Goodbye Big Bear

Hey there,

I just began reading these online forums and started crying uncontrollably. . I hope you can give me some insight on how to deal with my loss.I got my boy Bear when I was 22 from the humane shelter in portland , Oregon. I am now 31. We became immediate buddies and eventual best friends. We traveled to Olympic Natl. Park in Washington, through Idaho, Montana, Colorado, Utah, New Mexico, Arizona, and even all the way to Florida. He was my buddy. He used to do many weird things that I never saw other dogs do. And due to his size, he was 127lbs, and he carried it well; this behavior would freak people out. For instance he loved to greet people by burying his head intheir crotch, this really freaked out some of my male friends who hadn't previously met Bear. He also like to come from behind and run through your legs, another scary prospect to consider when you reliaze his size. I will upload his pic as soon as I get my scanner going. Aslo if you blew in his face he would bite the air,,,I never understood that. Bear grew older and slowed down like all dogs must, but I always felt like Bear would live forever, or at least to 15 0r 16. Well he passed away last Sat. Feb.28th, suddenly. I feel horrible, and more sad and in a state of shock, denial and utter disbelief that I could have ever imagined. Friends ask me if I will get another dog, but I can't even imagine the thought. I still cant believe he is gone as I write this. Everytime I go through all his pictures for comfort I just breakdowm in sorrow. everytime I feel like I will be ok, another wave of emotion brings me back to the realization that I will never hug him again, blow in his face or see the suprise in my friends face when he comes running through their legs. There are so many things about him I will miss.....I cant imagine ever having another awesome special friend like that.....this really sucks. Any ways thesed online stories have made me cry and smile, I just wanted to express my feelings of sorrow and pain to someone who would understand. because I truly now feel their pain and hopefully one day I will figure out how to deal with Bear's passing. Right now I can only sit here all teared up

frank in Austin, Tx.