Fip - Leaving With An Empty Carrier. On Empty. Options

[raccoonkisses]

I guess what I really would like if for some answers - answers that probably I will never receive. If you have a Christian or New Age perspective on what the hey is going on in my life, I'd love to hear it. I'm on empty. I've been reading up on "soul contracts". I had one "psychic" from here tell me that I had "planned" my animals' departures. It just doesn't resonate with me. What is your take on this? I've written a free verse poem to encapsulate my thoughts:


When my sister was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer last November and told that she had a 20% chance of living 2-5 years,

I wasn’t mad at God…yet.

“She needs to find God,” I thought. “This happened for her to awaken to the possibilities in life”. I prayed and felt nearer to God.

This was eleven months ago today.

When my dog was suddenly taken from me after fatally being hit by a truck in front of me and my other dog three days after my birthday,

I wasn’t mad at God…yet.

I had learned to accept that maybe her death was to make me stop going through the motions of life like I had. I knew her death was expanding my awareness and my understanding of the world.

This was five months ago.

When my cat went blind earlier this year, cried incessantly for months as he looked for us, and then couldn’t stand for the last two days of his life ago and had to be euthanized just months after losing my precious dog,

I wasn’t mad at God…yet.

This was two weeks ago.

“He was old and had lived a full life,” I thought. Though it was horrible timing, I took comfort in knowing I had spent many moments with him knowing his demise was near.

When yesterday, my three year old cat drooled as he panted uncontrollably and then we were told that his condition was fatal FIP brought on by undue stress,

I was mad at God.

This was yesterday.

I am mad at God.

This is today.

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