After nearly 20 years my little Quaker parrot Lady Macbeth was my littlest daughter. We raced an hour and a half to get her to a hospital at midnight Saturday when I realized she was wheezing. I cannot believe I did not realize she was ill. I heard an odd sound 3 days ago but she seemed happy and healthy, playing peekaboo and whistling her songs. I let them take her back to put in an oxygen chamber and in less than 5 minutes I was told she was gone! I can't stop the what-if tape, and how oh how does one deal with so much hurt? I am absolutely devastated and wracked with guilt. 5 hours is just not enough time to say goodbye forever! So much guilt, so much pain. What to do? I just feel so lost....

Hi, Desi, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Lady MacBeth. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing a companion so unexpectedly intensifies the grief.

Desi, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. One of the many emotions we all experience is guilt / remorse for this comes from looking back and trying to reconcile all the whys, what ifs, and if onlys that haunt and torture our hearts when we are so emotionally vulnerable. From what you share with us there is no doubt that you did everything in your human and humane power to give your beloved Lady MacBeth a happy and healthy earthly journey. I hope in time you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Lady MacBeth knows that you love her - - for in the midst of all this pain is the undeniable fact that the love bond you and your beloved Lady MacBeth share is eternal - - it is not restricted by the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Lady MacBeth's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep sorrow there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Lady MacBeth with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of her with us - - but only if / when you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Desi, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Desi,
I am very sorry for the loss of Lady Macbeth. Please know that you are not alone and we are here for you.

Lulusmom

Thank you both so much for your words of support. I am still having such a hard time, with many tears. I call it a success if I can get through the workday without falling apart until I get home. Bellow you will see my little Lady - she was always full of kisses for everyone she met. She also loved doing cage calisthenics, as you can see. At 6 weeks old she was a little lover, and that never changed in 17+ years.
Thank you so much for being here, and caring.
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Hi, Desi, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing and these wonderful pictures of your beloved Lady Macbeth. It is obvious from the pictures that your beloved girl brought endless moments of great joy to you, as well as she enjoying every moment with you.

I can remember so very well being thankful for the privacy of the restroom at work where I could make a retreat to regain my composure so that I could go back to my desk to resume my work. And then the drive home with the flood gate of tears breaking forth after being contained all day long. And just when you think you have no more tears left to cry you find yourself thinking a fond memory and the tears come rushing as though it's the first moment when you know your beloved Lady Macbeth is no longer physically with you. Scientific studies prove that the tears we cry are literally healing tears because they wash the toxins out of our bodies that collect as a result of the stress of grieving. So it is vitally important for your health that you allow yourself the opportunities you need to openly grieve for your beloved Lady Macbeth even if you need find a private place away from other people to do so.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Desi, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Lady Macbeth's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Desi,
Lady Macbeth is so pretty and looks like a playful girl. I have the same thing happen where I hold in my tears until I am on my drive home from work. A few times I have had to go to the ladies room at work and cry too, like Moon Beam said. For me it actually feels good to let the tears out and is a relief to get the sad feelings out. I still feel sad most days and cry most days too so you are not alone.

Lulusmom

Desi, I am so sorry about the physical loss of your baby. There is nothing like this kind of pain.

She knows how much you loved and love and will always love her! You will be fully reunited again.

Please keep checking in here. Prayers of healing and peace coming your way!

Kathy

Your kindnesses have meant so much to me over this past week! I miss my little girl so much, but I have come to better terms with it now. I spent this last weekend putting together collages, one for home and one for work, that I might see her lovingly and remember her fondly whenever I wish. It actually helped so, so much. Here are a couple of amazing pictures I would share with you. She was a little actress - a bird model, and appeared in 3 stage plays! Quite the little ham - always a little love.
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Wow, what amazing photos of your precious, beautiful, girl !!!

Love seeing these and I hope you can send more. Stunning !

I am glad you are making collages. What an excellent idea!!

She's right there with you and is experiencing only bliss.

Keep in touch!
Kathy

Hi, Desi, thank you so much for sharing these wonderful pictures of your beloved Lady Macbeth with us. I particularly like the beach photo. Working on a collage and other projects can help with the grief adjustment process because you're focused on the many wonderful memories you and your belove Lady Macbeth share and treasure. And yes - - she treasures them just as much as you do.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Desi, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Lady Macbeth's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam