Let Me Tell You Duke's Story, The pain of bad breeding Options

[Shimmer]

Let me tell you Duke's story...because it needs to be told.

The "beginning" of Duke's story would start with the loss of my Sheltie, Princess, on November 1, 2002. Princess was an amazing dog who lived a fairly long life of 14 years. In her last year, she was in pretty rough shape. She had arthritis and a torn ligament in her leg but she was on pain medication and she still smiled sometimes . We knew that the time would soon come when her quality of life would deteriorate to the point that euthanasia would be the right thing to do. That "choice" was taken out of our hands when her spleen ruptured. We had her put to sleep so that she would not suffer but she would not have survived the night regardless.

Although I had known that her "time" was coming for a while, I was unprepared for the depth of the grief that it caused me. I was lost without her. I decided that I would get another dog, not to replace Princess but to help fill the void that was left in my life. I went to the SPCA determined to adopt. The applications scared me though. I was young and living at home, and my parents weren't yet convinced that getting a new dog was a good idea. We rented our place and the yard was not fenced, and my income was low. Basically, I didn't think I had a chance at being approved as an adoptive mother. I decided to look at other options.

In my grief, I gave up my vow to never buy a dog from a pet store (because of the questionable breeding ethics associated with them) the minute I saw Duke. He was the last of his litter, a tiny Pekingese-cross. I fell instantly in love with his little squashed face. I asked to see him and did a temperment test to check for signs of aggression or excessive submissiveness. (I had been doing my research). He responded well although a little shyly. My parents reluctantly agreed to let me buy him, and he became my baby.

He cowered in the corner when I brought him home and then proceeded to run frantically from one side of the house to the other. Eventually, however, he calmed down a bit. He was a little nippy from the first but I passed that off as puppy behaviour, nothing a little socialization and training couldn't take care of. A few days later, I had to admit that it was more than nipping though...He bit. Grooming was a nightmare. He tried (fairly successfully) to remove as much skin as possible from my hands when I brushed him. He snarled and growled and squirmed through the whole necessary grooming procedure no matter how gentle I was. He also bit me whenever I put his leash on him or touched his collar. I immediately called the vet and enrolled him in puppy socialization classes.

I started classes with him the next week. He stayed in the corner most of the time at class, terrified of the other dogs. He learned his basic commands, and we spent one-on-one time with the trainer to help curb his aggressive behaviour during grooming. I did the things she recommended to help train him to submit to grooming. The only thing that worked was spraying him in the face with water from a spray bottle. I hated doing this but since it was for his own good, I forced myself to. He reluctantly submitted...

Classes ended and I continued his training at home. He still growled at me during grooming but stopped whenever he saw the spray bottle. At four months, it was time for a toenail clipping. I put him on a chair and carefully began cutting his nails. He was fine until he heard the sound of the first clip, then he freaked out. I calmed him down and prepared to clip the next nail. He lunged at me and grabbed me by the lip. His canine teeth made a straight cut about a centimetre long almost completely through the area just below the pink of my lip. We locked him in his kennel and I went to the hospital emergency room. The doctor gave me a tentanus shot and assured me that it wouldn't scar badly. I was lucky.

The next day, I enrolled Duke in an obedience class near my house. I left after one class, however, because the trainer used choke collars as her main training method. I called Duke's former trainer and she recommended that he go through puppy socialization again because she didn't think he was ready to move on to the next level. I agreed. At class, he made some progress. He still avoided most of the dogs but would approach some of the smaller ones carefully. He was determined to show dominance over one of the smaller male dogs by humping him whenever possible.

At home, he was doing much better although he still bit sometimes. Grooming still had to be done very carefully as did putting his collar or leash on. I got him neutered at the recommended six months. His recovery was filled with bites. He was in pain and you couldn't get near him. He chewed at his stitches and his incision got infected. The vet gave me ointment to apply and an Elizabethan collar to prevent him from getting at his cut. He bit me every time I put on or took off the collar and fought whenever I applied the ointment. He finally healed and that ordeal was over with.

Over time, I learned what would make Duke bite and exercised careful control over those situations. I continued working with him and researched training methods and Dominance Aggression which is what the vet and trainer called his behaviour. I managed his behaviour and although I still got bitten occasionally, Duke and I were doing well.

I have to say, at this point, that I never held Duke's biting against him. It wasn't his fault. It was in his breeding. He wasn't bred responsibly and that caused problems in his brain. It's sounds strange to say this about a dog but Duke was mentally ill. He had a good heart but a bad brain. I loved him unconditionally (I still do). He was my baby and my best friend.

