Today seems to be an appropriate day to start a memorial thread for my Dixie. It has been three months since we lost her, and my life will never be the same. I miss her every second of every day. The ache in my heart refuses to go away. On the outside I seem like I am fine and going on with my life, but on the inside I am a mess.

Dixie,

Mama loves you so much. I cannot believe it has been three months since I saw your face. Our whole family mourned you. Macy had a very hard time adjusting to life without you. She spent so much time looking everywhere for you. Dad misses you very much, but he doesn't show it like Mom does. The memorial service the doggy funeral home put on was very nice. I hope you liked it. I know you do not want me to be sad, but it is so hard not to be. You gave me 10 fantastic years, and to go from having you here to you being gone is a very hard transition for me to make. I hope you like how I set your cremains up, with your collar and other things on the shelf with them.

I am glad that you sent Lily to us. Sometimes looking at her makes me sad though, because she looks so much like you. I know you sent me that sign the day we got her. You always did what mom asked of you, even in your death.

I miss you breathing heavy in my face when you had to go outside, and never moving out of the way of the toilet when someone had to go to the bathroom. I miss our time when I would get down on the floor with you and you would throw yourself back in to my lap and lick me like crazy.

I know you are watching over your Dad and I. I like to think you are laying in the living room at night, when Lily suddenly stands up on the bed and starts staring and barking at something that I cannot see. I know you know that I miss you, but I hope you are having fun playing until Mom and Dad can be with you again. Macy will be there before us, and when she does eventually get there the two of you can play all day while you wait for us.

I love you puppy. I can't wait to see you again.

All my love
Mom

Dear Kristina,

Words that come only from a mother's love and heart! Thank you for sharing your love letter to Dixie! What a beautiful girl she is. And I want to offer my sincere sympathy on your earthly loss of her.

Every word echoes my thoughts of my Trevor, who died 10 weeks ago today.

My words are short, right now, but my gratitude to you is endless!

Good Night Trevor, Gretta and Dixie!

Bobbie

Dear Kristina, Miss Dixie is joined with you forever - she will never leave you, yours and Lily's sense that she is with you is right there, spot on, the bonds you forged will never be broken. I know how much it aches to know we will not stroke our friends, or look into their eyes again, but I hope knowing your girl lives in you now, and feeling her there in you, brings you some comfort, sending you some really big hugs, leejaye

Dear Kristina....Thank you for sharing your beautiful letter to Dixie. Time goes by so fast sometimes and it seems like our babies have been gone forever. Then other times it seems like only yesterday, they left us.......I hope you are having some peaceful days and yes, angel Dixie is watching over you and family.......Hugs..

LoveMyMickey

Hi, Kristina, adding my sincerest thank you for sharing your heart-filled love letter to your beloved Dixie with us. Love is eternal - - and the love bond you share with your beloved Dixie continues on now just as it always has. The transition adjustment journey in not having their precious physical presence with us is indeed a very difficult one. Your heart will always be your beloved Dixie's throne of honor as a testament to the love you share.

I hope today is being kind to you, and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Dixie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort and cheer you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and always look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you Bobbie, leejaye, LoveMyMickey and moonbeam for your kind and supportive words about my note to Dixie. This grief thing is new to me, and I am going about it the best way I see possible. The 3 month mark was very hard for me. In fact that night when I was laying in bed with Aj already asleep and Lily, Macy and Kitty all passed out in the bed with us, I was crying and being so sad. I talk to her in my head all the time. Anyway the poem "Last Night" was running through my head. You know the one, "I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peek, I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep..." Well as I was laying here I heard a huge thump from the bathroom and I just smiled. It sounded exactly like her laying down against the tub. I heard it again last night as well. Also sometimes I feel this presence next to me on my side of the bed. Sometimes it is really strong and other times not so much. The night I was crying I felt it stronger than ever before. I swore that when I sat up to look I would see her there. Of course I didn't but that is what it felt like.

Lily still constantly barks at something unseen in the living room when we are in bed. Pretty much in exactly the spot where I could always see Dixie when I was sitting on our bed with my laptop. I know she is still here, I just can't see her.

I do still have moments where I forget she is gone. And I go looking for her, or panic because I think I forgot to feed her or give her her shot of insulin.

