hi there, glad you could make it i am happy to provide this new forum for members of
the L-S old forums ( http://lightning-strike.com/forums/ )as well. as those working their way from our battle-torn alt.support.grief.pet-loss
newsgroup on USENET. perhaps we all can use this as a troll-free resource as i will be ruthless
on off-topic postings and finally have the tools to squash any problems

this would be a great forum to introduce yourselves, if you want. i will kick it off for y'all.

my name is marcdavid, people call me MD (i am not a doctor or vet, a rumour that has
been around ever since my pet-loss work has). i started the lightning-strike site back in '96
as a tribute to my very dear friend Tribble, who passed quickly from a thrombotic clot. it was
a nightmarish scene at the end, my wife (now ex) was a new vet and we tried to save him
but he died in my arms. i have not had a pet since, not my own...we did have 7 cats when i was
married though. to be truthful, i am kinda burnt out on cats and hope to get a dog one day,
a jack russell terrier is my hopeful. oh, right now we do have fish. and a snail. and cuz i left
the window open, about 100 flies

im a 40yo freelance writer in columbus ohio and have 2 great kids ages 6 and 3. they keep me
on the run constantly. so although i will visit here several times a day, i may not post as much
as the rest of you but rest assured i will be reading and wishing you well during these hard times
in your life.

over the summer, i hope to completely redesign lightning-strike.com. i also have a very nice
chat room up and running now if anyone has the interest to participate. it has not been released
publicly yet, so let me know and i can get it readied.

welcome again, i hope you find the support you need here

Thank you MD for setting up this new site and for your compassion for suffering humans. As you say the alt.support.grief.pet-loss newsgroup on USENET is now out of order regretably and I hope people find this site. I was happy posting there because that group helped me get over the loss of my last cat (of 3) who was put to sleep at age 19 in Feb 2002. I now want to help others because I fully understand the searing and often unexpected pain people feel. Whilst it is helpful to know what options for euthansia are available before your pet goes downhill, nothing, absolutely nothing can prepare you for the grief afterwards which is why support and understanding is so important.

After nursing my 3 old dears from kittenhood to old age, I am catless for now, but it will be only for a short while I'm sure. I adore all animals and do all I can to help campaigns to stamp out animal cruelty, factory farming for food here in the west, bear bile farming in China, and all the other hidious things people do to them these days. I love animals so much I can't eat them now, though I used to like meat, cheese, milk, and eggs - sigh, and thank goodness for soya products!

I hope I can help others just a little bit. So, hello to everyone who finds this site, and best wishes from Helen (in the UK)

MD - if you knew, truly KNEW, how your site has kept me sane.... I can't even put into words the gratitude I feel. I'm usually not at a loss for words but without this site my heart would have broken completely.

im glad to hear that everyone. when i started this site back in 96, there were very few if any sites
dedicated to pet-loss. ed over at petloss.com, which was a personal website at the time run
by him, and the rainbow bridge, a site that disappeared but soon many others popped up. with
the newsgroup so ravaged, this makes a great place for us to get together

Hi, Everyone,

I'm Jennifer. I am relatively new out here -- found the old forum about a month ago when my dog Freyja died, then two weeks later my cat Saki died.

Seriously, MD. THANK YOU. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! To have this space is such a blessing and you must be an angel to have blessed so many lives...

I am 36 (I think-- stopped counting at 22, but I was born in 1967). I teach sociology at a university. Being the academic type, I am a lot more comfortable with writing than talking... I think my posts are always waaay too long (standard long winded professor...)

I've been posting pretty much everyday since I found the site. Before that I'd never posted anywhere. I hope some day NOT to post EVERY day on this site, but it has helped me so much, the people out here have helped me so much, that I feel like I will probably always have somewhat of a presence out here... Reading posts, even the ones I don't respond to has been helpful to me. And despite the fact that I hate change, the new forum does have some benefits the old one lacked...

I am married to Tim and have been since 1989. We don't have/want kids -- our babies were Freyja the American Eskimo Dog, Saki, the Siamese Cat and Electra the Russian Blue cat. Electra survives at 15 with FIV.
We got Freyja and Electra in 1988 so we effectively started our family before we were married. I tease, but in many ways, this makes the loss even harder.

I think "Tribble" is one of the best cat names I've ever heard.

Anyway, thank you so much for all your hard work MD. You really are an angel...

Love,
Jennifer (Saki & Freyja's Mom)

