It's Been A Month, still heartbroken, in pain, help Options

[Hailey-Comet]

It's been a month, yesterday, since I said my final goodbye to my beautiful Hailey-bear. She had such a quite, unassuming presence that there are times when I "forget" she's gone. When I "remember" it's like losing her all over again! Such simple things hit me hard! For example...the snow has begun to melt a bit and I saw the first tuft of backyard grass in months. My first thoughts? That there is still some Hailey poop out there, buried under the snow. I just recently started to pack away my Christmas decorations. They're usually packed by the first week in January but I couldn't bear to pack away her stocking or her ornaments. I still sleep with my black lab stuffed animal, with Hailey's collar around it's neck. The familiar jingle of the tags and the smell of the collar give me melancholly comfort. She was such a huge part of my life for so long. And part of me is scared for this pain to stop.
When Comet died, two years ago, I was a mess. I "heard" his meows and "saw" him everywhere. When we moved to our new house, a few months later, I cried because I was moving somewhere without any memories of him. But it got easier. The pain, not so sharp... the memories, not so clear. I look at his pictures and it's like looking at a childhood scrapbook. I smile, I remember, but I don't feel.
I'm afraid of that happening with Hailey. The pain seems to validate her life. I'm afraid of her becoming only a memory.
I miss her. I want her back. I've been reading about our soulmates finding us again...I want to look in her knowing eyes again. I want a "face bath" (Hailey kisses). I want to see her laying belly up, waiting for someone to notice and give her belly rubs.
I'm sorry for rambling. I just feel like you guys are the only ones who understand me.