Another surprising thing is that Lily has not bothered the bookcase where I have her urn with cremains and some of her toys, collar, leash, and other things. I figured the first chance she got she would make a beeline for Dixie's things. She goes over and sniffs at it every now and then, but never bothers anything. The first day we brought her home I took her to Dixie's shelf and showed her pictures and told her all about Dixie. But of course she already knew about her, since Dixie sent Lily to us.

One thing I know is I will never ever stop missing my girl. She gave me 10 amazing years, and I can only hope she knows how very much she was and still is loved.

Thank you my friends. For checking in on me, and just for being there. It means more to me than you can ever know.

All my love.

Hi, Kristina, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am so o o thrilled you find Dixie's sweet Living Spirit a comfort to you. And how so very, very special that your little Lily shows respect for her sister's memorials. She knows she is a "special girl" with very big pawprints to follow in.

I hope today is being kind to you, Kristina, and will have a very peaceful weekend. Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Dixie with us, Kristina. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and always look forward to sharing your news whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi puppy

This will be a short note, as you know mama had surgery again yesterday. I know you were there with me, and I know you know that I woke up in the recovery room crying about you. It is still hard to come home after surgery and you not be here. You were always here for all the other ones.

Lily has taken to laying in your spot in the bathroom. It made me sad at first but now it is more comforting and I can look in there and smile at her. I am sure you let her know it was ok to lay in your spots.

I still miss you all the time. And think about you all the time. I love you pup.

Love
Mama

Hi, Kristina, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and the beautiful love letter you wrote to your beloved Dixie. I hope your current recovery from surgery will go smoothly. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Kristina, and that your beloved Dixie is watching over you in a loving vigil letting you know she is with you at all times and in all circumstances.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Kristina,

I love your sweet letter to Dixie. I know she meant so much to you and it is so hard without our girls. I like how you said Dixie sent Lily to you. I like to think that about Cinder and the babies as well. I feel like I have been holding a lot of things in with life being so busy lately. I need to get on here and write some. I also find myself smiling more now when I think of Cinder, but the pain is still there. I know our girls are having the best time and sometimes I can't wait until the day we get to join them again. But until then, they're always in our hearts. Always thinking of you!

Much love.

Cinder's Mama

Well puppy

We have almost reached the 4 month mark. Just one more week. How can that possibly be? How can it have been so long since you left us? Mom is finally starting to feel more normal, but I still miss you all of the time.

Mama starts her new job tomorrow. I know you will be watching over me to make sure everything goes ok. Your dad and I need this very badly, so could you put in a good word with the big guy for us? I know that you are responsible for making sure good things happen to us.

I was wondering something the other day. Was your birth mom there waiting for you? Any of your siblings? I bet they were happy to see you and will keep you company until Mom and Dad can come be with you. Make sure you tell your birth mom how happy I was to bring you home with me the day I got you, and how wonderful your life was. I hope their lives were as good as yours was.

That's about all I can handle for now puppy. Mom is missing you something awful today, as I do every day.

I love you.

Hi, Kristina, thank you so very much for sharing your heart-filled love letter to your beloved Dixie with us, and for sharing with us how you're doing. Please know that your transition to "starting to feel more normal" is a natural process in this grief journey - - and it is one that your beloved Dixie wants for you - - because as your deep grief eases this allows your heart to be filled with the warmth of your treasured memories of your earthly journey with your beloved Dixie - - and this is a good thing.

I wish you the very best in your new job, Kristina. What will you be doing, if I may ask. I hope this job will be what you and your husband need.

I hope today is being kind to you, Kristina. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and always look forward to sharing how things are going for you, and your treasured memories of your beloved Dixie.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi moonbeam

Thank you for checking in. I really hope I can get to the point where I can come here to offer support to others. Sometimes it is just so hard to read all the stories of loss. To know that others are hurting just as much as I am.

My new job is working for Amazon! I actually get to work from home which to me is the greatest thing ever. Yesterday was my orientation and picking up equipment day, and from now on I just walk two feet, sit down, and go to work! From everything I heard and saw yesterday I think I am really going to love this job. They seem like an incredible company to work for. I am so very blessed to have gotten this lucky in landing this job. And to think I passed it up several times before I applied, thinking it was a scam or too good to be true. They told us yesterday that over 1,500 people applied, and they hired less than 100. And it's permanent, full time work with so many advancement opportunities.

