Rassy cat & Howard, Sick with kidney failure Options

[Bonny'sMom]

Joanne,

I'm so sorry about Howard and Mew. I missed those postings and feel so bad I didn't respond sooner. You are a great mommy and a great person and you've been through so much. You are due for some happiness. Who are the babies in the pictures. They are so cute. Take good care and know that we are here for you.

Bonny'sMom

[Bonny'sMom]

Hello Everyone,

I'm back! Sorry I have not had the time to write in a few days. Joanne, I'm so glad to here that Charlie is doing much better. My job has been super busy and when I get home I have a six year old human to feed, one four year old kitty and two new baby kitties. It's been a challenging week. I brought the newest kitty "Elizabeth" home on Monday night. It's been a challenge. I sequestered her and then started to introduce her to the others. Jessie and Maggie (new bobtail kitty) are getting along fabulously. Elizabeth is a different story.

This is my first time with three cats and I need some advice. How much time should I give Elizabeth to get along with the others? I am a bit nervous to begin with because I've never had three cats so I just want everyone to like each other.
Any tips? I do have to say that the cats are keeping me distracted so I have not cried in a couple of days. I'm hoping this weekend I can take some time and get some pictures posted.

I'm so glad to here about Charlie, he's definitely a fighter!

Bonny'sMom

[Bonny'sMom]

Hi Joanne, Sorry your computer's down. That's a bummer. I am also sorry to hear Charlie's having a difficult time. I did receive the book "Animals and the Afterlife". It has been so wonderful to read. I feel so much more reassured. Have you thought about talking to an animal communicator about Charlie. Maybe you might get some insight from him. I'm going to contact one regarding Bonny because I'm still so riddled with guilt about not being with her at the end. I need to get past that. I still can't bring myself to pick up the ashes. I know I'm going to fall apart again but I do need to pick them up.

The cats all doing well. Elizabeth is about five to six months old and we think Maggie is about a year. They are great company for each other. They chase each other up and down the stairs and they fight but it's really not serious fighting. They like to play together a lot. Jessie, my big boy, is 4 years old and he was a traumatized cat when I adopted him. He is still very shy but I think the girls are good for him. He is starting to learn how to play. Last night I was petting him and giving him lots of love and he started playing. I was so pleasantly surprised. He did grabbie's with his paws in a playful way and I even caught him playing for a minute or so with Maggie and a toy. Mealtimes are hilarious. I've got the bowls lines up. I have to feed Elizabeth first because she'll just start eating the other's food. I am definitely going through a lot more cat food and kitty litter now that I have three. But they are so much fun. I really thought last week that I had made a mistake with adopting two but I'm now so glad I did. Elizabeth is a crazy nut of a cat and has brought a lot of life to the house. Which I desperately needed. My six year old son is getting a big kick out of the kitties.

I'm still reading the book and is has been so helpful. Thank you again for all of your support and my prayers are with you and Charlie.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Bonny'sMom

[forduffy]

That's good to know. I was missing you.

[pepeinmyhrt4evr]

Hi Joanne,

I just want you to know what an inspiration you have been to me. I have not given up on my Aspen. I've been force feeding her with a syringe, like you have done. I'm afraid Aspen's battle is about over though. She's having a hard time breathing.
We had a wonderful holiday season together though as I asked everybody to pray for. I will charish that Christmas for the rest of my life.

I don't know how you have dealt with all that you have been through. I am exhausted and even failed an algebra test last week because I cant concentrate on anything other than Aspen. (I'm a middle aged student) and work full time, so I gave up sleep to spend with her. Sounds like what you're doing.

The stress is catching up with me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that...you are one amazing, caring, human being with a beautiful soul, and thank you for being here for everybody even through your hardest times.

Pepe and Aspen's dad
Adam

[goliath]

Hi Joanne......Welcome back. Though I have never spoken with you I have followed your thread since I joined this group in early January. This forum and the wonderful human beings here have touched my heart in a very special and loving way. Comfort and encouragement is what I have found here. We carry each other until we can stand again.

