I Miss My Sweet Zilla So Much, I had to put my sweet boy to sleep Options

[cat mom]

Friday August 27, 2010

Tonight I had to say goodbye to my cherished furry friend, Catzilla. He was a bit over 12 years old. We rescued him from the local animal shelter when he was a kitten. My husband picked him out because he looked so “f***ed up”, as he put it. He had ear mites so his ears drooped, and he had a bent tail that looked like it had been caught in a door, and a pitiful meow, but he was still cute!
He was such a good cat, so happy and loving, with a sweet face and gentle disposition. He gave us such love, joy and laughter. He was always ready to purr, even just having me walk into the room with him would get his motor going. In his later years, he loved sitting in my lap.
He’s never had any health problems until three days ago on Tuesday. He started having trouble walking, he was very weak, stumbling and walking slowly and aimlessly around the house, and sometimes would just stop in a corner and stare at the wall. When he would lay down, he wouldn’t sleep, just stare blankly. He showed no interest in food or water, which was SO not like him. He loved to eat ( he weighed 18 pounds!), and would even sit next to me when I would eat and gently tap me on the arm begging for a tidbit. I couldn’t figure what the problem could be, but whatever it was, it hit him hard and fast.
I took him to the vet and they did an X ray, blood test and urine test, but everything came back with acceptable levels. He perked up for a bit that night, then Wednesday he was pretty much a zombie. He would just lay there and stare blankly at nothing again, and was not aware of anything around him. I sat up with him all night on Wednesday, and I didn’t think he would make it through the night. Thursday morning, he was a little bit better, and he improved steadily through the day, and by evening he even ate, walked much better, and even jumped up in my lap for a nap. He was stretching, yawning and grooming himself, all the things a sick cat won’t do. He was almost his old self, clear eyed and relaxed. I think now that he came back to us for this brief time to say goodbye to us.
Today, Friday, he declined rapidly and was a zombie cat again. We had a feeling it was bad, but by 9PM he started having really bad seizures and spasms. All the signs were pointing to possibly a stroke or some other neurological problem, most likely a brain tumor. I think at this point, everything that was “him” was already gone. His heart was beating, he was breathing, but “Zilla” was already gone. We knew that this was something that he would not recover from, knew we would have to put him to sleep, and called an emergency vet. The vets around here don’t make house calls, so we had to drive him 30 minutes to the clinic. He hated riding in cars, but by this time he was barely conscious and not aware of his surroundings. The vet gave him a sedative to help calm his spasms, then had a hard time giving the euthanasia injection, his condition was so bad, his veins would collapse before she could administer the drug, but she was finally able to give him his release. This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, watch my sweet boy fade away. It hurts like hell, I could never imagine it could hurt so much, and I know that a part of me died with him tonight. I have a hole in my heart that will take a very long time to heal, but I also know that we did the right thing. I would rather suffer the pain of losing him and missing him instead of trying to keep him alive for selfish reasons and making him suffer. To give him the gift of peace was such a small repayment for all that he gave us.
Zilla and I will meet again on the other side of the Bridge, with all the other furry loved ones that I have lost over the years..
“A spark that burns so bright in our hearts shall never dim.”
I miss you so much, my sweet little fur face Zilla. I will love you always. Sleep in peace.

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[cat mom]

Hi LoveMyMickey, Gretta's Mom and leejaye,

Thanks for the kind words and the concerns about Munch. I did try to continue with the appetite stimulants when he came home from the vet - what a disaster! I guess those pills taste really foul. The first attempt at giving him, one he tasted it and spit it out, but with his saliva on the pill it started to dissolve. I picked it up and tried to give it to him again - big mistake. Some of the pill smeared in his mouth, and absolute RIVERS of saliva started to flow. Great streaming gobs of it everywhere! I called and asked the vet about this, thinking he was having some kind of adverse reaction to the medication. She said it was a common reaction cats have when they taste something they don't like. She suggested I try to use a "pill popper", which I purchased. When I got home I tried again, but the problem was that the pills were tiny to begin with, and he was only suppose to have a half pill a day and the half pill just didn't stay in the pill popper very well. It fell out on his tongue before I could get it placed properly in his mouth, and the gobs of saliva started again. By this time, Munch was truly angry with me, and wouldn't let me near him for the rest of the day. I gave up on the pills, the syringe feedings were soooo much less stressful on him. I don't know how the vets got the pills in him, but I think I remember them saying that they were giving him medication by injection.

About that video of Zilla that I accidentally taped over - I was SO angry with myself when I realized what I had done. I still mentally kick myself over that one. My husband and I said we should mount video cameras throughout the house, because we never seem to have a camera ready when one of the cats has a "Kodak Moment". Case in point:

Zilla and the Monsters


Zilla use to love exploring, snooping, and sneaking into rooms he was not suppose to be in. He would go nosing around in cupboards and closets, finding all kinds of interesting things and getting into mischief. One evening, Gary and I were watching TV, and Zilla came slinking slowly into the room. His eyes were as big as saucers. We saw that there was something on his back like a cape and trailing behind him but couldn’t make out what it was. He started to walk a little faster, and the thing rustled - he walked even faster and the thing started to billow up...it's was a plastic grocery bag. Then he started to flat out run, and the bag fully opened like a parachute. He was in full panic mode - the "monster" was after
him... and gaining! We were laughing so hard we almost wet our pants! I finally grabbed hold of Zilla and took the bag off of him. I couldn't imagine how he did it, but he had one front leg through each of the handles and the bag draped over him just like a cape. From that day on, Zilla was scared of any plastic bag - a self induced phobia.

Another time, we were again watching TV in the evening, and Zilla was playing in his cat tunnel. Zoom! Run through from the left! Zoom! Run through from the right! Zoom!
And then he hit the brakes - the tunnel had snagged on the tags on his collar, and now it was following him like a giant multicolored worm. He started to run and that thing looked like it was something alive and was trying to swallow him. He raced through the kitchen and did a bank shot off the fridge, and I grabbed him as he was headed for the second lap.
Pants almost got wet again.....I would have thought that he would also be afraid of his tunnel after that, but he continued to play in it like nothing had happened.

Thank you all again for taking the time to read about Zilla. I am glad you can get a few smiles from his adventures. If it helps even one of you to ease your pain from your own loss, I know Zilla would be happy.

Have a peaceful evening and warm hugs to you all.

Cat Mom

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