Rassy cat & Howard, Sick with kidney failure Options

[toonie]

Dear Joanne, my heart goes out to you you have done so much for your cats, you love them so well and I am so sorry that you have lost your beautiful Rassy Cat. Eighteen years, how I envy your talents to have been able to keep your cats for so long. Last year on Oct. 12 I lost Felix to heart failure, Yukon already had diabetes but I didn't know it at the time. Yukon took Felix's death really hard, became really sick and I, who had kept Felix for a little while too long (he was relieved to realize we were going to put him to sleep!) decided to prevent any further suffering for Yukon, he was so devastated with grief for his brother, I thought he didn't want to live any more or/and that he had a huge undiagnosed pain inside, I put him to sleep too soon, when I did we later realized he didn't really want to go, he would have wanted someone like you who held on to hope even when he himself had none left, but I wasn't up to par, I really admire that you were for Rassy. You are just beautiful, know that Rassy is now pain free and that he is only an instant away from you in eternity. What you are going through as well as what you are going through right now for Mew is extremely difficult, I don't have words of advice or anything about that, all I can say is you are a wonderful person, try to hang in there, and know that you are the best.

So, for me, I lost a child tonight

I know that you did, they are our children, we love them just as much.

[iggiecat]

I don't think I can express myself as well as those above me did, but I am feeling your pain, and you did the best you possibly could. I'll be thinking about you, and sending positive thoughts your way for Mew & Howard.

[Muffins]

Dear (((((((Joanne)))))))

Early in the morning I spent an hour posting a PM to you, and more often than not if it's a long one, I tell myself to "make a copy & paste it", so that if something should happen to my computer, I will have it. Well, I didn't copy/paste, and the whole thing was lost. For another 1/2 hour I tried to get into LS, but for some reason, I wasn't able to.

Last night you helped your precious boy, Rassy Cat leave his painful & ailing body. You gave him the most loving gift -- the gift of peace. Sometimes we can pray & pray and hope that our beloved babies go in their sleep, but.....when that doesn't happen and we see our kids suffering beyond belief, it then becomes our "job" to help them. I know that your sweet & loving Rassy Cat thanks you & loves you so very, very much for helping him.
Please remember that he will always be with you, he will live on in your heart.

When I came here 3 & 3/4 years ago, after having helped my sweet girl Ernestine go from this life to the next, a wonderful member here at LS said to me, "Denise, you took on her pain so that she could finally be without pain". It finally made all the sense in the world to me.
Which one of us here wouldn't take on the pain of our precious kids, so that they could be without pain? I know that we all would. And, you did that for your boy Rassy Cat .

Cry all you want, please -- the tears that are flowing are "healing tears", and they will help you. I'm sure that your sweet girl Mew and all of your other furcats are grieving, each in their own way.

I said a prayer to my precious girl Ernie-Bird that she meet up with Rassy Cat at Rainbow's Bridge to greet him & show him the ropes up there. I know that he will have his Angel Wings before long...

Sending you comfort & many hugs,

Denise

[forduffy]

Joanne,
My heart goes out to you. I just found your post yesterday during my lunch break at work and I read about the heart breaking ordeal that you have been enduring. When I logged on this morning, I was so sad to hear about Rassy Cat. I usually can not express myself as well as some of the other people here but I want you to know that by taking on the pain of grief and giving Rassy peace, you are such a brave and loving mommy and he is now at peace at the Bridge. I'm so sorry to hear about the struggle that has been going on with that horrible kidney failure for your kitties. Please know that I am here, thinking about you, and wishing you peace at such a tough time.

Stephanie

[Furkidlets' Mom]

I'm so very sorry, Joanne, for you, your Rassy Cat, Mew and all your other furbabies. Please accept my deepest condolences as well as hopes for Mew's health to stabilize. Flower essences would be of some help with everyone's grief and stress.

[Furkidlets' Mom]

Do a search on the LS forums. I've posted many things about flower essences here. I'd also suggest you ask your vet about fatty liver disease, because THAT might be the problem, more than kidney disease, if Mew isn't eating at ALL. All it takes is about 3 days of no food to start this problem in cats. I have to wonder why so many of your cats seem to have kidney problems, and also what your vet is doing if you weren't told about fatty liver disease. I'd get a homeopathic or holistic vet pronto.

