Friday August 27, 2010

Tonight I had to say goodbye to my cherished furry friend, Catzilla. He was a bit over 12 years old. We rescued him from the local animal shelter when he was a kitten. My husband picked him out because he looked so “f***ed up”, as he put it. He had ear mites so his ears drooped, and he had a bent tail that looked like it had been caught in a door, and a pitiful meow, but he was still cute!
He was such a good cat, so happy and loving, with a sweet face and gentle disposition. He gave us such love, joy and laughter. He was always ready to purr, even just having me walk into the room with him would get his motor going. In his later years, he loved sitting in my lap.
He’s never had any health problems until three days ago on Tuesday. He started having trouble walking, he was very weak, stumbling and walking slowly and aimlessly around the house, and sometimes would just stop in a corner and stare at the wall. When he would lay down, he wouldn’t sleep, just stare blankly. He showed no interest in food or water, which was SO not like him. He loved to eat ( he weighed 18 pounds!), and would even sit next to me when I would eat and gently tap me on the arm begging for a tidbit. I couldn’t figure what the problem could be, but whatever it was, it hit him hard and fast.
I took him to the vet and they did an X ray, blood test and urine test, but everything came back with acceptable levels. He perked up for a bit that night, then Wednesday he was pretty much a zombie. He would just lay there and stare blankly at nothing again, and was not aware of anything around him. I sat up with him all night on Wednesday, and I didn’t think he would make it through the night. Thursday morning, he was a little bit better, and he improved steadily through the day, and by evening he even ate, walked much better, and even jumped up in my lap for a nap. He was stretching, yawning and grooming himself, all the things a sick cat won’t do. He was almost his old self, clear eyed and relaxed. I think now that he came back to us for this brief time to say goodbye to us.
Today, Friday, he declined rapidly and was a zombie cat again. We had a feeling it was bad, but by 9PM he started having really bad seizures and spasms. All the signs were pointing to possibly a stroke or some other neurological problem, most likely a brain tumor. I think at this point, everything that was “him” was already gone. His heart was beating, he was breathing, but “Zilla” was already gone. We knew that this was something that he would not recover from, knew we would have to put him to sleep, and called an emergency vet. The vets around here don’t make house calls, so we had to drive him 30 minutes to the clinic. He hated riding in cars, but by this time he was barely conscious and not aware of his surroundings. The vet gave him a sedative to help calm his spasms, then had a hard time giving the euthanasia injection, his condition was so bad, his veins would collapse before she could administer the drug, but she was finally able to give him his release. This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, watch my sweet boy fade away. It hurts like hell, I could never imagine it could hurt so much, and I know that a part of me died with him tonight. I have a hole in my heart that will take a very long time to heal, but I also know that we did the right thing. I would rather suffer the pain of losing him and missing him instead of trying to keep him alive for selfish reasons and making him suffer. To give him the gift of peace was such a small repayment for all that he gave us.
Zilla and I will meet again on the other side of the Bridge, with all the other furry loved ones that I have lost over the years..
“A spark that burns so bright in our hearts shall never dim.”
I miss you so much, my sweet little fur face Zilla. I will love you always. Sleep in peace.

Dear Catmom

I was so very sad to hear of the loss of your darling Catzilla. He sure is beautiful and I love his name. You were with him when he needed you, and that means so very much. It's heartbreaking I know but it will bring you some peace in time, the fact that he knew his Mom was there with him. He'll be watching over you and knowing how much he is loved.
Please know that I am thinking of you and your dear Angel Zilla.
Hugs
Jan and my Angels and Pixie xx

Thank you Jan and your little angels, for your kind words and thoughts. It really does help, just sharing this and being able to talk about it.

That is one of the fattest cats I have ever seen!

I'm so sorry for your loss. You gave Catzilla 12 love-filled happy years and in his eyes you and your husband were heroes for rescuing him.

You've come to a fantastic place for support and sympathy. I stumbled upon this site the day after I lost my dog Winston when he was hit by a car and I don't think I could have made it through that time without all of the wonderful people here. We're all a family, joined by both a love of animals and the shared experience of having lost one.

Welcome to the family, and please let us know how you're doing.

-Clay

Dear Cat Mom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Catzilla. Losing a beloved companioin is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our beloved companions - - at great sacrifice to ourselves - - so that they can once again be healed and restored to their former youthfulness in the company of hte angels.

As I am reading through your post tears are flowing because I truly feel the depth of your love and how deeply you feel the physical absence of your precious Catzilla. Your precious furchild knows how much he was loved during his journey with you and your husband, and continues to know how much he will always be loved in your hearts and memories. The bonds of love that we share with our beloved companions go beyond the physical restrictions of time and space. Although the adjustment to not having your precious Catzilla's sweet precious physical presence will be difficult, you will always have his sweet Living Spirit with you wherever you go and whatever you do. He is always with you with every heartbeat, - - he is forever with you in your heart and memories.

Cat Mom, this grief journey doesn't care if it's our first or our thousandth loss of a beloved companion. Each grief journey is unique because of the individual relationship we share with each of our beloved companions. And each grief journey is painful. One of the many things you need to remember is that you are not alone in your grief journey. Each of us are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you so much for sharing your precious Catzilla with us, Cat Mom. He is a handsome little lad. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time of sorrow for you, Cat Mom, and please do let us know how things are going.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi,

I'm so glad you found this forum -- where you will receive wonderful support -- but I'm so sorry you have to be here. You are about to embark on a difficult journey, a rollercoaster of grief, but we are all here with you every single step of the way. Right now it will feel like the tears will never stop -- but let them flow, they are 'healing' tears. I know it is cliche, but it really will get easier with time. We are never the same after losing our babies, but we learn to adjust to a new way of life, and come to realise that they are still with us, only in a different way.

I look forward to hearing how you're doing. Take care of yourself, Cheryl x

P.S. What a cute, cuddly kitty

Cat Mom, I am so very sorry that you had to say goodbye to your cherished kitty, Catzilla. Wow, he is so gorgeous and so big and fluffy! What a beautiful boy.

It is so heartbreaking to lose our furbabies. The pain and loss seems unbearable at times, but it will eventually subside and you will find yourself smiling at all the wonderful happy memories of Zilla. The grief process is a rocky and unpredictable road with many twists and turns. But we have to travel it and we all somehow get through it. Like Cheryl said, we have to adjust to life without out pets and it takes alot of time and alot of tears.

Take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing. This is a great place to come for comfort. We have all been where you are.

Hugs,
Berta and Chico

Hello Clay,
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I know I will hurt for some time yet, but I know it will get better. Everyone on here is going through something similar, and I know we are all hurting, but it is comforting to know that we don't have to go it alone.
Yes, Zilla, did enjoy his food! Our nickname for him was "Budda Belly"
Thanks again for being here.
Cat Mom

Hello Moon Beam
This is such an uplifting site. I am so glad that I found it. The people here are wonderful. Thank you for your caring thoughts, you have no idea how they are welcomed and appreciated.

Hello Cheryl83 and Berta,
Thank you both for welcoming me here and for your kind words. This is one of those places that you wish didn't have to exist, but are so glad that it does.
Yes, I find my self crying at the least little thing. I still have two other wonderful sweet cats, Munch and Tank, and they are such a comfort now. On the night that I had to help Zilla cross the Bridge, I could not sleep. Tank stayed by my side the whole night, sleeping in a nearby chair. A chair he has never slept in before. He never sleeps on any chairs, only the floor or the back of the couch. It was as if he was watching over me.
Thank yo both again
Cat Mom

Hi, Cat Mom, isn't it amazing the intuition that our precious furkids have? I am so glad you have your precious Munch and Tank to keep you company. Remember - - they are grieving the loss of Catzilla, too. The dynamics of their "pride" have changed, and they will be making adjustments in terms of "seniority". I hope they are doing okay, that they are still eating and drinking water okay. I know you are keeping a watch on them, as much as they are keeping watch over you.

Again, Cat Mom, even though we "know" in our hearts and minds that our beloved companions are much better off with the angels, this still needs time to become a part of our core spirit before our aching hearts, particularly in the early deep grief, can begin to feel comforted. Take one day at a time, Cat Mom, and please remember we are here for you.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Cat Mom, I just read your post about your Zilla. I'm so sorry. Zilla passed on the one-year mark that our Frasier passed. Your story is a little similar to mine in that we both had fat boys and they both left us before they were actually gone. We lost Frasier and his brother, Niles this past year as well as our dog, Buck. It's been a rough year, to say the least. But this forum has been a life-saver. Especially as more time goes on and you start thinking you should be further along than you are but you come here and find out that it's ok.
Niles and Frasier "disconnected" in their last days like Zilla. In fact, in the days leading up to Niles' death, I couldn't get the song by Kelly Clarkson "Already Gone" out of my head. I think it was a message to me that he wanted me to move on. That he couldn't come back and he knew it. I loved all my boys with every fiber of my being but Niles was my soulmate kitty. So, I understand where you are right now. And I'm sorry that you are going through this. I'm glad you have 2 other kitties to help you right now. Are they big ones too? I just love big kitties! Your Zilla was beautiful. I'm sorry. I really am.
-Donna

Thank you Moon Beam, you are such a special person. It blows me away that people who I have never met before and probably never will meet can reach out to a total stranger and offer such compassion and understanding.
Today, over Zilla's grave I put some nice border stones and some flowers on it. Of course, I was almost blind from crying while doing it, but I felt a little better when I was done. It's so strange to feel such a weight on my heart, and at the same time to feel such an emptiness. I have lost many fur kids over the years and have grieved deeply over each one. But for some reason, Zilla's passing is just so much worse. I am lavishing extra affection on Munch and Tank, and I know they are wondering where their buddy is. It amazes me how our little fur kids can wrap their little paws around our hearts so tightly. I know we never can really call them ours - they are just on loan to us for a short while. I know God must have been missing him too and was tired of waiting and called him home. When Zilla was having his awful seizures, I was praying to God to take him gently, and I found out from the vet that as horrible as the seizures are to see, Zilla was unconscious and was in no pain. So the Lord heard my pleas. That is at least some solace.
Thank you again Moon Beam

Thank You Tanbuck/Donna. I am sorry to hear of your losses too. I love the names of your kitties, Frazier and Niles. And I'm sorry to hear about your Buck too. You have have had a very sorrowful year.
Zilla only started to gain weight when my husband brought Tank to join our family. I think Zilla felt like he had to compete for food, even though they all had their own separate bowls and they all got the exact same thing. Tank is a normal weight cat, and Munch is almost skinny. I think his age has something to do with that though, he's almost 14.
Thank you again for your kind thoughts.
Cat Mom

Hi, Cat Mom, I do so understand how therapeutic it is for you to work on Zilla's resting place. It's a "living" memorial to him - - with the plants and flowers, etc.. There are so many different variables in the grief journey, Cat Mom, that makes each one very unique - - including the time in our life - - what is happening in our lives at the time - - when one of our precious companinons precedes us from this side of eternity. The loss of their physical presence can also conjure up other emotions that we never thought were important before, or emotions or memories that we thought we had successfully "dealt with" in the past. It's a journey that has so many different combinations of emotions at any given time.

I do so understand what you mean about feeling heaviness in your heart at the same time emptiness. Because of my age for me now every month has multiple anniversary dates of when one of my beloved companions joined the angels. Although you do eventually "adjust" to the day to day physical absence, there is always, always, always an awareness that a part of you is with each of your beloved companions.

I am so glad that you feel God's answer to your prayers for Zilla's peaceful journey back home to Him. When my beautiful baby girl Abbygayle (see Abbygayle's Journey if you'd like) joined the angels in March, I had this vision in my mind of God holding her in His arms with her looking up at Him with her beautiful, trusting eyes, and Him holding her in His lap at His banquet table feeding her to her heart's delight - - because she was once again able to eat - - healed in His loving arms. While I still cry when I think of this - - because right now it's still very hard to not be able to hold her sweet precious physical body in my arms - - it does bring me great comfort and peace knowing that she is in the perfect care of our loving Father Creator. My beautiful baby girl was an answer to prayer when God brought her little life into mine, and now God is taking perfect care of her in His heavenly home, and I am very grateful for that. And I am grateful for being blessed of the privilege of having been her earthly guardian, of having her sweet Living Spirit forever with me in my heart and memories.

