'bringing home the bacon' which brings a smile to my face.
One day Denis had obviously jumped over the garden wall to one of the houses at the bottom of the garden and reappeared at the back door with two slices of fresh, uncooked bacon in his mouth, totally clean with not a speck of dirt on them. I can only imagine that some had had their kitchen door open and Denis had gone in and saw two slices of bacon on the work top and decided to steal them! Perhaps they had only left the kitchen for a couple of seconds but that was long enough for him to snatch and grab them. I could imagine the look of puzzlement on someones face when they returned to find their bacon for breakfast had totally disappeared. The look on Denis's face, with these two big slices of bacon hanging from his mouth, he was really proud of his catch!
That is a GREAT photo. He has such a great look. Honestly, I think it should be on a calendar.
Now that we add Alley in the mix, we've got 4 black cats. Probably opening a casio and taking all the dogs' money. Moon Cat always was all about taking advantage of dogs.....
Now that we add Alley in the mix, we've got 4 black cats. Probably opening a casio and taking all the dogs' money. Moon Cat always was all about taking advantage of dogs.....
E.M. - I love the story about Denis stealing the bacon and about bringing it home to you in purrfect condition!!
Shep once did something similar. It was my partner's birthday and I had bought him a really gorgeous cake. I left it on the work surface in the kitchen, in it's unopened box and went to bed. In the morning I got up and went downstairs and into the kitchen. The cake box was on the floor and was empty. It had been opened very delicately - no tears or rips and the cake was gone. There were no crumbs anywhere to be seen. I went back upstairs and asked my partner where he had put the cake and of course, he didn't know what I was talking about. The next thing, Shep started yowling like a wolf. I went downstairs and let him out in to the garden, where he very quickly showed me what had happened to the cake!! To this day I don't know how he managed to open the box so gently, but he never lost his love of cake!!
These are the stories I love to hear, please come back and tell us some more as I'm sure it does us good to talk about the great times.
Debbie
Sheps mama
Shep once did something similar. It was my partner's birthday and I had bought him a really gorgeous cake. I left it on the work surface in the kitchen, in it's unopened box and went to bed. In the morning I got up and went downstairs and into the kitchen. The cake box was on the floor and was empty. It had been opened very delicately - no tears or rips and the cake was gone. There were no crumbs anywhere to be seen. I went back upstairs and asked my partner where he had put the cake and of course, he didn't know what I was talking about. The next thing, Shep started yowling like a wolf. I went downstairs and let him out in to the garden, where he very quickly showed me what had happened to the cake!! To this day I don't know how he managed to open the box so gently, but he never lost his love of cake!!
These are the stories I love to hear, please come back and tell us some more as I'm sure it does us good to talk about the great times.
Debbie
Sheps mama
Chocolate cake, peas and curry....these were a few of his ###### things!! and bread. When he was a kitten and before we had bought our first house, we lived next door to a bakery so I think that's where he got his fondness for cakes and bread, I think he would go round the back and get fed or find some treat laying about. The curry taste I think came from living near to the high street, if we ever came home with a takeway he could smell it a mile off and always begged for a little bit, I think that's how he got his liking for peas as well.
You could never leave a loaf of fresh bread out because you would always come back to find all the corners nibbled off it. Denis also had mastered the art of opening the fridge door so he could have a peek inside to see if anything took his fancy.
Sheps mama
I loved the bedhead look, it made me giggle, thats just what I look like in the morning too! Did Shep eat most of the cake or did he leave a bit for you too? The things they get away with! These funny stories do cheer you up.
v-angel
Four black cats opening a ******* and taking all the dogs money, now thats a thought! Denis never listened to our dog Molly either (Long legged Jack Russell), he knew he ruled the roost, sometimes if Molly was lying down in his way he would just literally walk over her to get to where he wanted to be, I don't think she liked this very much!
Having said that our other two cats Emily and Lucy don't pay much attention to her whens she growls at them either, they still go and steal her food even when she is stood right next to them. Poor old Molly. She knows just how cheeky these cats can be, but she is just as cheeky as the rest of them.
A couple of weeks ago I heard Lucy our fluffy black and white cat growling in the kitchen, when I walked in she had a huge mouse in her mouth, still very much alive, which she promptly dropped and went walking off to her food bowl. My partner had let her in the through the kitchen door and had failed to notice what she was carrying. After chasing the mouse round the kitchen with a frying pan in his hand and then losing it, 2 hours later and a lot of searching, we managed to find it hiding out in the bottom of the oven. Yuck. Thanks Lucy for that!
Look forward to hearing more amusing thoughts and stories about our loved ones, it helps to smile a little each day, we need it don't we?
You could never leave a loaf of fresh bread out because you would always come back to find all the corners nibbled off it. Denis also had mastered the art of opening the fridge door so he could have a peek inside to see if anything took his fancy.
Sheps mama
I loved the bedhead look, it made me giggle, thats just what I look like in the morning too! Did Shep eat most of the cake or did he leave a bit for you too? The things they get away with! These funny stories do cheer you up.
v-angel
Four black cats opening a ******* and taking all the dogs money, now thats a thought! Denis never listened to our dog Molly either (Long legged Jack Russell), he knew he ruled the roost, sometimes if Molly was lying down in his way he would just literally walk over her to get to where he wanted to be, I don't think she liked this very much!