As time passed, I thought Duke and I were going to make it through this disease. When he hit social maturity (around two years), however, he took a turn for the worse. His aggression was back with a vengence. His biting became less predictable. He guarded objects and food. He sometimes bit simply because he didn't want to be petted. He'd show his teeth before you could even get near him and would sometimes even rush across the room to lunge at family members. He started biting people other than me. (It was pretty much only me before because I was the only one who brushed him, etc.). Occasionally, he'd bite people simply because they moved.

I, of course, made a vet appointment to talk about his aggression. The vet basically told me that he was "hard-wired" that way and that although there were things I could try that might help lower his aggression, his problem could never be fully solved. He said that eventually, if people's safety couldn't be ensured, euthanasia might be the only real option. I went home feeling defeated and angry. I contacted dog behaviourists and trainers and sought their opinions. I called other vets. I even asked if it was possible to get his teeth removed. (That's not an option for healthy teeth by the way). The general opinion was bleak.

I wanted to try everything though so I explored the options. I would do everything I could unless it involved hurting Duke. I asked the vet about medication and he said that it rarely helps but we could try. We started Duke on anti-depressants. At first, I thought they were helping but after the side effects wore off, his aggression continued to escalate. I bought books, borrowed books, read everything I could find on Dominance Aggression. I couldn't carry out a lot of the training recommendations because they required a muzzle. Since Duke is a flat-faced dog who won't let you put anything near his face, a muzzle wasn't an option. He had no snout to put it on.

Duke bit me almost daily while I tried in vain to help him. He bit my mother, my father, and my sister. He even bit the mother of the child my mom babysits. Eventually, he started going after the young children who came to my house. That's when it really hit me. I couldn't keep other people safe around my dog. He wasn't getting better, he was getting worse.

Last week, I made the heart-breaking decision to get Duke put to sleep. It was a long time coming but that didn't make it any easier. I cried and fought with myself all week. I cursed life for its unfairness. I went through a lot of what-if's. I wanted to call and cancel the appointment but I knew that I couldn't. It was the responsible thing to do. It was the right decision, it was the only decision. Still, I hated it.

Yesterday, I went through with that decision. It was the hardest thing I've ever done and hopefully the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. The vet supported my decision and praised me for trying so hard to help Duke. He called Dominance Aggression "a terrible disease", and that's exactly what it is.

I take solace in the fact that Duke went well. The vet gave him a sedative so that he was basically asleep when the injection was administered. He went painlessly, he went peacefully.

I love my dog. I miss him so much. Words can't properly express the grief I feel right now. I feel guilty, I feel angry, but most of all, I hurt. It feels like someone ripped my heart out.

It was hard for me to write this. I'm not sure if anyone will read it especially since it's so long. I needed to tell it though. I must admit that I'm afraid that people will judge me or think that I'm a bad owner. There is a certain stereotype against people who get their animals put to sleep because of behavioural problems. Please believe me when I tell you that I gave everything I could to help Duke. I didn't want to get him put to sleep. I didn't do it for convenience. I'm hurting so bad right now. I love Duke and I always will. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. He was my life.

In Honor of Duke (September 16, 2002 - June 1, 2005)
I'll love you forever

[Chloe Love]

I just read your entire story, and I just want you to know, that although the stereotypes you are talking about might apply to some people, they definitely don't apply to you. You have tried to help Duke have a good life although he was hurting you constantly, and hurting others too. He could have ripped your lip apart, that's what happened to my mother's friend when she was young. You did not treat him badly, that's not why he was agressive, like you said, it was a desease. It really sounds like Duke was becoming very dangerous, and he probably at some point down the road could have killed a small child. He wouldn't have wanted to do that, and you prevented that from happening. The fact that you tried for as long as you did despite all the bites shows that you were concerned more with his happiness than your own safety. And that shows a great deal of love, and I am sure through his desease he still knew that you loved him. If you had a desease that made you hurt those you loved, I am sure you would have wanted to end your life, to stop hurting everyone that is so dear to you. I am sure Duke didn't want to be hurting anyone, and I think that he woud have wanted to stop it too. You gave all the love you had to Duke, and you stopped him from hurting those that loved him, those that he loved. There is nothing to blame your self for. If there were any other options I am sure you would have done other things. You've done everything you could. So don't torture your self, because no matter how much we love specific people and other creatures, it is our ultimate responsibility to ensure safety of those we love, as well as everyone else in this world. If there was a person that was mentally ill and going around and stabbing people, he would be put into a mental institution, and not have a normal life. The only alternative to going to sleep for Duke was confinement for the rest of his life, and that would not have been a happy life for him. I will give my prayer that he is in a more peaceful place now.