[Furkidlets' Mom]

Oh, Joanne..... The more you tell us, the more I see how, pardon my French, but stupid this vet was with Rassy's treatment. I know I'd been questioning right away why he wasn't just given an enema, especially after so much time of not eating. Nissa had one once, after a few days of no stool (but her usual pattern was only every 2 days, not daily) and that was with having CRF. It took about 5 mins. to work and that was that. And no, an enema shouldn't kill a cat, even if it's not that pleasant for them. The toxins that build up in the body from not pooping are a much higher concern, especially for someone with CRF who isn't eliminating toxins from their body well to begin with. If they'd been concerned about causing more dehydration because of giving an enema, sub-cu. trtmnt. would have taken care of that anyway. Plus, usually with CRF cats, blood work is done at least once a year, often more. (we got lucky with only having to do more than once/year, once, but that's because with Nissa's high level of care, she remained so stable, kidney-wise, for so long)

So yes, I'd have to agree that your vet was an idiot, and I can understand why you feel guilty now for having trusted him. I would, too, I'm quite sure. However, you didn't know what you didn't know AT THE TIME, and I'm so proud of you for not wasting one more minute and changing vets before any more damage is done. You've already learned from this mistake (and we all make mistakes) and that's what's really important. You are doing a better thing NOW and that's one of the biggest keys to relieving yourself of this guilt. Just keep doing that, and to staying vigilant, even with this new vet, and this will help you reconcile yourself to what happened to dear Rassy Cat.

If it helps, I also heard of another woman recently whose beloved dog was misdiagnosed and she trusted her vet, too, which ended up causing her dog's death. A specialist caught the mistake, but it was already too late. She's complained to her EX-vet, too, and what's even worse is that she never even got a response to her concerns.....while the specialist sent her flowers and a card. So, many docs just SUCK and others are better. Some folks have also filed formal complaints with the governing authorities for vets in their neck of the woods....although usually, no remedial action is taken against the vet (they protect their own), but if it makes someone feel better for having done so, it's still worth taking such action.

It's also true, though, that given what happened and the state Rassy was in at the end, releasing him was most likely the kindest thing you could have done. No, he didn't have any real quality of life left, by the sounds of it, so there was little else that could have been done, regardless.

I also know how it is when a vet gets busier and trades off good care and time spent with patients (and clients) for money. It's not pretty and of course the patients and their people suffer for it. That happened to me, too, to some degree with our local vet. Anger towards them is justified, even though it does nothing to change the past. Using that anger to bring forth your concerns and especially to 'voting with your dollar' are two of the best ways to channel it afterwards.

Dr. Pitcairn's book is a good one, as is Anitra Frazier's ("The New Natural Cat") as well as quite a few others (including Dr. Hamilton's - "Small Doses for Small Animals; Homeopathic Care for Cats and Dogs"). The more you learn, the more empowered you'll feel/be for any problems that may come up in future.

Knowing what you know today may indeed complicate your feelings during grief, but the more you do the things that speak to being committed to learning and doing better for your remaining babies, the more you will help yourself through that. (you might also wish to get a good book on the grieving process and educate yourself about that, too, at some point) And you have to keep reminding yourself, like an old record, that you only knew what you knew then, so can't be faulted for not knowing more than you knew (rather impossible anyway, don't you think?).....and now you'll keep learning/knowing more, in Rassy Cat's honour and memory, and for the benefit of the rest of your furkids. At some point, you'll probably have to stop beating yourself up for what you didn't know, and if there's any residual guilt left for other reasons, you have to decide whether it's truly appropriate guilt or not. If you see it as truly valid, atoning for it in some way is what needs to be done. If it truly isn't valid, then you must force yourself to throw it away. I know I'd also posted something somewhere here that included an article (secondly to the main topic) on "forgiving" (oneself, as well as others), but I'd said it was about "guilt", which it also was. (probably in the Resources section, and I think it was "pinned" at the top)...okay, I came back to add this link cuz I can't find this article, myself!
Can You Afford Not To Forgive?


This is all part of the 'what-ifs' and 'if-onlys' that so many of us go through. Hang in there and just keep doing the better things you're doing now. It'll be tough, but you'll get through it. And for this, too, you have my utmost sympathy.

[nickels]

Dearest Joanne,

I check in several times a day to be updated on what's going on with your babies. I'm soooooooo sorry about sweet Rassy. I just don't understand what's going on anymore in the "Professional" world. It used to be that vets would explain in length procedures and options knowing that sometimes we didn't know what to ask. It's called covering the bases. I find in todays society if you DON'T know what to ask all you receive is a hefty bill and "Oh well". I am so angry !! Nobody helped me with my precious Nickels. Never even gave me an option for his remains. No sympathy card, no follow up phone call. But the yearly vacination card was sure sent this past spring. I wish that every business transaction in this country would have a feedback system like ebay. That would trim the jerks right out of business. You can talk to them till your blue in the face but the only thing that they will EVER understand is a big fat hit in the wallet!

Everything is about the $. Too much is not enough. My friend across the street took his kitty to one vet here in town. They took the kitty into the back room and said someone would be out soon to talk to him. About half an hour later a box was put on the receptionist desk. He didn't think anything about it but was informed it was his kitty in the box, or should I say his remains. The vet then walked out the back door, jumped in his shiny sports car and drove off without even talking to my friend. They never even told him euthanasia was a possibility.

I am so very devasted about what has happened to you. You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday and I check back often for updates. I just had to email you. You are not alone and one fine day we will all finally meet with our babies and rejoice. Bless you and all your family.

In Christian Love,
Michelle

[Ken Albin]

I have been following your story. It is so difficult to watch our older cats decline and not be able to do very much about it that will help in the long run. I have lost several cats during the past few years and have battled vets over their treatment at times. It is a long, frustrating and agonizing time and I feel for you. The most important thing is to keep up your own strength so you can tend to the furkids. Don't let yourself get run down from the stress. Vibes for you all there.

Ken Albin

[nickels]

Dearest Joanne,

Bless your heart for adopting all of these kitties that were dumped, abused, and unloved. There is so much cruelty in the world on every level and it all has one common thread -- $$$$!! My Husband say's money gets in his way of being able to create. We're artists and if we could just be left in peace with our animals and artwork we could operate on scraps and create beautiful things.

I'm was raised Catholic and have a very vivid imagination. I picture Hell as having many many subdivisions where souls try and screw each other for eternity but get nowhere. The pain they inflict on people and animals on earth is multiplied an infinite amount forever. Each subdivision has different stories and I would love to see it made into a movie. For instance, my 88 year old Mother finally got to the point where she couldn't walk and is developing alzheimers. I moved in and took 24\7 care of her over the summer but she finally admitted she needed to go to a nursing home. After 2+ months, last week she had to be admitted to the hospital with sores on her feet that are so bad they are talking about amputating her leg below the knee. She goes in for a surgery in the morning to try a procedure before they HAVE to amputate as a last course. I could have taken better care of her than that! I have the money to start paying for her monthly costs and they have not asked for one check yet but they are literally yelling at me saying I stole $1500.00. The cost of closing her house up and moving her things. Her room smells so bad you can't go in it and her clothes and personal items keep disappearing. I'm telling you this because this is a new subdivision I have discovered that I'm sure will be in Hell.

Poor baby Howard. I think it's harder to watch your animals grieve than it is to go through this yourself. What you must be going through!! I lost about 20 lbs. after the vet killed Nickels. The guilt and grief was unbearable as you well know. The only relief I found, and it was minimal, were hot showers. I took several each day. I was pruned most of the first week. I finally went to the doctor. Please Joanne, don't jepordize your health. Your wonderful Husband needs you as well as your babies. One thing that I used to do when I lived way out in the middle of nowhere was go outside and scream when things were unbearable. I don't know if it helped the grief any but it sure tired me out enough to get a little sleep. I just wish I had an answer to give you a break. You sound like you need it badly.

After 7 years in Tulsa, and 2 bad vets, my friend mentioned in passing that his kitty vet was in his 70's. I asked him immediately for his number and am finally blessed with someone who does business the old fashioned way. No fancy office and plenty of time for each patient with a gentle and caring manner and decades of experience. The receptionist told us he will always take payments if the bill is inconvenient or too high. Finally!!

If your original vet had a brain, he would see that Mew is grieving in addition to her kidney problems. Should send him a copy of "Where the Red Fern Grows". I could only watch it once the ending was so heartbreaking. He needs to take a refresher course in compassion and understand animals grieve just as hard as we do.

I wish I had answers that would eliviate you and your other kitties grief. Unfortunately the cost of great Love is loss and great grief. I didn't think I would survive Nickels passing. He had just nursed me through 2 root c&%^s a week before he was killed. I felt so terribly guilty. He never left my side the whole time I was layed up (had a terrible allergic reaction to the shots they gave me, my head swole up like a basketball and nearly put me in the hospital). I also ended up having a heart attack months later. I know I had done damage to my body through the root c&%^s, complications, and especially the guilt and grief over his passing.