Having said that our other two cats Emily and Lucy don't pay much attention to her whens she growls at them either, they still go and steal her food even when she is stood right next to them. Poor old Molly. She knows just how cheeky these cats can be, but she is just as cheeky as the rest of them.
A couple of weeks ago I heard Lucy our fluffy black and white cat growling in the kitchen, when I walked in she had a huge mouse in her mouth, still very much alive, which she promptly dropped and went walking off to her food bowl. My partner had let her in the through the kitchen door and had failed to notice what she was carrying. After chasing the mouse round the kitchen with a frying pan in his hand and then losing it, 2 hours later and a lot of searching, we managed to find it hiding out in the bottom of the oven. Yuck. Thanks Lucy for that!
Look forward to hearing more amusing thoughts and stories about our loved ones, it helps to smile a little each day, we need it don't we?
What a great story about Denis! I bet he was so pround of his "find"! Alley didn't like "people food" except an occasional lick of ice cream from the empty bowl but she used to bring me other little "treats" like mice, chipmunks, rabbits, etc. She always put them on the rug next to my bed so I would see them first thing in the morning. Yuck!
I hope Alley and Denis and all the others ARE somewhere together, taking care of eachother, the same as we are trying to do here. Two more days and it will be a month since Alley left. I miss her so much.
I hope Alley and Denis and all the others ARE somewhere together, taking care of eachother, the same as we are trying to do here. Two more days and it will be a month since Alley left. I miss her so much.
E.M. I've got another funny story for you. One day at work, I got a call from my neighbour who said, Shep is outside lying in your driveway. I said that it was most likely another dog who looked like Shep as there was no way it would be him. She said, No - it's definitely Shep as I've been watching him. He's been for a walk and had a pee in my garden and then returned home to lie in your driveway!
Then I remembered how Shep could open all the internal doors in the house - he would stand up and put one paw on the door handle and let his weight push it down. Our external doors were never locked on leaving the house because they couldn't be opened from the outside - but from the inside you only had to turn the handle!! The neighbour said - I've called the police because I think you may have been broken into, and they're on their way. I immediately left work and raced home to find Shep rolling around beside 2 police officers! They said - there's no sign of forced entry, and made me check all of our stuff. Everything was there.
It seems like Shep decided he'd had enough of hanging around and went for a stroll - like you do!! Since then we always lock the doors on the way out!! That boy - I swear he had a huge grin on his face as the 2 policemen told me how foolish it was not to lock your doors!!
Hope this made you smile.
Debbie
Sheps (irresponsible) mama
Then I remembered how Shep could open all the internal doors in the house - he would stand up and put one paw on the door handle and let his weight push it down. Our external doors were never locked on leaving the house because they couldn't be opened from the outside - but from the inside you only had to turn the handle!! The neighbour said - I've called the police because I think you may have been broken into, and they're on their way. I immediately left work and raced home to find Shep rolling around beside 2 police officers! They said - there's no sign of forced entry, and made me check all of our stuff. Everything was there.
It seems like Shep decided he'd had enough of hanging around and went for a stroll - like you do!! Since then we always lock the doors on the way out!! That boy - I swear he had a huge grin on his face as the 2 policemen told me how foolish it was not to lock your doors!!
Hope this made you smile.
Debbie
Sheps (irresponsible) mama
Oh you guys, your stories are just too cute! I can see Denis bringing that bacon home, LOL. And Shep with the cake, they really can make us smile.
The story of Lucy and the mouse (good girl!) reminds me of the time my Butch kitty came upstairs from the basement with something in his mouth, so I held out my hand and said "what do you have boy"? Well he proudly dropped a, very live, mouse in my hand! OMG Yes it was hours and much upset before that was resolved, but the first thing I did was throw the dang mouse across the house. Ya gotta love 'em!
Love
Lori
The story of Lucy and the mouse (good girl!) reminds me of the time my Butch kitty came upstairs from the basement with something in his mouth, so I held out my hand and said "what do you have boy"? Well he proudly dropped a, very live, mouse in my hand! OMG Yes it was hours and much upset before that was resolved, but the first thing I did was throw the dang mouse across the house. Ya gotta love 'em!
Love
Lori
All your stories are making me laugh...thanks...and Lori...at least the mouse was whole...although I can imagine the scream I would make. Our old cat Frank used to bring in "parts" of mice, now that's a nice present...yikes!!! Luckily, he was my husband's cat so he had the job of cleaning that up.... :-)
All the best to you all... Hrudey's Momma
All the best to you all... Hrudey's Momma
E.M., that story about your cat stealing the two pieces of bacon was so funny! Can you imagine what that person must have thought when they came back into the kitchen and had 2 less pieces of bacon?? Too funny...Thank you for sharing the photo of your beautiful kitty.I like to remember my boy Sox when he was in his prime too,not struggling as he did in his later years.He was always such a proud kitty.I love black kitties too, well,I should say black and white kitties most of all.Sox was a tuxedo manx and he always walked around the house like he was dressed up with no where to go! I love hearing all these stories of everyone's pets so please do keep on sharing them with us.My Sox used to love to catch lizards out on our front enclsed porch.He would bring them inside the house dangling from his mouth and drop them at your feet....awful!,but oh,so funny too.He would be proud of his catches.One time when we first moved into our new house 9 years ago he caught a small mouse that had been living here for awhile.Let me explain that when we bought our house it was in really bad shape and needed lots of work.We bought it from a very elderly couple who couldn't keep up with the maintenance of such a big house.We cleaned and cleaned for weeks but we could never catch that mouse that we had seen several times.Then one night we heard a bunch of strange sounds and when I got up to investigate I found Sox in the living room holding down this mouse with his front paws! I was scared to death but he kept on playing with it long after it was already dead.We finally managed to get it away from him but he was not happy that we had taken it from him.I guess he felt like he had worked hard for that mouse and then he didn't even get to eat it.Kinda gross I know but it's a true story.Well,I hope everyone is doing alright today.I had a good day but last night I was missing my boy something awful.I was up till 3 in the morning because I couldn't stop thinking about him.Anyone have suggestions on what to do when that happens?? Gotta go for now.Take care everyone.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)
Ok here's something kind of funny, the topic "My Heart Bleeds" is the best place for comic relief! 
