Cremation Fears, Please talk to me Options

[Ann H]

Cremation. I have noticed that no one talked about this subject except to say they were waiting or picking their babies ashes up. I was afraid all winter long that my Snookie would die in the winter and I would have to have her cremated. Here in Michigan the ground would be to hard to dig a grave so when spring and summer came I was relieved I could bury her body if she did pass over to the bridge.

I am thrilled that she is still with me but now with winter coming again I am terrified she will die when the ground is frozen. I can't hardly bear the thought of having her beautiful body burned and I cry every time I think of it. It makes me feel sick, really sick to my stomach and when I think about it and it makes me cry so hard.

I have not read any thoughts on having to do it against their wishes here at LS and I have read many many post. I could not contain myself any longer from asking how did anyone who had it done feel that really wanted to bury their baby instead. Did having the ashes haunt you, did you feel sick, do you have nightmares, were you able to keep them in plain sight?

My sister said it is better to cremate Snookie than to bury them because I could take her with me any where. She said if I burried her the under ground bugs and animals could get to her. I don't even know if I would be able to keep her near by in a container for fear of thinking she would hate me for closing her in or for having her body burned and destroyedthat way. But if we can't dig through the snow and ice nothing else can be done there would be no other choice and I am so stressed.

Oh help me please, somebody talk to me and tell me what it was like for you and how I can overcome this horrible fear. I don't mean to cause any of you any undue pain but I need help dealing with the idea of this subject. It hurts me so to think of destroying Snookie's body. The vet said it will cost $222.50 for a private cremation. Also how do you know you really get your own baby back?
Ann

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[LS Support]

crematoriums are licensed and are quite meticulous about getting the proper cremains to the people who expect to receive them intact, so i would rest that fear at very least. tribble died when the ground was frozen so i had him cremated. he is in a small metal canister, decorated with kitty gift wrap and a picture. inside with his cremains ive placed a toy, some food, catnip and his collar. to me, he has everything necessary to take his final journey. i believe that the spirit of our pets cannot be destroyed by fire, insects, or other animals...only the mortal flesh given to them during this lifetime. the spirit feels no pain, as the body no longer does. now nearly 7 years since tribble's passing, i look at the canister of cremains with fond memories as you would probably do too some day.

[Pamela]

I was so thankful to be able to get Mooses ashes back, at first it was hard for me, I put them in the living room, and cried and cried, then I knew I had to put them away for awhile, someday i will scatter his ashes on the ocean beech we played on for years or I may take him to my parents grave and bury him there when no one is looking, I have even thought of putting them in a stuffed animal.Someday when I am ready to take them out Ashes to Ashes dust to dust the end result is the same, It is good that you are making the decisions now. I would be the first to tell you as hard as it is to have them it is a comfort at the same time. Love Pamela

[Solasmom]

Hello,

It is clear how much you love your pet. I chose cremation because of what your sister said, I can keep Solas with me if we ever move. It was the right choice for me, but it sounds like you need to bury your pet. What if you dug a hole now while you can? You could always get some potting soil and some mulch if your furbaby should go to the bridge in the winter.

Try to enjoy the time you have left with your pet. I spent the last night I had with my cat just brushing his fur because he couldn't groom himself anymore. It was a special time for us.

Please take care and know you have people who care here,
Ariel

[zoeysdad]

Hi Ann,

I like Ariel's idea about digging the grave now while the ground isn't frozen. Maybe you could store the dirt from the grave somewhere where it wouldn't freeze. You could cover the grave with a piece of plywood or something sturdy in the meantime.

I buried Little Man behind my house and I live way out in the country where there are all kinds of varments, but his grave has never been bothered by anything. I did cover his grave with six 12' x 12' concrete pavers, you know, like you make sidewalks with. Cremation is the only option for many people and I certainly don't see anything wrong with it, but burial was what I prefered and I knew I would never be moving from my current home.

