When Does It Start To Feel Better? Options

[snrein1016]

It's been three weeks for me, and I swear, I feel like am never going to feel better. I can't believe how bad I feel even after three weeks. I've had good things happen to me in the past week that I just don't care about.

Can anyone talk about when it stops hurting? At least so I start to feel like myself again?

Thank you.

[Gretta's Mom]

Hello Suzanne

Three weeks is only an instant in this grief. I don't mean that to sound pessimistic - just to let you know that you are, as MoonBeam says, perfectly normal. In March, my beloved 10-year-old Half black lab-half Newfie Rufus had to be sent to the promised Land when I was halfway across the continent caring for an ill sister. I'm still crying at the thought of his name, or looking at the beautiful picture book his foster mother made, or writing to him on LS.

For the first several weeks, you're just doing the "robot-walk" - walking through your life doing the minimum that has to be done and feeling, well, like a robot. Because to open even a tiny crack brings on the rush of tears and pain. You know life is worth it but it sure doesn't feel like it.

Animals like your Poe are spirit-animals, like the white buffalo in the Native American tradition. From the beginning of time Poe and you have been soul-mates - you each carry a piece of each other's soul. These spirit animals search the universe over, through billions and billoins of people until they find the one and only who is carrying the missing piece of their souls. Then, even more amazing, they put themselves in our paths so we will find them. And the instant recognition and bond tell the whole story. Our life together is like a dream, and then whoever made the universe decided to make their lifespans shorter than ours, and we get put to the ultimate test of love - to put ourselves through the searing pain of letting them go to live an pain- and sickness-free life where they came from: the Perfect World.

But in reality, the only things that happens is that we can no longer sense them with our human senses. And that HURTS!!!! But their spirits are still with us just as they ever were. Lovely Poe is still right there by your side and on his job - guiding your steps, protecting you, and most important, loving you. Sometimes you will get a strong feeling that they are in their usual spots and then look and they won't be there. That is their way of giving us a sign that they ARE there and they are OK and they love us the same as before. Some people actually catch glimpses of their spirit-animals. I've only dreamt about my first dog and even then she was of a different breed.

Suzanne, I think we grieve in proportion as we love. So, in answer to your question, not for a LONG time. And I believe we are never quite the same, because our spirit animals (and there can be more than one) have carried back the piece of our souls with them. But they have left us a wonderful gift - a piece of their soul AND the promise that we WILL be together someday in the Perfecct World.

We're with you, Poe's mom. We care and we understand. Please keep writing about beautiful Poe.

Rufus and Gretta's mom