My Baby Girl Has Been Gone 11 Days. I Feel Better But Options

[Myszka]

She passed away July 9th and I could hardly breath without sobbing. The last 3 days now I am doing better. Not as emotional but something else happened. Suddenly I feel like Im disowning her, like she is a figment of my imagination and this is even worse. I still tear up and I miss her tremendously but I cannot help but feel guilty that my endless tears have stopped and now my tears are peppered throughout the day.

I miss her she was my little soulmate I would do ANYTHING to get her back

[kurt_t]

Yes, I recognize this stage. I think we've just about all of us been there. You feel like you're abandoning your pet because you're not feeling the grief as intensely. I think this is a stage you need to go through, because you need to let go of that 24-hour-a-day grief before you can get to the point of remembering the happy times with your pet and cherishing those memories. If it makes you feel any better, at 11 days, I was such a wreck I don't even remember what I was doing. I think I just went to work and stared at my monitor.

[My heart Cooper]

Iknow exactly how you feel. It will be nine weeks for me tomorrow since I lost my baby, Cooper. There are less tears now but it feels like he was never here sometimes. Luke it was all a dream and I never had him. His five tyllyears were way too short. I can't seem to summon up that intense love I had for him. It does get easier but the process is so strange at times.

[ladywolf]

The process IS strange, isn't it? I sometimes feel like I'm still waiting for Ladywolf to get back, like she's just gone on a long trip, and she'll walk through the door any day.

Yet I know that this isn't going to happen, because I watched her body being buried, and I know that she is gone. The attachments begin to weaken, and that DOES feel sad. I thought I could never live without her, yet here I am. I am not happy, but I am resigned to the awareness that she is gone, and that I will never feel that kind of intense bond ever again in my life, no matter what pets I bring into my life now and in the future. That unique bond is gone, and that is something to mourn.

Do not worry when you stop having the heaving sobs all the time--it is a sign that you are beginning to heal. Inevitably, some of your memories will soften, but that's what healing is all about. We must let go of our attachments to some degree in order to be able to move on and live our lives. Our beloveds will live on in our hearts no matter what!

Big hugs from Margi, Miss Spiritwolf, and Leopold the Terrible

[John S]

I know what you mean I felt that if I stoped grieving I was somehow abandonong Nikita. That's not true but somehow it's hard to let go of the grief; it's almost like letting go of them all over again. But as time passes, although there are setbacks, it does get better we do go on and one day the memories will be sweet.

John

[Zola]

Yes. Agreed. I too am grappling with all this. It's been a week for me now since my loss. I've even thought of getting another puppy at some point, but every time I wander to that thought, I give it up, as I don't want to replace the memory of my little boy, or betray him, or something...make sense??? If I grow to love another dog, I fear I'll forget my little boy that had to leave me...I still can't believe he's gone. It's like a blur. I feel like I was standing in the emergency room only an hour ago holding him, now he's asleep.

Love to All
x

[Myszka]

I miss my baby boo so much but I have not cried as much as I was expected to. I hear people telling me they too get pass the initial pain of loss but that weeks later it hits them like a ton of bricks all over again.


Zola I too dont know and did not want another pet its only been 12 days since I lost my snuggle bug. But I went to shelters and I am now foster mom to a wonderful mommy cat and her 5 day old babies... I needed this. I do not know if down the road I will adopt the mommy but right now I feel good doing it.

I think I saw my Myszka's shadow running across the living room last night.. her tail up in the air running over to where the foster mother was. I hope so she was a good mommy herself and she can help the little buggers.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Myszka, what you are feeling is normal with the deep grief easing a bit. A thought came to me over the weekend that the grief journey is sort of like a boxing match - - the "time outs" are those times when we're in our corners in between rounds, but before we know it we're back in center ring dodging the right hooks, the left hooks, and those knock out punches - - not always successfully. I assure you there is no humor in this grief journey &%^ogy.

I assure you, Myszka, you will NEVER forget your precious boy. NEVER EVER IN A MILLION QUADRILLION YEARS!!!! Your precious Myszka is indelibly etched in your heart and memories, and NOTHING can ever take his sweet precious Living Spirit from you.

I am glad you feel comfortable fostering. I have been musing over this for me and Noah - - perhaps come the fall. I would love to foster a mom with her baby kittens. I think Noah would be in his element taking care of wee ones - - like he did his baby sister, but then there is a difference between taking care of your baby sister and "strangers." But I'm so o o glad that it is working out for you. I think your precious Myszka is pleased, too, with what you're doing.

Myszka, thank you so much for sharing with us how things are going for you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[wchamilton]

I lost my dog Winston on Sunday after he was hit by a car. I still am a total wreck, my wife more so.... Winston was only 4 years old and to lose him so suddenly is absolutely heart-wrenching.

As odd as this sounds, one thing that's helping me right now is the death of my mother in 2008. That taught that in time I WILL heal, I WILL smile again, and I WILL think of Winston without breaking down into tears. And when that day comes it doesn't mean that I love or miss him any less; it means simply that I have moved on. My life is better for knowing Winston and we gave him four of the most spoiled, love-filled years that any dog could hope for.