Welcome To Our New Members!, Post your introductions here.... Options

[LS Support]

hi there, glad you could make it i am happy to provide this new forum for members of
the L-S old forums ( http://lightning-strike.com/forums/ )as well. as those working their way from our battle-torn alt.support.grief.pet-loss
newsgroup on USENET. perhaps we all can use this as a troll-free resource as i will be ruthless
on off-topic postings and finally have the tools to squash any problems

this would be a great forum to introduce yourselves, if you want. i will kick it off for y'all.

my name is marcdavid, people call me MD (i am not a doctor or vet, a rumour that has
been around ever since my pet-loss work has). i started the lightning-strike site back in '96
as a tribute to my very dear friend Tribble, who passed quickly from a thrombotic clot. it was
a nightmarish scene at the end, my wife (now ex) was a new vet and we tried to save him
but he died in my arms. i have not had a pet since, not my own...we did have 7 cats when i was
married though. to be truthful, i am kinda burnt out on cats and hope to get a dog one day,
a jack russell terrier is my hopeful. oh, right now we do have fish. and a snail. and cuz i left
the window open, about 100 flies

im a 40yo freelance writer in columbus ohio and have 2 great kids ages 6 and 3. they keep me
on the run constantly. so although i will visit here several times a day, i may not post as much
as the rest of you but rest assured i will be reading and wishing you well during these hard times
in your life.

over the summer, i hope to completely redesign lightning-strike.com. i also have a very nice
chat room up and running now if anyone has the interest to participate. it has not been released
publicly yet, so let me know and i can get it readied.

welcome again, i hope you find the support you need here

[SJ J & S]

Hello Martin and Dee,

It breaks my heart every time I read the stories like yours, we feel so lost and helpless, we cant understand why we had to do it or how we did it.

You weren’t playing God, you loved Brandi and therefore you were the only ones that could make the decision, I know your having doubts now, but at the time it was your heart that decided out of love for Brandi, now its your head that’s working too hard to make sense of it all.

Its taken me a long time and lots of painful thoughts and feelings until finally all I could do was to forgive myself, some would say that I had nothing to forgive but it’s the only way that I can accept the past and move on.

I hope the following will help with understanding what is going on with little Brutus its from one of the topics at the top of the Death and Dying page

DO PETS GRIEVE?

What many people find hard to believe is that animals can form very firm attachments with each other. Even pets that outwardly seem to barely get along will exhibit intense stress reactions when separated. In fact, grieving pets can show many symptoms identical to those experienced by the bereaved pet owner. The surviving pet(s) may become restless, anxious and depressed. There may also be much sighing, along with sleep and eating disturbances. Often, grieving pets will search for their dead companions and crave more attention from their owners.

How can an owner help the grieving pet?

By following the following recommendations:

1. Keep the surviving pet(s) routines as normal as possible.

2. Try not to unintentionally reinforce the behaviour changes.
- if the pet's appetite is picky, don't keep changing the food. All that does is create a more finicky pet.
- don't overdo the attention given to the pet(s) as it can lead to separation anxiety.

3. Allow the surviving animals to work out the new dominance hierarchy themselves.
- there may be scuffles and fights as the animals work out the new pecking order (dogs mostly)

4. Don't get a new pet to help the grieving pet(s) unless the owner is ready.
- will backfire unless the owner is emotionally ready for a new pet.
- people still grieving won't have the energy for it.

Should the owner let the surviving animals see and smell their dead companion?
There is no evidence that doing so will help the surviving pet(s), but some people claim that it does.
Usually, all it accomplishes is to make the owner feel better. Therefore, if the owner wants to have the surviving pets "say good-bye," then it should be allowed.