I will keep checking in to see how you are doing. This board was my rock during that time. Know you are not alone and we all care deeply about you, your Husband, and kitties. There will always be someone here to talk to. If you want to email me, feel free. My heart is breaking for you and yours. Bless your hearts !

In Christian Love,
Michelle

[nickels]

Dear Joanne,

As I read your post I can tell you your grieving is moving into new stages and quickly. Don't get me wrong, the pain will be bad for much longer, but you are moving forward. I have been emailing my Mothers Priest and a Prayer board today about her recovery. I prayed for her and everyone here at Lighning-Strike as well as everywhere that there is someone experiencing their own private hell that they may have some peace, at least to rest through physical sleep. I sometimes ask for signs and when I do I find them. I didn't ask for a sign this time but as usual the Big Guy sent me one anyway. A shiver ran through my spine and the hair on my arms stood up when I read your post. I live probably less than 5 miles straight down the road from you ! What are the odds? I will email you my info and we can also talk on the phone. I look forward to talking to you at your convenience. All I can say is that I couldn't have written a more heart felt post on surviving your trauma as you have written. Your post says it all. It is so healing and full of hope. It's actually a post I would recommend to anyone that is going to go through half of what you've been experiencing. It's absolutely beautiful and so very moving what you said.

I can see you helping others down the road with their losses. I'm sure Rassy would be at such peace knowing the love you gave him on this earth will be passed on to others. How your pain will turn into understanding and compassion for others going through their personal losses and help them in their time of need. The Blessings this board has brought are amazing.

Well I'd better get to bed but I would love to talk to you at your convenience.

Michelle

[Furkidlets' Mom]

Joanne,

I can see the thoughts and emotions of grief are churning inside you, alongside the wisdom. Just let it all unfold the way it's going to. Your positive leanings will end up helping with the process, but you also need to just feel whatever comes up for you along the way. Grief is a slow process that can't be rushed. And, it IS a "process", not a 'take a pill and it's done" kind of thing. Be patient with yourself.

I'm so glad you, Mew and Howard were given some help from the Other Side when you asked for it. Yeah, Spirit! (and for a lagging appeti*te, have you also tried a small piece of freshly broiled, then cooled and chopped-up, organic chicken for Mew, just to get her jump-started?)

I also wanted to give you this link, for CRF cats. It's a huge site, but to start just find the most pressing categories you're facing and check them out. It doesn't have a very large section on natural treatment options (in it's own section), but there are some things, some of which I used to good success myself, like the Slippery Elm concoction (great for the common over-acidity in the stomachs of kidney cats, which can affect their appeti*te a lot), which both of our vets had already recommended many years before I even found this site, and is safer than using the pharmceutical, Pepcid)
Tanya's CRF information centre

How lucky for both you and Michelle, if you live so close to each other. I'd encourage you to take advantage! There's nothing like a fellow grieving animal lover in the flesh to connect with during grief. The closest I ever came to such a fortunate geographical closeness was about an hour away, but nothing ever came of it for some reason. Too bad, cuz I sure could have used the company, and still could.

[Furkidlets' Mom]

Oh, I forgot to mention, speaking of diets......raw food diets almost always naturally take care of problems of being overweight (for your other cats), but they must be introduced very gradually, IF they'll even take to them. (but some raw food is still better than none at all, if they'll eat just a little bit) Be back later - have a bunch of pruning to do in the yard before it gets too cold out again.

[forduffy]

Hi Joanne,
I just wanted to drop by and say "you go" for sending the vet that letter! I'm with you 100%. I wish I could give you the great kitty advice that everyone else here has but I've never had a kitty. I've always been too allergic which has never stopped me from wanting one. I'm confident that one day I will be able to get one through some miracle. Then you all can help me with advice. But in the meantime, best wishes for Mew and Howard. Again, I am so sorry for your loss of little Rassy. You had a wonderful bond with a really special baby and for that, you were lucky, as was he. You were the best mommy and I know that he knows that.
Hugs,
Stephanie

[Furkidlets' Mom]

Hi. Only have a minute. I suggest having Mew's blood pressure checked, as Nissa started yelling louder than usual and w/i a few months, her bl. pressure skyrocketed suddenly and she got glaucoma in one eye and lost her sight in it. (if not for her homeopathic doc {NOT the same as just a holistic vet}, and the homeo. remedies we used for this, she may have had to have gone for surgery to remove her eye, and she probably wouldn't have survived an operation. High bl. pressure is another fairly common thing with CRF. Hope that vet has a bl. pressure cuff for cats, as they're not all that commonly bought by vets. We ended up going to a specialist clinic, where the one tech was so good at taking bl. pressure in animals, she didn't have to use the awful tape to keep it in place, which was great cuz Nissa went into a panic when they had to remove the tape from her fur (on her front leg).

