Said Goodbye To Our Sweet Reggie Today Options

[Aaron]

Hey buddy, just wanted to send you a message letting you know your Mommy, Daddy and Kylah still miss you dearly and think about you every day. We all hope you are doing well and playing with all your new friends. I can't believe it's been a month since we said goodbye to you, it feels like we last saw you just yesterday. I am sure that's because you are still with us and because we think about you all the time. All the sweet memories you gave us are with us still and will always be with us. It's been really tough being without you, I won't lie. Even though you are not with us physically anymore, I still do little things that remind me of you as if you were still here physically. I still look behind the office chair to make sure you are not laying right behind it. I still look in the front window where you used to wait for me as I'd walk to the front door after coming home from work. I still peek in the office at your leather recliner to see if you are sleeping in your favorite spot. Your sister still looks for you, but I think she is slowly getting better. I hope someday we can get her another friend, as I am sure you'd want her to have a buddy to play with. I just re-covered Kylah's scratching post and it reminded me of you. She knew she could just scratch on her scratching post and you'd eventually chase her into the bedroom. We've been giving her all the love and attention she could want, so she is doing "OK". I don't know if you ever knew how special you were and how important you were to all of us, but we always knew and never forgot it. That's why this has been so hard - you were one of a kind and had a profound impact on everyone you met. You were a gift from God and I cherish the time we spent with each other and can't wait to see you again someday.

Love always,

Your Daddy

[moon_beam]

Hi, Aaron, thank you so much for sharing your beautiful letter to Reggie with us. Reggie truly knows the profound love you have for him as he reads these words lifting toward him in heaven's perfect garden. And all of his friends are nodding their heads in agreement telling him how blessed he is to have you and Kristy for his mom and dad, and Kylah for his sweet sister.

Please know each of you are in my thoughts and prayers, Aaron, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Aaron]

Just wanted to check in and say that Kristy, Kylah and I are still doing "OK". This past weekend was a good weekend in terms of re-connecting with friends and family I hadn't seen in a long time. On Saturday Kristy and I went to a party for a high school friend of mine who'd gotten married in September. The party was at his parents' house, which is where I spent what seemed like every day after school playing some sport or watching TV. So it was good being back there again. Some things were exactly the same as I remember them. On Sunday I drove to East Texas to be at my half-brother's wedding. I had not spoken to my half-brother in a very long time, but my mom asked me to be there, so I attended. He was glad I was there and I am sure my mom was too. So it was a jam packed weekend of catching up with people.

After the wedding ceremony on Sunday, I called Kristy just to say hello. She was just wrapping presents for her sister's birthday dinner that night and then began crying out of nowhere. Turned out that she ran out of wrapping paper and the empty cardboard tube reminded her of Reggie. I would talk to Reggie through those wrapping paper tubes and for whatever reason he LOVED it. He'd start meowing at me with a totally different voice than usual - it was this very curious meow. It was just one of those "stealth" memories that popped up without any warning. I am sure there will be more of those memories pop up along the way.

She cried again that night in bed - she (as I) still misses him so much. She comments often how she is so lonely without him here and how Kylah, as much as we love her, cannot fill that void by herself. I don't think either of us truly understood how profound of an impact he had on our lives. We knew how special he was, but the hole he left in our hearts is still very big. I sometimes feel like I am not being a good husband because Kristy still feels such sadness, but there is nothing I or anyone else could do to help Kristy heal any faster. It's a process that takes as long as it takes.

[JanEeee]

Well, I sure know what happens when something triggers a memory of that beloved little animal that has passed on, always a jolt to the soul, amazing how they come out of the blue and knock you over with such power.

So far two friends have offered up new cats to me, you'd think people wouldn't be so clueless, but they sure can be. These are two people who have had pets for years and years themselves. Well, I guess they are probably just trying to find a homeless animal a good home. Guess I should try to appreciate that angle and the fact that they know the cat would get good care with me.

I am stumbling into the holiday season, trying to begin slowly and carefully and proceed as I am able. There have been many things to wrestle with in life lately, sometimes the stresses just pile up, so I'll try to be more grateful when the quieter more enjoyable times arrive.

Aaron, it is really great that you were willing to see your half-brother, it is such a healing experience to overcome old obstacles. There are several people who have chosen to disconnect from my life over the years, it is tough to deal with that. Sometimes it is something that just must be accepted, we cannot control what others do or how they live their lives.

Thanks again for all your supportive remarks, I wish you and your wife all the best this holiday season.

