Said Goodbye To Our Sweet Reggie Today Options

[moon_beam]

Hi, Aaron, the stress of grief will affect all aspects of your physical health, including your sleep patterns. This grief journey is both physical and emotional, Aaron. So, if the OTC's are helping you, that's good. If you continue to have difficulties - - like months down the road, you may want to have a chat with your doctor because the stress of the grief can change the chemical balance in your brain, which controls your sleep patterns.

I'm glad you, Kristy, and Kylah are "hanging in there," and that you and your wife can smile through the tears at your memories of your precious Reggie. Aaron, whenever you and Kristy and Kylah are ready to embrace another precious companion you will know it, and there will be no doubt in your hearts. For your precious Reggie will lead another beloved companion to you, and he will be smiling on his mom and dad and sister - - and new family member. You won't ever have to be "worried" about another precious companion "replacing" your precious Reggie - - that will never happen, I promise you - - you won't even feel it in your heart. For now, just take things one day at a time, Aaron - - enjoy the present of every moment of every day with your wife and Kylah, and take this time to heal from the grief of losing your Reggie's precious physical presence with you. The rest will come in time, Aaron.

Thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your family are doing, Aaron. Each day brings its own agenda it seems with this grief journey. Please know you, your wife, and Kylah are in my thoughts and prayers, Aaron, and will look forward to knowing how each of you are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Aaron]

Thank you again moon beam. Last night was the first night that I have had a "normal" night's rest, albeit with the help of an OTC sleep aid. I only woke up once. I think another part of that was the fact that I cried again last night after coming home, which is a double edged sword. It means I am still hurting but it helps with the stress.

I had an afternoon work appt near the vet hospital that we took Reggie to. I drove home the same way we drove home after all those visits with Reggie at the hospital. It's funny how that happened, as traffic on the freeways was so bad that I had to take that path home. Oh how I miss those visits, even though he was in the hospital. I'd see him in the morning and then my wife would meet me in the late afternoon. We did that every day he was there except for Saturday and Sunday. The last 6-7 days he was in such good spirits and that is how I choose to remember him. But there is still such a large amount of pain associated with those memories. I can remember how my wife was upset those first few days (as was I) and esp the Thursday after he had a feeding tube placed since he was still groggy from anesthesia. My wife hated seeing him that way but I kept telling her it was part of the path he had to take to get well. The next day he was doing so much better and when we saw him together that night, his eyes were bright and wide as they always were. He actually purred when we visited him after the feeding tube was place (which was rare for him when he was at the vet) and even laid in my wife's lap.

I can remember him being on the floor and walking around on Saturday Oct 23 and we were sitting on the floor with him. Boy how he hated the little "sock" he had to wear to keep his feeding tube secure, but he managed like a trooper. He walked over to my wife and crawled up on her lap like he always did when she was on the couch. Seeing that brought tears to my eyes....tears of happiness, not just for me or Reggie but to see him bring my wife happiness and to see them together again like they always were. I leaned over and kissed her, not knowing that would be one of the last times we got to spend with Reggie like that. As you said, humans don't have the most accurate foresight, but all we were thinking while he was in the hospital was how he was going to get better and how we would do whatever it took to bring him back to health. Never for a second did we think he would not make it, which made his passing that much more difficult. But that was the only thing we could possibly think. It pains me to recall those memories but also brings a smile to my face as we got to spend a little more time with him before he passed, time with him when he was the happy, loving Reggie we knew and will always remember. Man, he was such an incredible friend and I wouldn't trade this incredible pain for all the time we got to share with him.

I attached a picture of the moment I described above just so I could share some more memories with you all. It's a bitter sweet picture (much more sweet than bitter). It was difficult for me to scroll back through my pictures on my phone, as I had to pass up the video I took of him one morning. I still have not looked at that video again, but I will someday. It's the only video memory I have of him, sadly, besides all the "videos" in my mind.

Rest well Reggie, for you are healthy and happy where you are. Your mommy, daddy and sister miss you more than anything, but we are also glad you are not in pain anymore. We know your life was cut short, but we will see you again someday and can't wait for that reunion.

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[Cheryl83]

Oh Aaron, my eyes filled with tears looking at that picture. So beautiful, yet as you say, bitter sweet. But isn't it wonderful that Reggie and your wife got to share a moment like that again before he passed? If a picture paints a thousand words, then that one paints a million. Talking of which, when looking at that picture, a song came into my head. "If" by Bread:-

--
If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show the you I've come to know.
If a face could launch a thousand ships,
Then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you,
You're all that's left me too.
And when my love for life is running dry,
You come and pour yourself on me.

