My Little Girl Is Gone... Options

[Desi]

After nearly 20 years my little Quaker parrot Lady Macbeth was my littlest daughter. We raced an hour and a half to get her to a hospital at midnight Saturday when I realized she was wheezing. I cannot believe I did not realize she was ill. I heard an odd sound 3 days ago but she seemed happy and healthy, playing peekaboo and whistling her songs. I let them take her back to put in an oxygen chamber and in less than 5 minutes I was told she was gone! I can't stop the what-if tape, and how oh how does one deal with so much hurt? I am absolutely devastated and wracked with guilt. 5 hours is just not enough time to say goodbye forever! So much guilt, so much pain. What to do? I just feel so lost....

[moon_beam]

Hi, Desi, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing and these wonderful pictures of your beloved Lady Macbeth. It is obvious from the pictures that your beloved girl brought endless moments of great joy to you, as well as she enjoying every moment with you.

I can remember so very well being thankful for the privacy of the restroom at work where I could make a retreat to regain my composure so that I could go back to my desk to resume my work. And then the drive home with the flood gate of tears breaking forth after being contained all day long. And just when you think you have no more tears left to cry you find yourself thinking a fond memory and the tears come rushing as though it's the first moment when you know your beloved Lady Macbeth is no longer physically with you. Scientific studies prove that the tears we cry are literally healing tears because they wash the toxins out of our bodies that collect as a result of the stress of grieving. So it is vitally important for your health that you allow yourself the opportunities you need to openly grieve for your beloved Lady Macbeth even if you need find a private place away from other people to do so.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Desi, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Lady Macbeth's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam