Well Meaning People, Abby's Passing Options

[Abby's Mommy]

I do not wish to share this post.

[Rusty's Mom]

Hello Abby's Mom,

I'm sorry you had a hard day today. I guess you have to think that your friend felt she was helping you by suggesting you get another dog and that she didn't mean to upset you. She has no way of knowing how much Abby meant to you. Hopefully she won't mention it again. If she does, I'd ask her if she would suggest the same thing if you lost a child.

Yes - what a nice husband to have spoken words of reassurance to Abby during the storm.

Thinking of you.

Take care,

Love,

Lynn

[SJ J & S]

Sometimes our friends just want to help, take that pain right out or eyes and see us smile again.

Tell her your thankfull for her love and support but all you need right now is time and lots of it and about a million hugs and a trillion kisses a warehouse full of tissues.

If you cant tell her then print this off and send it to her.

Love Sue

[LS Support]

i am surprised people on another pet-loss board would say you need another dog so soon. one day you may
find room in your heart for another pet, but as i always say it is up to the individual to decide!

When my husband went to the barn to feed the cats (we have a feral colony of spade and neutered cats that live in our barn, 5 now down from 17, 3 years ago) he stopped by her grave and said, "Abby girl it's going to storm but don't be afraid because Daddy and Mommy are watching over you." I thought that was so sweet. Bless his heart, he misses her so much too.

that is so cool, you've got a good hubby

[Ann H]

I am so sorry your friend tried to get you to take another baby when you are hurting so much. You may never be ready for another one. I do want to tell you something that happened to me. This is a long story but I wanted you to here it all.

Halfway through Snookies illness my sister said I should get another dog before Snookie died because the love of another would help me through Snookie's death. That broke my heart and I felt so angry with her she knew how much Snookie meant to me. Getting another one in my mind would mean I was being disloyal to my little girl. I almost hated my sister.

I told her I would never get another dog as long as I lived. I did not want any more pain like this ever again and to even think of another one would be just to painful. I told her my furbabies I keep most of the time would be enough.

She kept badgering me as to what kind I would want if I did get another one. Finally to get her off my back I told her it would either be a toy poodle or another miniature schnauzer, most likely a schnauzer but that would never happen.

Months later on Nov. 9 she came to my house with a miniature schnauzer with her. The pup was ragged looking her little eyes were downcast and she looked so pitiful. My sister said she bought her for me and she had been abused and needed someone to love her. The people had kept her in a cage and called her names. That puppy looked up at me and I knew I could not throw that little dog away like the other owners did. She was a rag but with a bath and a haircut I could see she would be a doll.

I named her Schnitzel Ann before I knew what was happening and she followed me from room to room. She did not want to be alone and would curl up in my lap. I thought I could always give her away if things did not work out. My Snookie would not look at me for a few days, that hurt me to my soul.

But Snookie did get used to her and they often laid in bed together. Snookie has only been gone a week today and although Schnitzel will never be Snookie, she has brought me much comfort and I do love that little puppy so much even though I thought I never could.

I am not saying you should ever get another baby if that is whats best for you but sometimes peoples hearts hurt so much at first but later on are able to love again. But you must stand your ground and do what is best for you.
Love, Ann

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[Margie]

Abby's Mommy, I understand your grief...and your frustration with your well-meaning friends. It's almost as though people are unable to differentiate bewtween the pain of missing your pet and missing having a pet. Of all people, one would think that people posting on another pet loss support board would understand that. [/rant]

Anyhow, please don't feel like you're lacking noblity for not wanting another dog right now. Five weeks isn't very long -- I still miss Fluffy (Butch's sister) 4 years later (though not in the burst-into-tears-at-a-moment's-notice-way, like I feel about Butchie right now). Someday you may be ready to welcome another furbaby into your life. Or you may not. But either way, that decision has to happen on your timetable and no one else's.

[AnnieIOS]

I don't think you're lacking in nobility at all. It's impossible to make someone feel all better by giving them another dog. They're individual beings with their own personalities and that's why we love them so much and grieve for them so much when they're gone. My 2 remaining dogs are a comfort but they're not Muddy and I can't even think about getting another dog. It's a personal issue and it's a shame that others can't respect your wishes. Thinking of you...Annie