Goodbye Beloved Friend, Pet Death Options

[Libertybelle]

We had to put our faithful friend, Dede, down this morning. It is very hard to let her go -- I am thankful I found this forum, I realize that many of us go through the same sad feelings. Dede - we love you and we will always miss you!

[bustozf]

Hey there,

I just began reading all these online posts and started crying uncontrollably. But i know it is good for me. I hope you can give me some insight on how to deal with my loss.I got my boy Bear when I was 22 from the humane shelter in portland , Oregon. I am now 31. We became immediate buddies and eventual best friends. We traveled to Olympic Natl. Park in Washington, through Idaho, Montana, Colorado, Utah, New Mexico, Arizona, and even all the way to Florida. He was my buddy. He used to do many weird things that I never saw other dogs do. And due to his size, he was 127lbs, and he carried it well; this behavior would freak people out. For instance he loved to greet people by burying his head intheir crotch, this really freaked out some of my male friends who hadn't previously met Bear. He also like to come from behind and run through your legs, another scary prospect to consider when you reliaze his size. Aslo if you blew in his face he would bite the air,,,I never understood that. Bear grew older and slowed down like all dogs must, but I always felt like Bear would live forever, or at least to 15 0r 16. Well he passed away last Sat. Feb.28th, suddenly. I feel horrible, and more sad and in a state of shock, denial and utter disbelief that I could have ever imagined. Friends ask me if I will get another dog, but I can't even imagine the thought. I still cant believe he is gone as I write this. Everytime I go through all his pictures for comfort I just breakdowm in sorrow. everytime I feel like I will be ok, another wave of emotion brings me back to the realization that I will never hug him again, blow in his face or see the suprise in my friends face when he comes running through their legs. There are so many things about him I will miss.....this really sucks. Any ways your story has made me cry, but I feel your pain and hopefully one day I will figure out how to deal with Bear's passing.

frank

[Libertybelle]

((( frank )))
we put Dede out of her suffering a few hours ago - I'm still crying. I know that eventually the pain will pass and I'll remember the things she did with a smile, but for now it's too hard to think without crying. I DO know how you feel. You spend that many years with your pet and s/he IS a member of the family.
I'm sorry that you are going through this too --
We have another dog and still it seems quiet and somber here. He knows something is not right too, he whined and cried when we took Dede out that last time. Maybe in time you will feel ready to get another faithful companion -- not one to replace your baby, but when you're ready to give that love to another animal, you'll know it's right. I read something earlier that just touched me -- it said the best place to bury a dog is in its masters heart - isn't that so true? If we keep them alive in our hearts and minds and talk about them with people who remember them too, they kind of live on forever. No one who is remembered ever truly dies -- I like to think that is true.
Again, ((( hugs ))) to you on your loss - I'm so sorry.

lori

[bustozf]

Lori,

Thanks for the comfort. Everything you said I feel is true. I grieve with you. I am very sorry for your loss too. Funny I was reading a lot of things on these posts bout some people not being able to relate to the intense grieving "real" pet lovers can endure during the ever so long good bye process. I only feel a sense of sadness for these people not to have that special gift of understanding what a loving bond is between to living things. It also makes me feel a little better to realize the the bond I had with my pet was truly special, as was yours. I send you hugs and love.

Frank

[Muffins]

Dear Lori:

I am sorry for the loss of your DeDe. The loss of a "furbaby" is awful & painful, and it hurts so much.
I've only been here since 2/7/2004, so this is still new to me. I just remember that the first few days and into the week, I had the most horrific migraine, my eyes were so puffy from continuous crying, and my heart ached horribly. No matter how long any of us has had our babies, their death is so very painful.
One person on this site said to me, "you took on Ernestine's pain so that she would be without pain"...... I cling to that thought, because it's true. I hated to see her suffer; retching and losing weight. She was my only child - I was 23 when I bought her ($10.00/for her shots), and I'm now 43. Yes, I did have her for almost 20 years, and I am grateful, but really, no time is ever long enough.
You said, "no one who is remembered ever truly dies"........ I for one, definitely agree..
I say that the beautiful thing about memories is that "NO ONE CAN TAKE THEM AWAY"..... they will forever be in your heart and in your head.

I still cry, but then I will laugh as well. The tears are very healing and I think an extremely necessary part of losing a loved one.... But, one day (it was much sooner than I thought for me), I started to laugh..thinking of my girl and the funny things she'd do.
I still sleep with her beanie babies: a lemur and a lion. They were her favorites.

