I Can't Really Believe He's Actually Gone!, My boy passed away 4 days ago Options

[jazmin]

I've had two dreams of him well three, but the dream I had two nights ago was the best dream.

In my dream he wasn't young still an old guy, but full of energy, running around happy as could be. He still had short ears, and he had scars on his face from the cancer, but none of it bothered him anymore, he was just happy and playing.

It made me feel really good to have that dream, it is so strange not having him around, I miss his little furry body cuddling with me, he is forever in my heart.

Jazmin

[Taco's Mummy]

Jazmin,

I had been reading your posts when you had to make your decision to end Zack's suffering. Zack was such a sweet, beautiful cat. You took such great care of him and your inner strength has been inspiring and helpful to me. I was too much of a wreck to have any helpful words for you a couple of weeks ago but I just wanted to let you know how appreciated Zack's presence has been on this board.

Sandy

[Precious' mom]

Jazmin,
GREAT!! Dreams of him are SO positive!! He's still with you, even though you can't feel or see him. That bond still exists and he's still so much a part of you.
Never forget that!!!
Lisa

[jazmin]

You are both so sweet, thank you for your kind words, they help more than you can know.

xxJazmin

[kimm]

Hi Jazmin,

I am so glad to hear you had a GOOD dream about Zack! I've been thinking about you & praying for you.

[jazmin]

Yes I have had a good dream, but I still miss him soo much. my sweet boy how will i do this?

Jazmin

[booboosmom]

I don't have good dreams. Actually, I don't sleep for more than a couple of hours a night. I am still wondering how I will get through this. I love my baby and hope he knows this, and how much I miss him. I would like to think they know we still love them and they are waiting somewhere to be with us again. I have two other babies that have kept me going. They love me and they miss their brother. I can't say when it gets easier. I have been trying to focus on the love and happiness he brought to me. I wish there was a reason or explanation for this kind of suffering. It seems so cruel in this world.
I hope you find some peace. My thoughts are with you. Boo Boo Kitty's mom

[Schtoobing'sMom]

Jaz- I'm so glad you had a good dream about Zack! That's a great pic of you two, what a special kitty he was...

Booboo's mom, I firmly believe our babies know we love them, and that we will be together again someday. It's good that you are focusing on the good times with Boo Boo, because I'm sure that's what he would want you to do.

[bluest1]

Jasmine
I lost my girl 1 year and 6 months ago. Oneday she was there and the next day I was having to decide on how long I should try to keep her alive, and for what reasons. In the end I decided to do what was best for my girl. You will never stop missing them Jas, it just changes, with time. I came back to this site today because I missed her, I spent alot of time here, the people on this site really help. Be gentle with your self Jasmine

[jazmin]

Hello Everyone

Well tomorrow I go and pick up his paw prints. The final thing to pick up from the vet. I got the last call today. It seems so final. It's over. All of those years. Gone.

At least I get his little paw print. it will be soo stange, just this little part of him left, just this imprint, nothing more. I screemed his name today in our room, my room, his old room. It felt like he should have been there, lying on the bed waiting for some love.

You know the strangest thing about him not being around is that, I don't know especially since he was so ill this last year and i had to take care of him so much. I can't get over the fact that there's nothing for me to do, I don't need to go home, I could leave for months and nothing nothing. For me this is something that I can't get over. Maybe in time I won't think about it, but I don't want to think about that time the tome when he's really gone.

J

[jazmin]

Well I got his little prints. One from each paw, you can even see where his little nails pressed into the mold. Ohh I love him so much, my sweet angel, I guess he's another little star twinkling down on me.

xxJazmin

[Precious' mom]

Hello Everyone


At least I get his little paw print. it will be soo stange, just this little part of him left, just this imprint, nothing more. I screemed his name today in our room, my room, his old room. It felt like he should have been there, lying on the bed waiting for some love.

You know the strangest thing about him not being around is that, I don't know especially since he was so ill this last year and i had to take care of him so much. I can't get over the fact that there's nothing for me to do, I don't need to go home, I could leave for months and nothing nothing. For me this is something that I can't get over. Maybe in time I won't think about it, but I don't want to think about that time the tome when he's really gone.