I had a long haired brown tabby when I was a teenager named Starlett. We lived in an old house and always got mice. She go hunting in the basement when everyone was sleeping and I'd wake up in the middle of the night with her sitting on my chest presenting me with the greatest gift of all -- a mouse tail! On a good night I'd get woken up twice. You can just imagine the great sleep overs I used to have. Ewwwww.....
I think I would have preferred it if she would have hunted bacon! Hmmm, Denis is probably requiring bacon rather than gambling chips at the "Black Cat *******".
Renee, that's when I come here and make up crazy stories. Then I cry a little, grab one of my kitties, see if my other dog wants to come to bed with me (if she's not going to bite me) and try to go back to sleep.
I had a long haired brown tabby when I was a teenager named Starlett. We lived in an old house and always got mice. She go hunting in the basement when everyone was sleeping and I'd wake up in the middle of the night with her sitting on my chest presenting me with the greatest gift of all -- a mouse tail! On a good night I'd get woken up twice. You can just imagine the great sleep overs I used to have. Ewwwww.....
I think I would have preferred it if she would have hunted bacon! Hmmm, Denis is probably requiring bacon rather than gambling chips at the "Black Cat *******".
QUOTE
I had a good day but last night I was missing my boy something awful.I was up till 3 in the morning because I couldn't stop thinking about him.Anyone have suggestions on what to do when that happens??
Renee, that's when I come here and make up crazy stories. Then I cry a little, grab one of my kitties, see if my other dog wants to come to bed with me (if she's not going to bite me) and try to go back to sleep.
Renee
This is such a hard one. I'll tell you what I do, maybe you can find something here to help you.
First I try gently to think of all the good times. If that doesn't seem to be doing it, I take a warm bath and read a book, to get my mind off of my loss.
If I'm still up and upset I just give myself permission to be upset for a while, and then really get into it. Cry and scream and pound something. Maybe the best thing is just to let it happen when it happens, and know it will happen. My husband and I spent yesterday morning crying our eyes out, once again. Telling each other just what it is we miss about Moose.
On another note, Butch once brought us a live snake to admire, LOL. It was green and quite long, he had it in the middle and it was wiggling on both sides of his mouth like a green mustache. He was meowing at the door and thank god I looked! Otherwise that thing would have been in my living room! Irg, it's so hard to tell them what mighty hunters they are, when you are doing a "omg it's a snake dance"!
And eww mouse bits! Shudder, LOL. My sister had a cat, Mickey Mouse, who left grasshopper legs under the tv.
Love
Lori
QUOTE
I had a good day but last night I was missing my boy something awful.I was up till 3 in the morning because I couldn't stop thinking about him.Anyone have suggestions on what to do when that happens??
This is such a hard one. I'll tell you what I do, maybe you can find something here to help you.
First I try gently to think of all the good times. If that doesn't seem to be doing it, I take a warm bath and read a book, to get my mind off of my loss.
If I'm still up and upset I just give myself permission to be upset for a while, and then really get into it. Cry and scream and pound something. Maybe the best thing is just to let it happen when it happens, and know it will happen. My husband and I spent yesterday morning crying our eyes out, once again. Telling each other just what it is we miss about Moose.
On another note, Butch once brought us a live snake to admire, LOL. It was green and quite long, he had it in the middle and it was wiggling on both sides of his mouth like a green mustache. He was meowing at the door and thank god I looked! Otherwise that thing would have been in my living room! Irg, it's so hard to tell them what mighty hunters they are, when you are doing a "omg it's a snake dance"!
And eww mouse bits! Shudder, LOL. My sister had a cat, Mickey Mouse, who left grasshopper legs under the tv.
Love
Lori
Yes, these are fun (even with the pain)! We can also add Sabin to that list of black cats playing cards for fun and profit!
One of the first amusing food things Nissa and Sabin did when they were still weenie little kidlets (not that they ever got very big even when full-grown) had to do with my H's and my trip to the Ex (Red River Exhibition) one year. Like many folks, one of our fav*ourite food treats there was the miniature donuts, so we bought enough to bring an extra bag home. I left this on the kitchen counter overnight, looking forward to having a few tasty treats with my coffee the next morning. But when I got up, there was no bag there. I'd never thought that our kids could even manage the leap to the countertop, as they were still so young and small that they were still climbing the open wooden stairs from the basement somewhat slowly. However, when I checked all upstairs and couldn't find the bag of donuts, I had to look downstairs...where I found the entire bag...strewn all about, every donut that wasn't already eaten, ripped apart in tiny pieces, as was the bag itself!
Being a 'newbie' with felines, this was the first of many lessons about how WRONG the cat books of the day often were...in this case, "cats don't usually have sweet teeth" being the lie! I think they did it more for amusement though, as they really didn't like sweets as a rule...unless maybe they pigged-out too much this first time and taught themselves a lesson!