I had to quit going to school for a bit, but I am ok with it. Aj didn't want me to quit, but we need to get our debt under control, and I would really love to have a house eventually. I again feel very lucky that I was able to land a job so quickly in this economy. I haven't worked for over 2 years since I have been in school, so I figured it would take me a very long time to get hired somewhere. I applied back in mid September and they contacted me a day late. I did a pre employment test, had two interviews and filled out a form for my background check all within a week. Then I didn't hear from them for just over two weeks so I figured they didn't want to hire me. A few days later I had been in the shower, and I got out and checked my phone and they had called to offer me the job! I was so excited! I was actually supposed to start last Friday but the Monday of that same week I had another surgery so I talked to them to see what they wanted to do and they said just to push my start date back by a week as not to run the risk of hurting myself. Again a really great company.

And on that note I have 2 dogs looking at me to take them outside. I hope you are well my friend.

Hi, Kristina, thank you so much for sharing with us about your job and how things are going. Grieving takes a lot of energy, and when there are other concerns to contend with - - such as financial stability - - your mind and body can only handle so much stress. We're always glad to share your news, and thank you for the blessing of your warmth and compassion to be here for - - and with - - all of us whenever possible.

I'm so glad about your new job, and doubly so very glad that Amazon gave you a week's extension so that you could recover from your surgery. This sounds like a PERFECT job, - - for now - - and hope that you will eventually be able to resume your studies - - if that is what you would want to do at that time. I am so happy for you that this job came along for you when it did, and I wish you the very best in it. Working from home sounds soo o o wonderful.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Kristina. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and always look forward to knowing how things are going for you whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

It's after midnight now. Today marks 4 months without you. It seems so surreal. I remember looking forward to your birthday every year, because each birthday meant another year we had together. Now as the end of each month rolls around it just marks more time that we are apart. Mom misses you so much. I am glad that the deep grief seems to have finally left, and I am able to function and talk about you without crying, but the hurt is never going to go away. Anytime I see a lab that looks like you I feel so sad for a few minutes. When I see your friends having birthdays and turning 12, 13, 14 even, it makes me sad because I feel you were taken from us too soon. I know 10 is a great age for a Labrador, but I really thought we would have had a few more years with you.

My words are short tonight because your Dad and I are about to go to bed. Mama really likes her new job. Thank you for making it happen for me. I love you puppy. My love for you grows every day, and will never fade.


Goodbyes are not forever.
Goodbyes are not the end.
They simply mean I'll miss you
Until we meet again.


Love,
Mama

Hi Kristina,

What a touching note to your precious, Dixie.



This thought used to upset me, too. But over time instead of thinking of each day as another day we've been apart, I started to think of it as another day closer to when we'll be together again. I truly believe that we will be reunited with them one day. I'm not a religious person, but I believe in love, and I believe that it defies the boundaries of time and space. I hope this thought offers you some comfort.

Wishing you a peaceful day.

Cheryl x

Thank you Cheryl for your kind and comforting words. I hope things are going well for you as well my friend.

I have been pretty sad the past few days, just missing her terribly. Two out of our three leashes broke in the same day, so I decided to get Dixie's leash off the shelf and use it temporarily. I used it once on Lily, and I got so upset I had to put it right back on the shelf. Then that night I had a dream about her, and pretty much every night since. My heart really hurts, and I miss her more than anything.

Life wise things are going well. I am in my last week of training for my new job and I really like it, although they do give a ton of information in a short amount of time which leaves me feeling exhausted and zombieish a majority of the time. I am sure that will get easier as I get more comfortable in my position. Being able to be at home is really great, but I now have to work at getting out of the house.

We are just about to have a very late dinner, then bed will be not far behind. I hope everyone is doing well. All my love.

Thursday marked the 5 month mark without you. I cannot believe that we are quickly coming up on the half year mark. It seems so surreal to me sometimes.