Cat Mom, as you so eloquently said, our beloved companions do wrap their little paws, claws, hoofs, fins, - - whatever - - tightly around our hearts. And this is one of the many reasons why it is so painful - - both physically and emotionally - - when they precede us from this side of eternity. They give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention, and we in turn surrender ourselves to them completely without reservation -- the part of us that belongs only to them.

I hope you will come to find that there are no "strangers" in this forum. Although we willl probably never physically meet one another on this side of eternity, we are brought together here by the strongest bond we will know during our journey - - the bond of love that we share with our beloved companions. When we do meet each other at our appointed time in heaven's perfect garden, we will know one another without the need for any formal introductions - - for our beloved companions have already done that.

Cat Mom, thank you so much for sharing your precious Zilla with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you, Munch, and Tank are donig.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you Moon Beam. Each day is getting a litter easier to deal with Zilla's loss. I don't know if I am starting to heal or just getting use to the pain. I still miss holding him so much, and having to fix one less food bowl at meal times still makes me tear up. I know my husband was so sadden by this loss too, but he seems to be getting past it much faster than I am. He's been so sweet and understanding, but he is starting to look at me like maybe I should be getting past it by now. I kind of feel like a Drama Queen, but I am doing the best I can to get a handle on my emotions.
Thank you Moon Beam, your words are so comforting. I know you are having to deal with your own grief and losses, and yet you are so comforting to so many others here. I think you are one of God's angels too, sent here to help us through our pain and grief, to give what comfort and understanding you can. Bless You.
Cat Mom

Hi, Cat Mom, you are definitely NOT a drama queen. Clinical studies prove that men and women grieve differently, so it is not surprising that you write that it seems that your husband appears to be doing "better". However, this could just be a "front" he is trying to portray to keep from succumbing to his grief emotions, at least in front of you - - so that he can be strong for you as well as for himself. Yeah, I know - -. It's not uncommon for two people to travel different paths in their shared grief journey. Hopefully you and your husband will be able to share the memories you have of Zilla, and this will help you both in your healing.

But - - whatever happens - - just know that we are here for you - - we will share your tears with you - - believe me - - and we will share your wonderful memories of your precious Zilla. There will be no need for a "public face" here to disguise how you're doing and what you're feeling, - - and we promise you no "false pretenses" in sharing our hearts with you.

Cat Mom, it is an honor to be able to offer you and everyone who comes to this forum sincerest compassion in your deepest sorrow. It is said that in helping others in their time of need we also help ourselves by focusing on someone else's need - - by putting someone else's need first. One of the many important things to know when coping with deep grief is that you are not alone, and that is one of the vital healing elements that offers comfort, encouragement, and hope to a heart that is breaking. I know what it's like to feel alone in my losses. Coming here to this forum has helped me to know that I am not alone, and that I'm "acceptable" in what I feel. If I can offer you and our fellow forum friends compassion, comfort, encouragement, and hope then what I have experienced in my life and my being here with you and everyone has purpose.

Cat Mom, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi All,
Today is the three week mark since I lost my Zilla. I still miss him so much, miss stroking his soft fur and his wacky antics that would always make me laugh. There is still such an emptiness in the house and in our lives. I still find myself crying at the stupidest things, but now it's not the sharp ripping pain that it first was. Now it's more of a bittersweet longing for something that was so wonderful but is now gone.
After three weeks, I am learning to bear the grief and pain. I am not accepting it - as one of you posted here - there is nothing acceptable about it.

I haven't been here much lately. I read Ladywolf's post about needing to staying away, and I can really relate to what she said. When I first lost Zilla, I would come here several times a day. Everyone here is going through the loss of a pet, and after a while, I was finding that reading the posts of everyone and knowing how much pain and grief you were all going through was keeping my pain fresh and not giving me a chance to deal with my own loss. I wanted to give comfort to others, but just didn't have the words. I just didn't have anything to say that I thought would help anyone.

My God, that sounds so incredibly selfish. You all helped me so much through a very dark time, and I can't thank you all enough for your kind words and gentle understanding. But I am at a point now where I can't keep immersing myself in all the pain, grief and misery here. I need to start leaving the pain behind and remember the wonderful times that we shared with Zilla. I think I am at a point where I can start coping with his passing on my own.

This is such a wonderful place - so supportive and caring, and I thank God for leading me here, you all are incredible people, and I'll probably come back from time to time to see how you are all doing. I know this journey through grief can be long and painful, and we each have to deal with it in our own way.
I want to thank each and every one of you again for reaching out to me and helping me through my loss. I wish for all of you to find your way out from the darkness and find happiness again.
May God bless you all
Catmom

Hi All,
Well, today marks 11 weeks since we had to have our Zilla put to sleep. Eleven weeks. How can that be? It seems like he was just here. The time has eased the pain of his loss somewhat, but I still miss him so very, very much. I go out to his grave almost daily and talk to him. I tell him even though he is not here, he is and will always be, in my heart. I still cry when I think of him. I honestly thought I would be past that by now.
Our new kitten, Boomer, is such a love, and so full of spunk and mischief, and even though I know Zilla would be happy that we were able to open home to another shelter cat, in a way, I feel like I am betraying Zilla, like I'm trying to replace him. Boomer has clearly chosen me, but again, I feel like I am betraying Zilla, and I'm having a hard time really bonding with Boomer. I care for him a lot, but at this point, I'm not sure I can honestly say that I love him, and that worries me greatly. He is such a sweetie and deserves better from me.
Boomer and our other kitty, Tank, have developed a really strong bond, it's so cute to see the two of them snuggled up together. I didn't think that Tank would ever accept another cat in the house, what a relief and surprise that they get along so well.
Our little old man kitty, Munch is having some issues. I can't help but think that bringing Boomer into the house caused this, it was only three days after we brought Boomer home, that Munch stopped eating. I have been having to force feed him 5 times a day for almost a month now. He's gained back a little of the weight he lost, but he's still not eating the foods that he use to love. The only thing he'll eat on his own in any quantity is his cat treats. At least they are 100% complete and balanced, so it's not just "junk food" I keep hoping that soon he will start to eat on his own again. He doesn't seem sick in any other way, he just won't eat.
I know that you are all still going through your own journeys of loss and grief, and my heart goes out to all of you. I truly appreciate that you have taken the time to read about Zilla, and I have also tried to read all of your posts as well.
Thank you all for being here - it does help so much to be able to talk about all of this with people who understand.
Bless you all
Cat Mom

My dearest Zilla,
Tonight, on Christmas Eve, it will have been 17 weeks exactly since you crossed the Bridge. Your memories are everywhere here and we miss you so very much. We remember how much you loved the Christmas tree, batting at the ornaments, and with all the Christmases we shared together, you only broke one. You loved to play with all the ribbon and bows on the packages, and every year, after we had opened all the presents on Christmas morning, we would stick a bow on your head, and every year, you gave us the same peevish look that said we humans have such a warped sense of humor. It just doesn't seem like Christmas without you. There's no joy in the house tonight.