God Bless you.... look through all the posts; I did that in the beginning.. I know that they helped to get me this far..
Love, Denise

[Libertybelle]

thank you, both, for your kind words, they really do mean a lot to me.
Dede was fine Sunday - Monday she had a slight bulging and by yesterday, she had a severe vaginal prolapse. This was sudden and unexpected and it seems incomprehensible that my dog was frolicking on Sunday and is gone today. I think that's why it's so hard to digest - she was here last night, we took her to the vet to see what could be done and now she's gone forever. We've had her since she was 3 years old - she was 10 - that's a long time, but not long enough.
We made the heart wrenching decision to let her go gracefully this morning. We took off work, the kids stayed home from school (they are 13 and 14, this is their first experience with the finality of death) and we pampered her as best we could - treated her with goodies, pet her, took her to her favorite walking spot outside so she could sniff around one last time. We also took a roll of film of her with all of us and just lying around looking cute. I miss that silly little dog - she was goofy and entertaining and lovable and funny. She did things that would make us crack up.
I have read a few of the posts here already and they make me sad knowing that others are going through the same emotions that we are dealing with here. I hope she's in a better place now, that ALL the fubabies we've all lost are in a better place -- thank you for this forum to express how we feel.

[Muffins]

Lori:

Thank you for putting in the beautiful picture of your beloved DeDe. (My nickname is DeeDee)...
You are absolutely correct...no time is EVER ENOUGH!!! I had my Ernie for almost 20 years, and yes, I am grateful and I do thank the dear Lord that Ernie was with me for that long.
I feel bad that DeDe had only 7 years with you...but, I am very happy that you & your family were able to shower her with love for those 7 years - And, for DeDe to shower all of you with the most "non-judgemental" love that all of our "furbabies" just have.....
I cried hearing you write about the "last loving morning" that you let DeDe enjoy. (I wish I did that with Ernie). But, I am sincerely happy that you all shared a lovely morning, full of love & pictures, and her favorite treats, her favorite walking spot......... Wow!!!
I remember clearly the morning that I called Ben to let him know that the vet was in (& it was a Saturday - he's never in).... Ernie was on her perch and "stood up" and looked out the window at the new fallen snow.... It was almost as if she knew. Here are the tears again. God, I miss that girl.. Just to pat her soft fur once again. To look into her precious eyes.........
How are your "human children" doing? They're 13 & 14... I just wonder how they are taking the passing of DeDe?? I remember when I was 14... my "furboy" Sandy, got hold of my hamster while I was asleep.. He lifted Snoopy's little habitrail door, and I don't know what happened.. All I know is what I saw that was left of my Snoopy. I was out of school for a week. I had my snoopy for 2 years...... "People" thought I was crazy... but, they were the ones that had no heart.. I was a lonely kid & missed my Snoopy...
Our furbabies are in a better place.... No more suffering, no more pain. Of that, I am really sure!!!!
This is a wonderful site, so please stick around for awhile.
I'll be thinking about you & your family....
Love, Denise

[Libertybelle]

Oh Denise - now you are making me fill up with your memories of Ernie! It's amazing how they get inside our hearts and don't let go, isn't it? Wow, 20 years, that is amazing, isn't it? And still, if only Ernie could have stayed another 20. I'm really sorry for your loss too -- it breaks my heart.
It must be hard for you as it is for us to break the routines that filled our days all these years -- no more "Stay!" as I open the bedroom door, only having to fill one water and food bowl here instead of two, no more waiting an eternity for her to finish outside, she'd take forever circling and sniffing lol. While I still feel awful that we did it, I'm glad it was yesterday - today is cold and raining and Dede hated rain. I'm glad she got to walk in the sunshine one last time.
Denise, thank you again for your sweet thoughts and for sharing your memories of Ernie - they are touching! Frank - if you read this again, I hope you are feeling just a tiny bit less pain today, I know you're still thinking of Bear. God bless all of us who've recently lost our friends
lori

[Libertybelle]

we got Delilah's pictures back from the photo shop today -- they made me cry. Looking at her, I never realized how old she was looking - her fur was not as red anymore, her eyes looked so sad. I know she realized something was terribly wrong. We're going to choose the best looking one of the bunch and take it to be enlarged, then we'll mat the picture with her tag, a tuft of her fur that we cut off that morning and the verse "The best place to bury a good dog is in her masters heart" underneath it. I think that will be a fitting tribute to my sweet girl. It will hang prominently on the wall.
God I miss her so much ...

lori

[Muffins]

"The best place to bury a good dog is in her masters heart".....
I love that; it's beautiful!! DeDe will be happy...
That speaks volumes...... That is a wonderful tribute to your DeDe

My Ernestine, she occupies my heart, my soul and, my mind..... That's where she will always be.

We love our furchildren sooooooooooo much!!!!

I know all of our furbabies are looking down upon us and smiling..... I know they're happy that we have a wonderful site to go to, to comfort & be comforted.....

Ernie never liked it when I was sad, I'm sure that's the same for everyone elses babies... They just "know"!!!! She's my girl....