Your Dad and I went to the inlaws for Thanksgiving. I got incredibly sad, because the last time we were there, you were with us. You slept in the very bed that we slept in, you ran up and down the stairs with me. It was almost too much to handle. Dad and I talked about you alot.

I don't know what else to say. Everything has been said and thought a million times before. Lily is growing up so beautifully, and she looks exactly like you. At times I truly believe that you have come back to me as her. The similarities are just amazing. Both physical and personality wise. And I know you were not the typical lab, and neither is she. What are the odds of getting two that love/hate the exact same things? The water being the main one. Most labs love the water. You hated it. So does she. Plus the fact that she has snow white hairs in the exact same places that you had yours as you got older. There was a reason that you led us to her, and vice versa.

Mom is incredibly emotional over you lately. More than normal. Maybe it has to do with the holidays and these being the first without you. I missed giving you your fill of turkey on Thanksgiving, and I am going to miss seeing you tear into your presents on Christmas morning, and digging your nose into your stocking. I have to force myself not to think about these things too much, or else my heart aches more than ever.

I love you Dixie. You were a great dog, and I never want you to forget that. I could not have asked for a dog that was better than you. You were one of a kind, my number one girl. Always remember that.

Hi, Kristina,

Thanks for letting us know how you're getting on, and for sharing with us your touching love note to your precious Dixie. I haven't had much time to visit here lately -- uni assignments take up most of my time -- but when I do, it's nice to see familiar names and catch-up.

I'm sorry you're still hurting so much, but that's perfectly normal. It took me a good year before that nagging ache eased. The holidays are so hard, but you'll get through them! Everyone on this forum will be right there with you!

I'm afraid I haven't got much time to write, but I just wanted to stop by and say hello, and let you know that I'm thinking of you. I'm glad Lily is doing well -- would love to see a recent picture of her sometime, if you're feeling up to it.

Take care of yourself.

Hugs -- Cheryl

"Mom is incredibly emotional over you lately. More than normal. Maybe it has to do with the holidays and these being the first without you."

Hi, Kristina, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and your beautiful love letter to your beloved Dixie. Yes, unfortunately, the "firsts" are very hard to endure after our beloved companions join the angels. So your sadness through the holidays is VERY NORMAL, Kristina. Because these are the first holidays since your beloved Dixie joined the angels you may need to give yourself more emotional "room" to grieve your Dixie's physical absence. Knowing that her sweet Living Spirit is with is truly a blessing, but you are still going through the enormous adjustment to her physical absence. So, take it easy during the holidays - - as you feel you need to.

Thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious Lily is doing. There is no doubt that your beloved Dixie guided your and Lily's paths together, and that you are enjoying each other in your earthly journey together. This is what your beloved Dixie wants for the both of you, and she is so very proud of you.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Kristina. Please know you and your precious Lily are in my thoughts and prayers, Kristina, and that I look forward to sharing your news and your treasured memories of your beloved Dixie whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you Cheryl and moonbeam for constantly checking in. I too don't come around as much as I should, it's just too hard sometimes.

I guess the biggest thing right now is that my job I was so excited for, ended up being terrible. I seriously hate it, and have been sending out resumes like crazy, just biding my time until I can get a lead on something else. We have had a rough couple of weeks, so I can only hope things will turn around soon for us. Normally if things are not going the way we would like them to, we literally hit rock bottom, and then something happens to turn it all around.

We lost Aj's Grammy the Monday of Thanksgiving week, so our time in GA was extended for her services. Grammy was very Catholic. I have never been a religious person, but sitting in her funeral mass moved me so deeply. I honestly do not know where it came from, but I found myself praying on so many levels. My Dad is Catholic, but again it's something we have never really talked about. I am seriously considering going to mass one day. Maybe it will do me some good. Who knows.

Today, right at this moment, I am so beyond sad. We got out our Christmas decorations today, and one of the first things I found was Dixie's stocking and jingle bell party collar. Both still have her scent and hair all over them. I brought the items back into our bedroom and just sat on the bed with them, crying so hard. Macy came over and was frantically smelling them and wagging her tail. Then she just gave me this look that said "I miss her too Mom." A few days after Christmas will mark her 6 month anniversary. Almost half a year. I cannot believe it. Still to this day, when I walk in to the bathroom I fully expect her to be lying there, as she always was. I miss her.