Hello
My name is Susan Jones and I live in England, I'm 41 years old childless and now dogless. I've been married 21 years next week I've put a stone in weight on since December and am an alcoholic, only kidding, but I have drank excessively since Jude died.
Other than a dog called Suzie we had no pets as children, she was only with us for about a month as we discovered that she didn’t like children, I was about 5 or 6 yrs old.
I remember asking mum for a horse and a monkey for a pet but never a dog or cat, I think I new the answer would be no with six kids I think a pet as well would have driven her mad.
Ians family had a cat called Kiki who just disappeared one day and was never seen again, she was old and her body was never found despite searching the streets to see if shed been run over.
We got a cat, Amber when we first got married she was adorable but the cat next door, who was rescued from the wild, picked on her a lot as she treated our garden as her territory, so eventually she was given to a couple on a farm to hunt down mice, on strict instructions that if it didn’t work out between them, they bring her back to me.
Then came Jude and Sadie two loving dogs that rescued me. I think you know about them.
The birds started out as one Gloucester canary then another to keep him company then the aviary because it wasn’t fair to keep them in a small cage and they kept pooping on my furniture. Hazel was lovely and would fly down and land on the side of my plate when we ate and she always went back in the cage to poop at dinner time.
Then came Ringo the rabbit he was quite a character, if we locked him in his hutch he would cling to the wire and shake it so in the end he had the run of the shed.
I tried to make him into a house rabbit but if I bought him into the house he always hoped straight back out.
There formed my little farm, as people used to say and when the kids were visiting it was never to see Sue and Ian but Jude, Sadie or Ringo.
I work with Ian as his PA believe it or not when I look at my typing sometimes here, but my brain runs way ahead of my fingers when I'm talking on this forum.
Thank god we did have our own business as it enabled me to be with Jude so much those last few months, and if we were busy I just took her in with me. Truth be known if id worked for someone else id probably have left.
Well that’s pretty much me and my life in a nutshell.
What did people do for support before computers? Thank you Marcdavid.

they actually talked face to face

Hi,
My name is Karla, I'm 37 years old , and I too am from Columbus, Ohio (home of the National Championship Buckeyes). I started on the old web-site back in January when I lost the love of my life"Sparky". I got him when I first moved out on my own and 17 years later he died of liver cancer on January 27, 2003. I can't say how hard its been for me and the rest of my family. Almost 6 months of not having him around and I can still barely breath . I own my own mortgage company in Upper Arlington, and love to work out at the local gym. My friends and family have been wonderful thru this whole ordeal. My mother said she would always pray to God asking him not to take Sparky away from me, because she knew how much of a bond we had together. I live with the other love of my life, and we have been together for 18 years and are child-less. Thank God for this web-site, I couldn't tell you how often I would read over other postings and felt like I wasn't alone. If I only had a dollar for every time I would cry reading other postings, knowing how much we all miss our furbaby's. I'd really like to see some kind of real support here in columbus Ohio that really had a hands on approach like this site. Maybe something you could do MD since your here too Thank you again for this forum!

i live in UA too in the 'slums' tho across from arlington cafe. central ohio actually
has a fairly decent pet loss support community, at least it used to with OSU there.

small world.

Hey, MD,

This has been bugging me since I found the site: why is it called "lightning strike" ?

--Jennifer

well according to the main page...



but to be honest, not having much web design skills back then, nor many graphics, i looked through my
small local horde and saw the lightning graphic...then everything just fell into place i guess

Hi MarcDavid,

I am so glad I found this forum. Pet loss, whether from death or giving up the pet, is devestating. I have added this to my favorite websites and will be back often. Thank you for being hee.

Where to begin? I am new to the site, and found it by searching for some comfort after a very difficult couple of days. I adopted a scrawny little tortishell cat from my vet when I was living in Oklahoma. She had been abused and dumped on his lawn. She was so cute, I just had to bring her home. After 2 weeks of searching for a name, I settled on Toonces (the driving cat from Sat Night Live). I'm not sure if she could actually drive, but the name seemed to fit. She kept me company when I moved to Oklahoma, so far from my home of Upper Arlington OH. I moved back home to Columbus in 1994, and my 2 cats came with me. I met and married a wonderful man, who also grew to love my cats. This past Saturday, we were all in the backyard, Toonces rolling on the patio like she always does. I didn't know that would be the last time I'd see her like that. Sunday afternoon she suddenly could not stand and appeared to be blind. We thought maybe she'd had a stroke. I held her most of the night, and about 1am Monday, she died in my arms. The vet said it was probably a heart problem, and she would have had no symptoms until it was too late. I just can't belive she's gone, she was only 10.
I find myself making sure the knife I just used to butter my toast is rinsed off, so she won't lick it. I look for her on our picnic table in the morning sun. My husband and I haven't told Elizabeth, our 3 year old daughter, yet because I can't even think about Toonces without sobbing. I thought we should wait until Elizabeth asks where Toonces is, or I can talk to her without crying.
Any suggestions on how to discuss this with a child so young? Thanks for listening to my story about my little cat. And thanks for this great website.

Hi Jen I'm so sorry to hear about Toonces All of us here have lost our beloved pets one way or another and it’s a painful time, we all agree on one thing and that’s doing little things like making photo albums and little boxes with memorise in help us to heal a little at a time.
Include Elizabeth in your activities and be honest with her when she asks
If you go to the top of this page and click Lightning strike.com support forums, then on the new page click Death and Dying support youll be taken to a new page where there is advise for Grief Management In Children you may find this of some help
http://lightning-strike.com/forum/index.php?act=SF&f=4
If you click on the address above it should take you straight there
There is also a page for Pet Loss and Grieving Aid Stories, which has a bedtime story about Rainbow Bridge for children in it.
As I'm sure you’ve seen we all cope in different ways with our losses, put all of us agreethat posting here has helped enormously just remember that crying helps with the healing.
I'm sorry I didn’t answer you earlier but my computer at work keeps crashing, blasted things.
I lost my dog Sadie in much the same way she kind of crashed to the floor about 3 in the morning and by 9am she took her last breath, that was 7 months ago, a lot of tears, sleepless nights and lots of ‘talking’ on this forum and of course with my husband has got me through the toughest time of my life and I hope it will you too.
Love Sue