[kiarasmom]

First off, let me start by telling you how sorry I am that you are going through this. Any time we lose a beloved pet, it tears your heart out and turns your world upside down. When the owner had to make that decision personally, it seems to be so much worse. As for the problems with your little dog and the solutions you tried, I don't think anyone here would say you didn't try explore all the options before coming to your painful decision. The one thing I've learned from the wonderful people here is that they try very hard not to judge, but to show caring and concern. I pray you will find that compassion now.

It also seems like you've learned a valuable lesson about the "untold cost" of buying animals from pet stores that may have come from unstable cir%%stances. It's a hard lesson to learn, but it sounds like you were very young when you got your baby and you did love him immensely. That may be the biggest lesson to take away from this experience. The fact that you have the courage to tell it, despite the criticism you could face, tells me you truly want to warn others about those same dangers. I applaud you for that.

There are SOME dogs that, because of their background and heredity, are just not safe. The real problem would be if you knew the animal was dangerous (as so many people today seem to do) and still continued to ignore the risks to yourself and others. That, in my opinion, would be the hallmark of an irresponsible owner. Yet, you took him to classes (twice), consulted vets and trainers and tried everything you knew to do to curb his biting. You don't have anything to feel guilty about there. You wanted the best for your dog - and you tried to give it. Making the decision you did must surely have broken your heart. Please know that my heart goes out to you and I'll be sending you prayers for compassion and support.

[beastie]

Shimmer- you are so brave.

Duke couldn't have chosen a better mother when he first saw you at the pet store

You came to realise he had a handicap, and instead of giving up, you chose to help and support him. I know that some people might have given up on him, but you didn't.

I think Duke knows how hard and tirelessly you fought for him, and he loves you all the more for it.

[bluest1]

They say that you can tell the size of a persons heart, by the way they treat animals. You my friend, have a very huge heart.

Kerry

[Shimmer]

I can't even begin to describe how much your support means to me. I need it so badly right now. I miss Duke so much. My mind is playing tricks on me. Duke's passing is foremost on my mind but yet I still keep "seeing" him everywhere I look. I see something out of the corner of my eye and turn thinking it's him. The house feels so empty.

Just when I think I have my emotions under control, something brings back a memory and the tears start flowing again. Every time I go into the washroom, I cry because Duke used to follow me in. He followed me everywhere.

I haven't been able to sleep much. I keep wishing he was on my feet snoring away or under the covers with me curled up by my chest or in the crook of my legs. I used to lay beside him when I couldn't sleep and breathe his scent in deeply. I found it comforting. I lay in my bed this morning for a while holding his favourite stuffed toy to my face and breathing in the smell of it.

I hold all of you in my heart and hope that you are healing. Thank you for being here for me. I hope I can do the same for you.

*hugs*,
Tracy

[jenn]

Shimmer,
I greatly admire your bravery. I had to put my beloved dog to sleep on monday.. he was sick and suffering.... the pain is unbearable.. and I cannot even begin to imagine the pain when the dog isn't sick, just unable to cohabitate with humans and animals. As hard as it was, I believe you made the right decision. Consider what it would have been like had Duke been able to continue on, had he severly injured a child or worse, killed a child! You tried everything possible to teach him how to act, he just wasn't able to learn. He was sick.. and now he's not... Now he is happy, and calm... You will see him again.
I know what you mean about seeing him everywhere... yesterday I thought an old suitcase was my Freeway.. I sat beside it and the tears flooded... I constantly think I hear him too.. it's so hard... I am going to look into adopting another pet on the weekend... it's too quiet... and Freeway would be happy knowing that there is another furry friend here to help me thru my grief. While nothing can ever take his place I know another pet will keep me busy... I, too, sleep with Freeway's favorite toy.. .all his other ones are packed away until I decide what to do with them. But his favorite stays with me. I will treasure the stuffed $2 dog with the broken squeaker (which he broke by chewing on it too hard) as much as he did.
Never doubt that you made the right decision... as the sorrow fades a bit you'll know you did... Duke is in a better place, happy and free... his illness no longer affects him.

[Kim R.]

I am so deeply sorry that you had to endure such a tragic life with your baby. I'm sure he had alot more life and love with you than if he would have been in someone elses care! Not many people would tolerate such aggresive behavior, so I applaud you for recognizing it as an illness and doing you best to correct it, unfortunately, sometimes even our best just isn't enough to fix our babies.
This is a subject I am overly-passionate about so I warn you, I feel a heartfelt ramble coming on.
This is such a heartbreaking story, and unfortunately, one that is much too common. Pet stores are such a nightmare! My very first real job was in a pet store..it didn't last long! I was appaled at the way the owner would just scan the newspaper for puppies and then bring them to the store and resale them at twice the price! If only the buyers knew that they could have gotten the same exact dog for half the price if they would have looked in the same paper! The killer was when he would get mix-breed puppies, sometimes for free, and sell them at outrageous prices! It was all about the instant love aspect that he just lived for. Much like you, people would fall in love with these puppies, then paid whatever they were priced at, because at that point they had to have them. It is just terrible. When I quit there, I went to work at another pet store we had in town at the time and quickly realized this was a common practice among all pet stores. I was done in the pet store industry!(Breeders beware...this happens alot, and these people were really good at posing as potential great forever homes for these puppies. You really never know what type of home those puppies are going to despite how loving the people may seem at the time!!) I wish there were more strict laws on breeding in general. I say this at the risk of offending some people, so I appologize ahead of time if that is the case, but if people were more careful about the quality of dog they bred, alot of us would have been spared the pain we had to go through due to problems that are hereditary..skin problems, thyroid, heart problems, hip problems, TEMPERMENT, etc. are just some examples. For some reason people think that if they have a pure-bred dog that has papers, they should breed it! It drives me nuts when there are so many out there that need homes! My vet actually voiced his level of shock that I was having my other dog, my Great Dane "Zada" spayed! My animals are strictly for loving, so I always have them spayed or neutered to prolong their lifespan(Yes, it prolongs their life by reducing hormone levels that cause cancers, removing the risk of pyometras, etc.). He didn't want me to have her spayed because she was of good breeding quality and he said the world was confused when there are people out there breeding mixed breed dogs, yet dogs like my Zada were being spayed! (I had always wanted a Great Dane, so my parents researched extensively to find a very reputable breeder to get one from when they knew my Sasha's time was getting close. They thought it may help in the transition. My Dane has a complete written guarantee against all genetic defects and is hip, elbow, heart, eye, and thyroid certified. I wish all dogs had to have such screening before being bred.) I was flattered by this, but at the same time, disgusted that he wouldn't be thrilled about me wanting to do the best thing for her health. Bloodlines mean nothing to me,( so please know I'm not trying to brag or anything, I'm just using my experience to prove a point),which is why my parents knew I would never have spent that much of my own money on a dog. They just wanted me to have my dane, but have as healthy of one as I could have. (she came from http://shadycreekdanes.net/ ..Thank you Jackie for being what all breeders SHOULD be!)
Thank you for letting me get that off my chest. I feel so strongly about it and just felt like this was the perfect opportunity to air it.
Duke is now in a place where his mind is clear. He couldn't have been happy always living so unsure of everything and always feeling like he must defend himself from everything..poor baby. You did the kindest thing for him by letting him go where there is no fear, pain, or anger, and he is happy now. This is the biggest sacrifice we can make of ourselves to show our undying love for our babies. I'm wishing you peace at this time.
Your "overly-passionate" friend in grief,
Kim

[beth4275]

Shimmer,

First, I am so deeply sorry that you had to go through this. How heart wrenching it must have been. I admire you for doing the best thing for Duke and for the people around you. My heart goes out to you ...

Many hugs,
Beth

[Caroline]

Shimmer, what a truly heart breaking story. You honored Duke's spirit by writing about your journey with him though. I have never heard of such dedication, and you must never ask yourself, "What if I just..." You did all you could, and then some. I agree that Duke was mentally ill in a way. He simply was not able to stop what he was doing.
I watched a special on HBO about a dog shelter in upstate New York. A family reluctantly gave their shelter a little ##er spaniel who kept biting all of the family members. He simply could not stop the behaviors. This shelter was wonderful and run by an amazing woman, but it became obvious that the little ##er was a threat and could never live peacefully with humans, no matter how great the family. In the end, the shelter owner took him to be euthanised (she bought him chicken nuggets at McDonalds before the procedure). It was so heartbreaking and sad. I cried as I watched it, but it had to be done. Just know that Duke is in peace now...no more reason to bite. No more fear, no more anger...just peace. He would want you to be at peace too....

Thinking of you, Caroline

[Shimmer]

Thank you all so much for replying and helping me through this heartbreaking time. I can't believe how much this forum has helped me. I'm so glad that I found it. Although I wish that none of us had to go through this pain, I'm glad that we can help each other through mutual understanding.

Kim, thank you for being "overly-passionate" about the subject of breeding. If more people knew about the risks of irresponsible breeding, fewer of us would have to deal with the painful consequences. I'm a huge believer in spaying and neutering, regardless of a dog's pedigree, unless a dog is to be bred by an educated, responsible breeder.

I hope that others may learn from my mistake through this post. Through education, maybe we can save people's hearts and dogs' lives.

Tracy