So my friends, if you could send some good thoughts/prayers our way. We definitely need them. Our life needs to go in a different direction, and soon. And that I can get through the holidays without my girl for the first time. It is going to be very hard.

Oh, Kristina, I'm so sorry to hear that your new job hasn't lived up to it's expectations. It's so unsettling and disheartening when something like that happens. I really hope something else comes along for you soon. I know how it feels to have to get up every day and go somewhere you don't want to be. I worked in a job like that for 6 years, and it was soul destroying. I'm a much happier person since I left and haven't got that job dragging me down. Please let us know how you get on with the job search. Wishing you the best of luck with it.

I'm also sorry to hear about AJ's Grammy. If you found the mass comforting, then I definitely think you should start to attend a few. It doesn't really matter if you're a religious person or not - if it brings you some comfort, that's all that matters. You definitely need all the comfort you can get right now, so reach out for it in any way you can.

I know exactly what you're going through over Christmas, and finding Dixie's stocking. I remember being in a pet store around Christmas last year and seeing the "Small Animal Gift Stocking" that I bought my Daisy every year (that was just one of her many gifts!) and I literally burst into tears in the middle of the store, and had to run out. I went home and cried for the rest of the day. That was my first Christmas without her, this will be my second. The firsts are always the worse.

You'll most certainly be in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time, Kristina. If you ever need to talk more, feel free to send me a PM any time. Or you can even add me on Facebook if you'd like.

Sending you hugs -- Cheryl x

Hi, Kristina, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please permit me to DITTO everything that Cheryl has so eloquently shared with you. I am in a horrible job situation right now, too, - - almost for 12 years now, so I too understand how difficult it is for you with your current job. Since I am a senior citizen employee now there are not many opportunities for interviews when appropriate jobs are advertised. Hope has been given me as I have a job interview this coming Wednesday, and if I were to get the job it would truly be a blessing to me. I hope and pray with all my heart that you will get positive responses to your resumes and that you will find a much better job very soon.

I add my sincerest sympathies to Cheryl's in the loss of AJ's Grammy, as well as to another "first" you are facing - - the first Christmas with your beloved Dixie sharing it with you from heaven's perfect garden. I totally agree with Cheryl's advice to you: "It doesn't really matter if you're a religious person or not - if it brings you some comfort, that's all that matters. You definitely need all the comfort you can get right now, so reach out for it in any way you can."

Kristina, I hope the coming days and weeks will offer you comfort and hope. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how things are going for you and how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moonbeam and Cheryl. Having the two of you be a constant source of support really does mean a lot to me. I am due to start work at 9 am tomorrow, and I am really wondering if I will still have a job, and if I do have a job, will I be able to tough it out any longer. I actually haven't been at work since the Sunday of the week of Thanksgiving, with being out of town, and then once we got back home I got very sick. I sent a text to one of my bosses Monday night to let her know what was going on, and I never got a reply from her. I am just so disappointed. I quit school for this job, and thought it was going to be so great. The benefits and pay are fantastic, the job itself is hell. I have had a few terrible jobs in my life, and this takes the cake. I was getting discouraged earlier because I haven't had any calls for interviews, but Aj reminded me that I have only been sending resumes/applying for jobs for 2 days. I did find out that one of my friends from training class quit a few days ago for the same reasons that I want to, so I do feel better knowing that I am not alone. It just sucks though. Maybe tomorrow will be the day that I get a call that leads me to a new opportunity. Finances just suck right now. There is no way around it. We have so many things we need to take care of and the funds to do everything just aren't there. I suppose we could ask his parents for a loan, but that would be an absolute last resort. We are adults, we will figure this out somehow. We always do.

Thank you for being a sounding board for me. Sometimes keeping everything inside gets to be too much, and needs to be let out.

Well puppy it's been a while since I have come here to write to you. One week from today will be the 6 month mark. 6 months without you here. How is that even possible? Mom is really struggling lately. This will be the first Christmas without you. Then a few months later it will be March and your birthday. You would have been 11 years old on this birthday coming up. It is just too much to bear sometimes.