Rodents always were their fav*ourites, though, and we have a million stories about those. Sabin liked to catch mice across our street (in the tall grasses, before we ended up with a bunch under our deck) and bring them home, with me standing on the driveway waiting for him (and watching to intercept any possible cars, bikes or dogs), where he'd lope towards me, catch in mouth, saying, "Woo-woo! Woo-woo!" the entire way, all the way to the backyard, to indulge himself, in the safety and peace of the garden. Sabin took his food very seriously and never wasted one morsel, no matter what it was! (like his Mom)
And after he passed, Nissa carried on the tradition...in spades! Many were the times she'd come racing in the cat-door from the backyard, yelling "Yaah-AAaah!", live mousie in mouth, deposit it unharmed in the family room, OR upstairs if I'd gone up there for a moment to get something, just to have her fun with peeking at and chasing something that didn't make predictable moves, but soon losing that feline patience (never was her strong suit!), leaving her Mom to end up trapping the little guy after up to a 2 hour strategic battle with rolled up towels, a wide stick and whatever else I had to employ to lead the mousie to the live trap.....just to deposit him/her outside once again....until maybe the NEXT Mighty Huntress catch! Although Nissa did eat quite a few over her last 6 years ( I couldn't deny her, as it's the most perfect nutrition for a cat, and she needed all possible help for her kidneys), most of the time she just wanted a play-buddy (those poor mousies just couldn't agree!) and was most often so gentle with them, that the most damage they suffered (aside from fear!) was a bit of spit on their backs.
Nissa learned this trick when very young, when she started bringing in live birds into the house. I sat her down and explained that, seeing as she liked them to live, so she could still get thrills from watching them fly around (while I had to resort to asking Sabin to catch them FOR me...and being his sister's catch, not his, he always waited until I asked him...then grab them before he could kill and eat them), that she should endeavor to not harm them in any way, and that way she might be able to catch them again sometime and therefore get more pleasure once again......AND SHE DID JUST THAT FROM THEN ON with birds!! What a Little Grey Smartie! In all her life, she only caught and tried eating ONE bird...and didn't care for that meal anyway, so never did it again and continued to just watch &/or chase them so she could see them fly. I always told both her and Sabin that when they eventually crossed, they'd be able to fly themselves...and join the birdies in zoomie-type games...and I hope they're having much fun doing just that, now. (and maybe even the mousies can fly too, so it's an equally-fun game for them!)
One of the first amusing food things Nissa and Sabin did when they were still weenie little kidlets (not that they ever got very big even when full-grown) had to do with my H's and my trip to the Ex (Red River Exhibition) one year. Like many folks, one of our fav*ourite food treats there was the miniature donuts, so we bought enough to bring an extra bag home. I left this on the kitchen counter overnight, looking forward to having a few tasty treats with my coffee the next morning. But when I got up, there was no bag there. I'd never thought that our kids could even manage the leap to the countertop, as they were still so young and small that they were still climbing the open wooden stairs from the basement somewhat slowly. However, when I checked all upstairs and couldn't find the bag of donuts, I had to look downstairs...where I found the entire bag...strewn all about, every donut that wasn't already eaten, ripped apart in tiny pieces, as was the bag itself!
Being a 'newbie' with felines, this was the first of many lessons about how WRONG the cat books of the day often were...in this case, "cats don't usually have sweet teeth" being the lie! I think they did it more for amusement though, as they really didn't like sweets as a rule...unless maybe they pigged-out too much this first time and taught themselves a lesson! Rodents always were their fav*ourites, though, and we have a million stories about those. Sabin liked to catch mice across our street (in the tall grasses, before we ended up with a bunch under our deck) and bring them home, with me standing on the driveway waiting for him (and watching to intercept any possible cars, bikes or dogs), where he'd lope towards me, catch in mouth, saying, "Woo-woo! Woo-woo!" the entire way, all the way to the backyard, to indulge himself, in the safety and peace of the garden. Sabin took his food very seriously and never wasted one morsel, no matter what it was! (like his Mom)
And after he passed, Nissa carried on the tradition...in spades! Many were the times she'd come racing in the cat-door from the backyard, yelling "Yaah-AAaah!", live mousie in mouth, deposit it unharmed in the family room, OR upstairs if I'd gone up there for a moment to get something, just to have her fun with peeking at and chasing something that didn't make predictable moves, but soon losing that feline patience (never was her strong suit!), leaving her Mom to end up trapping the little guy after up to a 2 hour strategic battle with rolled up towels, a wide stick and whatever else I had to employ to lead the mousie to the live trap.....just to deposit him/her outside once again....until maybe the NEXT Mighty Huntress catch! Although Nissa did eat quite a few over her last 6 years ( I couldn't deny her, as it's the most perfect nutrition for a cat, and she needed all possible help for her kidneys), most of the time she just wanted a play-buddy (those poor mousies just couldn't agree!) and was most often so gentle with them, that the most damage they suffered (aside from fear!) was a bit of spit on their backs.
