Haunted By Actions Of His Last Day Options

[trace123]

Regret, regret, regret. That is all that I can manage to muster. The final times I saw my beloved Klaus alive was on Tuesday morning. I took him for his morning walk and all seemed fine. He was upbeat and and happy to go out as usual. Ntohing gave me any clue that a few short hours later my life would be drastically changed forever.

Our usual morning ritual would be for me to get up, find him laying outside of my bedroom door for his morning acknowledgement, give him a pet and say good morning. After my shower, I would take him for his morning walk, bring him back inside and go to work. Before leaving the house I would tell him I love him and that I would either see him later or be a good boy.

For some reason, on this last day of his life, I did not tell him I love him. All I can remember is seeing him out of the corner of my eye as I walked out the door. WHY DIDN'T I TELL HIM THAT I LOVED HIM????? Was Klaus asking himself why is he not talking to me? Did I hurt his feelings? Did I cause him to die with a broken heart?

These questions will haunt my existance until the end of time. I am devastated by nt only his sudden, unexpected loss, but also my failure to let him know one last time that I love him.

I know that he would not want me to be sad, but I think that all of the pain I feel is deserved for taking my sweet boy granted.

I'm sorry Klaus. Please forgive me.

[trace123]

Dear DJ - Edgar, Jesse, Tom's Mom & Rusty's Mom,

I completely understand everything that you both said in your posts, and I know that you are right, as humans we always seem to try to rationalize things from a human perspective when it comes to our fur babies. I know that I was a good Dad to my Klausie, however I know I could've been better.

There is a line from a movie called Meet Joe Black that I cannot get out of my mind. In the movie Anthony Hopkins is greeted by Death, played by Brad Pitt. Death tells Hopkin's character that he is going to take him, so Hopkins knows that he is going to die. Before he goes, Hopkins tells his daughter that he loves her, he is proud of her and that she brought happiness and meaning to his life that he had no right to expect or deserve. That is how I feel about my Klaus. He brought such a joy to my life, a level of happiness that I had no right to expect or deserve.

My heart is heavy with grief over the loss of my dearest boy. The memory of him laying on the floor, alone, will haunt me until it is my turn to walk across the Rainbow Bridge with him. Until that time comes, I will forever mourn the loss of my Klaus.

Thank you for your kind words of support. They are much appreciated. You both are too kind.

Brett