Take care

[Bue's Mommy]

Joanne I'm leaving a message for you in my thread.

[forduffy]

She is really beautiful. What a sweet face.

[forduffy]

Hi Joanne,
So I read that you are looking for a new baby. Any baby that you adopt is one lucky little baby because you are one of the most dedicated mommies out there. I'm with ya on the adoption vs. breeder. There are so many babies in shelters that need homes.

[forduffy]

OMG, Joanne! What a beautiful little ball of fluff. He looks too little to be away from his mother. I just want to hug and kiss him! I am moving too, hopefully, in 2 months. I live in the city now and my husband and I decided that it has been draining us lately. We found a house outside the city but there are some issues with it so we are in limbo right now. It is taking everything within me not to start getting new babies. I am trying to wait for the move-our apartment right now is so small for multiple babies and I am not sure if a move might cause them trauma-but I totally know how hard and close to impossible it is to resist! Even if you don't wait for the move, I think your new baby will be in the best hands and your older babies will help to ease him/her into the move. Take care and please keep us posted (and show us more pictures).

[goliath]

How wonderful for you to have the excitement of bringing Black Wonder home. When is he scheduled to arrive?

I hope your new addition brings you much joy and happiness JoAnn. When I visit the forum I will be sure to check on your continuing story.

Black Wonder sure is a little cutiepie.

[goliath]

Joanne..............I am sooooooooo happy that you have found Whiskers to love and cherish and make sweet memories with. He is a beautiful cat who has a found a wonderful home with someone I know will dedicate herself completely to seeing that he gets all the love, attention, and care both you and he need.

You have had more heartbreak and struggles to deal with over the last 6+ months than I can even contemplate. You have much love to give and I hope Whiskers brings you much happiness, joy, and laughter. Showing his pics sure made me smile. It's always nice to let a little sunshine into our lives and hearts.

Have fun with Whiskers in getting to know him. He really is one lucky cat!

[goliath]

The hardest thing I am really dealing with is letting go of the hate for the old monster vet. At least, we were able to extend Mew and Howards lifes a little longer.  And the best thing I did was find such a wonderful vet who supported me through so much. 

You will find by letting go of hate makes much more room for love. By forgiving, you CAN let go of the hate you feel for the vet. Perhaps your heart will sing again in the delightful love that your new kitty will bring you. Maybe there will be so much love in your heart that there will be no more room for hate. Whiskers may be just what you need to find that forgiveness and give you the freedom to love with all your heart.

The emergency vet I had to take my Goliath to the night he died missed somehing very important. When she sent me home with some antacids for Goliath and told me he would be just fine, I believed her. Here I was hugging him and kissing him and thanking God that the love of my life was safe and sound at home. Can you imagine how shocked I was when he died in my arms within 2 hours after I had just heard the vet tell me Goliath was going to be "just fine?" You can bet I was angrier than I had ever been in my life. After trying to breathe life back into Goliath's limpless little body to no avail, I wrapped him in my sweater and went right back to see that vet. I wanted to know WHY she sent him home after I had told her I knew something was terribly wrong and to help me understand. My feelings of anger and resentment festered and festered for 2 months til I realized I had to forgive her, not for her, but for me so that I could begin to heal. The freedom I found in forgiving her enabled me to become a much more loving and compassionate person than I already was. Out of a tragedy came peronal growth
for me spiritually, mentally, and physically. I had to forgive her or I knew I would never be full of anything but bitterness, anger, and resentment. Those feelings toward her that I was harboring were just keeping me from having to confront what I really was really feeling deep down inside. I was trying to cover up the pain, grief, despair, shock, disappointment. Today, I have no hate or grudges in my heart.

That "old monster vet" did serve one purpose though. Because he failed you at your time of need, you were led to a more caring vet that you were happy with in finding a way to prolong the time you had left with Mew and Howard. That truly was a blessing. As you struggle in finding a way to let go of the hate you are feeling for that vet, maybe you can start by just calling him the old vet. It may help you to let go of just a teeny tiny bit of that hate. I only know what helped me to unburden my heavy heart.