Nissa learned this trick when very young, when she started bringing in live birds into the house. I sat her down and explained that, seeing as she liked them to live, so she could still get thrills from watching them fly around (while I had to resort to asking Sabin to catch them FOR me...and being his sister's catch, not his, he always waited until I asked him...then grab them before he could kill and eat them), that she should endeavor to not harm them in any way, and that way she might be able to catch them again sometime and therefore get more pleasure once again......AND SHE DID JUST THAT FROM THEN ON with birds!! What a Little Grey Smartie! In all her life, she only caught and tried eating ONE bird...and didn't care for that meal anyway, so never did it again and continued to just watch &/or chase them so she could see them fly. I always told both her and Sabin that when they eventually crossed, they'd be able to fly themselves...and join the birdies in zoomie-type games...and I hope they're having much fun doing just that, now. (and maybe even the mousies can fly too, so it's an equally-fun game for them!)
Lori,thank you for the suggestions on what to do when I'm up late at night and can't get to sleep.I will try all of them.Sometimes I don't think there's anything that would really help.I just hurt inside...it's so hard to live without him.Soon it will be 3 months,3 months since he passed away.How can that be possible? How can it be that I haven't seen him or played with him or loved on him in 3 long months?? It just doesn't seem possible.......I kept hoping that as time went by it would get easier to take but in reality it hasn't worked out that way for me.I never imagined that it would be so hard to let go of him,to move on,to not think about him every day.Am I crazy?? I grief for him even now but at night it always get worse because that's when it would always be just him and I.We would stay up late at night and my husband goes to bed early.He would sit meatloaf style on my lap (and that wasn't easy because he weighed 22 pounds up until he got sick with diabetes) and we would watch t.v. together.He liked reality shows just like I do.Forgive me everyone for going off like this.I guess it just has to come out sometimes.What am I supposed to say to people who think I should be over it by now?? They ask me,what's wrong with you or why are you in a bad mood,when in truth I'm not in a bad mood I'm just incredibly sad.How long before this pain goes away? Just when I thought I was doing so well I had to go back down that path of awful sadness last night and once again revisit his entire last day over and over again...it's pathetic really that I can't get my act together.I wish there were a magic pill we could all take and be over the pain of losing our beloved pets.Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this,sorry if I started to sound a bit crazy.It does help to write about my feelings and I thank you all for listening to me. Renee (Sox's mom)
Renee honey
There is nothing wrong with you, nothing. Only with the people who think you should be 'over it' so soon. Three months is not a long time. You grieve as long as you grieve. Think of it this way, he was your son. If you lost your 16 year human son, do you think you'd be better at three months? I'm not sure you'd be much better at three years!
I think grief is a kind of going crazy, and not just once. So allow yourself to lose it sometimes. It's hardest in the 'special times', like you and Sox had at night. I'm not sure how, but it might be a good idea to try to change that up. My husband and Moose's special time was morning, I'd sleep in and they would have a love in. Now I get up with my husband and we have changed most everything he did before he goes to work. We started 'play time' with the new kitten. That seems to help hubby cope.
It does calm for most times, but I have to tell you, I still have days when I miss my Butch so much, and that's 10 years. I no longer feel crazy with the missing of him, but that took years.
Moose left just 10 days after Sox, I expect and accept crazy days. I think I'm a little more calm, and have more sane days now, but I really think the first year is just hell. All the countdowns, one month, two months, three and so on. First Christmas without him, first birthday. It's a killer.
One more thing, be aware and try to prepare for that awful first year anniversary, omg. That one for Butch almost did me in. You do get through it, it does get better, but not in a few months, or not for me. All I can really say is the second year wasn't as hard as the first.
Love
Lori
There is nothing wrong with you, nothing. Only with the people who think you should be 'over it' so soon. Three months is not a long time. You grieve as long as you grieve. Think of it this way, he was your son. If you lost your 16 year human son, do you think you'd be better at three months? I'm not sure you'd be much better at three years!
I think grief is a kind of going crazy, and not just once. So allow yourself to lose it sometimes. It's hardest in the 'special times', like you and Sox had at night. I'm not sure how, but it might be a good idea to try to change that up. My husband and Moose's special time was morning, I'd sleep in and they would have a love in. Now I get up with my husband and we have changed most everything he did before he goes to work. We started 'play time' with the new kitten. That seems to help hubby cope.
It does calm for most times, but I have to tell you, I still have days when I miss my Butch so much, and that's 10 years. I no longer feel crazy with the missing of him, but that took years.
Moose left just 10 days after Sox, I expect and accept crazy days. I think I'm a little more calm, and have more sane days now, but I really think the first year is just hell. All the countdowns, one month, two months, three and so on. First Christmas without him, first birthday. It's a killer.
One more thing, be aware and try to prepare for that awful first year anniversary, omg. That one for Butch almost did me in. You do get through it, it does get better, but not in a few months, or not for me. All I can really say is the second year wasn't as hard as the first.
Love
Lori
Lori,
I'm so glad you posted this to Renee, as it's what I consider normal for the course of grief, too....but don't often-enough hear echoed back. I know from experience that it's so double, or even triple-edged, trying to accept that the pain of loss won't diminish anytime soon, yet feeling relieved to know there's no hurry to rush through it, and even not wanting the pain to lessen too soon, as if that's a mark of an uncaring, unloving heart....which it isn't, but I personally couldn't even imagine moving through the grief in record time.
I'd said this, too, in some other post...that the loss of a child of such and such an age would be expected to take much more time than most people give US (or we give ourselves, often!)....but on the other hand, even those who have lost their human children are often made to feel like they're abnormal, too....so sad, this society. In all losses, the only ones who usually, but not always, understand, are those who've had the same kind of loss. I don't get it....where people's compassion goes, or if they ever had any to begin with, or if they're capable of any, ever! But we shouldn't pass those kinds of non-understandings onto ourselves. They're simply wrong and only make the grief harder to take.