J

Jazmin,
I wish I had gotten a paw print but the pet crematory my vet uses didn't do that. You're so lucky you have it!!
I so agree with what you said. It's hard after caring for a sick (and then dying) cat because you feel so useless, like there's nothing to do, nothing to look forward to. That's how I felt before Patches came into my life. He gives me reason to smile and even to love again! We're bonding (he's sleeping by my side every night, no more interruptions) and he has so many "Precious-isms" it's scary but he does respect that I love Precious more and always will. He cries before bedtime because I give Precious (his urn, that is) a hug and a kiss upon retiring for the night. I think he's a little jealous but that's to be expected.
Patch was sent, I think, by Precious because he loved his mummy and didn't want her to be sad. He's still the sweetest baby. It'll be four months since he died (the day after tomorrow, the 6th) and I still miss him and always will. But I know so much of him remains with me and he still sends so many signs letting me know he's okay. Such a wonderful feeling!
Lisa

[jazmin]

I had a dream last night, it was very strange.

I dreamt that I was living in my old house the one that Zack grew up in. I was there with my mother and it was present time, Zack had passed on. For some reason we ended up finding these two kittens that looked just like Zack, all white with a mop of grey hair on thier heads and a grey tail. We took them home and they ran around playing, they were very cute and great friends. I remember going into the bedroom and seeing them curled up sleeping and they looked like two little Zack's. I just started crying and crying and went to my mother and said this is all to soon, he only just left us, why did we get these kittens. She replied that we were just filling in the emptyness with these kittens that looked like him but felt like strangers.

I just had to get this out of my system, it really bothered me when I woke up this morning.

Hope you are all staying strong, xxJazmin

[booboosmom]

J
I had a dream with my mother. She has been gone five years. We were looking for Boo Boo and at first she was telling me I could find him. We went back to the old house and that's when things changed. I realised I wouldn't find him, and then I couldn't find my mother. Our unconscious psyche doesn't know how to be tactful. Which is why I don't like to sleep, or dream anymore.

[jazmin]

It can be so unsettling to wake up from a dream like that. I been left feeling off all day. Dreams can be good and amazing to, so don't give up on them, it's just that during these times they can drift so far away from that.

J

[jazmin]

It has been a hard week. He's gone, he's simply not here any longer and it is really starting to sink in. Yes these last days have been hard on me, i miss him.

j

[Schtoobing'sMom]

*hugs* Jazmin. I know how you feel. I think about my baby a lot, especially at night. And in the morning. And in the afternoon at work, etc. I talk to him a lot, saying things like, 'momma sure does miss the Schtoobing.' and 'I hope you're doing ok, snuggsey.' Nobody asks me about him anymore- I guess everyone is so busy, and they probably don't know what to say, but it's just really messed up that my baby is gone. I still can't bear to take his bed out from underneath my bed. And I keep vacuuming up cat litter, where I had already vacuumed. Where is this cat litter coming from?

I have to keep reminding myself that Schtoobing didn't really leave me. And Jazmin, I hope you remember that Zack hasn't really left you either. His sweet spirit is still with you.

[xrayspex]

Dreams of pets & people I have lost are EXTREMELY unsettling for me. I don't like them. I read of people here that want to have dreams about their pets but I hope it does not happen to me. It seems when it does when I awaken for a brief moment I will believe that the deceased are alive and that the death was just a dream....only to realize within seconds that it was the other way around. I will then be doomed to repeat the entire grief process (an abridged version of it) over the next couple of days and as I'm sure we all know here there is nothing there that is worth repeating!

[jazmin]

It's true when I had that dream I was upset for days, the good dream I had of him made me feel at peace though, I loved just seeing him happy and playing.

God I miss him soo much, this is soo hard. It is strange this life we all lead we are here gathering these memories, experiances, love and then watching it all pass away from us. Why why that is a question we may never know, what is all of this for? Although I can't imagine not having had this experiance of life for all of it's pain it is better than not having it. Not having had the blessing of being with these people and animals in my life, that would have been worst.

Ohh life why do you try us soo.

xxJaz

[Precious' mom]

Jazmin,
Keep watching for signs -- that will give so much comfort! Tigger sending the t*itmouse the day after he died was amazing!
Lisa