My Furry Friend, All about Champagne Options

[imtancy]

Hello, I am new to this site. I felt the need to share with someone about the loss of my beautiful kitty. I am so heartbroken over his death. He was ill with kidney failure, but I have been tending to him everynight by hydrating him every night with 100 cc's of lactated ringers, I have done this for 5 years. Two weeks ago his appetite started to diminish and he started losing weight. I took to feeding him daily with a syringe with his medication mixed in. The vet also prescribed an appetite stimulant. He continued to decline. Thursday I was home from work and he was laying on the couch. I was on the computer writing to his vet and when I went to check on him he was barely breathing. My husband rushed us to the vet. His oxygen levels in his blood was down to 5%. We were told they could do a transfusion, but afterward there would be no guarentee's. They could put him on meds to help his oxygen levels, then check to see what his kidney values were. The cost was going to so much more than we could afford. And that just tears me up to think in those terms. I was unable to make the decision and was moments away from spending money we don't have, but I looked to my husband who made the decision to have him humanely put to sleep. My heart broke. I hate living with the 'what it's'. What if the transfusion had helped and he could have still been with us? What if the medication they would have given him after the transfusion would have extended his life? All because we didn't have the money for the transfusion. That just tears me up so bad, I cry all the time, I miss him so much. I don't see how I can ever get over this loss. My home is so vacant now. I can't bear to part with his things yet, but I look at them and break down in tears. His litter box is in the hallway and I can see it when I'm in the restroom. I still see him teetering on the edge as he did his business, he was so funny that way. I don't know how to cope with this loss. He was such a beautiful spirit. He sat on me everytime I was home. He'd be at the front door waiting for me to come in from work. He followed me around where ever I went. He couldn't wait to sit on my lap. He jump up on my husbands lap just to cross over it to get to me. He was in every sense, my cat. And now he's gone. I don't know what I'm gonna do with out him. Why???? I love you Champagne and wish I could do Thursday over again. I am heartbroken. A part of me has died with him.