[Libertybelle]

Well here I was all proud of myself that I wasn't breaking down in tears anymore, I could actually talk about Delilah without sobbing. Then last night, I reached in the basket next to my bed and found her tin of doggie breath mint treats and fell apart all over again. I had brought them home a few weeks ago and let both dogs try some. Teddy looked at me like "You're kidding right?" and Dede (as usual) inhaled them as fast as i could feed them to her. I put them away figuring I'd give her more later on, didn't want her to get sick on the entire tin of them. And then I found them last night and it hit me that she'll never get to enjoy them again.
Then this morning, I took the huge tuft of hair of hers that I have saved and smelled it again (the "wood box-y" smell wore off -I'd mistakenly put it in a box - now I'm leaving it on the dresser so it doesn't get that other smell!) Anyhow, without even really thinking what would happen, I put it in front of Teddy's nose (he was lying on our bed) and he started sniffing it hard and had a look on his face ... like "Where is my pal?" It broke my heart all over again and I had to have myself another good cry.
I thought it would get easier but things keep pulling me back to that day and get me crying all over again. I know it is still very soon, I understand it will pass, but Lord how it hurt last night and this morning.

lori

[shadded dreams]

I know very much how you feel. My beloved Zipper has had to eat TUMS (antacids) since he was a pup. Zip would get so excited to see me, he'd throw up. So, the vet had me give him TUMS once a day, to cut down the acid he threw up. So, then it began. A nightly ritual of eating TUMS together. Then we adopted our Toto. And Toto has gotten into the nightly ritual. All I have to do is shake the TUMS bottle, and Zip and Toto would run. Zip would do his usual begging, his sweet little "say please". He would make all kinds of crazy noises. SOOOOOO CUTE!! Well, the other night I bumped the bottle, and Toto came running, (we haven't had TUMS since the night Zip died). I just shook my head, and then here came the tears. The TUMS bottle is still by my bed, as if waiting for Zip to come home. But he isn't coming home. I don't know if I just should throw the TUMS away now. I don't know if I could bear to share them without Zip being here. That was our special thing. Is that selfish to Toto? Or selfish to say a new dog,(if I got one)? I just don't see me sharing them with any other doggie. I know how you feel, I used to get the same excited look every time. And then they'd gobble them down like they haven't eaten in year. Then give the urgent look as if to say.......I NEED MORE... I feel with you. I really do. Keep you head up, we sound alot alike. Please post back to let me know what you've done, and how things are going. Thanks for giving me someone to identify with..........Zippers Mom

[Libertybelle]

Well it's been over a month now ... I wish I could say the pain is gone but it's not. It's easier, for sure, but still there. Frequently I find myself saying "the dogs" rather than "the dog", then it makes me feel very sad again.
My kids friends have a small black Pomeranian and they were over the other day with Fluffy - she reminded me a lot of Dede - she growls the same lol. We brought Teddy out to see if he'd play with Fluffy, but they both growled at each other.
The kids and I are talking more and more about getting another dog. My son is afraid it will be like trying to replace her, but I disagree. I think when we get another dog, we'll be comparing the new one to Dede, so we'll always be reminded of her and the things she did.
I hope the older members here are finding it easier to cope with the loss of your companions -- it's heartbreaking to read the new members posts, I remember how raw and aching it feels that first week or so.
Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers, hoping the pain eases with each day.
Happy Easter to everyone

Lori

[LittleGirl's...]

Lori,

I just read through the posts on DeDe. What a precious little furchild.

She's in total bliss now, and she's grateful that you've been her Mom... You'll be reunited when it's your time, too.

I lost my Little Girl on March 24. You mentioned DeDe's tuft of fur---I'm doing the same thing with Little Girl's "angel fur"...

Write any time. I'm thankful to be here on this journey with others who truly understand.

God bless,
Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy

[Muffins]

Hi Lori:

I've been reading through some "older" posts, (not that old), and I was wondering how you and your family are doing??

I think of something that you used to say...."No one who is remembered every truly dies"...
How true that statement is....

Hope that all is well......

Take care!

Love, Denise

[Libertybelle]

hi Denise
Things are going well here. We still talk about (and miss) Delilah quite a bit. Here's a picture of our new dog (with Teddy)

Thanks for thinking of me -- I hope you're doing well too!
Take care,
Lori

[Muffins]

Hi Lori:

Both of your dogs are beautiful...........

And, I love the way that they both sat and posed for their picture!!!

We're doing well........ we adopted Ms. Lucy and Mr. Yoster one month after our Ernie-Bird went to the Bridge.....
We rescued them from a shelter....
They were abused by their former "owner"....(I use that term extremely "lightly"....)

I'll try and put their pictures in this post, but I'm not really "computer literate"......
Let me try anyway...

I'm glad to hear things are going well for you and your family, Lori...
It is hard.............
At least we know that our precious babies will forever live on in our hearts....

Take good care,

Love, Denise