I Collapsed During Euthanasia Options

[kodiak'smom]

Kodiak had to be put to sleep today - her other leg started knuckling. 3 weeks ago she was fine and now she is gone.

My 19 yr old son was with her during the "return home". She fought until the end - which makes me sicker, she tried to fight the anesthesia overdose...she was such a fighter, a strong girl, so loving.

I couldn't watch - but I had the most weird experience happen. I swear I could feel the first injection (I wasn't watching) and my heart began palpitating, a few seconds later I just knew it was over. We were outside the vets office - she was on the grassy lawn - and I had this desire to run, run as far as I could. I started walkinging then running toward the entrance to the vet hospital and collapsed on the asphalt and heard someone scream - I didn't realize the scream came from me.

I know the vet or techs have never seen any reaction from a human like this - I warned them ahead of time I didn't know if I would react or be peaceful...the vet said most are peaceful, I wasn't and they probably think I am crazy to love an "animal" so much, that I could have such a reaction.

I sit here now in shock - my son is stunned, my husband is "playing" normal and trying to stay busy, but I know my husband will be hit hard soon as our darling girl followed him everywhere and he loved her so much.

What now? I have 2 more aged dogs - how can I ever do this again? I mean I collapsed.

Has anyone heard of anyone collapsing?

With sadness and sorrow -
Dana
Kodiak' Mom