How Do I Stop Crying?, My friend is gone forever Options

[ilovejinx]

Love Them,

I really feel for your loss and hope that you feel some peace with your baby being gone. I had to put Jinx down also and have never had to do that before, it was peaceful watching him let go and at the same time it was horrible. Thank you for your kind words to me in my first posting, I did write a letter to jinx and it did make me feel a little better. There is a song that I listen to that helps me to think of the good times, but is also somewhat sad, it is by Allison Kruase called Baby of Mine. Anyway I know that it is hard, Jinx has only been gone a short time and we didnt have him for ten years or anything, but he was still very near and dear to my heart. Hang in there I am sure that it can only get better and the memories you have will help you through this tough time. I can't stop crying either, but I also know from everything I have read on this forum that time does heal.

Feel Better.......

[LoveThem]

Ilovejinx:

Thank you for your kind words. I am glad my post to you helped you in any way...it is just so important to realize at times when we lose our special ones..that we are not alone...our pain is shared by so many who know exactly how we feel. That helps so much. I always have the thought that when I lose one...the world should stop and grieve with me...instead each day looks like the one before as if nothing momentous just occurred in our lives.

These babies, whether with us for a short time or a number of years, possess our hearts the moment they come into our lives. If they are young, we wish they had more years with us...if they are older, again we wish they had more years with us. Our wish for time with them is really that we wish it to be forever. It cannot be forever physically but our hearts and memories are filled with their love for us and our for them and that does last forever. That cannot be taken away from us.

It makes me feel good to walk into a room in my home and see a beautiful picture of my special ones. They many times were looking directly into the camera and into my eyes and now their pictures do the same and I feel the connection we had. I enjoyed posting their pictures in the Tributes Section so any time I visit here, I can go there and smile at their healthy times and the contentment I see in them in the pictures.

I, too have written a letter to my special ones, especially Little Guy who I had the longest and who I lost most recently which left me with an empty home that I was only able to live with for a few months. I adopted a shelter kitty and named him, Lucky, and the distraction he gives me helps a lot. His newest thing is when I pick him up first thing in the morning..I hug him and say "Good Morning, Lucky" and he proceeds to lick my face like a lollipop. He is able to give me his unconditional love which I missed so much losing my others.

He will never replace my Little Guy and his twin brother, Keeper, and of course, the little diva Sister they had, named Little Girl.
But it helps me to watch him and laugh at his antics and know he needed a home and had love to give and my home and heart needed him as well.

You are correct in that time does it own special way of healing. We will love them forever, miss them forever but we have their memories forever and they will reside in our hearts for all eternity. They are too special to EVER forget!

Hugs to you. I appreciate your kind words and stopping by my baby's thread here. He really was very special to me from the day he was born. He knew it and I knew it.

[LoveThem]

Yes, things can change so much from a year ago. Last May my Little Guy still felt okay, ate good, and was still running through the house like a "freight train". Soon it will be his birthday and he was here last year for that day. As far as I am concerned, he is still here only to see him I have to look at his pictures. As far as petting him the closest I can do there is take the bit of his fur I have kept and hold it and feel its softness..the hair still is alive and feels special to the touch. I will be wishing him a Happy Birthday soon...as long as I have birthdays...he will too. We are bonded together forever.

[LoveThem]

Little Guy:

Wherever you are right now....HAPPY BIRTHDAY... you would have been 17 today along with your brother and sister and I will wish them birthday thoughts also.

I am so glad you were with me as long as you were allowed.....in all my years you were with me the longest of anyone. You started out as a kitten who became sick with pneumona at about 6 weeks and were fine until last July when you changed. It was never proven but all signs pointed to cancer somewhere inside you. Your twin brother did have cancer in 2002. Your sister had something unknown and left in 2006 and then you, the strongest of all, leaving in September 2007.

I see your pictures everyday and will always do so. I wish you were here physically...healthy but it was not meant to be. It just seems odd sometime that you left in September and our new cat, Lucky, arrived at the SPCA in September looking for a home. I didn't go looking until December and that's when I found him...his eyes remind me of yours at times..but then when I look at your picture and into your eyes there.....only you have that look. Did you have to leave because he was found at that time and needed a home?
Sometimes I think that is why you babies do leave...so some of us look around..wanting that unconditional love again and missing it so much from you.

We love you and miss you and there are things of yours that will always be with us so that a part of you, in some way, will always be physically here.

It is your birthday today....born in our backyard in the bushes and discovered while watering the bushes. It is not a "happy" day but it is a special day......the day you came into our lives...a day we will never forget.