Jan

[AlexisMarie]

I'm glad that you and your family are doing "ok". Memories can be so painful in the beginning...but when the sadness passes then those memories become the best thing ever. Tell Kristy she is also in our thoughts and prayers....and we send her a nice big cyber hug

Annette

[Aaron]

Thanks Jan & Annette. I say we are doing "OK" since that is the best way to describe us. We aren't good and aren't bad. I'd say most days we are better than OK, but I know Kristy still misses Reggie and she knows I still miss Reggie. We don't have to say anything. No stockings are going up this year, I think it's just too difficult. We haven't lit the fireplace this year and might not, that's another thing that reminds us of him so much. He and his sister loved to lay next to the fireplace and soak in the warmth. I feel like we are taking away from Kylah by not doing things like the stockings and fireplace, but it's so painful because it's not the same without Reggie there. I am a little timid to ask my wife if I should light the fireplace, but I should probably ask her. We can't go on hiding from things like this forever.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Aaron, being able to get caught up on posts. I know what you mean about not being fair to Kylah about the fireplace, etc. I have a wood stove in the basement living quarters, and everyone enjoyed the warmth of the fire. But I haven't used the stove since Oslo joined the angels. I know Noah would truly enjoy having a fire in the wood stove, but - - we'll see. I would use it in an emergency power outage situation for sure.

Aaron, be comforted in knowing that Kylah will be okay with whatever is okay with you and Kristy. She is very sensitive to your emotions, and will not be comfortable if you and Kristy are upset. Just take your time, Aaron. Routines do change when a beloved companion joins the angels - - some from a practical need and some from an emotional need. So, whatever you and Kristy decide will be okay with Kylah.

Aaron, I hope you and Kristy will have a peaceful evening and upcoming weekend. Last weekend was a needed diversion. Please know you, Kristy, and Kylah are close in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Aaron]

Hello all, I wanted to update how we were all doing. We went on a skiing trip and got back on 12/16 - it was good to spend time with my wife and her sister and husband. While I was hoping I would be wrong, coming back home was particularly difficult for my wife. One of the best parts of coming home from a trip was seeing our two babies, but this time Reggie was not there to greet us. It was difficult to hear my wife say how she hated coming home, as I feel like I am failing in helping her heal from this loss. But all I can do is continue to be there for her during these hard times. She is doing better, but the triggers still pop up out of nowhere and bring us back to sadness. I feel like I am doing better, but not a day goes by that I don't miss Reggie and wish I could pick him up and hold him and hug him like I did every day he was with us.

This was the first time Kylah has been alone for this stretch of time, but luckily both our parents came by twice a day to feed and visit Kylah. The first night we were back Kylah woke us up what seemed like 10 times. Someone definitely missed us, as we missed her. She is being very sweet and is helping us through this difficult time. She is also spending more time with us in the living room, which she really didn't before Reggie's passing. We watched a movie on Sat night and she slept on the rug near where Reggie used to lay. It brings tears to me eyes thinking about that, but I am glad she is spending time with us in the living room. We're not sure if it's just a temporary thing from her missing us, but last night my parents came over for dinner and she came out and hung out in the living room with all of us there. That is very unlike her. We know she will never be a lap kitty like Reggie was (she still "squishes" on her blanket anytime my wife is in bed) but my wife is happy to see Kylah spending more time with us in the living room. My wife commented that maybe Kylah is laying on the rug in front of the couch since that was Reggie's spot - I am glad my wife was able to talk about Reggie like that without the tears.

I still hope we can welcome another fur ball into our home sometimes in the future, at least so Kylah can have another friend. I just wish we still had Reggie with us, he was so special and we miss him dearly.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Aaron, thank you so much for letting us know how you, Kristy, and Kylah are doing. Skiing!! There certainly is a LOT of snow places to choose from this year for skiing. It is hard coming back to "reality" after having a change of scenery. Aaron, you're not letting your wife down, and I think Kristy would tell you the same thing. You're there for her when she needs your comfort and support - - how could you possibly be letting her down?????

If I were to speculate about Kylah I would say that she is needing to be where Reggie's scent is because it's comforting to her, and she needs to be with her mom and dad. It took Noah about 2.5 years to finally abandon the comforter that had Eli's scent on it, and I waited several more weeks to wash it to make sure that Noah no longer needed it. He still is comforted laying on Abbygayle's towel and the comforter than Oslo laid on. When Abbygayle was physically with us, Noah preferred to sleep close by but never really snuggled with me. Abbygayle was my precious snuggles cuddle girl. Noah now snuggles and cuddles with me all the time when we're watching TV and he sleeps with me through the night. Remember, Kylah is a smaller relation to her larger lion cousins. Lions live in a "pride", and Reggie was her "pride" brother. You and Kristy are her remaining "pride" group, so her behavior doesn't surprise me. Could it be temporary? Perhaps, because she too is missing Reggie. One thing for sure, Aaron - - you and Kristy now have Kylah's "mystery" of behavior to share and enjoy - - hopefully for many years to come.

Aaron, I hope the coming days will be peaceful for you, Kristy, and Kylah. Please know each of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Aaron]

Thank you moon beam, I had not really thought about Kylah laying on the rug because of Reggie's scent. We know she still misses him so that does not surprise me. They were best buddies, so I bet you are right that being on that rug makes her feel better. I am sure part of it has to do with us being in the living room too. Whatever she does, we will enjoy her every day we can.

One thing I did not mention is that last Tuesday on our trip, Reggie visited me in my dreams for the first time in a pleasant manner. He was sitting on the floor and I went over and picked him up. It was good to see him again, even if it was just in my dreams. It felt so right to pick him up and hold him again. The next night I had a somewhat strange dream. Kylah, two unknown adult cats and an unknown kitten were present. Perhaps that was my subconscious telling me that someday we will be able to welcome more fur balls into our home. I don't want to read too much into it though.