I know it may sound a bit morbid to dig the grave while Snookie is still alive, but I believe you're wise to be making these decisions now rather than later. After we lose a pet, we don't seem to think clearly at all and it's very difficult to make decisions like that when you're in a fog of grief.

Thinking of you,
__Jim

[CheriAnn]

Hi Ann,

Like Jim, I chose to bury my Rachael in my own yard. I thought about cremation, but felt terrible about it, like you mentioned. I realize that if I move someday, I can't take her with me, but I just felt better putting her whole body to rest. We wrapped her in her favorite blanket and laid her on her favorite dog bed. I feel comfort when I sit out on our front porch and look out over to her grave site. She even has her own personalized head stone.

I do feel that you are fortunate that you can plan ahead for your precious Snookie. Most of us weren't prepared when it happened, and decisions were made through tears and grief. Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure will be perfect for Snookie. Like everyone has said, when that time comes, his spirit will have left the shell, and be with you always, no matter where you live.

Cheri

[Stymy's Mom]

Hi Ann,

I have a small yard so I decided to have Stymy cremated. But everyone feels differently about that. When it is my time I requested to be cremated also ... so that is why I had Stymy cremated.

Just remember that when Snookie passes only her body is gone not her spirit. She will still be with you in spirit.

My sister-in-law told me she is going to have all of her furbabies cremated when there time comes, and when it is her time she going to have all there ashes burried with her.

There are allot of options out there, but you need to do what feels right to you.

Love and Belief,
Vicki

[beth4275]

Hi Ann,

I had my little man Snoops cremated. I thought about burying him but I was afraid of leaving him behind if I ever moved. By having him cremated he goes with me wherever I am. He is going to be buried with me when I die so that we will always be together as he was always happiest with me. Snoops' body now rests in a cedar chest with his collar and his tags. He stays in the room where he spent most of his time and it is comforting to me to have him close by. Also, I can pick him up and hold his ashes if I want to.

What you decide to do is your choice and you need to be comfortable with it. When you have a private cremation you get a certificate from the cematory that the ashes you get back are your pups. I wouldn't worry about that part of it.

Hugs,
Beth

[SJ J & S]

Jude spent most of her life jumping the fence and off into the night for some adventure or other, Sadie would follow her lead.

I spent many a night walking the streets looking for them even after having 6 foot fencing put up all around the garden.

So, for me having them cremated i could scatter their ashes and finally they would be free.

[Gort]

If you're planning on burying Snookie when the time comes, make sure you check your local by laws first. Your area may have laws prohibbiting this (if that part matters to you).

My Ava has been gone almost 3 full months (as of this Friday). I wasn't even sure if there was such a thing as pet cremation so I called the vet. She advised that yes it was available. At the time I didn't know that there was group cremations and individual cremations. The individual cremations are apparently more expensive than group. The nice thing about individual is you know that you have the ashes of your pet only. I'm not sure what I have in the box seeing as I didn't know there was a difference at the time, not that it really matters at this point to me.

My original plans were to sprinkle her ashes in the places she loved most, the back yard, the spot on the river where she would go for swims on hot days after work, a few roads and cut blocks where she used to faithfully follow me. I had expected a small card board box similar to what my father's remains were in when I picked them up. I was surprised to find that the ashes were in a nicely finished wooden box with a little plaque with 'Ava' printed on it. After picking up the ashes (that was hard to do, the 'last ride') I place the box on the living room/front hall floor where she used to lie when she was inside visiting (she was mostly an outdoor dog). The box is still there, untouched for 3 months. It's considerably smaller than Ava was so I haven't tripped over it in the dark like I used to when she was alive. I still might sprinkle her ashes someday but there is no panic for a decision on that seeing as ashes don't decay. Should I choose to sprinkle her ashes, it will still make a good keep sake box for her collar and tags etc.

I too, plan to be cremated (after they decide if I have any useful organs to donate) so my decision was easy on this for Ava.

