I Feel So Lost And Empty, I miss my soulmate Options

[Brutus]

Let me start by saying, this is not like me to post my feelings on the web, but I know you will all understand what I am going through.

My name is Sonya and I was Brutus' Mom. Brutus passed last Monday by euthanasia, he would of being 13 yesterday. Brutus was a beautiful, huge (hence his name) black lab we've had since he was 3 months old. I've had just about any and every type of animal possible and I of course, loved them all...but Brutus was special in my heart. Brutus was what I hear alot refer to as your 'heart' dog...to me he was that and so much more, he was my 'soul' dog.

We had been through so much together..illnesses, sadness, troubled times and of course, tons of wonderful fun times. I knew this was coming, he was just so tired, and I thought I was prepared, but are you really ever prepared to lose a part of yourself? That's just what he was...a part of me...I feel empty, missing, and lost.

My husband had a very rough first couple days too, but he is improving...I however, feel like I'm getting worse. I know it's only been a week and time heels, but I miss him so much it is literally hard to breathe. I can't sleep, I barely eat, and I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life.

I hope in the next few days, I can tell you more about Brutus and all our times together, but I just can't right now. I did however write a poem...my first poem ever since probably grade school...it is on the memorial/tribute section if you would like to read it...I really poured my heart into it and it felt good to write it..and it feels good to share it.

I know you all know how I'm feeling or you wouldn't be here. Please forgive me if I don't post on anyone's topics right now, I just can't bear to. Hugs to all who are hurting.

I feel so lonely with out my Brutus, gosh I miss him so much. I don't know if I want to move forward or reverse time...all I know is I want my soulmate back.