Hello fellow animal lovers, my name is Allyson. I am so thankful to find a website like this in existence. It helps to know others out there are feeling the same as me and that I'm not alone when it comes to grieving for the loss of a departed pet. Most people I encounter feel it's silly to grieve so badly for an animal, this makes it all even worse than it already is. So thank you MD for providing this site, as well as the rest of the members who post here.

with love,
Allyson

Hello,

My name is Martin Berry. My wife Dee and I are very happy and releived to have found this site. On November 14 at 11 past 5pm (est) we lost our Brandi to kidney failure...She was 14. The lost has found us in total diseray and the tears just keep coming with seemingly no end in site...the pain is almost more than Dee and I can bare. We received the news from our vet that Monday that she would not live longer than the next two weeks. I can't understand the complexity of this. In one minute she, as best she could, would play with her little brother Brutus and then, like that, she's gone. You try to prepare for this but its all futile in attempt. We were told that she was in the last stages before things would get really bad, losing the ability to eat, loss of bodily functions, and pain that we would not be able to endure. The thought of that last "Car Ride" brought me to the inability to come to grips with the fact of what had to be done. I told Dee that I felt like I was taking on the role of God...to make the decision to end her life; praying the whole time that God would just take her. Why would he not do this? Why, oh why would he do this? They are our children...I can not understand.
As we made our way to that room down the hall, I felt as though I was in a dream. I could wake up at anytime and this would not be happening. I love my wife enough to know that she was feeling the same way. I layed out her favorite blanket all the while I seemed to have left my body and was watching this from across the room...I guess I detatched myself this nighmare. Dr. Lee came in the room; I saw the needle...this wasn't happening, was it? We gathered around her holding her sick body...tears ran like a river. The last thing I remember was that look. The look as if to say why is this happening. I don't want to go; there is so much I'll miss with you. As the needle pierced her skin and the shring went empty...she was gone."Dr Lee" I said "No, can we just bring her back?!" "I want to change my mind sir, I don't want to do this!" There's no going back...it is finished. She is layed to rest under a group of Dogwood trees at my parents. This is where she spent most of her youth running and playing when youth was on her side. Dee placed chimes at the head so that when she would run by we would always be able to her her presents.

Little Brutus...She was all he ever knew. He is taking this harder than we ever would have expected. He will not eat nor play and it is breaking our hearts to see him in such pain. We were told that he would cope a lot better than we would, well that statement comes from folks that just don't understand. I, as well as Dee, fear for the worse for Bruty before things get better...God, oh God I hope that you can put your angels around my family to help in this pain. It will take a long time for this whole in our hearts to mend. I hope to see our Brandi on the other side of the rainbow one day and I know that death will come to our Brutyboy too and that is killing us to know that it will come around again...we'll just keep looking towards the rainbow.

Forgive me for this long entry, we just wanted to share our pain with people that can know what we are going through. Thank you.

Hello Martin and Dee,

It breaks my heart every time I read the stories like yours, we feel so lost and helpless, we cant understand why we had to do it or how we did it.

You weren’t playing God, you loved Brandi and therefore you were the only ones that could make the decision, I know your having doubts now, but at the time it was your heart that decided out of love for Brandi, now its your head that’s working too hard to make sense of it all.

Its taken me a long time and lots of painful thoughts and feelings until finally all I could do was to forgive myself, some would say that I had nothing to forgive but it’s the only way that I can accept the past and move on.

I hope the following will help with understanding what is going on with little Brutus its from one of the topics at the top of the Death and Dying page

DO PETS GRIEVE?

What many people find hard to believe is that animals can form very firm attachments with each other. Even pets that outwardly seem to barely get along will exhibit intense stress reactions when separated. In fact, grieving pets can show many symptoms identical to those experienced by the bereaved pet owner. The surviving pet(s) may become restless, anxious and depressed. There may also be much sighing, along with sleep and eating disturbances. Often, grieving pets will search for their dead companions and crave more attention from their owners.

How can an owner help the grieving pet?

By following the following recommendations:

1. Keep the surviving pet(s) routines as normal as possible.

2. Try not to unintentionally reinforce the behaviour changes.
- if the pet's appetite is picky, don't keep changing the food. All that does is create a more finicky pet.
- don't overdo the attention given to the pet(s) as it can lead to separation anxiety.

3. Allow the surviving animals to work out the new dominance hierarchy themselves.
- there may be scuffles and fights as the animals work out the new pecking order (dogs mostly)

4. Don't get a new pet to help the grieving pet(s) unless the owner is ready.
- will backfire unless the owner is emotionally ready for a new pet.
- people still grieving won't have the energy for it.

