I Accidentally Killed My Soul-dog, How Do I Move Forward? Options

[Zephyr's Mom]

Two days ago, on my way home from a long drive with the dogs, I stopped at the top of our long drive way to let them out of the car to run alongside as we sometimes have done in the past. Their joy is contagious and so beautiful. It was the most stupid thing I've ever done. Within 5 sec, Zephyr somehow ran under or in front of the car. I never saw. I just thought I hit a rock, then I looked for him and only saw him collapse in the dirt. I scooped him up and rushed him to the vet, but he was already gone. Gone! My most beloved friend, my only true friend. The sweetest and most loving presence anyone could ever know. I had taken him all over the world, even Kenya, with me. We were inseparable. He never left my feet. I work at home so he was a constant loving presence all day, every day. Always snuggling and full of joy. How could I have ended all that life and love? I hate myself. I don't know how to keep living. He was the love of my life. And, it was all my fault. Maybe no one here will even want to respond because you will think I am the worst person in the world. I am! I can't stop thinking of those last few minutes. He trusted me and I betrayed him. I can't tell you how painful this is. I can't stop crying. I haven't been able to eat or sleep since it happened. I am bereft. Everything reminds me of him and then reminds me of the accident. I can't go outside. I don't know how life can continue. Everything is empty and hollow. I am empty and hollow. This being that I poured my love into for seven years is just gone. What am I going to do? I can't bear this pain.

[Princessmommy]

Dear zephyr's mom,

Oh my goodness tears were coming down my cheeks as I was reading your story. Let me start by saying my heart is totally hurting for you right now. I cant even imagine how crush you must be feeling now for the loss of your beautiful baby. Please dont blame yourself for this it was never your intention to hurt your own baby. Unfortunately accidents happen an sometimes theirs nothing we can do to stop them. I know our babies our always happy an full of energy when they are outside so they always run into things without them knowing its going to hurt them. You are not nor ever will you be the worst person in the world. Please dont think that way nobody in here is going to think that about you never in a million years. Everyone in here is not here to judge you of nothing we are not perfect an we alwaya make mistakes somehow. But in the case of your baby it was not your fault you were her mommy an it was never your intention to kill her. I know your baby zephyr's doesn't blame you either hwe know how much loved an care ypu had for him that he will always be grateful for alway. Im so sorry you are feeling so hurt an I completely understand you. But dont ever thing that nobody is going to respond to you for you being such a horrible person because we will not think that way at all. Instead we are here to help an support one another because everyone in here has experience some type of loss in the past or recently.Im still kind of new here so Im still hurting myself but eventhough Im still in the grief process I like to offer my support to other people that needs it. It makes me feel a little bit good an I know my little baby girl wherever she is now she is so happy for me knowing that her mommy is providing sympathy to others hurting to. I know my words can't be of much help right now to you because of the way you are feeling now, but I just want you to know that you are not alone that I will always be here for you as much as you need me maybe it will help both of us if we stick together an be able to share our experiences with one another.

I will like to offer you my positive thoughts an letting you know I will be thinking of you today an always. Take care of yourself an always remember that love never ends.

Hugs to you,

~ Mayra


Princess mommy ♥♥♥♥ (now Blanca's mommy)