I wish you much sunshine in your heart as you struggle toward forgiving. You deserve it...............you will find yourself feeling happy, joyous and free.

[toonie]

Congratulations Joanne and many many happy moments with Mr. Whiskers.

Today, he jumped into my lap and snuggled in. I just put my arms around him and gave him a kiss.

Bet you that made your day!

I know it's been so hard for you to have been through this horror with that vet.
We rely on them, we trust them and when it seems they don't deliver, we feel so cheated. In your case, it may have been a question of incompetence AND lack of heart on the vet's part and that must seem totally unforgivable to you. But as Goliath has so well said, we can not carry grudges forever, they just weigh too heavy on the rest of our spirit and stop it from soaring free. But what you feel is very normal, in grief we often interchange anger with guilt, some of us feel mostly guilty and others feel mostly angry but both emotions will ruin you so beware and try to 'shelve' them.
I can not see how you could ever have felt guilty Joanne. But your anger is so normal, so typical when one has harmed the ones we love most. Sometimes when I can't get over a grudge I make a deal with myself that though I can't totally forgive I can agree with myself that the grudge has become very tired and it's time to let it go, just for that reason if nothing better can move me. Our vets make mistakes, like we all do.
In a way, when you think that compared to our own practionners their job is a lot harder because they can not talk with the animal to know what they are feeling. This involves a lot of guess work and they most likely start off with the same 'first of all, do no harm' approach that we do. I know of a lot of mistakes that my vets did. I know of a lot of mistakes that I did too. I also know that I have 'caught' mistakes
before they happened with my own doctor who wasn't 'connecting certain dots'.
That's life, but as well, moments like the quote above, they're the kiss to blow away all the negative feelings, take it and make it yours to have and to give. I am really happy for you Positive waves for you and all of yours.

[goliath]

With your tender love and care you give to ALL your kittieloves how can it not bring him out of his shell? You have endured much worse in your fights trying to save your other sick kitties. Miracles do happen when love and devotion is in our hearts. I am an optimist to a fault Joann and know you will give all you have in you to make this work. It is time for a little sunshine in your life.

[goliath]

Hi Joann.

Glad to hear that more is calm, both in the weather as well as Whisker's adjustment into his new home with you. Sounds like you are too.

When sudden changes are thrown at animals, as well as ourselves, reactions are many. I know if somebody came to my house and took me away to a strange place suddenly, I just might be a little shocked and horrified about it myself.(although there have been times when I was sure the men in the white coats would show up any minute and lock me up forever.....LOL)

When Goliath died, Gidget walked around here aimlessley. She too had been thrown into a new environment that she didn't understand in not seeing Goliath here. She looked everywhere for him under furniture, closets, rooms and even the cealing. When doors were shut she came and got me to open them so she could look in there herself for him. Watching her do that tugged on my heart unmercifully. Many times during the day she would make her search again. She even started peeing in the house, which she had not done before and began to develop a nervous twitch. I had to be patient with her by showing her my love and understanding. Today Gidget has changed. She no longer twitches and she doesn't make her rounds in the house looking for Goliath..............While she has gotten better about the pee pee thing, we are both working on that.

That's great that Whiskers comes out from under the bed. Little by little he will make subtle changes for the better too. As you said, at least no cat fights ensued. Given time and patience there is no doubt in my mind that all of you will settle in very comfortably together.

When you spoke of the owls I was reminded that I too will have to be very careful with a new puppy. There are owls here who haven't caused any problems, but this year we seem to have a surplus of hawks. We also have a den of foxes on the vacant lot right nextdoor to our home. Since baby chihuahuas weigh less than a pound at 8 weeks of age they would be seen as prey for these animals. We only built our home 4 1/2 years ago here on the lake where many varities of animal come to visit. So, we have never had the experience of having one so small in this home.

Moose and Mario will help Whiskers continue to come out of shell. If you pursue your passion, that which you truly love, everything will fall into place.