Should the owner let the surviving animals see and smell their dead companion?
There is no evidence that doing so will help the surviving pet(s), but some people claim that it does.
Usually, all it accomplishes is to make the owner feel better. Therefore, if the owner wants to have the surviving pets "say good-bye," then it should be allowed.

Dee and Martin,

First let me off you my condolences on your loss. What you wrote brought back some memories of my own and now I find I am sitting here in tears both for your loss and my own. Two months ago I lived what you just went through. I still remember that last car ride and I too told the vet I changed my mind. My Snoops was diagnosed with a brain tumor and I lived through many months wondering what would happen. The thing is like your little one, when the end came it came quickly. I remember feeling like I was playing god ... at one point I even commented that I felt like an executioner. However, I have come to the realization (after many hours of tears and tearing myself apart) that the decision on whether he was staying or going had already been made ... I did not make that decision. The only decision I made was the when and how. I chose to make sure he didn't suffer, wasn't scared, and wasn't alone. I made sure that the last thing he felt in this world was my love and my arms. You made the same decision ... you made sure that your little one went peacefully and knowing that you loved him.

The pain and hurt you are feeling really does lesson a bit over time ... I am a testament to that. The first few weeks I thought I was going crazy. I would sit at work and tears would just come ... but now two months later ... while I still miss him desparately and would give just about anything for one more hug ... the sharp pain has dulled somewhat and I can at times even smile when I think of him. Something I never thought would happen again.

I wish there were words of wisdom I could give you to you through this. Unfortunately, there really isn't anything anyone can say that will make it any easier. Time really is the only healing factor.

Again, my deepest sympathies go out to you during this sad time ...

Beth

Dear Dee and Martin,

My name is Nicole, and I just joined tonight, not knowing the site very well, I didn't know how to do my own original post. I know what you are going through right now. I found my cat Alex, at 4 yrs. old lying on the floor not moving, I immediately rushed him to the vet at 3:00am crying hysterically. My 4yr. old baby had had a heart attack. After about an hour, and not being able to do anything else at the time, my vet gave him some Lasix for the fluid around his heart. I had to leave him, thinking he was doing better, and was going to be back at 7:00am when the office opened. By the time I got home, after praying for God not to take him from me, there was a message on my machine.... Alex had a seizure and passed away. I lost it, kicked a hole in my wall and all. The pain was unbearable for my husband and I both. We just held each other and cried. I turned my attention to my 6-7 month old puppy for some "grief therapy". As someone said earlier, there is nothing anyone can say to ease your pain. I just wanted to express my sympathy and empathy to you. Cherish the time you have with your other baby and remember, animals can't express their thoughts or feelings like we can, but the decision that you had to make was the best thing for him. I'm sure he would not have wanted to go on in such a horrible condition. It has been a year and a half since Alex passed away and I still talk to him sometimes. I have grown so close to my dog and watch over him like a hawk for fear of something happening to him. It helped me to hear your story....I guess that's what this site is for....I just hope you can find some comfort in some of ours.

I am Patti, I am 53 years old and live with my significant other and my other cat, Ruggles in Oregon. Ruggles is an indoor cat and kind of a senior citizen. I don't know how old he is he was "mature" when I got him at a shelter so I am guessing he is upwards of 15.
I lost my much younger cat Ginger in an accident last week. My entire story is posted in the Death and Dying area of this website. Full name "Gingersnap" was a mostly outdoor cat who had learned to stay in our yard like a little gentleman and I brought him in to stay downstairs in my art studio at night. It really was a perfect set up following a few years of him being ridiculously territorial. He used to go into our neighbors yards and hiss at people and fight with other animals (on THEIR property! that made me popular!) luckily our neighbors were always very forgiving and Ginger stopped doing that. I put up with all this largely because no one else would have ever adopted Ginger--he was a stray, a beautiful one, but he was flat out mean to people and other animals. I don't know why but I just made up my mind to treat him with so much kindness that he would see that I loved him and hopefully stop being so mean! It was an experiment in a way. He would hiss and snarl and I would say in a sticky sweet voice (that I am sure made everyone pretty sick) "oh ginnnnnnngggggger, I am your mommie--& mommie lovvvvvvvves you") and I would do this despite real fear! Many times inside I was so afraid of him! He was so scary!! He was a 20 pound cat with huge teeth and sharp claws and he actually did bite me a couple of times (for no reason!!) but I just soldiered on with my "sweet talk"!! I think of it now and I can't believe I did all that. I guess I really knew that there would be a pay off one day--and there was! (well even quite recently he would hiss at the sky sometimes just for good measure). I had heard of something called "aggression/affection disorder" and I would always explain his behavior to others by citing that--"oh sorry he is hissing ....he has aggression/affection disorder!!" and that seemed to satisfy most.
oh heck, you know I think I wrote all this before---I just keep writing it because it is therapy to write it out, I guess.
Having Ginger in my life made me feel so unique. I felt like I "tamed" him with no other tool than love. In the beginning I only pretended to love him to try to win him over. In the end I really sincerely loved him with all my heart. He had won me over. Maybe I was the subject of the experiment, not the other way around.
Thanks so much for this website md. What a kind man you must be.

