Regret, regret, regret. That is all that I can manage to muster. The final times I saw my beloved Klaus alive was on Tuesday morning. I took him for his morning walk and all seemed fine. He was upbeat and and happy to go out as usual. Ntohing gave me any clue that a few short hours later my life would be drastically changed forever.

Our usual morning ritual would be for me to get up, find him laying outside of my bedroom door for his morning acknowledgement, give him a pet and say good morning. After my shower, I would take him for his morning walk, bring him back inside and go to work. Before leaving the house I would tell him I love him and that I would either see him later or be a good boy.

For some reason, on this last day of his life, I did not tell him I love him. All I can remember is seeing him out of the corner of my eye as I walked out the door. WHY DIDN'T I TELL HIM THAT I LOVED HIM????? Was Klaus asking himself why is he not talking to me? Did I hurt his feelings? Did I cause him to die with a broken heart?

These questions will haunt my existance until the end of time. I am devastated by nt only his sudden, unexpected loss, but also my failure to let him know one last time that I love him.

I know that he would not want me to be sad, but I think that all of the pain I feel is deserved for taking my sweet boy granted.

I'm sorry Klaus. Please forgive me.

I understand how you feel. To this day I say goodbye to Oscar every single time I leave the house - even if I have to "yell" it back into the house from the front door.

I actually remember telling Edgar goodbye before I went out of town. I was lucky to have remembered to do so - he died while I was away. Dozens of times I had not done so - I will never make that mistake again.

The point is - you DID love him. He KNEW that. What you are doing is finding a way to handle your grief at his loss - and you are doing so by finding blame in YOURSELF. It's perfectly normal - but you have to understand why you are doing so.

Humans need someone or something to point a finger at. We hate unexplained phenomenon.

Did you love Klaus? What about the times you DID say goodbye? What about the times you DID cuddle him, pet him or play with him? The daily walks, the playtime... Don't those count for something?

What about that morning when you took the time to walk him and bond with him by doing so? Do you think that a few human words not being spoken truly makes a difference to a dog who probably thought you were the most amazing thing in the world? I doubt he noticed - he was probably too happy just being by your side, knowing you cared enough to take him out. Many pets are ignored for weeks or months on end. Put in the backyard instead of taken for a walk. You loved him too much for that. Taking him for granted??!!! You certainly didn't do that...

Don't be so cruel to yourself - you deserve better. You were a loving, caring friend who fulfilled your commitments to him - and more - as his friend, owner and parent.

He loved you.

Dear DJ and Brett,

DJ, You said it perfectly......................Brett, you are really being too hard on yourself. Klaus was very lucky to have you for a dad. Anyone can tell that from your posts.

Sincerely,

Lynn

Dear DJ - Edgar, Jesse, Tom's Mom & Rusty's Mom,

I completely understand everything that you both said in your posts, and I know that you are right, as humans we always seem to try to rationalize things from a human perspective when it comes to our fur babies. I know that I was a good Dad to my Klausie, however I know I could've been better.

There is a line from a movie called Meet Joe Black that I cannot get out of my mind. In the movie Anthony Hopkins is greeted by Death, played by Brad Pitt. Death tells Hopkin's character that he is going to take him, so Hopkins knows that he is going to die. Before he goes, Hopkins tells his daughter that he loves her, he is proud of her and that she brought happiness and meaning to his life that he had no right to expect or deserve. That is how I feel about my Klaus. He brought such a joy to my life, a level of happiness that I had no right to expect or deserve.

My heart is heavy with grief over the loss of my dearest boy. The memory of him laying on the floor, alone, will haunt me until it is my turn to walk across the Rainbow Bridge with him. Until that time comes, I will forever mourn the loss of my Klaus.

Thank you for your kind words of support. They are much appreciated. You both are too kind.

Brett

Brett, I guess all of us blame ourselves for something. I was not to pleasant with Snookie at times when she had to go out in the cold night so often a few weeks before she passed away. I chewed her out when she pee pee'd in my car when she had never did that before. She could not help it and I am ashamed of myself for getting onto her I am not the type to be unkind. Maybe the pain of the things we feel ashamed about will one day get easier like hopefully the pain of them being taken from our arms will be.
Ann