I know you know this already, but your Grandma got me a cremation pendant for Christmas. Your Dad got some of your ashes out to be sent off so the jewelry could be made. I didn't plan on looking at them, but I did for the first time. It made me very sad.

There isn't much I can say right now, because my heart is hurting so bad. I miss you so much.

Hi, Kristina,

My hearts goes out to you. The first Christmas is so, so hard, and I know there's nothing that I can say that will make you feel any better. This is my second Christmas without my bunny-girl, and it is a lot easier, though I'm still feeling a little sad. You just can't help but think of the memories and the routines. I know you're heart is hurting so, so much, and I'm so sorry for that. If you're able, try to take a little time to yourself on Christmas day, where you can just sit and think of your girl. Have a little cry if you need to.

Thinking of you and sending you hugs -
Cheryl x

Thanks Cheryl for stopping by as always. It means a lot to me.

6 months today. It doesn't seem real. I cannot believe you have been gone half a year. I still think I will walk into a room and you will be there. The hits just keep on coming for our family, add to that how much I miss you and it is almost too much to bear. I know things will turn around eventually for us, but the question is when?

I am keeping this short tonight, because if I wrote out everything I am feeling it would be pages. I love you puppy and miss you so much.

Not alot to say tonight, but I wanted to come in here and say that I sent some of Dixie's ashes off on Dec 22nd to have the cremation pendant made. 3 weeks went by and I hadn't gotten it yet. I emailed the guy. Her ashes are freaking lost in the mail somewhere. I am devastated. It is only a small amount but still, pat of her is missing. He said he has had things get lost before, but they have always shown up so I hope that is what happens this time. He is supposed to be sending me another kit so I can still get my pendant, and I think this time I will be getting a tracking number.

I got an email from the person doing Dixie's pendant today. Her ashes finally showed up and he made the pendant today! He is sending it out tomorrow so I should have it early next week. I am so happy that they finally got there. I was so scared they were lost forever.

Kristina, I have been reading your posts. I'm so glad that the ashes arrived. I know that Dixie's pendant will be beautiful. Blessings, Jennifer in Texas

Thank you Jennifer. I still don't come around here as much as I should. Hopefully one day soon I will be able to post more, but now its just too hard.

Her pendant is out for delivery right now! I should have it within the hour. I will post a photo once I get it!

Hi Kristina, don't be so hard on yourself for not coming around as much as you think you should. Sometimes focusing too much on painful memories can keep you stuck. The work of good grief should propel you forward in a positive light. Take care of yourself and come here when you are ready.. You are in my thought and prayers. Jennifer

Kristina, how are you? I would love to see a photo of Dixie's pendant when you are ready. xoxoxJennifer

Here is Dixie's pendant. I am having trouble getting a good shot of it for some reason. I really love it, and I love having a part of her with me at all times. The white swirls and bubbles are her ashes. I am so happy I decided to have this made.

I almost forgot, here is a recent pic of Lily from a few days ago. She is 7 months old now and she is just perfect!

Kristina, Dixie's pendant is beautiful and Lily is precious!! Be good to yourself. Surround yourself with people who love you and comfort you. And be happy. oxxo Jennifer

Thank you Jennifer. I love Dixie's pendant so much. It seems like every time we go somewhere someone stops me to comment on it, and then I get to talk about her for a few minutes. People really like it and ask me for the website of the guy that did it. It is really nice to be able to talk about her without crying, but I miss her more than ever. Her birthday is coming up next month, so I know I am going to have a difficult time with that. I was thinking about buying a bunch of flowers and going to the pet cemetery nearby and putting a flower at each gravestone. Plus at that cemetery each year the doggy funeral home that took care of Dixie does a memorial service, and they plant a new tree each year in remembrance of all the animals that have passed. It's just a really nice place. She would have been buried there if we didn't do cremation.

Things are pretty quiet around here. The dogs are chomping on their chew bones, Aj is out with his friends and I am sitting here enjoying quiet time. I think we may go to the dog park tomorrow, since the weather has been unseasonably warm this year.

And once again it's been a bit since I have posted. I come here sometimes to post, and then just end up rereading Dixie's threads and end up not posting. What more is there really to say though? My dog is gone and I miss her. I have been taking muscle relaxers for this dang pinched nerve, and they make me have really vivid dreams. I had one about her the other night and it seemed so real. Then I woke up.