Hi MD and everyone else. MD - I join the others in saying a huge thank you for this site. I lost my Arnold only 3 days ago and the pain has been so intense . . . but being able to talk with others and share stories has already helped. And I go home and share what I read with David, trying to help him heal each day as I know he will not take part in a support group of any sort. This particular posting area, the Cybershoulder Room - is a good idea. It gives us a chance to get to know each other a little more personally and perhaps talk about other things than our loss - because you know, that's important too. We all need to make sure we have other things in our life than just our grief.

I'm amazed at how many of you are from Columbus, OH and/or surrounding areas. My son is a Junior at the Columbus College of Art and Design out there. I've been there only once - to take him to the school for registration. I had planned on visiting this month but the vet and animal hospital bills from this past weekend kind of ate up what I would have spent on making the trip.

I'm Nanci, and I live in Wisconsin. I am 51 and manage a small I.T. Department. Since I spend a good part of my day writing computer code, I also have access to the web so can sneak out here when I'm feeling a really bad bout of pain coming on. I love to garden and play tennis in the summer; in the winter I play racquetball several times a week. I have also gotten into scrapbooking this past year and, when I'm able to actually look at all the pictures of my Arnold I will scrapbook them into a memory book. I live with my significant other (aka David, or S.O.). We are both divorced and have 4 children between us. We plan to marry some day but right now finances are getting in the way. All of our children are off to college so Arnold was really our last little one at home.

I look forward to getting to know you all, both in the loss forum and here.

welcome nanci, i am glad this site has been comforting for you, it can be such a great resource to "let it all out."

I just wanted to thank you for having this site. I just wish I knew about 2 years ago when my dog died, it would have been really helpful. I was really upset when she died, she was too young and it could have been prevented. She used to get out of the yard and go for walks and the guy across the road kept putting out snail bait. She'd eaten boxes of it before and survived but this time her heart just gave up If we'd tied her up earlier she wouldn't have gotten out and eaten the box of snail bait. I know it sounds bad to say we tied her up but it was the only way she'd stay in the yard, she dug under the fence all the time. So my neighbour killed her and we couldn't do anything about it cos we didn't have proof or something. We know it was him because they're the only one's in the neighbourhood who don't have dogs, and he also hates dogs. Mum rang the RSPCA and the Council and there was nothing that could be done.

I'm 19, in Australia. She died 2 days before my 17th birthday and the day before my year 12 exams started. I hate my neighbour for what he did to her.

I'm gonna add this to my favourites It'll be good to be around people who love their pets as much as I do.

yes, this is the best way to get help to people...help spread the word whenever you know someone in need. welcome to the site

Dear MD,

Thank you so much for having such a wonderful website. LS has been an answer to my prayers. For the last 6 weeks I've just been going crazy trying to stifle the grief I've been feeling over my lost baby, Shiloh. I thought I was the only person that was having such a difficult time dealing with my pet's passing. It's been nice having a place to share my emotions, my sadness, my stories...my loss with wonderful, kind people that are experiencing the same thing I'm experiencing.
Again, thank you.
Kathleen

i agree kathleen, why stifle when you can talk to others who feel the same way. im glad this resource is
available to everyone, wasnt much around when i lost tribble 8 years ago (then again, the web was still
kinda new too). welcome to the site and sorry to hear about Shiloh.

Hey MD and all the other furbaby parents,
My name is April, I've been surfing this site ever since I lost my 12 year old cat Bronte on October 30th. This site keeps me sane and lovingly connected to other mourners when I'm not at work. I live in San Diego and I'm a paramedic. Go figure I can spot and treat human ailments from a mile away, but couldn't tell my baby was sick. I feel for each and every one of you, and thank-you MD for a site that I can cry and help support others. It gets a little trying I suppose for friends and family who may not relate to grief of animal loss on this level. My roomate actually said that death of a pet is not like death of a parent, but more like losing your favorite pair of shoes...You really are bummed when you notice that there not in your closet.... Suffice is to say, I restrained the urge to throttle her on the spot. She was attempting to be understanding, I think. Anyways, thanks for all you support and advice. Big hugs, April

welcome to the site April! glad you found us, but wish you didnt need to. over the years i have discovered at least one thing about pet loss: either you feel strongly about the passing of an animal or you dont. those who come here do feel strongly, and it makes the site and the support if offers strong as a result.

Hi, everyone!

My name is Jan and I live in a suburb of Atlanta. I found LS in early May, after the completely unexpected and devastating loss of my sweet lab girl, Phoenix. And, I am so grateful I found this site!

My husband and I have 6 other dogs (we used to be a foster home). We had a total of 9 dogs of our own to begin with - 3 have gone to God.

Mike and I have been married almost 20 years (next May) - we're human childless, but have plenty of canine love.

I'm an administrative assistant ( who is currently unemployed due to being laid off b/c the company I was with is going under). So, I'm actually enjoying spending the extra time with my babies right now.

Dear MD,

My thanks, also for this wonderful site. It has been a lifesaver for me after the loss of my precious Rusty. I feel so fortunate to have happened upon LS and to have "met" all of its caring members. Thank YOU for caring so much about animals and the people who love them.