If it's any help, Renee....my nights have been sheer torture, too, lately....after almost 5 months. I sleep with a cat stuffie (with 2 better ones still on order, but not arrived yet), w/o which I'd NEVER get to sleep. It doesn't matter HOW old we are....we need to use whatever works for us. But even then, my dreams lately don't allow me much real rest....full of the awareness, and even the depression!, of having lost my girl, no matter what I'm dreaming of otherwise. It's always there and never leaves, awake or not....and it's taking a toll on me. For me, everything's getting much worse, not better....and I hardly even care, except for wishing I could die, too, and be done with everything and see my kids again, as it SHOULD be. It only feels like I don't belong in this world w/o them, nor do they belong anywhere I'm not with them.
Sabin's and Nissa's Birthday is coming up, on Jan.20...where they would have each been 20 (sounds like a double-whammy...20 on the 20th), followed just 3 days later on Jan.23 by Nissa's fifth month of being gone. All I can think of to do is get a big jug of rum or something....but I'll probably end up buying some chocolate mousies, if I can find them and doing something in their honour....can't even think straight about it yet. Maybe I'll just cry until I can't see straight anymore. This is too hard and I wish my heart WOULD just physically break and end this all in one fell swoop. I know this isn't helpful, but I, too, need to vent right now.
I'm so glad you posted this to Renee, as it's what I consider normal for the course of grief, too....but don't often-enough hear echoed back. I know from experience that it's so double, or even triple-edged, trying to accept that the pain of loss won't diminish anytime soon, yet feeling relieved to know there's no hurry to rush through it, and even not wanting the pain to lessen too soon, as if that's a mark of an uncaring, unloving heart....which it isn't, but I personally couldn't even imagine moving through the grief in record time.
I'd said this, too, in some other post...that the loss of a child of such and such an age would be expected to take much more time than most people give US (or we give ourselves, often!)....but on the other hand, even those who have lost their human children are often made to feel like they're abnormal, too....so sad, this society. In all losses, the only ones who usually, but not always, understand, are those who've had the same kind of loss. I don't get it....where people's compassion goes, or if they ever had any to begin with, or if they're capable of any, ever! But we shouldn't pass those kinds of non-understandings onto ourselves. They're simply wrong and only make the grief harder to take.
If it's any help, Renee....my nights have been sheer torture, too, lately....after almost 5 months. I sleep with a cat stuffie (with 2 better ones still on order, but not arrived yet), w/o which I'd NEVER get to sleep. It doesn't matter HOW old we are....we need to use whatever works for us. But even then, my dreams lately don't allow me much real rest....full of the awareness, and even the depression!, of having lost my girl, no matter what I'm dreaming of otherwise. It's always there and never leaves, awake or not....and it's taking a toll on me. For me, everything's getting much worse, not better....and I hardly even care, except for wishing I could die, too, and be done with everything and see my kids again, as it SHOULD be. It only feels like I don't belong in this world w/o them, nor do they belong anywhere I'm not with them.
Sabin's and Nissa's Birthday is coming up, on Jan.20...where they would have each been 20 (sounds like a double-whammy...20 on the 20th), followed just 3 days later on Jan.23 by Nissa's fifth month of being gone. All I can think of to do is get a big jug of rum or something....but I'll probably end up buying some chocolate mousies, if I can find them and doing something in their honour....can't even think straight about it yet. Maybe I'll just cry until I can't see straight anymore. This is too hard and I wish my heart WOULD just physically break and end this all in one fell swoop. I know this isn't helpful, but I, too, need to vent right now.
Renee,
There is no time limit on grief. It may be hard for some people to understand why you are grieving for your cat still, but then again there are others who will say it's only been 3 months. There would be people who would think the same if you were grieving a friend who passed away.
Just know that we are here for you and we understand.
Love,
V
There is no time limit on grief. It may be hard for some people to understand why you are grieving for your cat still, but then again there are others who will say it's only been 3 months. There would be people who would think the same if you were grieving a friend who passed away.
Just know that we are here for you and we understand.
Love,
V
I wouldn't want to "get over" this so quickly, like Alley's life meant so little or something. I had her for nine short years. I'll likely cry off and on for the next nine years, missing her.
Everyone deals with things differently, in their own way, and their own time. Anyone who could get over it in a matter of days, doesn't deserve to have a pet, especially pets as wonderful and special as all of ours were.
After all the love they gave us, they deserve more than to be just forgotten.
Everyone deals with things differently, in their own way, and their own time. Anyone who could get over it in a matter of days, doesn't deserve to have a pet, especially pets as wonderful and special as all of ours were.
After all the love they gave us, they deserve more than to be just forgotten.