I took some pictures using an older memory card and ran across some pictures of Reggie and Kylah from almost a year ago. So I wanted to share a few with everyone. First a few shots of Reggie.

[Aaron]

Here's a few of Kylah







This one I took tonight of Kylah lounging on *HER* bed. You can see her favorite toy, which we affectionately call her "super happy funky toy"

[Cheryl83]

Hi, Aaron,

What wonderful, precious pictures. I love the one of Reggie, where he is lying on his back, with such a cute look on his face. And the one of Kylah, where you are snuggling into her, and she is literally smiling. I love them all, but those two are my favourites. Thank you so much for sharing. You can tell that they are both such loved kittys

Cheryl x

[Aaron]

Thanks Cheryl, those are my favorites of the bunch too. I am glad I could share them and that you were able to enjoy them.

The picture in which Reggie is on his back is the exact spot that Kylah now lays, which seems fitting. Reggie loved laying on the green rug in our living room - it was *HIS* spot. It's where he loved to lay and also where he said his last goodbyes. I doubt we'll ever be able to get rid of this rug.

[AlexisMarie]

Those pictures are so sweet of your kids. I love it when kitties have that "Chester the Cat" permanent smile on their face and Kylah has that. I'm glad she has found comfort on Reggie's Rug.

I know how your wife feels......I sometimes hate coming home too. Maybe as she sees Kylah healing more and more she will too.

Hope you and your family have a nice holiday.

Annette

[moon_beam]

Hi, Aaron, thank you soo much for sharing these wonderful pictures of your precious Reggie and Kylah with us. When we think or become afraid that we are "forgetting" our beloved companions, pictures always help to remind us that we have preserved the eternal love bond we share with our beloved companions. I'm so glad you and Kristie have these wonderful pictures of cherish.

Please know you, Kristy, and Kylah are in my thoughts and prayers, and I will look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Aaron]

On this Christmas Eve I wanted to say how lucky and grateful I am for all the support everyone has given me and my family. I will be blunt, I wish none of us had to be on this forum as that would mean we had not been met with the loss of a pet. But that is the sacrifice we all make when we accept these special fur balls into our lives and homes. One of the unfortunate characteristics of life is that it is finite, but the love we have for our pets is not. I love Reggie today as much as I did when he was physically with us and I doubt that will ever change. It's amazing how profound an effect these animals can have on our lives and we are all better because of it.

The unconditional support we all provide one another is something that's very special and something I don't take for granted. I know I would be in worse shape had I not found this site. Even though we all share the common bond of losing a special loved one, I hope we can all remember the blessings we have today and have enjoyed through our lives. We must try our best to keep our heads up and remember that our fur balls who have left us would want us to enjoy each day we have on this Earth. Life is fragile so try to embrace each day the best you can.

Merry Christmas to all of you.

[Cheryl83]

That was beautiful, Aaron, and sooo true.

Merry Christmas to you and your wife.

Cheryl xx

[moon_beam]

Hi, Aaron, thank you so much for your wonderful post.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Aaron]

Thank you ladies, we are truly blessed to have all your support, it has been more than any gift we could have received during this difficult time. I know how important it is to receive support so I try to give back the best I can.

I was looking through an old photo album of Reggie and Kylah, which I had not looked at in a very long time. They contain mostly older photos when we first got Kylah, so I scanned a few of my favorites to share here. It helps me to share pictures of our babies and I hope you enjoy seeing them.

This was literally the first day we got Kylah from the shelter. Reggie was being a little unruly the first few days but he got over it. I can remember Reggie peeking his head around the corner of the bathroom and giving this pathetic hiss....he had a hard time being truly mad.



A glimpse at how I held Reggie on my shoulder every day he was with us. He loved flopping on my shoulder and I loved holding him. One of the few pictures we have of Reggie and me together.



Not 5 days after we adopted Kylah, the two of them were eating and drinking from the same bowl. Reggie welcomed Kylah into our home so quickly and lovingly. I can remember him sitting there flapping his tail as she played with it. He was such a good big brother. This is one of my very favorite pictures of the two of them.



Two best buddies

[Aaron]

I wanted to wish my sweet little Reggie a Merry Christmas. Even though I know you are looking over your Mommy, sister and me from up above, we wish more than anything that you were here with us still. Last night we baby sat a little three month old Maltese puppy and your sister came out and was very curious, which made us smile. We are glad she was curious to see another animal in the house. She didn't run and hide and was even a little jealous. I think we were meant to baby sit this little puppy so your sister could see another fur ball in our house and so we could know that someday we can welcome another pet into our home for her to befriend. She still misses you greatly, as we all do. Lucy the puppy sat up on the couch and even laid on your Mommy's lap, which was another little blessing. It was nice to see that she could love another fur ball, even if for just one night. It made me think of you and how you always laid up on her lap at night. Thank you for all you gave us during your stay on this Earth, that was a gift we will have with us forever. I hope you are able to play and rest where you are and we know you are looking down on us this Christmas day.