To all of you having to deal with the loss or illness of a pet during the holidays, I hope you find peace in your hearts, and warmth in the memories of your pet or pets who have gone on ahead to wait for us at the Bridge. Your compassion, understanding and kind words helped me so much in dealing with Zilla's passing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

We love you and miss you, Zilla, you will be with us always. Sleep well, little one.

My Precious Zilla
Today it will have been 6 months since you left us and crossed the bridge. Even though you are gone physically, your presence is everywhere here. I think of you everyday, and I still miss you so very very much. We spent twelve beautiful years together, but I am greedy - twelve years was not nearly enough. I wish we would have had so much more time.
I still feel so guilty that I didn't know that on the last night that you were still "you" that it was to be your last time to be with us. I would have stayed up all night with you and kept you close to me. I thought that you had gotten over what ever was wrong with you and you were getting better. I didn't know what was wrong with then. That last night that you came up and jumped up in my lap, you purred the loudest I have ever heard you purr. Had I only known that you were saying goodbye that night. I feel so bad, so selfish, because you were purring so loud, you just wanted to be near me, and I put you down and said goodnight and went to bed. The next morning, because of seizures you had during the night, what was "you" was gone.
You will always be in my heart and thoughts, my little one. I miss you, my little fur face.

Dear Cat Mom,

Anniversaries can be difficult. I love the beautiful letter to your precious Zillo. How heartwarming that you feel his presence everywhere. I relate to the guilt in not knowing it was his last night on this earth. I only wish that I could have had the last night to do over again with my precious Victoria.

Please be gentle with yourself.
With peace and healing thoughts,
Juturna

First, I want to thank all of you who read about my furkid Catzilla. Your kind words and compassion were so comforting.
I still miss him so much, but at least now, I can think of him and smile at the memories when remembering him instead of feeling the crushing sadness.

I'm at my wit's end about my other cat, Munch, and need your advice and suggestions. When I wrote about Zilla, I also mentioned about Munch had stopped eating, and I was having to force feed him by syringe. He's eating a minimal amount on his own now, but it's not enough, and I have to still syringe feed him once or twice a day to make sure he gets the nutrition he needs daily. My problem is this - we have to attend a wedding out of town during the Memorial Day weekend. We will be gone for 6 days, and I just don't know what to do with Munch while we are gone.

I use to be able to leave the cats with plenty of food and water and have someone check in on them daily, and they were all fine. But since Zilla died, that has changed. I now have to have him segregated in a separate room, as both Tank and Boomer will attack him. Maybe now that he is old (14 years) he gives off some kind of phermone that signals weakness or something - I don't know - but the other two cats will attack him on sight. He's very much a "scaredy cat" and will not stand up for himself he just runs, which just provokes the attacks even more.

We have taken a few day trips over the past few months, but nothing overnight, and while we are gone, he does not eat at all. If I am not here with him, he will not eat - period. I am pretty sure his eating problems are emotional/psychological. I took him to the vet when all this started, and the tests they ran showed nothing. He is very shy and scared of anyone except my husband and myself. I can't have anyone come in and try to feed him, he will just cower and hide. I have made a reservation for him at a pet boarding veterinarian's office, but I absolutely cringe to think what that will do to Munch. He's never been boarded before, and to think of him cooped up in a strange place in that cage for 6 days, with strange people handling him, strange smells, barking dogs (vet's office), he will be absolutely terrified. I just don't know what else to do. I can't leave him home for 6 days to starve himself to death, and I can't have someone else come and try to feed him because of his fear of other people. I figure at least at a vet's office, they will be able to monitor him and know how to syringe feed him. At least they have a separate quiet room for cats, but because of having to force feed him, they want to board him in the hospital part of the office. They said they will put him in one of the large "big dog" cages, so at least he will have more room than the small "kitty condos", but still, a cage is a cage.

Do any of you have any ideas or suggestions? I feel horrible at having to put him through all this, but I just can't think of any other solution. I also know that with summer drawing near, my husband will be planning several trips, and we will probably have to board him then, too. Please help! Have any of you ever had to go though something like this?
Any ideas would be so welcomed and appreciated.

Sorry I rambled on so long. I know you are all going through your own grief and hardships, and my heart goes out to all of you. I figured maybe one of you may have had to deal with something like this in the past. Thank you for taking the time to read this. You people are wonderful, I am so lucky to have found you and this forum.
Cat Mom

Hi, Cat Mom, you are doing exactly what I would recommend - - boarding him at the vet. You are probably right about Tank and Boomer sensing changes in Munch. As you know, when living beings in the wild become old, weak, frail, the other pack members do become more aggressive toward them. It's their way of keeping the pack strong as well as their way of coping with the inevitability of having one less member in their family unit. I know it seems cruel, and feels cruel for Munch, but Tank's and Boomer's behavior is normal under the circumstances, sad to say.

I am so sorry your precious Munch is having a very difficult time. Perhaps when he is at the vet's you could have them do another check up. What might not have shown up in tests the first time might give a "clue" now. But you know Munch much better than anyone else does, and this is only a suggestion.

I just want to query you: Has the vet mentioned anything to you about a feeding tube? Think about this carefully because this is a surgical procedure. You may want to discuss with the vet you're boarding Munch with if you give them permission - - or not - - to insert one. This of course will give Munch more opportunity to receive more nutrition than through syringe feeding, but there are other risks involved because the feeding tube is invasive.