[goliath]

Hi JoAnn and Judy...............I had to pop in and say I too would like to see more pics of Rassy as well as the other kittyloves. There is something about looking at pics that brings so much comfort to my heart. For me, I think it's a way of healing and moving on. Thinking of Goliath brings me so many smiles. When we have their love and it is bound with ours, 2 hearts together=1 big heart. We are so blessed to know such love in our lives and that it continues to teach us just how important all our loves and relationships are.

HUGS to both of you.
Beth

[goliath]

There are times when I go to bed at night, that I will take one of my late cats pictures and hold it in my hands and just stare. This might sound nuts, but, I find myself talking to them. Sometimes, my eyes just fill up with tears only because I miss them so. The hardest thing is getting use to them not being there in the physical form. what I would give just to hold one of them....

Doesn't sound nuts to me JoAnn. I miss Goliath more than my words can even express. There are things I do too that may sound a little crazy to some, but not to me. Anything I can do that is conducive to healing and acceptance just makes a better and healthier me.

You can hold Rassy and Howard everywhere you go. They are part of you inside and out. I hold my Goliath each and everyday in my actions as well as my words. He is the music in me and I can sing and sing all day long knowing he is with me. His heart and my heart became one big heart long ago. As I keep loving and passing all the love that is inside me, my heart grows.

I too am approaching 6 months since the angels came and returned Goliath to Heaven. There is no doubt in my mind that one day we will see each other again, where we can laugh and play and cuddle for the rest of eternity. Until that day comes, I am going to love with ALL I have had and what is yet to be given.

By the way, soon I will be sharing a new puppylove that has come into our home. His name is Browser and he is truly a gift from God. I'm pretty sure Goliath had his paw in God's hand when they selected this little love for us.

Though I have endured many hardships during my lifetime, my blessings are far more.

Love with all you have today for there may not be another tomorrow.

[rena]

**Joanne (jackjackbojack is a new member here. Two of her precious furkids (Rassy cat & Howard ) are very ill with kidney failure. With Joanne's permission, I'll do my best to get her posts together (along with their replies), so that she can have her own thread. **

*****************************************

My two babies are dying of Kidney failure. There is just so little time left. My Rassy cat is 18.5 years old. My Howard is 16. I have been through this once before with my kittywillow. People here are so compassionate and kind. I can't stand it when people say to me its just a cat. Its not. These are my babies. I know how much joy those special little ones bring into our lives.

We enclosed our patios and made them into cat rooms. (We have one upstairs and one downstairs. We refer to our cats as the ups and downs. My up cats will soon cross over the Rainbow. All I will have are some pictures and lots of wonderful memories.

I don't want them to suffer. Rassy cat is still holding on. I know he doesn't want to leave me. Howard still has some time left before the curtain falls. I told Rassy Cat whenever he feels its time, to just let go. I would much prefer to see him die peacefully in his sleep rather than having to put either down. Howard is so attached to Ras, and sick that we might put him down just so he doesn't have to suffer the heartbreak of loosing his best friend esp in his condition.

I just continue to check on my babies. Rassy cat sleeps so soundly. I just keep checking to see if he will wake up. I try not to cry in front of him. He knows how much I adore him. And the last thing I would ever want to do is keep him alive if he is in pain.

Today, I told him, whenever you are ready to let go, its ok. Always know, I love you as much as life itself.

[rena]

My cat Sherry died of kidney failure 4 weeks ago and I know how difficult it is to watch your cat fading before your very eyes. I'm glad that they are being treated for their kidney problems but as you are well aware it is a terminal condition. It's very hard to let go even when they are very ill because we love them so much. In my case her condition was undiagnosed and as a result I watched her dying in agony with convulsions. I know you don't want your cat to suffer and perhaps after discussing the situation with your vet you will know whether it is time to say goodbye. Perhaps coming to a decision about it will give you and her precious final hours together when you can be with her a lot and show her how much you do love her and don't want her to suffer needlessly if the situation has bad prognosis. Lots of hugs because either way it is very diffuclt to lose someone that has loved us so unconditionally as our pets love us.

Rena