[Furkidlets' Mom]

You don't need one to be in your area, as many will work over the phone, as long as you also have a local vet as well for physical checks, tests, etc. (your new one could serve this role). Everyone seems to miss this point when I talk about my "distance" homeopathic vet, Dr. Don Hamilton. He was in New Mexico, while I live in Canada. How much farther away can one be?! (I've also posted links on LS before to homeopathic physicians lists, like my own, or checking the Homeopathic Vet. association in the U.S. [or whatever country one lives in], and others)

For Mew, after you ask about these areas, you and the new doc might want to space tests out a little bit, if possible, so as not to stress her too much more than she already is (with changes in diet, loss, change in living quarters, etc.) It's a good sign that she actually wanted to play with something and that should be encouraged. Try your best to remain more upbeat when you go with her to the doc's, bring something along for her to hide in (paper bag, one of those cat 'igloos', etc.) while there (in between being examined, or any procedures), use some calming flower essences for BOTH of you (like Rescue Remedy, or a custom blend that focuses on fears and anxieties she may have), bring along some catnip, a treat, a toy, soothing music (cats often like Mozart), etc., etc.......anything that will help keep her more relaxed and associate going to the docs with something nicer. Stress in CRF cats is a big factor. Of course, these are good ideas for ANY cat, regardless of condition! .........oh, and make sure this new guy is aware about how blood levels of enzymes can show erroneous results if a cat has either just been hydrated, OR is dehydrated! But REMEMBER, test results aside, every patient should be treated based more on HOW THEY'RE FEELING/DOING, rather than just on their "numbers"!! I can't stress this ENOUGH! And maybe he has a vet tech who can come out for sub-cu. trtmnt, rather than having to drag them there every few days, instead.....or he can show you how to do it yourself at home.

The Law of Attraction isn't so easy to 'work' when one is actively grieving because the largest part of grieving effectively is to allow all those emotions to just BE, whatever they are. Acceptance of all your feelings is vital to effective healing eventually. I know most of us would prefer to avoid those feelings, but that's a total pipe dream. If they aren't felt, acknowledged and then expressed or released in some way, they'll just get stored in our cell memory and cause us problems down the road. (one of the reasons why expressing them HERE is helpful) You might also want to read "Grieving Mindfully" by Sameet Kumar.

Yes, I'm well aware of Chakras (and many other things having to do with eastern systems of thought). If you think it might help, take the time to sit down and do a chakra cleansing &/or balancing visualization for yourself. Me, I now use my Rec. Healing for all that sort of stuff, as it's simpler and doesn't allow me to inadvertantly do the 'wrong' thing for my highest good. Rec. Healing leaves the outcome up to the Creator, as long as you don't get in the way of it.

You could try some peppermint or rosemary, either the fresh herb itself, or essential oil, for those headaches - rub a small amount of the oil, mixed with a much higher proportion of a "carrier" oil like sweet almond oil, or even a high quality vir*gin olive oil, onto where your headache is. But wash your hands WELL after use, so as not to get ANY onto the furkids! (essential oils can be very toxic to cats) The fresh herbs don't carry the same precautions, although cats don't like those particular smells.

I also know how hard it is to try and reconcile yourself to NOT receiving any miracles, despite practicing those teachings. (have heard the Teachings of Abraham is a great book, but haven't got it yet myself....but DO have The Secret, What the Bleep and Down the Rabbit Hole, among many others) That's the point at which one must also allow for the fact that each soul has its own plan for Itself, and that Master Plan may not have included a miracle healing on this plane. Trust in this can be quite difficult, but at least this idea helps explain why things might happen as they do and also forms part of how we can derive MEANING from our losses.

And if it helps, despite all the high-calibre care that Nissa received, especially for the last 6.5 yrs. of her life, I, too STILL suffer confusion, guilt, remorse, regret, you-name-it, whenever I hear of another cat who lived (or is still living!) well into their 20's.......and there seem to be MANY of them, yet! So again, I have to fall back on reminding myself of the individual soul's plan.....and for me, also realizing that I/we kept Nissa going for at least as long as she did, which was still a triumph in my head since her brother passed at only 13. This also tells me, though, that genetics can't be used as an automatic 'default' for health problems in anyone! We're ALL individuals, even as part of the One and our souls each have their own path to take and fulfill before returning to Spirit.

I've been pretty much where you seem to be now, Joanne, trying desperately to fit all the pieces of the puzzle neatly into something that will relieve the horrible pain. At exactly 14 months TODAY, I'd like to share that all of that existential thought hasn't helped me as much as I would have liked YET, as some of it served to squash down the FEELINGS. There just is no substi*tute for simply feeling all the horrid feelings that are just THERE, despite our intellectual play with them. So it still comes down to what they say ~ the only way through grief and its feelings IS through it, not around it.

[Furkidlets' Mom]

Yes, you've got a good handle on the overall scheme of things, Joanne. And that will serve you well, I'm sure. Just remember that whenever you do falter, as we all do, it isn't the end of the world, because it's more about the cu*mulative effect of our thoughts (with emotions attached) that has the biggest power to create their manifestation in form. And the trick is also to find balance between all aspects of our lives.

For me, I did have a really good idea, ahead of time, of how much I would hurt when Nissa left. I felt the same amount of love for Sabin, and he'd been, to that point, my biggest teacher. So when he left, I was beside myself with grief, which lasted for many years and took much work to resolve well enough (including the guilt). With that experience of past pain under my belt, yet with much more time spent with my girl and all she got me through in the ensuing years, plus the extra bonding from being so infused in being her care-giver,I knew it would almost, or maybe actually kill me when she left.

And yet, it's STILL been much worse, overall, than I'd ever been able to imagine beforehand!! So I, too, was wrong in a way. I often wish I could just die now. I really don't want to have to be here, despite some moments of laughter and such in the last year. But I'm 'putting up with it' for now, and will see how it all pans out. I'm not here to pose as some poster girl for getting through grief, but am just getting through it as best I can (which is often not very darn well!) and sharing my experiences as I can. It's about all I can do right now. I can barely even be inspirational for anyone anymore, which has also come as a big surprise to me in the last while. Who I was, when my girl was with me here, is gone.

So you may well carry on much better than I, and that would be great. No one, I'm sure, would want to be in MY head space right now.

[Bue's Mommy]

Hello Joanne, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I was really intrigued with the animal communicator. I'm also glad you will be adopting another kitty.

This past Fri I was watching TV, and my cats started to gather around my marble end table. This is the area where Bue hung out when he got sick. I have a large corn plant that I found at the dumpster about 10yrs ago.

I have been living in the same place for a long time now, so I know all the noises, and nuiances of the condo. For some strange reason 2 of the leaves on this big corn plant moved as if a gentle breeze was going through, just these two leaves, this went on for almost a minute.

I got up to shut the sliding window, but the window was not open. I felt like my Bue visited me, I'm crying my eyes out right now because this is the first time I have said anything about this.

You , and your family are in my thoughts

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[Bue's Mommy]

I want to comfort you about Mew, but I honestly don't know what to say. I always thought if a kitty was eating, and going to the box everything will be ok, but it does not always work out that way.

The gentle you breeze you felt, I just cryed my eyes out when I read that. I'm not ashamed to say this, but there are things I would do for my kitties that I would not do for human family members. I'm not sure if I'm extra sensitive to existential occurances or what. I do know that the window was closed, and there is no way a breeze can only hit two leaves on a tree that has many. You validated my feeling, thank you.

I think as you do that they come back to let us know they love us, and are with us.
I just wish the pain did not hurt so bad.

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[Bue's Mommy]

Oh Joanne, your words made me well up so much. Thank you for seeting aside your own pain to help me with mine. I will look up what you talked about on Google.
I don't discount the feeling, I guess I should have worded it better. I just don't share my real feelings, and stuff with people outside this forum. I'm really good at keeping things hidden.

I know I'm not as strong as you, but I so admire you, and Jim's strength going back, and fourth to the vet for Mew. I have learned alot from you, thank you.

I'm so happy your will be getting the kitten, please let kitty know she has a cyber auntie, lol.

Oh just another wierdo thing, Bue liked to lay on a small red rug in the bathroom while I handled my business, lol. I would rub his belly, and he would fall over onto the rug, and he is the only one who would lay on this rug. Almost immediately after he died my female Zena started laying on said rug.
This is a pic of her

Talk to you soon

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