Three Months Ago Today, I still miss Dixie just as much as day one. Options

[Kristina]

Today seems to be an appropriate day to start a memorial thread for my Dixie. It has been three months since we lost her, and my life will never be the same. I miss her every second of every day. The ache in my heart refuses to go away. On the outside I seem like I am fine and going on with my life, but on the inside I am a mess.

Dixie,

Mama loves you so much. I cannot believe it has been three months since I saw your face. Our whole family mourned you. Macy had a very hard time adjusting to life without you. She spent so much time looking everywhere for you. Dad misses you very much, but he doesn't show it like Mom does. The memorial service the doggy funeral home put on was very nice. I hope you liked it. I know you do not want me to be sad, but it is so hard not to be. You gave me 10 fantastic years, and to go from having you here to you being gone is a very hard transition for me to make. I hope you like how I set your cremains up, with your collar and other things on the shelf with them.

I am glad that you sent Lily to us. Sometimes looking at her makes me sad though, because she looks so much like you. I know you sent me that sign the day we got her. You always did what mom asked of you, even in your death.

I miss you breathing heavy in my face when you had to go outside, and never moving out of the way of the toilet when someone had to go to the bathroom. I miss our time when I would get down on the floor with you and you would throw yourself back in to my lap and lick me like crazy.

I know you are watching over your Dad and I. I like to think you are laying in the living room at night, when Lily suddenly stands up on the bed and starts staring and barking at something that I cannot see. I know you know that I miss you, but I hope you are having fun playing until Mom and Dad can be with you again. Macy will be there before us, and when she does eventually get there the two of you can play all day while you wait for us.

I love you puppy. I can't wait to see you again.

All my love
Mom

[Kristina]

It's after midnight now. Today marks 4 months without you. It seems so surreal. I remember looking forward to your birthday every year, because each birthday meant another year we had together. Now as the end of each month rolls around it just marks more time that we are apart. Mom misses you so much. I am glad that the deep grief seems to have finally left, and I am able to function and talk about you without crying, but the hurt is never going to go away. Anytime I see a lab that looks like you I feel so sad for a few minutes. When I see your friends having birthdays and turning 12, 13, 14 even, it makes me sad because I feel you were taken from us too soon. I know 10 is a great age for a Labrador, but I really thought we would have had a few more years with you.

My words are short tonight because your Dad and I are about to go to bed. Mama really likes her new job. Thank you for making it happen for me. I love you puppy. My love for you grows every day, and will never fade.


Goodbyes are not forever.
Goodbyes are not the end.
They simply mean I'll miss you
Until we meet again.


Love,
Mama