Things are going along fairly well here. I am still trying to figure out what I want to do for Dixie's birthday next month. I want to get up to the cemetery and see the tree the doggy funeral home planted for all the animals they took care of last year. Aj and I were gonna stop by today but by the time we got done running around we were both pretty tired. We had a really nice day though. We went for an early dinner/late lunch, stopped off at ULTA so I could look at their hair extensions to get an idea of what I want, cause I plan on ordering hair online and I needed to actually see what NOT to get. The hair they had there was terrible! went to PetSmart and got Lily a harness, doggy toothpaste for her and Macy, and some toys, then went to the grocery. It was nice though cause we haven't had a day like that in a very long time, where just the two of us go out and do something together.

We had to get Lily a harness cause her collar keeps getting loose and she can get out of it. I really thought she was going to fight us on wearing a harness when she goes out, but she is so good! After the first time of putting it on and taking it off she is acting like a pro! She sits down real good, lets me put it on, goes out and comes back in and lets me take it off with no fuss. Dixie was the exact same way with her harness. She also let Aj brush her teeth. What a good girl we have. She is so smart.

I have also kind of been stepping back from the internet. I come here and read, and get on FB and read, but I haven't been updating lately. Mostly I have been just watching movies on Netflix, and rewatching seasons 1 and 2 of Downton Abbey. I am in love with that show. Everyone should watch it cause it is amazing.

We are still waiting for it to get warm enough to get to the dog park and do baths. I think later in the week it is going to be pretty nice, so hopefully then. We also are waiting for things to dry up a bit, so we don't have muddy dogs on our hands.

And on that note it is apparently potty time!

Well we finally did bath time. They were pretty smelly.

My father in law was up here this weekend and he took us out to lunch on Friday. And dropped the mother of all bombshells on us. My in laws want to buy us a house. In Georgia.

Aj and I talked about it a lot and we decided to do it. We don't have any details ironed out yet, but we should be down there by the end of April. I started looking at houses today.

I can't believe it. I am still trying to wrap my head around it. It will be our first house, the dogs will have a nice yard to run around and play in. I knew things would turn around for us somehow, and apparently this is the way. We are very blessed to have parents who are offering to do this amazing thing for us.

Hi, Kristina, stopping by to say hello and to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Congratulations on your parents buying a house for you!! How exciting!! I hope all goes well with the purchase of your new home and the move.

I read that you are a Downton Abbey fan, as am I. This is an incredible show, and I am looking forward to Season 3, whenever it begins. It is a wonderful portrayal of history.

Kristina, the first year of adjustment to the physical absence of a beloved companion is recognized as the hardest - - because it is filled with all the "firsts" which are constant reminders that the physical presence of our companions is no longer with us. Although the deep grief eases there will always be the feeling that the physical presence of someone very special and important is missing.

I'm glad you an AJ had an opportunity to get out together and enjoy the time together. This is important. And I know you will come up with a fitting way to honor your beloved Dixie's birthday next month.

Kristina, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and the very good news about your in-law's offer. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look foward to knowing how things are going for you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moonbeam for stopping in. I hope you and Noah are well.

I love Downton sooooo much. The other day I was looking at some photos online from a radio station in the UK. They were on the set while season 3 was filming and I was trying to figure out from the photos what was going on. I saw Matthew in what looked like wedding attire- so maybe Matthew and Lady Mary will finally get married! I also think Lady Edith will get married, I read that there were to be two weddings this season. I wonder if she will marry Sir Anthony? And I wonder if Lord Grantham will come to terms better with Lady Sibyl and Branson. And of course the best couple in the world. Anna and John Bates!! I am dying to know what happens with Mr. Bates and the murder trial.

Aj thinks I am nuts because I talk about these people like they are real. I am completely obsessed.

Dixie's birthday is Monday, and I am feeling so sad about it.

Lily and Macy are doing good. They are loving the early Spring weather we have been having.

I still don't know what is going on with Georgia. Aj says he doesn't really want to go, so we are going back and forth with his parents about it.

Now we are off to a St. Patrick's Day party. And I have nothing green to wear!