Cat Mom, please know that I do understand what you're going through, and my heart goes out to you. I am so glad that Munch is eating some on his own. This is good. You are doing everything in your power to help him, and this includes making sure he is in a place where he can receive the proper care while you are away. It sounds like the vet office is going to try to make his stay with them as peaceful, and healthy, as possible. The reality is - - there's no place like home with mom, and I know you are already looking forward to getting him back home with you as quickly as possible once you return from your trip. Please know you and your precious Munch are in my thoughts and prayers, and do look forward to knowing how things are going whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Moon Beam
I hope all is well with you and your sweet little Noah. Thank you for your ideas and insights.
Yes, I had read up on feeding tubes when this all this started and I think at least for now, the syringe feeding is the better option. It's non-invasive, and Munch seems to tolerate it well. I know he really doesn't like it, I wouldn't like it either if someone was trying to force food on me that way, but as soon as we are done, he shakes it off and doesn't act mad, so I guess there are no hard feelings on his part. I monitor virtually every calorie he consumes, so I know when a syringe feeding is warranted. Some days, he doesn't need any, some days it might be once or twice.

I know that as cats age, they tend to get more finicky, but Munch takes finicky to a whole new level. He doesn't act sick in any other way, he just doesn't want to eat. Maybe it's some kind of kitty dementia or something. I kind of rule out that his sense of smell is decreasing - he definitely can smell what he eats - turning up his nose at some things, and willingly eating small amounts of other things. It's his whole attitude that has changed. He just seems to not enjoy anything anymore. I have to keep him in a separate room, and I try to spend as much time with him as I can during the day, but he seems like he just lays there and is just passing time. I also don't think this is a reaction to Zilla's passing. They were never very close, they more had a peace agreement and tolerated each other. He doesn't want to play, he rarely purrs anymore, it seems the one thing he does enjoy is waking me up every half hour during the night, kind of like he is checking up on me. It use to be so nice when they all got along, but boy, change one thing (Zilla's passing) and everything changes. I'm attaching a photo back when they were all friends - Zilla on the left, Munch in the middle, and Tank on the right.

I do know that boarding him at the vet's is about as good as I can do for him, but it just makes me feel so sick with guilt that he will be put through 6 days of hellish terror and confinement. I know the vet's caregivers will be as gentle and comforting as they can be for him, they even advertise that they specialize in "difficult cases" - they're going to have their hands full with Munch.

Thanks again Moon Beam, for your kind words. It helps so much to be able to talk about this with someone.
God Bless,
Cat Mom

Hi, Cat Mom, thank you so o o much for sharing this wonderful picture of your precious Zilla, Munch, and Tank. It is written somewhere that our furkids are really the "heads of the household" and we - - their humans - - are their trained servants. Your Zilla, Munch, and Tank certainly look like they have everything well in paw. Thank you soo o o o much for sharing this wonderful picture with us.

Cat Mom, I know that even though you will be with family during a very special and exciting event, your heart and thoughts will be with your Munch. At least you have several weeks yet to prepare yourself and Munch for the time away from home. Please know you and your precious Munch are in my thoughts and prayers, and will be particularly while you are away. I will look forward to knowing how you and your precious Munch are doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

My sweet little fur face, Zilla
I can hardly believe that tonight will mark your one year Angel-versary. It’s been a whole year since was last able to hold you, stroke your soft fur, and hear your chirp-meow of happiness.
Only a year, but already it seems like an eternity. I still miss you so very much and I still have a Zilla size hole in my heart; it’s missing the piece that you took with you when you left on your journey over the Bridge. I hope you are well and happy there, eating all the treats you want, lying in the sun, walking in the cool green grass and chasing butterflies. I know to everyone else you were just a cat, but to me, you were my special boy, my once-in-a-lifetime soul kitty.
I know some people on this site have said that you know if your departed fur-kid is near if you find a single feather. My goodness, the feathers that I have found lately! Dozens! And blue ones, too, my favorite color! It makes me feel better and closer to Zilla to believe that they are special little gifts that he has left for me to remember him by.
I want to tell Zilla's stories so others can know him too, so I will start by telling one tonight.

Zilla and the Flying Leap
When we first brought Zilla home, he settled in very quickly, and invented all sorts of
games and habits. His playfulness knew no bounds, and Zilla soon developed a trick with my husband, Gary. Gary would be sitting in his recliner, and Zilla would race up to him, leap up in the air, do a half roll in mid air, and land on his back in Gary's lap, waiting for his belly to be tickled. We use to get such a kick out of this trick.
One time when Gary's boys were at the house for a visitation weekend, Gary was in his
chair, and the oldest boy, David, who was 14 then, was sitting on the couch at Gary's left at a ninety degree angle to Gary. I was sitting on the other couch to Gary's right and also at a
ninety degree angle, so we were all sitting in an "L". We could see Zilla lining up for the
flying leap, and Gary told David, "Watch this!" Zilla started his run, made the leap, did
the half roll, and executed a perfect landing in Gary's lap, feet up in the air, and his butt
pointed at David. Not the most flattering or modest view. Gary reached down to tickle
Zilla's belly, and Zilla let loose a perfect golden stream of urine that arced straight over to David. From his angle, David couldn't see what it was, he just felt that something was making him wet. I, on the other hand, had a perfect front row seat, and just about fell to the floor
laughing. Zilla couldn't have hit the target better if he had used a computer guided
laser sight. He only did this flying leap trick for a few months, then stopped.

I’ll post more of Zilla's stories soon. Thank you all for taking the time to read about Zilla. I have been back to this site several times and try to keep up with all of you, reading your posts, and sending out healing thoughts and wishes to those of you who are currently going through a loss of your own. Bless you all for your compassion and understanding and for being here for all of us who are hurting.

Good night, my sweet kitty Zilla, I miss you so much and will always love you.
Cat Mom

Dear Cat Mom, Zilla is a gorgeous man, and just busting with personality from that story! I can see why he would have left an enormous hole in your world, there is no such thing as "just a cat..." or "just a dog...", there are only these amazing souls that come to us and change us forever, sending you hugs and a wish for a bit of peace today Leejaye

Hi, cat mom, thank you so much for sharing your and your beloved Zilla's one year angel-versary with us, and for sharing this wonderful picture of him with us. Oh the wonderful memories our beloved companions leave with us - - I truly believe there should be an "olympics" for our more athletic-oriented companions. And every one of them would be WINNERS!!!!

