Feeling Guilty, Feeling Guilty Options

[ChrissyW]

I don't post very often but it seems lately I am feeling guilty of an adoption that went wrong. I wanted/needed another dog similiar to my boy that passed away and went and found a dog at a local shelter. I was so happy and excited. My kids wanted another dog. But 3 long weeks with a dog that we lived around because of undisclosed illness I couldn't trust him around my children. My cats and other dogs were terrified of him and he tried to get aggressive with my husband so we got on the phone with rescues. No avail. No one wanted to talk to me or couldn't take him. I couldn't risk my children getting hurt. My vet was out and the rescue that kinda helped me ran me through the coals. I am not a vet and don't know why my vet did what he did for diagnosing this dog. Any way we ended having to take him back to the shelter. I didn't want to but for my children I did. I feel super guilty. I am not a bad person, in fact I wish I had a ranch and a lot of money to help animals. Granted our society doesn't really look at animals as part of a family but a possesion. This guilt leads to my boys death. Being a woman, when my hormones go wacky, it brings his death to the surface and I cry. I want him back. I guess I have made it easy on me by putting pictures up everywhere I am. I try to remember the good times. But the guilt doesn't seem to be leaving. I come here and I cry and feel for everyone here at LS. In a way I am sorry we had to come together in this time of sorrow. I also don't know if the sick dog got a new home or went to Rainbow Bridge to meet up with my boy. I hope he is not mad at me. As the title says I am feeling guilty. I just needed to say it somewhere. Thanks for listening.
ChrissyW

[CheriAnn]

Dear Chrissy,

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time lately. I know the pain and loss of your precious boy is hard enough to deal with when it comes back and hits you, but this guilt only makes the pain worse.

I remember replying to your post about the adopted dog. We had rescued a black lab male, about a year old, several years ago, that was dumped on the side of the road. We discovered after we got him that he had hip dysplasia. We went as far as having the surgery done for him, which wasn't cheap. Then, after all that, we started having other problems that forced us to give him up. I still have days when that guilt hits me and I just hate myself for giving up on him! At the time we didn't have any no-kill shelters or human society places here. He went to a "pound". To this day, like you, I don't know if someone gave him a good home that was able to work with his "issues", or if he was sent to Rainbow Bridge. However, at the time, we did the best we could for him. To make the guilt worse, he fathered the one litter of puppies my Rachael had (NOT planned!). My brother has one of the offspring!

Like us, you really tried and gave that furbaby a chance. You have a family to worry about, and you just couldn't take the chance. Try to take comfort that you gave him 3 great weeks with you and your family. I try to tell myself that Taz lived a good life for the months we had him. That was in 1997, and it still creeps up on me now and then. That's just what people like us, who love furbabies so much, must endure when an adoption just doesn't work out. I wouldn't want us to be any other way, though, to be so caring and compassionate!

Take care of yourself, and forgive yourself,
Cheri