Love and hugs, baby boy

[LoveThem]

Joanne: Your post on the last page was really nice and I thank you for the nice words. As for you thinking of LIttle Guy, Little Girl, and Keeper on today, what would have been their 17th birthday, I know you would have loved to have known them. The chubby boys were such fun to hug.

Little Guy: I already wrote you a post today on the last page but again I say....this is YOUR DAY. This is the day the 3 of you came into our lives for many years so it can be a Happy Birthday remembering it that way. You were here last year on your birthday and you still felt good. How quickly things can change in so short a time. I am so sorry you were taken away so soon.

Love from both of us...to our baby boy....our gentle giant...and a real sweetheart.

[goliath]

Here's wishing Little Guy a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY today.

As you keep Little Guy, Keeper, and Little Girl alive in your heart may you feel blessed in knowing you have shared their lifetimes of remembrances with them in the most loving kind of way.

By sharing all the love you have for these 3 siblings, you have brightened and encouraged others to remember all the past happier memories they have also made with their loved ones who have passed away. Celebrating Little Guy's birthday today and sharing the joys you lived with him is a true testiment of the purest kind of love that lives within you.

I wish you sweet and peaceful dreams tonight as you remember Little Guy and just how special he was and still is.

Much love and many hugs to you and all of your kittyloves on this very special day.

[LoveThem]

Well- said, Beth. Thank you for all those beautiful words and thoughts. Yes, Little Guy is with me everyday, His pictures are everywhere so I make sure he is in my thoughts. That was almost 17 years of daily living together.....creating a very strong bond
that will always be. He is truly my baby boy. Now the tears start so I will go.

Thank you again for a beautiful message for him and me.

Judy

[LoveThem]

Joanne...anything that makes us feel good is a wonderful moment in time for us. Always glad to hear when one of us has those moments...They are something to treasure. We will cry forever for these babies..no matter how much time has passed but again I would take them into my life and home if I had it to do over..even knowing they can't stay forever..and be grateful for the time they are allowed to stay with us.

Sweet dreams.....

[LoveThem]

By helping others, we, in turn, are helping ourselves. Sometimes it is overwhelming to read about so much sorrow but we recognize it is all the same sorrow...not really multiple ones. When someone says a thought or a picture or a suggestion helps them...it also helps us.

I love having Little Guy's pictures where I do and also his sister and twin brother. I feel them with me here whenever I visit because their pictures are here. Just like the pictures at home in all the rooms make me feel they are there....sometimes I wishful think that they are there physically....just out of my sight...like around a corner from where I am. What beautiful years we all had together.

Thanks for the kind words.

[LoveThem]

Little Guy:

Today is a day of tears. I miss you everyday and I think of you when I hug Lucky now. He is only 10 lbs and you were 16 lbs and I do notice the difference. I can hold him standing up but you were one of my twin teddy bears and when I picked you up, I had to sit down but you didn't care. In fact I remember I could put you over my shoulder and you just stayed wherever I put you. It was kind of like having a cat scarf. You were truly a gentle giant.

There are so many here who are beginning their sadness fresh or are anticipating a sadness and when I read what they write, I again feel the pain of losing you which is the same pain they are going through.

You babies are so special because you never judge us..you accept us for what we are and love us just the same. I am glad you never met the humans who seem to always judge others..they really are those who are so unhappy inside..sometimes it seems their mission in life is to make others miserable...they take too literally the human saying...misery loves company. By being born in our backyard...I saw to it you were never exposed to those types of people. I think that is one reason it hurts so much to lose you babies.....we can never get enough of your unconditional love..it helps us cope with the unfairness in life and the "judges" of this world.

I wish again the 3 of you...you, your twin brother, Keeper, and your diva sister, Little Girl were
once more in our home and a part of our everyday life. I will never stop wishing that. I am so thankful for almost 17 years of having at least one of you here and 10 years of all 3 of you.

Love and hugs every single day of every single year of the rest of our lives here at home.
"mom" and "dad"

(that's 3 hugs, one for each of you).

[havana]

Love Them, I was just reading your thoughts and you brouth tears to my eyes, you are such a good big hearted person that I wish I could do something much better that giving you my modest words of compation becouse I know exactly the way you feel. Here goes five big hugs one for Little Guy, one for Keeper, one for Little Girl, one for Mom and another one for Dad, God Bless, Jorge.

[goliath]

You babies are so special because you never judge us..you accept us for what we are and love us just the same. I am glad you never met the humans who seem to always judge others..they really are those who are so unhappy inside..sometimes it seems their mission in life is to make others miserable...they take too literally the human saying...misery loves company.

It sounds as though you are having a very difficult day Judy. Even those who seem to judge us at times may not intend to hurt us. You are so right when you say the unconditional love our furbabies give us is like no other. That's the inborn beauty they give us without having to have a reason behind it. Their minds are open where sometimes humans get caught up in their own way of thinking how others should be. Sometimes it helps me to look at other peoples perspectives and allows me to see a bigger picture so I can better understand.

I hope you are feeling better and have a great day today as you remember all the joys of happiness that Lucky, Keeper, and Little Girl brought into your life.

Much love to you Judy,
Beth

[LoveThem]

Our greatest gift from our babies is their lack of judgment of us. I believe it is written...Judge not least ye be judged....that is a wise saying. I have never seen a judgment not hurt someone...it seems to be based on wanting to control others...that's why our babies "unconditional" love for us is so wonderful and brings such meaning into our lives.

That's also why I feel sorry for those who do not care for animals as they must face the judgment of others alone...whereas we look to our babies for comfort when we feel hurt..and they are always there for us. And why our grieving for their loss never ends. So many know that their babies are the truest "best friend" they will ever find...I believe that's a part of their purpose on this earth.

Humans are not created as perfect and yet they seem to expect others to fall into their expected idea of the right way to do or say something or...be judged by someone's internal standard..someone who is not perfect themself. I remember hearing another saying..something about...If you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all. I just hope that especially those who are truly grieving do not experience anymore hurt than already the loss of their special ones has caused due to unthinking remarks that may be made by ones who should be looking in a mirror and ask themselves how would they feel having others judge how they express their grief.

Thank you, Little Guy, Keeper, Little Girl, and all my past sweet ones who were always there when the tears started and did not leave until the last tear was gone. Your unconditional love and understanding that hurt was there...and so you were there is truly a miracle we are all given the opportunity to experience....all we have to do is open our hearts and our homes and let you in.

[LoveThem]

Little Guy:

I really need you here today...you know when I am anxious about anything..you were right there next to me..you were such a beautiful calming influence in my life. Lucky..the new kitty..is young and full of play but today I could use the steadiness of our over 16 years together where we could just look into each other's eyes and somehow that made things okay.

I don't know why you were taken away when there was a lot left for you to do in my life but I am glad I had you with me so many years..what an absolute blessing that is.

Who knew on that fateful Memorial Day in 1991 when you all were born in our backyard to a wild momma cat, I would be adopted by 3 kitties who became a part of my life forever and who made a very special impact all their own...I loved every minute of it when all 3 of you were healthy and happy. It was nice being the center of your universe too!

Hugs and love to all 3 babies..especially my twin boys...what a wonderful experience you gave me.

[myhrtisbrkn]

Hugs from BK. Amos, Birga, and me. I'm so sorry your Little Guy isn't there to comfort you i know how you feel. My Mackie-dog was my big, strong, steady one. When I was anxious he used to come put his head in my lap and lean on me as hard as he could, until we'd both fall over and I'd start to laugh.
Lord, how I miss him.


love to Lucky,
Dayna

Ps. I just realized I've mentioned,but not formally introduced, Birga ( she is every bit as pampered as she appears to be ).

Attached image(s)

 

[LoveThem]

Hi, Dayna:

Thanks for stopping by and adding your comments. I do understand your description of you and Mackie-dog. They really do love to do that, don't they? And you find yourself looking into what are usually big, soft, brown eyes...and everything seems right with the world for a little while.

I love your picture of Birga..she can't be spoiled..that's only ONE pillow!

Seriously though I had a small surgery removing skin cancer from my nose today and felt traumatic and quite anxious about it....those are the times the ones who have been with us so many years..through thick and thin....well, wishing they were here just comes so naturally.

Hugs back to you and Amos and Birga, and especially BK....from me and Lucky too!

Judy

[Monkey's daddy]

I'm so sorry about your sweet boy. He is such a cutie. Black cats are so cool aren't they? I always wondered why people associate them with bad luck and evil and all that nonsense. Monkey was the sweetest most gentle thing I had ever seen in my life, as I'm sure was your Little Guy. From the pictures I seen of him in the tributes section it looks like he lived a very comfortable and pampered life. Bless you for that. Its just such a major design flaw in this world that these terrible diseases and maladies have to afflict our babies.

Your vet sounds like my last couple of vets....clueless. I think there needs to be stricter education and training, I mean, after all, these people call themselves "doctors", dont they? I have some other names I like to call them personally.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss and what you had to go through.

[misskittymc]

Your vet sounds like my last couple of vets....clueless. I think there needs to be stricter education and training, I mean, after all, these people call themselves "doctors", dont they? I have some other names I like to call them personally.

I know, these are the people we trust with our babies' lives. My Ginger was sick for a while, I took her to three different vets and didn't get a diagnosis until over a year later, from the 3rd vet... God bless him, he was great to us, but probably a little too late... My baby could've probably had a few more quality years with me. I will definitely trust my gut from now on. We know our babies so well, that if we think something is wrong, we should seek a second or third opinion, if that's what it takes.

Btw, I have a black kitty named Shanti. They're just beautiful little panthers.

[LoveThem]

Monkey's Daddy:
I can totally agree with all you said. And I guess the tale of black cats just comes from them being associated with Halloween and witches who are tied to bad luck...so I guess the kitties suffer from that association. When I was about 9 years old I had a neighbor who had a beautiful black cat which I adored and I always have since then but I never had one until my 3 were born in my backyard in 1991 to a feral mom, who was silver-gray and I saw the dad sleeping in my yard once, he was coal black and the biggest cat I have ever seen in my life.

My husband told me once that a friend of his who had been a mailman for many years always said the friendiest furbaby he ever found was a black cat. I'm surprised there isn't a special website...I see so many beautiful babies here and many of us, when we get another...just HAPPEN to again get a black beauty.

You said: Again, I'm sorry for your loss and what you had to go through.

Thank you for that and that loss that we all go through is exactly why we become a family here and being here keeps reminding us we are never alone in our feelings, our thoughts, sad or happy memories...we all share a grief and a knowing of a special one that binds us together. Even though the loss is devastating, we all know the joy of having been blessed with them for whatever time we were given.

Little Guy lived to be 16 1/2 and left Sept 07. His sister, Little Girl left in June 06. The first loss was Little Guy's twin brother, Keeper, who we lost in 2002. So I do remember 3 not so long ago frantic attempts to save them but we lost each battle..one by one.
I couldn't take an empty home so I got my new boy, Lucky, from the SPCA. He looks similar to my boys...the longer haired type of black kitty. And sometimes when I hold him, my husband says from a distance it reminds him of me holding Little Guy. That makes me smile. I'm glad you saw my pictures to my 3 in Tributes. They are the good memories I try to remember when I feel the sadness coming on. I am so very glad I was allowed the time I was...of course, I wanted more but I was not allowed to have them longer and I can't do anything about that.

I do know that over the lifetime as each special one left, I did open my heart and home to another I would never have known so while by choice I never would part with any, I also am glad my live included the new ones that came over the years, including Little Guy and his siblings.

MissKittymc:
I agree with you about getting more opinions and hope that we are being guided to the right vet at the right time.
I love your picture of Shanti. She reminds me of my Little Girl...who also has a thread in Tributes and, in a way, Shanti's eyes remind me of all 3 siblings and also my new one , Lucky..whose pictures are in New Beginnings. I guess I find myself taking more pictures now because I realize we never do know how much time we are given. I didn't take too many kitten pictures of my 3 just because I figured there was lots of time but kittens grow up fast. It would have helped to have known or had disposable cameras in 1991 like I do now.

I appreciate everyone stopping by. It is nice to hear your thoughts and feelings. It's kind of like coming here and finding HUGS where I expect to feel the sadness of Little Guy's loss. I still can think..he was here last year at this time and in this month, he was feeling good...that reminds me how recent it really is. But hugs from me to everyone for your good thoughts.

[LoveThem]

There is just a lot of extra sadness going on right now so the best we can do is try and help each other through the pain.
Sometimes trying to ease another's pain helps us ease our own. Your posts have helped others too especially since you have gone through so much with CRF and can let someone new to such a problem know...what might help.

I see many new people in pain here reaching out to help others and what a wonderful thing to see....that just has to be our "angels" guiding us to help others knowing that in doing that, many times we are actually helping ourselves.

And it helps to remember things like this when we encounter some people in life wherever we are...that are just not the same as the rest of us. Sometimes others forget the idea is to help RELIEVE pain. But thank goodness people without feelings are so in the minority.

It is nice to read so many caring posts lately. It is just so very sad when so many will have sad news at the same time. The pain we feel for them becomes overwhelming again. We just have to work harder to overcome that pain again.

Take care and I am glad your babies are doing better.