I so agree with leejaye that there is no such thing as "just a . . . . " Anyone who says that or implies it is totally clueless and insensitive. Your beloved Zilla is always with you, and I'm so glad you have received this affirmation with all the feathers being sent your way.

Cat Mom, thank you again so much for sharing your beloved Zilla with us. I hope today has been kind to you and that you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Zilla's sweet Living Spirit to comfort and cheer you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Leejaye and Moon Beam,

Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to read about Zilla. Yes, he was quite a character, it seemed like he was always finding ways to amuse us - the "Class Clown" of the cat world!

I wish you both peace and happiness.

Cat Mom

Here is a few more things about Zilla that made him so special to us:

Zilla's Stupid Cat Tricks: Jumping Jacks...

One of them was jumping up to my shoulder and trusting me to catch him. He would never use his claws to catch himself or to hurt me. Usually this worked out fine, but occasionally, he would try to do the trick when my hands were full. Needless to say, I usually ended up dropping whatever I was holding to catch him. Do you think he did this on purpose? Hmmmmm....

He also would jump straight up into a open paper bag held right over his head. WOW! I’ve had several cats that have done this trick, so it must be one that they learn about from their “How to Please a Human" manual.


Another trick was jumping up to a dining room chair that had arms. He would jump up, grab hold of the chair arm and curl himself around it performing a perfect summersalt, and land flopped on his back. This was a variation of the flying leap he did as a kitten.

He enjoyed jumping into a clothes basket and having me drag him all over the house. He would stay in the basket no matter how energetic I dragged it around. I swear I could see him grin.

He loved to sit in our office chairs and go for spins. We would spin him for a minute or so, then stop the chair abruptly, and his head would wag back and forth until the spin effect would wear off. Sometimes we were too busy to spin him, so he learned how to jump into the chairs a certain way so he could get them to spin by himself. I swear, if this cat had been human, he would have been that guy that you see on the news, riding the newest extreme roller coaster 100 times a day.

Hi, cat mom, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing, and some of the wonderful memories you have of your beloved Zilla. AND for the wonderful picture of your "Amazing Zilla."

He truly sounds like quite the athlete. And I am chuckling at your observation: “How to Please a Human" manual. I think there is a LOT of "ad libbing" done along the way, don't you?

My number one kitty son, Eli, had many athletic feats as well, so I am now picturing your beloved Zilla and my beloved Eli teaching each other their "amazing" acts - - and when we join them in eternal joy at our appropriate time they will put on a performance for us.

Thank you again, Cat Mom, for sharing your beloved Zilla with us. I hope today is being kind to you, and that you will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Cat Mom, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Moon Beam,

Thank you for the kind words about Zilla. I can just picture your Eli and Zilla trying to "one-up" each other - I'm sure by the time we get to join them again they will have quite a show ready for us!

Yes, Zilla was quite the athlete in his younger days. As with all of us, as the years started adding up, he became a little more sedentary. I think the spirit was willing, but he just couldn't pull off some of his more strenuous feats.

I'll post some other stories soon, I hope you and others will enjoy reading them. Writing them here, I can see him doing all these things again in my mind. I have reached the point now where I still miss him so very much, but now I can look back and smile as I remember him as the happy fun-loving spirit that he was.

Have a good evening, Moon Beam, and bless you for all the kind words and heart-felt advice you have given to me and others. You are a huge part of the healing process here at L/S, and I and everyone else here so appreciate all that you give to us.

Cat Mom

Dear cat mom, Thankyou for more Zilla tales (tails?) - excellent smile value!! I am so glad you can bring up these memories with more smiles than tears, I look forward to more stories!! Hope the world is kind to you today Leejaye PS That is one personality filled cat in that last photo!!

Hi, cat mom, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. Your beloved Zilla is very happy that you are now being able to remember his earthly journey with you with a happier heart. Will there be times still in your earthly journey when a mist will come to your eyes when you think of him? Yes - - it's part of the package of loving him so deeply and missing his sweet physical presence with you. But I assure you those moments will be brief because your beloved Zilla will always be with you in your heart and your memories, and he continues to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will.

We are here for each other, cat mom, each of us sharing the gift of both our individual and collective strength and encouragement with one another - - helping each other to find the hope and courage of enduring through a very painful journey until we, like you, are once again able to smile as we recall our beloved companions' treasured earthly journey they shared with us, and the blessing of their eternal love. To be a part of this community is a blessing to me, and to be able to offer comfort is both an honor and a privilege.

I hope today is being kind to you, and that you will have a peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, cat mom, and look forward to knowing how you're doing. And I, like leejaye, look forward to sharing your cherished memories of your beloved Zilla.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Hi Moon Beam and leejaye,
Thanks for your kind words and for reading more about Zilla. Moon Beam, you asked if I still mist up when I think about Zilla - yes, I surely do. When I go out to his grave and sit with him, I tell him, he should be out here next to me, sitting in the warm sun, smelling the sweet grass, not below in the cold earth, and the tears come. I know his spirit is there with me, but I still so miss his physical presence. I cherish every moment of the journey we shared together, and though I feel it was much too brief and cut short too soon, I can now look back and smile at the memories of his antics.....

The Mighty Hunter and the Bird Feeder

He always considered himself a great hunter. He would catch all manner of creatures but was very gentle with them and did not kill them. He would bring them into the house and turn them loose. Ewwwwww. The only creatures that he was pretty hard on were hummingbirds. I don't think he meant to kill them, but they were such fragile little things, just having him slap at them was enough to do them in. It always greatly saddened me when this would happen. I had a hummingbird feeder in the yard that I ended up taking down to discourage the birds from coming around.
Every now and then, Zilla would come marching into the house carrying a small twig or a leaf. He would meow loudly, announcing his great kill. I would gently pick up this offering and put it in the trash, assuring Zilla that, yes, indeed, he was a mighty hunter, and that I was sure the stick had put up a hell of a fight.
He also had a love of twisty ties. If he found one on the floor by chance, it was as if he had won the lottery. He could play with one for hours....OK , maybe it was minutes, but with a cat’s attention span, I'm sure it seemed like hours to him.