Well today is her birthday. She would have been 11 years old today. I am so sad that she is not here to have cake and presents. I have been looking at photos of her birthday last year all day. I wish more than anything that she could be here. It does get easier, but the heartache never goes away. Nor do the tears.

I celebrated a bit too much on St Patrick's Day by drinking an entire bottle of Patron. I am not a drinker at all, maybe once a year, and even then I don't drink much. I got it in my head that I was celebrating Dixie's birthday a few days early, and the goose really got loose!

There isn't much else to say. I miss her.

Dixie, you better get the word out to mommy to not overdo the celebration with spirits.

Much love to you sweet Dixie!

LoveMyMickey

Hi, Kristina, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing and your and your beloved Dixie's angel-versary birthday. I hope you know that your beloved Dixie was sharing it with you from her heavenly home. Although she is surrounded with perfect happiness there is a piece of her heart that is also missing - - for she gave it to you. And although she does not feel the piercing sadness that we still do as we continue with our earthly journey, her joy will not be complete until you both are reunited in eternal joy at your appropriate time.

For now, Kristina, hold tenaciously onto the many treasured memories you and your beloved Dixie shared during your earthly journey together, and know that she continues to be a part of you and all that you do - - for she is forever a heartbeat close to you.

I hope today is being kind to you, Kristina, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Dixie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Wow it has been a bit since I have been in here. Things have been a bit hectic in the Johnson household, and I haven't had much internet time.

My dad passed away on Friday April 13th. It was sudden and not expected, and my sister and I actually had to make the decision to take him off of life support. He held on til I got there, and then he crashed. My godfather was telling me a story that I had forgotten about. I was two weeks early when I was born, and my dad was in Michigan at my godparents wedding. My mom went into labor, and I waited for him to get home before I made my appearance in the world. When Aj and I got to the hospital in Michigan his stats were still good, and he was breathing on his own in addition to the life support. A few hours after we got there was when he crashed. My godfather said he waited for me just like I waited for him. That definitely gives me some comfort. I am amazed that I have not had any kind of meltdown, but I think it is because I have been so busy that I just don't have time to really think about it. I have a feeling that once we have his service I will lose my mind. We had him cremated and he is going to be buried at Fort Custer, a national cemetery in Michigan. He was Navy so he gets a full military service, and we don't have to pay a dime for it. My sister and I each got a small heart shaped urn so we can have some of his remains, and bury the rest. We are still working on dates for his service, but it will be fairly soon. We were planning on waiting til around Memorial day, but I don't want to open the wound up a month from now you know? I think it will be better to do it sooner rather than later.

So that has been whats going on here. We got back from Michigan early Tuesday, and I spent all of yesterday making all the calls I needed to make to social security and places like that. Today and tomorrow is devoted to checking in with family members. We are still waiting for his obituary to be posted. He lived in Muskegon, MI and it is a pretty small town so they are a bit slow with things sometimes.

I hope everyone is well, and I'll update as I can.

I forgot to add, I also told him while he was in the hospital to stop and pick up Dixie when he got there, and to watch her for me until I got there to be with them. I know he would get a kick out of that.

Dear Kristina,

I am so sorry you and your sister lost your Dad so suddenly. That is a heartwarming story about your Dad and you waiting for each other. Sometimes deep grief doesn't hit right away, but much later and very hard.

That sounds like a very nice national cemetery in MI. I also want to thank your Dad for his military service helping to keep our country free.
Kristina, take good care of yourself and your sister. My thoughts and prayers are with you and all your family.....God Bless...

Also I'm sure he and Dixie will have a grand old time in Heaven waiting for you.

((((HUGS))))

LoveMyMickey

I think you are right about the deep grief hitting later LoveMyMickey. Honestly at this point I just feel numb. I guess every situation is different. When Dixie passed I was a mess before she was even gone, and stayed that way for quite some time. I was thinking about it last night and numb is the best way I can think of to describe it. Like I know my Dad is gone, but it just hasn't fully hit me yet.

I think he would be very pleased with the place we picked. I am hoping the funeral director will call me back today so I can get going on these arrangements. I called him yesterday and he never returned my call. As a result of that I have been up all night cause I am so pissed off.

Now to get going with morning things around here. I am sure the animals want their breakfast.