A Sad Day For Me, Death of my pet Options

[Rico's Mom]

Hello All,

I just discovered this site tonight....not being able to sleep due to the fact that my furbaby passed on early this morning and i have been crying my eyes out for the past few hours over the loss of my dear cat Rico. I have been reading your touching posts and realizing that i am not alone in my sadness. I have experienced this before about 20 years ago when i lost my cat of 2 years suddenly. I remember the pain and sadness i felt and swore i would never get as attached to a pet again. But... how do you not get attached to a dear pet of 17 years?

He was up in age and showing it so i knew it would not be long before i had to face the fact that he would not be here any longer. We moved to a new house in Jan. which was rough on him after having "run of the hill" at our former house for almost 17 years. I had to keep close eye on him when letting him out in our new neighborhood. He got lost once for a day and was found and then last week he was gone for 2 days when my daughter posted signs in the neighborhood and a nice person saw him while walking her dog and returned him to us. He had tangled with something and had some wounds....but it had happened before and always got over it. He developed an abscess this time....took him to vet...was considering putting him down as he really was not doing well......but the kids were out of town and i couldn't do it without them knowing. The vet seemed to think the antiboitics would be a good choice so i opted for that. Stayed up late with him last night feeding him water with a dropper as he was dehydrated and putting hot compresses on his leg. He seemed to have a little trouble breathing and i figured that was not good. Finally around 1 AM i put him to rest but when i got up early he was gone.

I am feeling quilty that i did not stay up with him and hold him in his last hours. God only knows how much comfort he had given me over the years and i feel like i let him down. I pulled my self together this morning for the sake of my kids and went to work too but when i got home and he wasn't there to greet me i lost it and have been crying ever since. I need to be strong for my girls yet i feel like i need to grieve the loss of Rico. How do i do this? Will i ever overcome my quilty feeling of not staying with him and holding him in his last hours?

So terribly sad.....Cheryl

[Ann H]

Hi Cheryl, You are not alone with your broken heart and we all know how you feel. It takes a long time to begin to feel like life can be worth the living again. I am sorry for the loss of your precious Rico.

I too fell asleep sometime in the night and I felt guilty too because I knew Snookie's time was short. We are only human and sometimes our bodies are just to tired and when we are going through stress it makes us more tired. I did get up before my little Snookie died but I felt guilty that I could not stay awake. I know that they forgive us because all the knew how to do was love.

I too felt the need to be strong but discovered that in doing so things started building up, making it much worse in the long run. Let those tears flow and it will start the healing in your heart. Come and talk often.
Ann

[Dawn]

Hello...
I read your posting and feel your pain. Dont feel guilty, you did not know what would happen. 17 years is an amazing life time for a baby. You must have done a wonderful job for all those years. Find comfort in the fact that he went peacefully and did not suffer. I know we all wish we could be there at the end, but sometimes it isnt possible and that is not your fault. I am sorry for your loss. Each day will make it better. I have found great support here. Post often and let us all help in your time of grief.
Dawn

[Norah'sMom]

Dear Cheryl,

I am so very sorry you lost little Rico. Please do not feel guilty about not being with him through the night...it was just his time to go. Every living creature has a time to be born and a time to die, and God is with them in both times, and everywhere in between. When my Grandpa died, my aunt -who was his caregiver -felt terribly guilty that she was not with him at his time of death. But Grandpa was an incredibly unselfish and giving person, and we all felt that in that situation, it was just as he wanted it to be. He did not want us to see him go, and was much more peaceful when he was alone. If your Rico had needed you at that moment, he would have held on until the morning -I truly believe this.

Rico loves you so much and he is forever grateful for the wonderful 17 yrs. he spent with you. Please come here and tell us about your Rico as often as you would like. I know this site helped me in my darkest moments when I lost my Allie. May God bless you in your time of need, and bless dear Rico, a special and very loved kitty.

With love,
Jenny

[DJ - Edgar, Jess...]

Along with expressing my shared grief on your loss I wanted to give you some advice. NEVER hide your grief from your children. Grief is not something that you should be ashamed of, or hide in a closet somewhere.

Grief should be shared - and thus lessened. It would be a bonding and strengthening experience for your children to share a cry with Mom. Showing that it's okay to grieve would be a blessing to your children - and a wonderful way to share memories of your fuzzy friend.

[encouragingangel]

dearest cheryl,
i'm sending love and healing energy to you after the death of your beloved rico. i know how attached we become, because my 16 year old cat died 2 months ago.
as others have said, he was not alone when he died, and if you had been meant to be there, you would have. rico was on his own journey, and as painful as it is, we cannot take it with them. please consider letting your guilt go, you did nothing wrong.
you loved him completely, all of his life.

[Rico's Mom]

I want to thank you all for your kind words , thoughts and prayers. I am having a very difficult time emotionally. I read your responses to my post and was so happy to get them but could not respond... all i could do was cry. Last night i read some new posts with tears in my eyes and wanted so bad to respond but physically i was drained from the past few days of trying to deal with my Rico being gone from me forever. Everything seems like a blurr and so unreal right now. I am not sure how i make it through the day actually. Thanks again and i will try to write more when i can.

Cheryl

[cosby]

Hi Cheryl,

I feel your pain. I'm so sorry to hear about Rico. I have a sick little boy at home right now. My 16 year old cat Cosby was diagnosed with cancer last week. You are lucky that Rico passed on his own in his sleep. Cosby is getting so weak, I am going to have to help him get to heaven. Just know that there are others out there who know how you feel and we are here to support each other. I pray you will have peace in your heart.

Nicole

[luv_my_catz]

Dear Cheryl,

You poor dear ~ My heart goes out to you tonight ~ I too lost my tabby girl Amber ~ a friend and spiritual companion for nearly 20 years ~ on March 28 ~ For me, the love is what blesses us and keeps us all the days of our lives and forever after that ~ yet this grief is so deep and for me washes over me in unpredictable waves ~ please know you are not alone ~ I am so sorry for your loss ~ I wish you comfort in the days ahead ~ I have a candle that is lit each evening to remember and honor my Ambie and also those brave and courageous and loving pets we all have lost ~ I thank God we have had a chance to know them and learn from them ~ Sincere Condolences, Kathryn

[Kathleen032]

Dear Cheryl,

I'm so sorry about your loss of Rico.

I think most of us deal with some form of guilt over our furbabies' passing. Whether it's about not getting them to the vet soon enough, putting them to sleep, or not being there when they crossed over to the rainbow bridge. I think the guilt is one of the stages of grief. From what I've read about you and Rico, it sounds like you gave Rico 17 wonderful years and he gave you 17 wonderful years. For as many times as he was there for you, I'm sure Rico would agree that you were there for him an equal number of times. And, even though you weren't there when he passed, I'm sure he never once doubted your love for him.

You're in my thoughts.
Kathleen

[kimberlyheide]

Hi Cheryl,

I am sorry for your loss of your special Rico. He lived a very long life with you with many years of love. I know that our time with them is never long enough, and the grieving is sometimes unbearable. Your Rico knew how much you loved him, sometimes they choose to be alone when they pass. You did not let him down in anyway. Rico is not hurting anymore, and is free from the body that was failing him. He is with you in spirit now.

My thoughts are with you,

Kim