Gary built a bird feeder for me for my birthday one year. Zilla loved to climb up and sit on it. It was very fancy, it even had a little decorative wooden finial on the top. I shudder to think where that little spike was jabbing him. Zilla found that this was an excellent place to sit and wait for birds. After all, it was a bird feeder. I guess he thought that meant that it would feed him birds! He eventually got too heavy for the bird feeder, and one day he jumped up to sit on it and it collapsed.

Thank you all again for continuing to read about Zilla - he was such a ham, I am sure he is very proud of now being "famous".

Peace and healing thought go out to all of you who are dealing with your own losses. It may not seem possible now, but in time, it will get better.

Cat Mom

Hi, cat mom, thank you so much for sharing more wonderful memories of your beloved Zilla with us. And the pictures - - truly a picture paints a thousand words!!!! So glad you had the presence of mind to capture these moments on camera!!!

Cat mom, I do so understand how you feel when you say: "I know his spirit is there with me, but I still so miss his physical presence." Nothing can ever substitute the physical presence of our beloved companions. To a certain extent no matter how much time passes a feeling that a very important part of your life is missing - - it's a part of the ongoing "adjustment journey" we travel when our companions precede us to the angels. And I am so glad you are now being able to find comfort in your many wonderful, precious memories that your beloved Zilla has blessed you - - and only you - - with. Thank you so much for honoring us by sharing some of your cherished memories with us.

I hope today is being kind to you, cat mom, and that you will have a very peaceful evening. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and am looking forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear cat mom, Thankyou again for sharing these great memories and photos, I really enjoy them - Zilla most assuredly deserves his fame!! I know exactly what you mean about feeling their spirit but still missing the physical...sigh...hope the universe is kind to you today Leejaye

Dear Catmom....First of all, I'm sorry for your loss of Zilla. That is one beautiful and talented cat. I think you could win the 10,000. or the $100,000. on America's Funniest Videos if you have recorded Zilla's tricks.......You have a lot of sweet memories to make you smile......I enjoyed your stories, they made me smile.

Your other cats are pretty too and I am sorry about Munch. I hope he gets better.....I hope you have a peaceful evening....God Bless...

Hugs,

LoveMyMickey

Hi Moon Beam, leejaye and LoveMyMickey,
I hope you all had a peaceful Labor Day Weekend. Thanks to you all for continuing to read about Zilla and his exploits!
LoveMyMickey, to answer a few of your questions...
Munch is still doing OK, not much change with him, thank you for asking. He did a lot better at the Vet's when I boarded him than I had hoped. They gave him some apatite stimulants and he ate on his own while he was there, so they didn't have to add the trauma of syringe feeding him while he was there. Once he was back home, and the stimulants wore off, he went back to his old habit of not eating much. I still have to syringe feed him, sometimes only once a day, sometimes several times a day. He does eat some on his own, but just not enough to give him the calories and nutrition he needs daily. I have his weight stabilized at about 11-1/2 pounds, so that's a good thing.

As to Zilla, I, also, wish I had taken more video of him. I have lots of photos of him, but only two short videos. And I did have the $10,000 winning video of him.....and, stupid me, I taped over it!! It was of him sneaking out of the yard by jumping up on the BBQ, then up onto the roof, standing up on his hind legs and tippy-toeing around a barrier and then jumping down into the front yard. We finally had to put a full awning over the BBQ to block access to the roof.

Tank and Boomer are getting along like best buddies. They have occasional spats that I have to break up, but for the most part, they love to hang out together. I'll attach a picture of them "holding hands". Boomer is on the left and Tank on the right - I just love the smug expression on Tank's face.

I'll post a few more stories of Zilla soon - I hope you will enjoy them.

Have a pleasant and peaceful evening.
Cat Mom

Hi Cat Mom....We had a peaceful Labor Day weekend with rain and now has turned unseasonably cool for this time of year......I'm glad Munch did okay while at the vets and was eating. Looks like they would have something to give him at home for his appetite.

Oh no, you taped over a $10,000 video! That sure sounded like it would have won. He sure was an acrobat. I bet he is keeping all our little angel pets entertained.

The last pic you posted showed up as a red X, at least on my computer. I look forward to more of your stories.......I hope you have a peaceful evening.

LoveMyMickey

Hello Zilla's mom

Just adding my best wishes for Munch's return to health and a piece of my heart to you on the angel-versary of him going to the Promised Land. Kitties are WONDERFUL - your pictures of your kitty family are so precious. They all look SO loved!

Please keep us posted on Mr Munch.

Gretta's mom

Dear cat mom, That is, indeed, a smug look! Thanks for another great photo, I can't believe you taped over that video either, going on Zilla's exploits so far, it would have been a sure winner! Hope Munch is staying on track, sending you huge smiles for the ones you gave me today, Leejaye

Hi LoveMyMickey, Gretta's Mom and leejaye,

Thanks for the kind words and the concerns about Munch. I did try to continue with the appetite stimulants when he came home from the vet - what a disaster! I guess those pills taste really foul. The first attempt at giving him, one he tasted it and spit it out, but with his saliva on the pill it started to dissolve. I picked it up and tried to give it to him again - big mistake. Some of the pill smeared in his mouth, and absolute RIVERS of saliva started to flow. Great streaming gobs of it everywhere! I called and asked the vet about this, thinking he was having some kind of adverse reaction to the medication. She said it was a common reaction cats have when they taste something they don't like. She suggested I try to use a "pill popper", which I purchased. When I got home I tried again, but the problem was that the pills were tiny to begin with, and he was only suppose to have a half pill a day and the half pill just didn't stay in the pill popper very well. It fell out on his tongue before I could get it placed properly in his mouth, and the gobs of saliva started again. By this time, Munch was truly angry with me, and wouldn't let me near him for the rest of the day. I gave up on the pills, the syringe feedings were soooo much less stressful on him. I don't know how the vets got the pills in him, but I think I remember them saying that they were giving him medication by injection.

