Holidays Without My Sweet Girl, First Christmas without my cat Options

[Precious26]

Coming home tonight from my boyfriend's family's dinner, I knew my sweet cat of 20 years wouldn't be here to make Christmas eve complete the way I have always remembered. It was very hard looking at our porch where she always was. I just wanted to go outside and grab her, but it broke my heart she wasn't there.
It's been a month now since I had to put her down for kidney failure and it still hurts. I still miss her terribly, despite having a new kitten in the house. I wasn't ready for a new kitten, and still am not some days, but my mom was hurting just as much from the loss of our old cat, so she needed a new friend. It has helped some, but this is the first Christmas I will remember without my sweet girl.
I am not sure how to deal with this situation this holiday. I've lost family members and have missed them at Christmastime, but this is different. She was always there to help me through missing those family members, but now I don't have anything to help me through missing her this holiday.
How do we cope with the loss of our furry friends and companions through holidays? She should be going to sleep with me tonight, but instead I'll be going alone. I am just not sure how to deal with these feelings. If anyone has any advice, it would be much appreciated.
Merry Christmas.

[Gizy's Mom]

Dear Precious26,

Merry Christmas to you too.
I am so sorry about your loss. I know exactly how you feel because I just lost my baby puppy 16 days ago... I didn't think I would be able to survive and still some days I don't know how I made it that long without him.
He was my sweet little boy, my only lovely child... An hour doesn't go by without me breaking into tears... I am devastated and heartbroken.
I found that reading a lot of posts from the people that share the same kind of grief helps to ease the pain. Many of those people give me hope that it will get easier with time.
Last night I went to church for the Christmas mass and prayed God to accept my baby boy Gizy, take care of him, heal his wounds and help him be happy in heaven...
I live with the thought that we will meet again, don't know when but that day will come. And then he will run to me and I will pick him up and kiss his cold wet nose, his eyes, his ears. I will hold him so tight and never let him go...
but for now I find comfort in talking to his pictures, kissing his collar, sleeping with his "blanky".
I gave him a Christmas card and a teddy bear for Christmas and spent half an hour reading the card through tears.
I think the thought of his spirit being here with me helps me survive. I also read somewhere that his spirit can see me and since he loves me he wants to see me happy so I try to hide my tears.
I miss my boy terribly. I love him with all my heart.
I hope your pain will ease and you find strength to remember only good happy moments of your life with your beloved kitty.


Love,

Gizy's Mom

[moon_beam]

Hi, Precious26, please permit to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved companion. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Regardless of how long we share our precious companion's earthly journey we will always want just one more minute, one more hour, one more day, one more lifetime with them - - for an eternity with them is never long enough.

Precious26, you ask a universal question that each of us asks when we are physical separated from our beloved companions: "How do we cope with the loss of our furry friends and companions through holidays?" What is advertised as being the "most wonderful time of the year" can in reality be the "most horrible time of the year" when our hearts are shattered with grief. The only answer I can offer you is to do what is most comfortable for you to help you through these difficult days. Although clinical professionals recognize that the grief journey of loss of a beloved companion is the same as, if not more intense than, the loss of a human family member or friend, unfortunately our society in general, and sadly sometimes the people who are closest to us geographically and emotionally, does not. This is one of the many reasons why this forum was established as a safe place for people who are grieving the physical loss, or illness, of their precious companions can come to be among people who truly do understand what you are going through. Hopefully somehow you will be able to feel each of us reaching out to you across the cyber miles holding you and comforting you when the deep pain of your sorrow feels like it is more than your heart can bear. By ourselves we would crumble under the weight of the burden of the intense sorrow and pain of our grief adjustment journeys. Together we are bound by the comfort, support, encouragement, and hope of each other that enables us to find the strength and courage to endure one more minute, one more hour, one more day, one more month - - until we feel strong enough to try to stand on our own and extend our arms to someone else who is in need of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope.

For now, though, I know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow that is in your heart. Please let me try to reassure you that the deep sorrow you are feeling is very normal deep grief - - very panfiul both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. I promise you, Precious26, that it will not always be this way. In your own way and in your own time there will come a moment when you will be thinking of your beloved companion and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and the deep sorrow in your heart will not feel quite so intense. But it is going to take awhile for you to come to this place in your adjustment journey, for you are now on a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time.

The good news in the midst of all this deep sorrow is that your beloved companion's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will. The love bond you share is eternal, Precious26 - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved companion's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of you - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved companion with us, Precious26. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of her with us - - but only when or if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Precious26, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Precious26]

Hi, Gizy's Mom,
Thank you for sharing your story of your beloved pet. I am so sorry for your loss, and my thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this difficult time. The first several days after the loss of my cat I thought for sure I would never smile again. I cried for at least a week every morning, day and night. It was by far the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I also lost one of my very best human friends to a car accident in September, and my sweet girl helped me through that loss, which at that point I thought would be the hardest thing I ever went through. But then I found my cat to be in pain with no option, really, except euthanasia. My heart still weighs heavy, and I know when she left this earth a piece of my heart went with her. My life just isn't the same without her. There are still times I come home from a weekend away or a bad day at work and just want to hold her, but I know I can't. To help with that, I hold her blanket or look at old pictures of her in her prime.

But, even though this has been one of the most trying things I've ever been through, trust me when I say you will smile again. The heartache won't go away completely, but eventually the tears we shed over the loss of our pet will turn into smiles, just like moon_beam said:

"In your own way and in your own time there will come a moment when you will be thinking of your beloved companion and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and the deep sorrow in your heart will not feel quite so intense."

And moon_beam, I can't thank you enough for your encouraging words. I know without a doubt her spirit is with me each and every day. Sometimes I like to think she is still on our porch, encouraging the new kitten to do things she used to do to get attention, which makes me laugh. Christmas Eve and Christmas day were extremely difficult, as many other holidays will be and just like my birthday will be. I got her when I was so young I don't have a memory without her in it. The holidays can, without a doubt, be a very, very difficult time of year. I'm thankful to have had my family close and also to have had this forum as an outlet to express my grief when it feels as though my friends and family don't understand. I look forward to the day when we will meet again and I will be able to be with her eternally. Until then, I just cry when the pain is too much and that really helps me to get out some of the crazy emotions I feel. I'll still hold on to her blanket and photos and the memories she and I share.

Thank you both again for your kind words and encouraging thoughts. Moon_beam, I tried to attach a picture of my sweet girl, although I'm not sure if it worked. I love showing her off, still! Pictures really, really help me! Hope you can see it.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Precious26, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and for sharing this wonderful picture of your beautiful girl with us.

Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels. It is never an easy decision to make, for it is similar to deciding to stop life support for human family member or friend. Your heartbreak and heartache in not having your beloved companion's precious physical presence still with you is shared by those of us who know what you are going through, Precious26.

It is quite common for new companions to take on some of the attributes of the companions who are now with the angels. I know your beloved girl is closely watching over the new family member and guiding her in ways that will bring much comfort to your mom - - and eventually to you as well. Each companion with whom we share their earthly journey finds a special place of their own in our hearts and memories. They can never, and will never, "replace" our beloved companions who are with the angels, - - but they will have their own unique place in our hearts and lives.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Precious26, and that you will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Gizy's Mom]

Hi Precious26,

She is absolutely beautiful. Hope my baby boy and your kitty become good friends.
I agree with you, this forum is definitely a big help.
Thank you for your support.