Missing My Friend

Well, here is a new year & it seems so different. My friend is gone. I had to let him go. My little friend Whitey came to stay with me for awhile. He brightened up this old man's life. At least I feel so old. The dear little starving kitten came crying to my door & looked at me with his big beautiful blue eyes. I nursed him back to health. But he was a little hobo who just had to roam. I was always so scared he would get run over by a car. We had him I guess nearly 3 years. Then he got sick, started acting strange. We took him to the vet. They found he had FIV. I tried to keep him indoors, but could not make him happy. He longed for the freedom he could never have again. Or maybe he just wanted to go away to die in private. Finally, as depressed as he, I decided to have him euthanized. It was a hard decision. That was the last of October. We brot him home to bury him. We wept like children. My heart still aches. We had another cat & adopted another stray kitten. Alas, neither has been enuf to make me stop missing my dear beloved Whitey, who really was my friend. I have a very good wife, best a man could ever want. And still that is not enuf to comfort me, to help me over the loss of my little hobo friend, that I had to give the finally gift of letting him go. But I couldn't go with him! And I cannot stop missing him, & hurting. Do I feel like a foolish old man? Oh yes, you bet I do. I'm sitting here with my eyes so blurred with tears I can hardly see the keyboard. I've got a good good wife & a nerotic spayed cat & a friskey unspayed calico kitten, & it is not enuf.... not near enuf to help me get over the bitter loss of my friend Whitey. I sure do hope there is a heaven for animals to go. And I sure hope I'll see him again some sweet day. But looks like my life is just never going to be the same, dammit.

Whitie's Death

About 2 years ago, a little stray kitten with big blue eyes came into our lives. For us, it was love at first sight. He was starving, his bones showed. We felt he had been put out. He seemed to have been abused. Tho he begged for food, it took some time to really win him over. We nursed him back to health & hoped he'd be with us a long time. But... he wasn't. After only 2 years, he was diagnised with FIV, & our hearts broke. We tried keeping him in doors & hoped to keep him alive awhile longer, but he was miserable, depressed. He had always been an outside cat. Not that we wanted him to be. We'd loved for him to stay inside with us all the time. But he had to have his freedom. And then he caught FIV!!! After about a month of his "captivity", as it must've seemed to him, I could not stand to see him so miserable any longer & persuaded my wife we should have him euthanized. The first time we tried to take him, we backed out halfway there. Later the same day, we got up the nerve for another try & succeeded. WE picked him up this morning & burried him. We are grief stricken. We miss him terribly!!! The vet said we did the right thing. I want to believe so. But we sure miss him. Before we put him in the ground, we unwrapped him for one last look. He was in a resting position & looked contented. He even seemed to have a smile on his face. That is about the only thing now that gives us any comfort or consolation. But God we miss our pet!!!! Can anyone offer any hints on dealing with grief?