If a man could be two places at one time,
I'd be with you.
Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.
If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,
I'd spend the end with you.
And when the world was through,
Then one by one the stars would all go out,
Then you and I would simply fly away
--

Quite fitting, huh? Peace to you, Cheryl xx

[moon_beam]

Hi, Aaron, thank you so much for sharing with us this wonderful memory of your precious Reggie. Thank you for sharing with us this picture of Reggie and his mom. You and Kristy had hope in your heart that your precious Reggie would be healed, or at least stabilized and be able to enjoy a good quality of life sharing it with you. It's very painful when this hope is not fulfilled the way we expect it to be, want it to be, pray with all our hearts to be. It's all a part of living in this physical world. It's tremendously difficult shifting our understanding that our hope was fulfilled - - but in order for it to be fulfilled means not having our beloved companion's physical presence with us. It's a very painful adjustment to make - - both physically and emotionally - - and cannot be made overnight, or in a few days or weeks - - or in a set pre-determined amount of time.

The memories you and your wife have of your precious Reggie are to be cherished - - always and forever - - as each of you are able to remember them, share them. And thank you so much, Aaron, for honoring us to share them with us here.

Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, and will look forward to knowing how you, Kristy, and Kylah are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Aaron]

Cheryl, thank you for the kind words and for sharing those song lyrics. I am very familiar with that song - it is a beautiful song and is quite fitting. It will hold more meaning for me anytime I hear it.

moon beam, thank you again. You took the words out of my mouth. These memories will always be special to us and will always bring us joy, which is how Reggie would have wanted it.

One thing I did not mention was that we are both openly talking about the general idea of adopting again, if anything to see what it even feels like to talk about the idea. We both agree then if and when we open our hearts and home to another pet, it would be because we want Kylah to have a friend and because we know there are furballs out there who need loving homes. We would never try to replace Reggie, mainly because that is impossible to do. We have a lot of love to give still and I am sure someday we will welcome another friend into our home. I am sure Reggie would approve. As you said before, we will know when that time arrives. Until then, we will continue to heal from this loss and be there for Kylah and one another, as well as others here who need support.

[Walk Alone]

Hi, Aaron.

I just read through everything everyone has posted. What a great friend Reggie was! Did he ever strike the jackpot when he chose you and your wife to live with. He knew wha he was doing - cats are smart, even as little kittens! They have a very strategic plan. I don't doubt that for a minute.

The story about the toilet tissue made me laugh. No matter how I roll or position mine, there is toilet tissue in the living room every day. I guess one never knows when they may need a square or two.

I am so glad that you posted such thorough stories and details. It really helps in understanding just how you and your wife felt.

I'm going to keep this page bookmarked and re-read it all when I have a moment. It is both happy and sad at the same time. Quite a love story.

[Aaron]

Thanks for the kind words Walk (wish I knew your name). I am sure I have repeated myself a number of times, but it helps to get the words out. I like to think that it not only helps me but helps others who are suffering through the same loss as us. We sometimes think that we are alone and nobody understand the pain, but that's not true at all. Your post helps me know that I (and others here) am at least helping others heal. The stories and the pictures, while at times difficult to tell and look at, really helps reinforce why we welcome these animals into our homes. It's about the "net gain" both us and our pets receive from the time we share with one another. I told my wife that when you welcome pets into your life, it's an "all or nothing" arrangement. You either love them and spoil them with all you have or you just don't do it, or at least that is our attitude. That makes losses like this more difficult to bear because we are their care givers for their entire lives, but we wouldn't ever trade it for what we get out of those relationships. I still miss Reggie dearly and always will, but sharing with others has helped me realize that we were very fortunate to have him in our lives.

Take care until later.

[Aaron]

Kristy had a tough morning today. She was taking the sheets off the bed for laundry (she took today off) and started crying. Just one of the many triggers that reminds us of him. As small as it sounds, taking off and especially putting on the sheets brings back memories of Reggie. He loved hiding under the sheets when we put them back on. Even when we were taking them off, he would jump up there thinking it was "sheet time".

My wife said what I have been thinking every day...she said how the house seems so empty without him there, which it does. We have our sweet Kylah, but she is not as social as Reggie in the fact that she hangs our a lot in our bedroom. It's her "safety zone" - she's just a naturally "high strung" cat. We aren't trying to change Kylah nor do we want to, but it's still hard being without Reggie since he completed our home in ways that Kylah cannot (as she completes our home in ways he did not). He was ALWAYS wherever you were. He'd wake up from his naps to come see you. He'd hear me pull up in the driveway and would be at the front door waiting for me. He'd wait for you outside the bathroom. He'd jump up on you if you sat on the couch, the love seat or in "his" chair in the office. He'd be there at night on the bed when we went to sleep. He was our shadow and was such a constant in our lives. He was a constant joy, a constant lover and a constant friend. He was our baby and to have him taken from us has been so hard.

I know you all know the feeling, I don't have to describe it to you. It just helps to get it out. This holiday season will be difficult without him.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Aaron, I am so sorry Kristy has had a difficult day, which makes it a difficult day for you, too. Reggie's "sheet" play reminds me so much of my Eli, and now my Noah likes to play the "sheet" game, too. Sometimes I just have to leave the sheets alone and go back to making up the bed because Noah simply will not let me get the blankets on without scruffing them up. I'm laughing as I'm writing this, and wouldn't have it any other way.

I also know what you mean about the holidays being a challenge. I do hope and pray that you, Kristy, and Kylah will have a peaceful evening tonight, and as the Thanksgiving holiday approaches, that you will find peace and comfort in your hearts.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Aaron]

Thank you moon beam. My wife's sister works for the school district, so she is off all week and is there to hang out with my wife. We live next door to her sister and her husband, so they are nearby. I am not sure what Kristy would do without her sister. They know the feeling of losing a pet suddenly to illness, so they can also empathize. I can remember the night that their Kahlua passed away and how it was so hard not being able to help them take away their pain. We went with them to the vet clinic to bring Kahlua back home and we went home to love on Reggie and Kylah. Man, I can remember that night with such clarity. Now the roles have been reversed.

One thing that pains Kristy, which is completely unintentional and unavoidable, is that her sister and husband have two cats and a dog (one cat is an outside cat) and the indoor pets are always out and about like Reggie was with us. She loves their pets (well, not the cat as much, he is kind of mean, LOL), but it's always hard to see others' pets, even your sister's who is your best friend. I'd rather Kristy be around their pets than not though. I love being around my parents' two cats, especially their crazy cat Malcolm. He has enough personality for two cats. It's funny - Malcolm is very social and their other cat Mandy is more "guarded", similar to Reggie and Kylah. I attached a picture of Malcolm (black kitty) and Mandy just to share some visuals with everyone.

It's just that roller coaster ride you talk about. One day you are up and the next you might be down. But you just have to stay on and hang on tight.

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[Cheryl83]

Hi Aaron,

I too am sorry to hear about yours and your wife's bad day. They can hit you out of nowhere. I can emphasise with your "sheet story" -- it seems that it's missing the "simple" things that hurt the most. I hope today is a better day for you.

Thank you for sharing those pictures. I love looking at any pictures of animals, so it always makes me smile. Mandy doesn't look too pleased about having her photograph taken!

Take care,
Cheryl x

[Aaron]

Thanks Cheryl, you are totally right. The smallest things can trigger an "event" and all you can do is roll with it and try to heal from it. That's why it's hard to let your guard down because you know at any time you could experience a memory trigger like "sheet time".

Mandy is a special cat, no doubt. My parents are funny about the names they pick for their pets. Mandy's name is derived from "manic depressive", which sounds bad. But she isn't depressed at all, just a "moody" kitty. Funny story about how we adopted her. Back in 1998 or so, we had some neighbors two houses down from us with two big dogs (I still lived at home at the time). The dogs broker through THEIR fence, went trough our neighbor's yard and then broke through OUR fence chasing Mandy (at the time she was just a kitten) and my dad went out their to stop the attack. So we kept her for awhile but my dad didn't seem too interested in having a 2nd cat. She was very skittish, as expected after what she went through. I can remember going out in the garage and just talking to her as she was hiding and she eventually began meowing back. One day she got out and just took off. 1-2 days later she was at the back door meowing and I went into the office and told my mom that someone was here to see her. And the rest is history.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Aaron, thank you so much for sharing the wonderful pictures of Malcolm and Mandy. (When Oslo and I adopted one another, I gave him the middle name of Malcolm in honor of his former career as a Special Needs Guide Dog). I am so glad you're close to family members who do understand what you're going through. It is hard to be around other's beloved companions when your heart is aching for the one(s) you have lost, but - - it's also good therapy. It sort of helps to form a "bridge" with the healing process.

Aaron, I hope the upcoming Thanksgiving weekend will be a healthy and peaceful one for you, Kristy, Kylah, and all of your family. Amid all the "busyness" try to find some private time just for you and Kristy to rest. This isn't being selfish - - it's extremely important for your physical and emotional health, particularly with the added stress of grieving.

