Holidays Without My Sweet Girl, First Christmas without my cat Options

[Precious26]

Coming home tonight from my boyfriend's family's dinner, I knew my sweet cat of 20 years wouldn't be here to make Christmas eve complete the way I have always remembered. It was very hard looking at our porch where she always was. I just wanted to go outside and grab her, but it broke my heart she wasn't there.
It's been a month now since I had to put her down for kidney failure and it still hurts. I still miss her terribly, despite having a new kitten in the house. I wasn't ready for a new kitten, and still am not some days, but my mom was hurting just as much from the loss of our old cat, so she needed a new friend. It has helped some, but this is the first Christmas I will remember without my sweet girl.
I am not sure how to deal with this situation this holiday. I've lost family members and have missed them at Christmastime, but this is different. She was always there to help me through missing those family members, but now I don't have anything to help me through missing her this holiday.
How do we cope with the loss of our furry friends and companions through holidays? She should be going to sleep with me tonight, but instead I'll be going alone. I am just not sure how to deal with these feelings. If anyone has any advice, it would be much appreciated.
Merry Christmas.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Precious26, please permit to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved companion. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Regardless of how long we share our precious companion's earthly journey we will always want just one more minute, one more hour, one more day, one more lifetime with them - - for an eternity with them is never long enough.

Precious26, you ask a universal question that each of us asks when we are physical separated from our beloved companions: "How do we cope with the loss of our furry friends and companions through holidays?" What is advertised as being the "most wonderful time of the year" can in reality be the "most horrible time of the year" when our hearts are shattered with grief. The only answer I can offer you is to do what is most comfortable for you to help you through these difficult days. Although clinical professionals recognize that the grief journey of loss of a beloved companion is the same as, if not more intense than, the loss of a human family member or friend, unfortunately our society in general, and sadly sometimes the people who are closest to us geographically and emotionally, does not. This is one of the many reasons why this forum was established as a safe place for people who are grieving the physical loss, or illness, of their precious companions can come to be among people who truly do understand what you are going through. Hopefully somehow you will be able to feel each of us reaching out to you across the cyber miles holding you and comforting you when the deep pain of your sorrow feels like it is more than your heart can bear. By ourselves we would crumble under the weight of the burden of the intense sorrow and pain of our grief adjustment journeys. Together we are bound by the comfort, support, encouragement, and hope of each other that enables us to find the strength and courage to endure one more minute, one more hour, one more day, one more month - - until we feel strong enough to try to stand on our own and extend our arms to someone else who is in need of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope.

For now, though, I know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow that is in your heart. Please let me try to reassure you that the deep sorrow you are feeling is very normal deep grief - - very panfiul both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. I promise you, Precious26, that it will not always be this way. In your own way and in your own time there will come a moment when you will be thinking of your beloved companion and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and the deep sorrow in your heart will not feel quite so intense. But it is going to take awhile for you to come to this place in your adjustment journey, for you are now on a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time.

The good news in the midst of all this deep sorrow is that your beloved companion's sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will. The love bond you share is eternal, Precious26 - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved companion's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of you - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved companion with us, Precious26. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of her with us - - but only when or if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Precious26, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam