The Debate, pts Options

[Saki & Freyj...]

So I say to myself "You should put Lec down before xmas instead of dragging her out to your folks house and stressing her out and etc. ..." Then I say "No, I can't do that. Even though I know she is dying, I should wait til Friday bc I won't be able to get thru xmas if I put her down before then..."

Then I think "Heck, I can't make an appt for friday. Nope. God(s) gave me a sign when it was time to put Frey down, and in their mercy took Saki from me and spared me that pain of putting her to sleep and until I get some sorta damned sign, I shouldn't even think about it..."

Then I look at Lec, cat milk (the only thing she'll consume now-- and very little of that) all over her face, too thin to get a damned needle in her for fluids and I think "YOU need to be merciful, you need to be strong... you are selfish..."

And this goes round and round and round and round in my head all day long.

I've had my talk with lec and told her she doesn't have to be strong and that she can go if she needs to. But I haven't had the balls to ask the gods if they will go ahead and take her. Last time, they answered that prayer, and while I really am quite grateful, at the same time, I guess I am scared that if I do that, they WILL take her...

[SJ J & S]

Kiwi could never be mad with you, and did you know that animals would normally leave the pack and go off to die on their own. My Sadie tried to do just that lying at the bottom of the garden looking back at the house, which was the furthest she could get from the ‘pack’
Your separation from her was merely seconds before her spirit found you again.

Put yourself in both Kiwi’s and your dad’s position and how would you feel towards them if they had done these things for you. The spirit world is a wonderful place and once you have dealt with your guilt I'm sure you will feel the love they are sending you to help heal you from your pain.
I like you went through every reason to feel guilty and punish myself and in the end all I could do was to forgive myself, I think my last posting in Rest in peace tells how I came about this. STAMERA is the Angel of FORGIVENESS and you should call on her three times when you need her most to help you release some of your pain and begin to find peace with yourself.

You will find your own way through this, I have turned to Spiritualism and actually today is the first day that I will be learning healing. I've come a long way since March when I had Jude put to sleep and maybe it was in my cards to do just that in order for me to be where I am today.

I wish you well and wish I could better let you know that you are a loving a kind person for what you did and have no reason to feel so guilty.

God Bless

Love Sue