Lynn

the forums have been quite busy the last few months, both a blessing and a curse i suppose. i am glad people find LS of use in their time of need though.

Hello all.
I too am grateful to have found LS. (MD, I would have never survived without it!)
I was so distraught after losing my little Australian Terrier, Indy on Dec. 28, 2004. I thought my level of grief was abnormal and many didn't understand my pain. My prayers were answered when I found the site.
The kindness of others have helped me through some very tough days.
Thank you MD, and all LS members.
Fran

Hello all!!
I'm so glad I found this site. My name is Terri and I live in Ohio. I have six rescued dogs, six cats and two ##atiels. All of my dogs are older. Four of the six have serious health problems and I know I'm facing some tough decisions in the future. My animals are my babies, as I'm sure is true for so many of you. I can't imagine what I'm going to do without them and how I'm going to deal with that pain. I've lost animals in the past and it's brought me to my knees. The stories and support I've read on these forums gives me hope that I'm not alone. It's so reassuring to know there are others out there who love their furbabies as much as I do.

Hi Everyone!

My name is Avril, and I have lived in Norwich, UK since May 2003 when I moved from South Africa with my 3 very special cats, Shanti, Austin and Little Patch. I am a very young 50 year old, my wonderful husband died very suddenly 15 years ago, and my cats are my world!

I came across this amazing site the other evening when I was sitting here feeling so very alone, and anticipating the fact that I was about to lose my beloved Shanti. My very special and beautiful girl had been ill for many months, and to this day we have no idea of just what was wrong. She was only 10 years old, but this awful cruel disease ravaged both her beautiful body and phenomenal mind. From the start, early last year, things seemed to steadily snowball, and I did absolutely everything I could to try to help her. It has horrified me to watch her steady decline this week, in particular, and when she was finally put to sleep Friday lunch time it was with a sense of excruciating pain but deep relief that she was set free, at last!

I am devastated to have lost such a very special little girl, who has played such an important role in my life for almost 9 years. I am a passionate animal lover and have lost many very dear pets in the past. Somehow this time it is so much more painful, and I am completely devastated. I know I will heal with time, but right now my entire being is wracked with the pain of having lost Shanti. In the end she had lost all dignity, and I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that I gave her the Greatest Gift I could have when she was put to sleep yesterday.

I am completely heartbroken, but I do still have two extremely special furbabies. They also need extra love at this time, and I will give them both the care they so richly deserve.

I am so grateful to those here who have been so kind and supportive to me, and I will be sticking around here for a long time. It is wonderful to be able to support each other as we grieve for our dearly loved pets that have departed from this world

It is just a little over 24 hours since my beloved Shanti died. I am totally broken hearted, but I am consoled to know that her bright, beautiful spirit is free at last, and that this cruel, unknown disease that ravaged her body and her mind can no longer have any control over her.

I will take her ashes back to South Africa next time I go, and scatter them on a hillside overlooking Grahamstown, her home, where I scattered my beloved husband's ashes all those many years ago

RIP my angel ... you are free now and your suffering if over at last my precious girl!

Huge applauds to the genious of Lightning Strike!

The awesome memory of your "dear friend", Tribble.........lives on by your special tribute........creating this remarkable support site for those who love and lost their
signifcant other...........as myself, with the passing of my child like pomeranian, Esabella.

I am not into surfing the web, but was driven to be somewhere during those depressive, dark days...........Finding Lightning Strike was my life support site. I spent endless hours day and night reading, writing and listening to people like myself who were lost, lonely, sad and depressed. Being here with this group is like having another family..............they truly give from their hearts with their caring support.

My friends call me Ellie May....saying I should have been a veterinarian.......instead of a nurse because of the love I have for animals and it is so true. I have had a great life with my cats and dogs over the years. I use to raise pomeranians. I still have Coco who is going to be sixteen years old in November. She had twenty two puppies over the years and Esabella came from the mother, Anastashia in the first litter. Because I was a traveling nurse, I had to narrow my family down to Coco and Esabella.

Last Thanksgiving, we were driving to the Carolina's when Esabella went into respiratory arrest. She passed away at the animal hospital after the wonderful doctor's worked endlessly for eight hours to save her life. I held in her in my arms as she left this world on November 23, 2004.

It has been and still is painful each day in missing her with all my heart. But, I am stronger now. I really don't know how I would have been............without being here.

Thank you..........MD and everyone who give much more than you can ever imagine as we share our love, sadness and joy..................together.

Litebrez.............in Florida

LMYE

Thank you for setting up this site. Since joining I have posted two topics on the site in memory of my mini schnauzer, Bo. It has helped just to be able to write things about my love for him that I wanted others, even strangers, to know.
He was such a good boy....
and I will miss him so.
Your comrade in sorrow..........................

welcome to everybody ive missed since the last time i said hello. getting married in june to a wonderful lady and we are way behind in everything, so
time is sparse at best. hope y'all find comfort here, i am glad to have provided the source for you to heal.

*bump* for the newest members since i last posted (over a month ago). glad you found LS, hope all of us can be of help to you!

Hi My name is Levona,
My friend was surfing the web last sunday and she ran across this site and showed it to me. I haven't felt like looking into it until today. Last Saturday I lost my baby Blackie. I have gone through the motions of life but inside I feel empty. Blackie was a black and tan silver dapple Doxie. She was on of the babies of my other two Doxies. Blackie was first born. Wilma was so young I was afraid she wouldn't know what to do but she did and finally I held the precious little squirming baby in the palm of my hand and I was hooked. We ended up adopting out the 2 little boys to good families (that was hard) but we had to keep the little girls. Blackie was always a little "fraidy cat" but she was bigger than her Momma and her sister. She was so funny. My Doxie's are my children. My husband and I don't have any children by choice. I teach school and now have my mom living with me. That's enough people to take care of for me. Two weeks ago on Sunday morn. Blackie some how hurt her back. She started dragging her hind legs. We took her to the vet and he said she had ruptured a disc in her back. If she made it she would never walk again. I was devistated. We decided to take her home and see what we could do for her. We contacted people that make doggie carts for dogs with this problem. They had good advice for us. By Thursday she was looking stronger and had less pain. By Friday evening though she started going down hill. She had got weaker and weaker and quit eating and drinking and she died Saturday April 23rd at 6:15pm. I have been crying off and on since. My family is not real supportive. They like animals but think they are just animals. My friends understand more. It is just so hard right now for me. This is not the first Doxie baby I lost either. My very first Doxie was Rufus. He was also a black and tan silver dapple. He was hit and run by my neighbors teenage kids on purpose. They had to come across the road to hit him. That was 5 years ago. This new death is just jaring the old one open also. I just need a place to talk about my feelings and this seems like a good place for it

Hi Levona!
Welcome to LS. This is a great place and I know for myself I have found great comfort here.
Please tell us more about Blackie in the Death & Dying support section. I am so sorry for your loss and share your pain and grieving.
Audrey

Hi Levona:

I am sorry over the loss of your precious furbaby, Blackie.

If you would like, I could move your whole post over to the "Death and Dying" site, as Audrey suggested.

It is the most "alive" part of Lightning-Strike, and there you will receive much comfort and support.....

Please, let me know by PM'ing me or E-mailing me.
I'll be happy to do it right away...

God Bless!

Denise

Hello, my name is Karen and I've only just found this site this morning. One of my cats, Rosebud, is dying and reading all your posts has made me feel a bit better. I've been down this road three times before, with other wonderful cats I've shared my life with over the years, and can truly understand. Thanks for this great site.


Sweet Little Rosebud's Mom in New Jersey.

Hi MD
I'm new to LS and like everyone else, so very, very grateful to you for its existence. This is helping me through my darkest hours in a way that nothing else can and as my 'friends' don't seem to want to talk about my grief and loss I am so very glad to have found a forum to share my thoughts with kindred spirits, and what lovely kindred spirits they all seem to be. I am so sad that the thing that unites us all is our profound loss!
Anyway, I will get around to introducing myself properly in due course and to putting a proper and fitting tribute to my beautiful little Ryddley-girl on LS. but as you are so used to people unburdeing themselves with their loss and grief I just wanted to say thank you and a very big congratulations on your happy news: your wedding. Hope little Tribble was watching as you exchanged your vows! I wish you everything of the best in your new life together and I wish you happy house-hunting. You provide such a valuable service to the animal-loving community and I just want you to know, (although surely you do) that we are all very grateful and wish you so much happiness in your new love and life. You deserve every happiness and joy.
Thanks again
B

Hi MD,

I am glad I stumbled across your site. I have read so many things and looked at so many sites, but none set up as well as this one. And easy to use! I am also glad to read so many varying posts and that everyone is supportive and never tacky.

My name is Crystal. I am 33 years old. I am a police officer. No husband or kids. I have one dog living, Barney, a stray chihuahua, that wandered up to my dad's place about 4 years ago. I had to put Opie to sleep one week and one day ago. He was a 13 year old ##er-poodle mix. I picked him at the local shelter 11 years ago when I went dog-shopping because he was so dirty and messy that I was afraid no one else would choose him and he would be euthanized. I am so glad I did! He has been such a friend to me. We have played in the sprinkler, gone jogging, watched TV, grilled out, slept in on Sundays. All sorts of fun! He watched over me every night while I slept and barked at every noise he heard, just to let me know he was keeping an eye out. I cried into his fur when my Memaw died a few years ago. I cried into his fur when I didn't pass my first physical test for the police department. I ran a boyfriend off when he got mad at Opie for shedding on his nice black shirt (thus forever earning himself the nickname "Opie-hater-guy" from my friends and I). Opie was always at the gate or the door watching for me when I got home from work and school. He took care of Barney like a mother hen, always grooming him and snuggling with him. Opie was diagnosed with an enlarged heart and cancer in the same visit to the vet a few weeks ago. The vet gave me medicines for him. He refused to eat. I tried everything. I eventually alternated grilling hamburger meat, chicken, and steak just to get him to nibble a few bites. I tried not to give him human food often, but the vet advised at this point, give him anything he will eat. He went down hill so quickly. Two weeks was all it took to loose my buddy. It was just one month ago I laughed at the kitchen window watching him and Barney chase squirrels around the tree.

I appreciate you giving me someone to share my memories, good and bad, with. I appreciate that I can ramble on and on about how hard this is and that it falls on understanding ears (well, technically, eyes). I hope to share something that will make someone in pain smile or feel just a little better as some of your posts and stories have done for me.
Thanks.

hi my name is sheri my sons cat six died the other day. we dont know how it happened, he snuck out of the house and so did my other cat ducktape i think ducktape saw what happened because she seens depressed. on tuesday morning my son called me and oke me up and said my cat is dead. i didnt belive him at first then he said go out side and look so i did and it was true six was lying in the noigbors driveway i think he ate some posion grass or something. all i know is it is devastating he was only 1 yr i think i am taking it harder than my son who is 18. i just need some support. i also have a question ducktape hissed at six all the time but i know she loved him do think she is sad about what happened?

Hey Sheri; Oh honey, I am so sorry about your loss! I have no doubt at all that you are feeling terribly sad. I wanted you to know that I am also certain that yes, Ducktape (great name by the way) is absolutely grieving in her own way. Sure, there was hissing is the past....don't all siblings have disagreements sometimes? Our family had to release our dear 17 year old corgi/border collie cross Stumpy, from his infirmities and pain just a week ago. For a few days before the end, one of our cats, Kaylen, who has always been Stumpy's pal, began licking Stumpy's face and ears, cleaning and/or kissing him. Taking care of his sick friend in his way really. The morning after Stumpy's death K-Cat (as we usually call him) went directly over to Stumpy's favourite spot and threw up. Gross I know, but I told myself then, and believe it still, K-Cat was just sick over his own loss. He's just now, 8 days later, beginning to come around to being his old self; less apathetic, less grumpy. Gosh Sheri, I hope this helps a little.
Don't let yourself start feeling guilty over Six's death either. Six was well aware that you loved him, and would never have been responsible for what occured.
What is helping me immensely in my grief journey is the following thought: Stumpy was right there for me all those years when I cried or just felt down. He worked hard to cheer me, never letting up until I did feel better. He's doing the same thing now from Heaven. Am I going to let him work so hard in vain? Nope. I WILL get beyond the pain and smile rather than cry when I recall his life.
God bless you.
Lauree, Stumpy's Mamma

I know I'm a bit late here, but here goes...

My name is Keely, and I'm 17, living in the US.
I love acting and dancing and singing in Broadway shows, and I love going to Operas, Ballets, and Musicals.
I also try to model, with a new job coming up ( its very local...) But I don't care for the lifestyle. I'd reather sit and home with my kitties and my doggie.
I'm 90% Irish and the rest is Dutch and German and I love animals. My pets are my life to me, so Midnight is a real heartbreak.
I love studying and teaching myself languages. Right now I speak fluent nationality, a splatter of German, and some Italian, French and Spanish.
I have a twin sister ( Midnight's girl) And we're fraternal twins. We look nothing alike.
We'll both be seniors at our Catholic high school this fall.

I have 3 Kitties- Dinah (10 years), my baby, she's fluffy and black and white with a pink nose ( she's getting chubby!) My sister got her at.. a garage sale!!!! She's my Garage sale baby!
Midnight (12 years) - a black, beautiful, good tempered gentle short haired cat with eyes of gold and a heart to match I found her at the animal shelter when I was 5 while we were looking for our other cat who died from poisoning about a few days later... she was my special miracle. She's currently dying or liver cancer
Trixie(1)- Our new kitten. She's blackm small, fluffy, and chubby with huge round auburn eyes and a playfullness about her - we just got her from Middy's shelter. She's such a character, but a blessing nontheless
Nikki(13)- The nicest old Golden Retreiver ever... she's the most loyal caring dog since my old dog Poco....Got her from some people who abused her..we put a stop to that!


That was my intro. I hope this helped people learn a little about me.

Hi everyone. My name is Shari and I'm 18 years old. I lost my beautiful cat Chester just three days ago...

He loved the outdoors, so we frequently let him out. He loved rolling around on the grass outside. Only one night, Chester didn't come back in. The next morning we saw that he had somehow made it around the corner of our block and was hit by a car. This loss has been so unbelievably hard to deal with. Chester was my first pet and everyone in my home grew to love him. (Even my sister who is NOT an animal person at all.)

I can't seem to get him off of my mind. When I come home I still expect him to run to me and brush against my legs. I find it strange to actually sleep without Chester waking me in the middle of the night. I don't understand why this had to happen... I miss him so much! I'm glad this site is here. It's comforting to know that there are others who loved their pets as much as we loved Chester.

Hi,
I'm Shauna, 25, and a nursing student. I first found this website in 2000 when my 2 year old siamese cat was hit by a car. In 2005 my second cat, also siamese was struck by a car at 14 months of age. I tried to keep my second cat inside, having learned the heartbreaking consequences from my first cat, yet family members were non-compliant. And so, I reunited with lightning strike after tradgedy struck again. Anyhow, I wanted to say thanks to MD and Tribble for starting this website. It's nice to have pet-grief validated and find shoulders to lean on. Thanks, Again!

your welcome. happy you found the site, sad you had to find it.