Trevor's Mom Has Gone Home, They're together again - forever Options

[Gretta's Mom]

Dear friends who loved Trevor and his mom (and that seems like half the world - they were miraculous souls)

Trevor's mom joined him in the Perfect World on April 9. They are now reunited, never to be parted again. If it's not too inappropriate, here is a poem I wrote to her. If it is, and the site admin takes this post down, I'll understand and repost.

Little Sister, where are you?
Little Sister, so very tiny – every drop of blood exchanged for life (a total blood replacement at birth)
Little Sister, so very little – of the curly blonde hair and sharp teeth (she bit HARD as a toddler)
Little Sister – screaming in the night no one could wake you up (nightmares from brain effects of the blood transfusion)
Little Sister – I look around for your spirit but I don’t see it, I don’t feel it.
Little Sister – Are you gone forever? Will I never feel your spirit like I felt the spirits of Rufus and Gretta? (my two dogs)
Little Sister – I am here to be with you as we had always planned, but you are gone. Now every city looks the same, the same without you.
Little Sister – You are my heart, you are half of everything I am.
Little Sister – Dreamer dreams lonely dreams and Kelly walks in circles looking for you. I do my best to love them – but they know. (her two dogs)
Little Sister – Maybe I will have to leave your house in order for your spirit to find me.
Little Sister – In the end I could not help you, I could not save you. I am so sorry.
Little Sister – Did you take a part of my heart with you? Does it hurt so much that I can’t feel it?
Little Sister – Did you leave a part of your heart with me? I hope so. Oh how I hope so. Oh how I miss you. Oh how I love you.
Little Sister, little star. How do I know which one you are?

Gretta and rufus's mom

[Gretta's Mom]

Another beautiful set of pictures and words. Alley Animals will always be near and dear to my heart. It's about time to start collecting comforters for them for animals who are outside during the winter.

Todd, I am having a terrible time with my brother in law. During the 5 days I was gone to North Carolina, he again changed the locks on his house - this time against ME. We had a blow-up last Wednesday when I got home, which ended up with me taking all the pictures of my family and several framed pictures that Bobbie had made for my dad (and the sock monkey which I made for her and which he had never really liked) after he told me he had changed therapists - presumably because the former one was really good, made sense, and gave him a deadline for getting rid of the Witch Woman. This man KNEW the WHOLE story, especially since I went to a session and filled him in on some things. Later he commented to Stan that I had some pretty good insights. He had to go to a new therapist so he could start with a clean slate and fill him full of whatever and however Stan chose to tell him.. And I KNOW this was nowhere near the truth. Presumably Witch Woman was the one who FOUND this man and maybe even went with him to the session. Stan claimed that this doctor told him I was "toxic" to his health and to get out and not come back.

Todd, I cannot tell you how many tears I shed over never being able to see the dogs again. Stan can go to Sheol as far as I am concerned, but those dogs are my heart. I wrote Stan a poison pen letter about how much I had helped them financially over the years (even I was amazed at the amount 42K) and asked him if he thought I was "toxic" then. Then I went home and cried for three solid days. It was wrong on my part to send that letter so I texted him and apologized (mostly so I could get to see the dogs). Now I can go over there on days he is working ( he leaves the door unlocked) and let the dogs out, play with them and just tell them how much they are loved. They literally saved my sanity during the time Bobbie was sick and then died. And afterward, too. I truly don't know how I would have made it if they hadn't been there.

I really don't want to move out of the place I'm in: I love the old building, I like the neighborhood, I can afford the rent, and moving takes A LOT of energy that I don't have - not to mention it's expensive! But I will do it in the hopes that I can see the dogs, have them come over and visit me, and eventually come to live with me when Stan becomes unable to care for a dog - which he has written in an agreement.

Right now I feel like a dog in the streets with nowhere to go.

Thank you for always understanding and always lifting my heart with the beautiful and touching pictures you find and the words of you beautiful poems. YOU have saved my sanity, too.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Gretta and Rufus's mom (still haven't located a loadable picture of Rufus.