Please know you, Kristy, and Kylah are in my thoughts and prayers, Aaron, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[Aaron]

thanks moon beam, that is sound advice. I can go ahead and predict that Thursday might have a few bumps since we are going to spend Thanksgiving at my wife's parents home and that is where we laid Reggie to rest. We have not been back there since Oct 29 and I know if I am thinking it, then Kristy will be thinking it. But we can't avoid her parents' home forever.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Aaron, Kristy, and Kylah, just want you to know I am thinking of you today and hoping that your visit with family will be one of peace, comfort, and joy.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[JanEeee]

It's the day after Thanksgiving and I just finished reading several posts. Holiday time is so stressful after experiencing the loss of a family member. I decided not to join friends this year but just to be on my own at home with my two kitty buddies, Zouzou and Tedly. It was the right decision, my emotions have been up and down lately and I know this is due to Chan's exit from my life. I had thought that since she was so young that she would be with me for many many years to come. Such a precious little love she was, perching on my shoulder, nestling up under my chin with a roaring purrrr, bursting with love and contentment.

My two boys are more retiring and reserved than Chan, not as affectionate or participatory in my daily routine. I can understand that Reggie's active presence was one of the qualities that made him so very dear to you. Chan was like that. She embraced life to the fullest and didn't want to be left out of anything going on around her.

I so very much miss that sweet little cat.

Jan

[Aaron]

Hi, Aaron, Kristy, and Kylah, just want you to know I am thinking of you today and hoping that your visit with family will be one of peace, comfort, and joy.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon beam, that was very kind of you. Yesterday morning was particularly difficult for both of us since yesterday was the first time that we had returned to my wife's parents' home since we laid Reggie to rest. Kristy at first was unsure she'd be able to make it, but I told her that we needed to remember that we had many blessings to be thankful for, including our family, Kylah and friends, including everyone here. I was in a fairly "flat" mood yesterday when at my in-laws' home and thought about going out to see Reggie, but didn't do it. Just wasn't ready. There will be more days like that one, some of which I can predict with fairly good accuracy. It's almost like a self-fulfilling prophesy, but I assure you we don't wish to be sad like we were yesterday morning. They are just things that are part of the healing process that we have to live through.

It's the day after Thanksgiving and I just finished reading several posts. Holiday time is so stressful after experiencing the loss of a family member. I decided not to join friends this year but just to be on my own at home with my two kitty buddies, Zouzou and Tedly. It was the right decision, my emotions have been up and down lately and I know this is due to Chan's exit from my life. I had thought that since she was so young that she would be with me for many many years to come. Such a precious little love she was, perching on my shoulder, nestling up under my chin with a roaring purrrr, bursting with love and contentment.

My two boys are more retiring and reserved than Chan, not as affectionate or participatory in my daily routine. I can understand that Reggie's active presence was one of the qualities that made him so very dear to you. Chan was like that. She embraced life to the fullest and didn't want to be left out of anything going on around her.

I so very much miss that sweet little cat.

Jan

I 100% understand how you feel Jan. We weren't sure we wanted to do anything for Thanksgiving, but went ahead and went to her parents. I am sure your two buddies were glad you were there. We also know how you feel about Chan's life being cut too short. We felt like Reggie was taken from us far too soon, although he was older than Chan. If wee didn't love our friends so much, then we wouldn't miss them so much and feel such pain from their loss. It's never easy to say goodbye, no matter what the circumstances. But it's harder when their lives are cut short.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Aaron, sometimes we just have to be thankful for "getting through" another day when our hearts are just not in the activities. You are absolutely right in that the numbness, sadness, we feel through this grief journey is a part of the healing process. It is a "protective shield" that our minds put around us so that we are not overwhelmed by the many emotions we feel.

Aaron, although this Thanksgiving is the "first" one without the physical presence of your sweet Reggie, he is always with you in your hearts and memories - - I promise you.

Aaron, thank you so much for sharing with us how your Thanksgiving with Kristy's parents went. Please know you, Kristy, and Kylah are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[coonmam]

Moon Beam must be a true angel on earth for all her kind words to those in pain----
Ok Aaron you might want to make sure you are sitting down for this reply. After Sam's passing I talked with a dear friend who is also an animal communicator--she told me Sam was surrounded by other raccoons (probably the 6 that have passed before Sam) and.................Sam was with a white cat! I told her I have never had a white cat and could not figure out the connection until I saw a picture of your Reggie.....your white cat is with our black raccoon!!!!!!

[Cheryl83]

Awww. A lot of people on here do believe that our animals are connected to each other - as WE are all connected to each other on here. Isn't that a nice thought

Cheryl x