Lori,Furkidlets Mom,V., and Alley's Mama,thank you for your kind and understanding words.They help more than you will ever know.It helps just knowing that I'm not alone in the way I am feeling.I know I'm not going to get thur this quickly and I'm okay with that.It just hurts so much to think that I will never be able to see him on this earth again.It just seems so final.I know I shouldn't expect others to understand what I'm going thur because for them it was just another cat,not really a relationship for them like it was for me.For me he was like my own child.I looked forward to coming home every night to see him waiting for me at the backdoor.Now when I get home there's no one there and it just breaks my heart.My little Miss Mini does help alot but it's just not the same as it was with my boy Sox.He was special as all of our beloved babies are here.Maybe we are just a different kind of human being in that we care and love deeper than most people ever can.I feel sorry for those who never get to experience that kind of love.For me Sox will never be forgotten,it's impossible.He is imbeded in my memory forever.Thanks to all of you for helping me feel like I'm not crazy and I am so grateful to have a place such as this to come to and let my feelings out.It's really the only thing that helps me cope.Today I went to the Humane Society here in my town to visit with all of the kitties they have there that are up for adoption.I am thinking it might be time for me to open my heart to a new member of the family.It was nice to see and be around all those kitties but it also broke my heart.I cried with them and wished that I could bring all of them home with me.They were all so starved for attention and love.My husband tells me we shouldn't get another kitty that looks like Sox did but I really do want another black and white kitty.I just don't want to make the mistake of comparing him to Sox because I know there was only one Sox and no kitty could ever measure up to him.Does that make any sense at all?? There was this one kitty who was solid brown (the most beautiful chocolate brown I've ever seen on a kitty) and he definately caught my eye.He was so friendly and loving and I just wanted to steal him out of that cage and bring him home but I'm just not sure if I'm ready to get him.What do you guys think? This weekend they are having open adoptions at the Petco near my house and one of my friends told me I should come up there and look at the kitties they have up for adoption.My heart aches for another kitty to love and I think I'm ready but I don't want to feel like I'm just moving on so fast and replacing my baby Sox so fast.Well,anyway,I guess I'll close for now.Thank you again to each one of you for helping me feel better.It is so nice to have such dear friends here on this forum and I am so grateful to each one of you.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)
Renee - Sox can never be replaced. Neither can Alley. There will never be another like them. But when I am able to move, I'm going to adopt a new kitty. It won't be the same, but my heart and my arms, ache to hold another little furbaby. I saw one today on a shelter site that just broke my heart, I wanted him so badly. If I was allowed pets, I would have left work right that minute and went and got him. I look at those sites almost every day, torturing myself I guess, looking for one that reminds me of Alley, just to look at it. I dont know why, but when I saw this little guy I just ached to have him. For some reason he just jumped out at me, when the others were "just cats" on a webpage when I saw their pictures.. Unfortunately, I don't move until July and by then, he will likely have found his forever home. I hope that when the time comes, I see another who gives me a jolt like this little guy does. Here's his picture. http://search.petfinder.com/petnote/displa...i?petid=7608667
When the time is right, you'll have the same experience. You will just look a little face somewhere and it will just feel right. I only wish I could do it now
When the time is right, you'll have the same experience. You will just look a little face somewhere and it will just feel right. I only wish I could do it now
Dear Alley's Mama,than you for sharing that adorable photo with me.He is such a little sweetie pie.I want him too! I look at that website too.I saw several kitties on there that reminded me of Sox.I guess it just helps to look at photos of kitties.There's nothing wrong with that.I know your right when you say that I will know when it is the right kitty.I'll listen to my heart and when a kitty touches it I know I will be ready for him.Take care and thanks again for caring.Sincerely,Renee
Renee,
That just could be your man! Are you sure you didn't talk yourself out of it?
Don't worry if he's not the color you were looking for. Yesterday someone on this forum said something about not wanting a golden retriever as her next dog and ended up with one. You wouldn't want to embarrazz yourself like that now, would you?
Cats' personalities are even more diverse than dogs in my opinion. Now don't beat up on my for this -- we all know I love dogs. Cats believe in things being done on their terms. That's why you don't see cats doing the kind of compet*itions dogs do. When we get new dogs, we can "train" them to do some of the things our other dog did. With cats, it's all just the luck of the draw. You're right, a new kitty isn't going to be Sox. He's going to be "New Kitty." And he will have at least two very adorable traits and one very annoying trait because that is standard equipment in all cats.
Thanks for sharing the kitty pic AlleysMama. Do you have any idea how hard I've worked to stay away from homeless cats these past few days? Now I must go to VA and save him! See what you did!
Love,
V
QUOTE
He was so friendly and loving and I just wanted to steal him out of that cage and bring him home
That just could be your man! Are you sure you didn't talk yourself out of it?
Don't worry if he's not the color you were looking for. Yesterday someone on this forum said something about not wanting a golden retriever as her next dog and ended up with one. You wouldn't want to embarrazz yourself like that now, would you?
Cats' personalities are even more diverse than dogs in my opinion. Now don't beat up on my for this -- we all know I love dogs. Cats believe in things being done on their terms. That's why you don't see cats doing the kind of compet*itions dogs do. When we get new dogs, we can "train" them to do some of the things our other dog did. With cats, it's all just the luck of the draw. You're right, a new kitty isn't going to be Sox. He's going to be "New Kitty." And he will have at least two very adorable traits and one very annoying trait because that is standard equipment in all cats.
Thanks for sharing the kitty pic AlleysMama. Do you have any idea how hard I've worked to stay away from homeless cats these past few days? Now I must go to VA and save him! See what you did!
Love,
V
What a beautiful cat Denis is, so wonderful, I understand your pain, especially at night its a constant struggle...I am new to this grief thing myself, hard to believe my buddy has been gone for over two weeks now....I can't imagine "getting over it", I agree there is no time frame... how can there be, my Hrudey boy was with me 14 1/2 years that's a long time, 16 years....even more, take whatever time you need, embrace your blessings of having a special buddy for so long. Our old buddy Frank, 22 yr old tabby left us over 4 years ago, I still cry for him, I don't feel crazy (hopefully!)....I just miss him and am so thankful for that experience.
