Eloo Passed Today, 1/22/2009 Options

[EloosParents]

My buddy boo Eloo has gone...

We had an appointment to see the vet today to reevaluate Eloo's eye (see post Welch Household Tragedy). There was a different vet that saw him than the last two times he was in. At first they drew blood (had to do this through his jugular vein for some reason, so it was awful and both of us cried) and when the doctor came in she immediately found a tumor and remarked its size since she had seen him last (she was in the room and saw him just briefly and no one could see this before, but she also did not examine him like she did today). Never did we think we would be coming home with an empty cage today. We thought it was to run blood tests to see if an infection was causing the eye problem since they could not find anything before.

Rather than dig his eye out, put him through pure hell and make him suffer, we sat alone in the room with him for awhile trying to figure out what we were going to do and decided it was best to have him put down. We cuddled him and loved him and he was purring so it was very hard to say goodbye. The vet gave him some meds beforehand so that he was relaxed. He was not anxious and was laying letting us rub his belly (and cry all over him purring). When she gave him the meds, he was totally relaxed and we had time to spend with him and talk to him. Both of us bawling our eyes out, but trying to keep cool at the same time so he was cool too. When the doc came back in, we held our breath and to be honest, it happened so fast I did not believe her when she checked his heart and said Eloo had gone to heaven.

Both of us are sick to our stomachs with grief. We know we did the right thing, but that does not make it any easier saying goodbye to our buddy. Everyone has special bonds with their animals and we all know about the special things that they do that make them who they are. I am going to try to post a memorial in that section when I feel up to it. I will try to attach a pic for now of my baby boy.



Tonight, it is kleenex and memories...

Missing you Eloo Buddy!

Ang & Marvin Welch

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[Jon730]

I'm so sorry it had to end that way.
I am ashamed to admit that after being there once to say goodbye I simply could never do it again.
It is a shame because I owe my friends that last minute. I am glad you were able to.

[Flossie's Mom]

I am so sorry about the loss of your handsome boy Eloo.

He looks so much like my cat Baby that I lost to cancer when she was 13. She had the softest hair and was found in our back yard after we found 3 dead kitties when we came home one night. Her Mom, a Calico, came in the house fairly easily but she was evidently traumatized by whatever had attacked the Mom & her family. She never was a social cat but was one of the prettiest cats I ever had. I grieved over her for a long, long time as I had promised to not let her suffer but waited too long and she died in my arms 1 block from the vet.

I know it is difficult to make that final decision for them but given my choice I find it weighs a bit easier on my heart and mind to see them go peacefully and be able to hold them, comfort them & tell them you love them than to see them suffer & struggle at the end.

You rescued him and did many things lots of people would not have done for him. He knows how much you loved him and still do. Yes, you did do the right thing and absolutely that does not make it any easier.............. Hardest thing I think I've ever had to do in my life was to put my Flossie to sleep.

May your memories of Eloo bring you comfort in the coming days.

Ginger

[sissycat]

What a handsome fellow.

I am so very sorry you had to make this decision. Know you made it in his best interest.

We are here to help you get through.

Hugs to you and your new Angel Eloo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bobbi]

Bless your hearts, both of you, and Eloo, who is with God now. You did the right thing, and Eloo will always love you; it never goes away, the love. The grief however takes as long as it takes, so let yourselves grieve. It has been 5 months since I lost my 18 year old Mimi, and once a week, I still sob - I just miss her so much.

We are so blessed to have these beautiful creatures in our lives, and I believe they chose us, to love and love us unconditionally. But don't let anyone minimize your grief; IT IS REAL; and we need to mourn our beloved animals. That's why I joined this site, you can't talk to non-pet people about your feelings. Believe me, I know what a HUGE loss you are experiencing, and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Bobbi
Mimi's mom

[LoveThem]

I am so very sorry Eloo is gone. You did all you could for him and he knew it.

All I can offer is a shoulder and a cyberhug!

Judy

[ann]

I hadn't been on for a few days, just checking back, I'm sorry you had to say goodbye to Eloo.. I know all to well about the guilt you are feeling. But just remember back when you found him. You gave him a wonderful loving life and could never feel guilty about that. Also you gave him a very peacefull passing, for that I am happy for you and Eloo. You took it slow and did all the right things. Eloo has some wonderful company now...Many hugs..Ann

[EloosParents]

Wow, to say this has been a rough week is definitely an understatement.