About that video of Zilla that I accidentally taped over - I was SO angry with myself when I realized what I had done. I still mentally kick myself over that one. My husband and I said we should mount video cameras throughout the house, because we never seem to have a camera ready when one of the cats has a "Kodak Moment". Case in point:

Zilla and the Monsters


Zilla use to love exploring, snooping, and sneaking into rooms he was not suppose to be in. He would go nosing around in cupboards and closets, finding all kinds of interesting things and getting into mischief. One evening, Gary and I were watching TV, and Zilla came slinking slowly into the room. His eyes were as big as saucers. We saw that there was something on his back like a cape and trailing behind him but couldn’t make out what it was. He started to walk a little faster, and the thing rustled - he walked even faster and the thing started to billow up...it's was a plastic grocery bag. Then he started to flat out run, and the bag fully opened like a parachute. He was in full panic mode - the "monster" was after
him... and gaining! We were laughing so hard we almost wet our pants! I finally grabbed hold of Zilla and took the bag off of him. I couldn't imagine how he did it, but he had one front leg through each of the handles and the bag draped over him just like a cape. From that day on, Zilla was scared of any plastic bag - a self induced phobia.

Another time, we were again watching TV in the evening, and Zilla was playing in his cat tunnel. Zoom! Run through from the left! Zoom! Run through from the right! Zoom!
And then he hit the brakes - the tunnel had snagged on the tags on his collar, and now it was following him like a giant multicolored worm. He started to run and that thing looked like it was something alive and was trying to swallow him. He raced through the kitchen and did a bank shot off the fridge, and I grabbed him as he was headed for the second lap.
Pants almost got wet again.....I would have thought that he would also be afraid of his tunnel after that, but he continued to play in it like nothing had happened.

Thank you all again for taking the time to read about Zilla. I am glad you can get a few smiles from his adventures. If it helps even one of you to ease your pain from your own loss, I know Zilla would be happy.

Have a peaceful evening and warm hugs to you all.

Cat Mom

Hi, cat mom, thank you so much for sharing with us more of your treasured memories of your beloved Zilla, and for the wonderful picture of him in his tunnel. Those pill poppers require developing a technique in using them, for sure. I'm chuckling at your Zilla's response to the taste of his medication. My Eli was "anit-pill" - - in any form or fashion of disguising it - - including "yummy" pill pockets. And it wasn't just a matter of spitting out the pill - - he had to see HOW FAR he could spit it. Even the vet commented on this. Once he got "wise" that I was trying to give him medication disguised in peanut butter or pill pockets or chicken - - he would have nothing to do with it. It would have been easier being a lion tamer than trying to give him his medication.

I do thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Zilla with us. I so enjoy reading through your treasured memories. I hope today is being kind to you, cat mom. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and am looking forward to sharing your cherished memories of your beloved Zilla whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Oh, Cat Mom, I have tears again tonight, not from sadness, but from laughing, almost spit water on my keyboard. .....I could just picture Zilla with that paper bag and also the tunnel. More winners for you....The tunnel picture was cute.

I know what you mean about the pills. We always had to trick Mickey into taking his. And if it was a bitter pill, forget it. Good thing his antibiotics came in liquid form and tasted better.

Cat Mom, again, thank you for sharing your Zilla stories.....I bet Zilla is up there keeping all our angel-pets smiling.........I hope you have a pleasant evening.

Hugs,

LoveMyMickey

Hi cat mom, Thanks again for the great Zilla stories - they make my day start with a smile! We had to give my Mischief cat appetite stimulants, if I didn't get them down on the first go (and she got really good at hiding them in her cheek and spitting them out when I wasn't looking) they turned into this horrible crumbling paste that obviously didn't taste too good smeared on her tongue, some days I just felt it was too stressful for her and didn't worry about them, instead i concentrated on finding something yummy that she would feel like eating (towards the end she took a fancy to some imported French duck terrine I had bought for myself as a treat - I think she ate most of it! By this stage the vet agreed whatever she wanted to eat she could have...so long as it wasn't chocolate!)...hope you can find something that works for Munch, sending you hugs Leejaye

A Day Of Remembrance

Hi Moon Beam, LoveMyMickey and leejaye, and all of you who who have graciously read about my memories of my sweet boy, Zilla....

Today is a day for remembering all of those who have gone on before us, all of those whose lives were cut tragically short on this day 10 years ago, and all of our companion animals whose lives ended way before we were ready to let them go and just remembering all of our loved ones who have left this world ahead of us.

I know so many of you are struggling with your own losses, and for so many of you, remembering our loved ones still is so painful. To you who are dealing with the grief, I can only offer my sincere wishes that you find comfort in knowing that only the physical bodies of our fur kids are gone, their bright spirits still live in us and around us and in our memories - as long as they are in our thoughts and hearts, they will always be with us.

I will share just a few more memories of Zilla, today, maybe the pictures will bring a smile to you and lighten your hearts...

Zilla - A Big Boy...

As Zilla got older, he started to put on weight. He loved to eat, and at the time of his passing, he weighed 18 pounds!
He seemed to have the need to compete for food with Munch and Tank, even though they all had their own bowls and were given the same amount of food. The result of this was he pretty much outgrew his cat beds. He would sleep in all sorts of contorted positions, trying to fit as much of himself in the bed as possible - sometimes the positions he got into were not the most modest or flattering ones...... (picture 1)

As a kitten, he loved to crawl under the legs of an end table that we have - as he grew larger, he still tried to crawl under it, but he would get stuck and we had to come over and lift the table off of him to free him. He would try his best to push himself through, but when he realized that we was good and truly stuck, he would start to meow softly, like he was embarrassed and saying quietly "a little help, please....!! " Thank goodness he never did that while we were away from home! (picture 2)

Thank you all for taking the time to share my memories of Zilla, he was such a bright, happy, fun loving soul and I still miss him so very much.

I hope you have a peaceful day and I send warm thoughts and hugs to you all.

Cat Mom

Hi, cat mom, thank you so much for sharing your beloved Zilla with us, and how you are doing. The pictures of your beloved Zilla are tremendous - - wish you could see me smiling - - thank you so very much for sharing these treasured memories with us.

I hope today is being kind to you, cat mom. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and always look forward to sharing your cherished memories of your beloved Zilla whenever possible.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Dear cat mom, Your thread is my regular stop for a smile to start off the day, you've even hooked my partner, he loves your photos and stories too - I think you need to write an adventures of Zilla book!! I hope the world sends you as many smiles as you have sent me, and that it is easier for you today, hugest hugs from Leejaye