I am hoping you are having a better night tonight...
PS Alley's Momma....thanks for sharing that adorable kitty pix....now I am pining for that little black fuzzy beauty...
Take care Denis's mom.... Tory, Hrudey's Momma
I am hoping you are having a better night tonight...
PS Alley's Momma....thanks for sharing that adorable kitty pix....now I am pining for that little black fuzzy beauty...
Take care Denis's mom.... Tory, Hrudey's Momma
Renee
Of course you can't replace Sox, and you are not even gonna try. It's not 'moving on", you will still feel the same way you do now about Sox. You just have so much love and a great home for a cat, you are going to offer that to a baby who needs it . Sox loved you so much, he always wanted you happy, didn't he? Didn't he hate it when you were sad? Well now he want you to have a new baby to love. Sox knows you love him, how special he was and he wants you to be happy.
It takes time and patience to develope a relationship. You will never have just what you had with Sox, but a new guy helps us get back the joy in life.
Maybe you need to go back and get the brown boy, or maybe the PetCo adoption thing would be good. I'd say you are 'in the place' to get a new baby. I can't wait to see it! I try to stay out of shelter as much as possible, 'cause I always want to rescue them all too.
Furkidlets' Mom
Yikes too much pain at once. The two anniversarys are so close. Five months and the first birthday without Nissa. Oh my heart breaks for you. Sometimes venting is all you can do, that and like you said, cry till you can't see. I'd like to say I'll be thinking of you on the 23rd, but Moose will have been gone 3 months so...well that day will just suck big time.
AlleysMama
OMG what a cute kitten! Bourke, what a name. After a bag, lol. All the kittens in the litter are named after fashion, that must have been a day at the shelter! Of course I want him too. We all want him, he'll have a forever home in no time. Oh how I wish it could be with you.
Love
Lori
Of course you can't replace Sox, and you are not even gonna try. It's not 'moving on", you will still feel the same way you do now about Sox. You just have so much love and a great home for a cat, you are going to offer that to a baby who needs it . Sox loved you so much, he always wanted you happy, didn't he? Didn't he hate it when you were sad? Well now he want you to have a new baby to love. Sox knows you love him, how special he was and he wants you to be happy.
It takes time and patience to develope a relationship. You will never have just what you had with Sox, but a new guy helps us get back the joy in life.
Maybe you need to go back and get the brown boy, or maybe the PetCo adoption thing would be good. I'd say you are 'in the place' to get a new baby. I can't wait to see it! I try to stay out of shelter as much as possible, 'cause I always want to rescue them all too.
Furkidlets' Mom
Yikes too much pain at once. The two anniversarys are so close. Five months and the first birthday without Nissa. Oh my heart breaks for you. Sometimes venting is all you can do, that and like you said, cry till you can't see. I'd like to say I'll be thinking of you on the 23rd, but Moose will have been gone 3 months so...well that day will just suck big time.
AlleysMama
OMG what a cute kitten! Bourke, what a name. After a bag, lol. All the kittens in the litter are named after fashion, that must have been a day at the shelter! Of course I want him too. We all want him, he'll have a forever home in no time. Oh how I wish it could be with you.
Love
Lori
Lori,
I'm so sorry the 23rd will be a hard day for you, too. With my head so screwed-up and my memory a 'distant memory'
, I can hardly keep track of my own calendar, much less anyone else's!....so thanks for the reminder (I need these), so I can add you and Moose to my thoughts on that day, hoping the empathy will reach you across the miles. (energy knows no boundaries, right?)
Renee,
On your behalf, I trust you to know inside your heart and soul when, where and who you will bring into your life next. Lori's a smart cookie who knows what she's talking about - it's not "moving on"; it's continuing the capacity for love that Sox and you began. My therapist says the same thing...that it does MORE honour to our loved ones to continue to live and love than it does to stay unjoyful forevermore. When I'm down, I can't quite wrap my head around this concept, but when I'm having a better moment (usually very short-lived!), I 'get' it. I'm waiting for the time when I 'get' it more often than not...for me, that will be one marker of being more ready.
I'm so sorry the 23rd will be a hard day for you, too. With my head so screwed-up and my memory a 'distant memory'
, I can hardly keep track of my own calendar, much less anyone else's!....so thanks for the reminder (I need these), so I can add you and Moose to my thoughts on that day, hoping the empathy will reach you across the miles. (energy knows no boundaries, right?)Renee,
On your behalf, I trust you to know inside your heart and soul when, where and who you will bring into your life next. Lori's a smart cookie who knows what she's talking about - it's not "moving on"; it's continuing the capacity for love that Sox and you began. My therapist says the same thing...that it does MORE honour to our loved ones to continue to live and love than it does to stay unjoyful forevermore. When I'm down, I can't quite wrap my head around this concept, but when I'm having a better moment (usually very short-lived!), I 'get' it. I'm waiting for the time when I 'get' it more often than not...for me, that will be one marker of being more ready.
Thanks,guys,for all of your kind words and understanding.I know I'll know when the time is right to get another baby to love.This weekend we are going to Petco to check out the kitties they have up for adoption.I'm not going to push the issue but if there's a kitty that catches my eye I think I will know.You guys will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.Much love to you all,Renee (Sox's mom)
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