We both got through the first day but it was not easy. Both of us felt ill with grief (Marv literally got sick he was so upset). He has never had to do anything like this before with an animal, but I have had two beloved pets that I have had to have put down (under much more traumatic experiences) so this was hard and brought up thoughts of those pets as well, but it was much worse for him. Then he had to work the day after, bright and early the next morning, so I woke up early to be with him because I did not want him to be awake by himself so early (why is early morning so much harder?) thinking of Eloo. Once he left, it was so hard to be here by myself and thinking of all of this stuff about Eloo. I have been trying to keep busy and since we have other animals, this is not hard, and it does seem to help some with the pain.

However, we received a card in the mail yesterday… it was from the vet, who wanted to write and let us know that she had tested the cells in Eloo’s eye and found them to be cancerous. Her note was sympathetic and made me feel somewhat better knowing that he is not in pain anymore. He probably was having headaches and other pain, so even though I cry for what he must have felt, I know he is better now and not in any pain.

The night before last I could not sleep. I did not want to lie awake thinking of Eloo and crying, so I got up and did a bunch of tax paperwork and nonsense stuff. Since I did not sleep well at all that night, yesterday evening was the WORST for emotion and pain. I was so upset about Eloo and not realizing that my lack of sleep had made things ten times worse. It was hard enough not to cry about him with each thought, but lack of sleep exacerbated things for sure.

We still have not done anything with his chair, or his food and water bowls. I just cant yet. I feel like crap and do not want to do anything really, but know that I have to just because the world keeps spinning whether I want it to or not.

I do want to make note of something for others who may be about to experience euthanasia. In all honesty, if I had a choice I would go to the vet to her put ME down if I am ever super ill because it was so fast and there was definitely no suffering. I WATCHED my grandmother pass when they took her off the life support (she did not want to be on it in the first place, but EMT resuscitated her anyway so we were left with this choice) and she “lingered” for what seemed to be hours struggling for life. It was painful and traumatic to watch. So when Eloo passed quickly and I could not believe how fast it really was, I had to take note of the difference between the two and note that at least the animals do not suffer for hours struggling to survive.

It is painful for me to be on here and see Eloo’s picture so I am going to go ahead and hop off for now. Thank you for all the hugs and support. I am so sorry for everyone’s losses, this is so hard…

Angelique and Marv

[LoveThem]

Thank you so much for the update. I am glad to hear the vet contacted you with what was found.

We don't know why our babies have to get these diseases but all we can do is the best we can with the knowledge we know at the time and hope it helps. And giving them peace when there is no alternative is something we always hope we will be able to do. We never want them to suffer.
We don't want to lose them but we don't want them to be in pain that we can't stop.

It is very soon and it is a time of overwhelming pain and grief. Take it one day at a time and remember the many good days Eloo had with you....that is a gift we cherish..and the memory that helps us heal over time.

As far as the personal items, I just put them away because to me it is a reminder. Then when I did go out and adopt a rescue cat, he is using the same dishes, which are little heartbreaking reminders of who used them before but he looks so much little the one I lost, I sometimes can see him at a dish or lying by a window and smile at how much he looks like my Little Guy. I know he has his own personality but I had to get one who looked similar to what I had. I have always over the years kept all my babies stuff, whether it is dog dishes or cat dishes, leashes and collars, toys. I keep it all. And pictures....after some time I can look at them and smile.

It is not easy. I know what you mean about it being your husband's first loss but you had others before. The same with me. That's why my husband really didn't want me to get another cause he didn't want to go through it again. But I was so miserable he said okay. We know there is a future sad time but hopefully, we have many days and years before we face it again.
And we know these babies are worth having despite future sadness. We would not trade having them in our lives to avoid the grief in the future when it is their time to go.

I wish you peace and healing. Remember it takes time. But come here anytime. You are never alone here as we all know your pain. We all share the same pain and have felt the different intensities of it.

Hugs,
Judy

[Mistletoe]

I am so sorry about Eloo--it is never easy---I know well what you went thru---
One of our kitties looks very much like him---
Hopefully--the time will come when the pain will not be as intense---