Dust to dust, ashes to ashes. As others have said, Snookie's spirit can not be harmed.

[ChrissyW]

My Indy's passing was definately not planned. I had my Indy cremated but spread somewhere with other animals. I didn't have the money to have him cremated individually and the thought of picking up his ashes in a box didn't appeal to me. I would break down if I even saw the box. I didn't want to think of my boy in a small box on my mantel. I wanted to feel as if he is free of everything. He still goes everywhere with me. I have his pictures up which gives me a good feeling. He will forever be my boy but you need to do what is best for you. It helped me knowing that no matter where his body was he would never leave my heart and soul. He IS PART of me NOW and FOREVER!!! No matter what you decide Snooky will always be with you just as Chili Bean is now. I know it is hard but what ever decision you make Snooky will know that it was the right one because you put so much thought into this part of her life. Hang in there . . . and enjoy the time you have with her today!!
ChrissyW

[Wanda]

I chose cremation for my furkitty, Fuzzball, without any hesitation. I wanted him with me always and I did not go through the should I's or the shouldn't I's. When he died in my arms I immediately made the decision for cremation. I did not want to bury him because I was in fear we'd move and he'd be left behind and I would never be able to deal with that. We have sinse moved and he is here with me just as I wanted. I worried about leaving the other apartment where he lived and played because I was afraid he would not know where I've gone to but I know he is here with me. So, burying him was not an option for me. My Fuzzzball will go wherever I go......no matter where that may be. Like the others have written you could dig the hole now and put the dirt somewhere it won't freeze. I agree it seems as though you need to bury Snookie. Whatever your decision we're all here for you!

Wanda

[Kristie]

Hi Ann,

I chose to bury Kasha, I didn't like the thought of cremation (for her or myself). I burried her in the backyard of the place I am living now, although I know that I will move and won't be able to take her with me. Even though it makes me sad that I will have to leave her body behind, I know she will always be with me in spirit. It was a hard decision to make but Kasha loved the yard...and I couldn't deal with the thought of her body being cremated.

Whatever you would choose for yourself, choose for Snookie...it will be the right decision.

Kristie

[J T]

We had Misty cremated, since (a) that's we will have done to ourselves, so it seemed the right thing to do for her; and (b ) we live in town so burial wasn't really an option. Our crematory does both mixed and private cremations; we chose private, and had her ashes returned to us in an urn shaped like a sleeping angel kitten. It also came with a certificate that she was cremated privately, and that only her ashes are in the urn. They also allow the family to be present if you wish or if you have concerns about mixing of remains. The cost was $165 including the urn...insignificant in that we'll always know where her remains are.

[Ann H]

You all have been so wonderful sharing your stories with me. I am so torn not knowing what to do. I am so afraid of cremation that I put it in my will not to have that done to me, the attorney said they have to do what is in my will. Anyway my husband says we should go with cremation and should we ever move she can go with us. It really bothered me what my sister said about the worms and moles and under ground things getting to her.

That was a wonderful idea about digging the grave and keeping the dirt somewhere so it wouldn't freeze. I don't know if my dad will go for it dad said that my husband and I are the ones who are going to get his home when he passes away. If he wont let me put her there I would have to move without her if we really do get dad's house.

Maybe I wont know until the last minute you all have been a wondeful help and thanks again for talking to me about such a delicate subject.
Ann

[gregmagin]

Ann,

Our Pacey died just two days ago (see post titled "Only 3-years-old") and we chose cremation. We beleive that his soul left his body for the Rainbow Bridge immediately upon his death. In turn, we want, for our own sake, to have his remains with us for all time, no matter where we go in life. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust; bodies that are buried turn to ash and dust eventually too. What happens to the soul has no relation to what happens to the body - I sincerely beleive that.

Do what's best for you with regard to your little one's remains, Snookie will be waiting for you in Heaven no matter what.