My Sweet Smart Daisy Is Gone Options

[BabyHenry]

Friday I took my cat Daisy to the emergency room only to find out she was in kidney failure. She died on Saturday evening. She was only 5. I really did not think she was that sick or would die so I am in total shock. I can't even believe it was real. It was so awful and sudden even my husband was crying. My vet said she had an intensive infection of her kidneys and bladder, but I still can't stop worrying that I some how poisoned her. I mean, how does an indoor cat suddenly get a raging infection? A toxin seems more likely. (We have no plants and are careful with people pills). I have been cleaning a lot this week (for the holiday) and I am afraid maybe I left some cleaning product out that she got into, or I petted her with cleaning product hands and she ingested it. Also I feel TERRIBLE, since on Thursday night before bed she was blocking my exit from the bathroom and "talking" to me, which she has never ever done. I think now she was trying to tell me she did not feel well and was asking for help --- but truly, she seemed fine, eating and no vomiting, none of the symptoms you read about. But I KNEW the behavior was weird. Why didn't I do something? I just petted her and told her to go to bed. I can't bear the thought that she asked me for help and she thinks I did nothing or didn't care. Also, she died alone in the vet hospital with an IV needle in her arm, which she didn't like. We couldn't get there soon enough. From her perspective, I did nothing when she asked for help, then sent her away to strangers who stuck needles in her arm and left her to die with no one from home. So you see, plenty to regret and feel awful about.

She was a beautiful calico cat, small in stature but big in personality, super smart and with a sense of humor. She loved pipe cleaners, and if you accidentally left a packet out she would open them and pass out pipe cleaners to her sisters and herself to play with. She slept by my feet at night and when I get up she slinks up to the area next to my pillow, both to take advantage of the warm spot I left and to see if I left any ear buds for her to play with (she lived the rubber bits at the end). I love her very much.

The worst part is we have her litter mates (2 sisters) and her mom, and they were all very attached to one another. They walk around the house in a little 4 cat crowd, "talking" to each other. Now the remaining three are all upset - where is Daisy?

I miss her so much and my heart feels broken. I am seriously considering giving out other 3 cats away now, since I feel like I can't do this 3 more times. It would be less painful to send them to new homes. This is the 3rd pet we have lost in less that 9 months, so it is extra hard. I hope so much I did not contribute to her death.

[moon_beam]

Hi, BabyHenry, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and for sharing these wonderful pictures of your beautiful Daisy. Please believe me when I share with you how much I truly understand how you're feeling and what you're going through. This grief adjustment journey is a very painful one both physically and emotionally. I truly wish there were an easier to way to endure through it, but unfortunately there are no fast forward or delete buttons we can press to speed up the process or make it automatically disappear. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us, BabyHenry.

I hope today, and every day, is treating you kindly, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Daisy's, and all of your beloved companions, sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam